Chapter 5. Bodhisattva and the Script

Monk Yuan suffered an extreme shock.

Lord Jellyfish was discussing the Diamond Sutra[1] with Monk Yuan.

"If all forms are unreal, the Tathagata will be perceived. What is having a form, what is having no form? Having and not having, because of being fabricated are unfettered. Yet with the Prajñā there is a barrier[2].

Monk Yuan went from disputing Lord Jellyfish to listening respectfully, his att.i.tude changing to becoming exceptionally straightforward, and it only took Lord Jellyfish ten minutes.

Hua Ji at the side was listening until both his eyes grew round, he completely did not understand anything.

At last he pushed himself up and pulled open a drawer, retrieving a few top-grade tea leaves, brewed them into tea and carrying it over.

At this time, Lord Jellyfish stretched out a tentacle, receiving the teacup, crisply asking, "What object is this?"

Monk Yuan said, "Teacup."

"What object is inside this?"

"Tea."

"No, there is nothing inside." Lord Jellyfish said, "All forms are unreal."

Monk Yuan tightly furrowed his eyebrows, before they relaxed after half a beat. His face was filled with respect as he said, "Many thanks for senior's guidance."

After that, he respectfully left.

Hua Ji reverently looked at Lord Jellyfish, cautiously asking, "What were you guys talking about just now?"

Lord Jellyfish slowly turned his head, revealing the laptop behind him.

"We weren't talking about anything."

Hua Ji wordlessly stared at the screen of the laptop where it showed a Baidu article debating the Diamond Sutra, disbelievingly saying, "Y-y-you…… you couldn't have been reading off the article?"

Lord Jellyfish had largely already lost all hope towards Hua Ji's IQ.

"Using your Zhong Hua people's words, I am a monster, he is a monster exterminator, why in the world would I research the Diamond Sutra?"

Lord Jellyfish closed the Baidu article on the Diamond Sutra, picking up the information and forms left behind by Monk Yuan.

"Your management had become quite strict, it's unlike the past."

Hua Ji drily said, "The country's been founded after all…"

Lord Jellyfish waved his tentacle, mimicking crossing his arm across his chest, saying, "Yet in the past, countries were constantly founded, but the Imperial Households of the past didn't record down the monsters.

The other tentacle flipped through the form, Lord Jellyfish said, "Even need to attend an exam."

"That's right, when's all said and done, right now Zhong Hua monsters are all hidden within the human crowd, living their lives. Wanting to remain in the human world, they must pa.s.s an exam, not allowed to arouse the panic of the ordinary people." Speaking until here, Hua Ji hurriedly said, "In the past when I was doing the audition, you dripped water, almost exposing yourself in front of Director Yu."

Lord Jellyfish nodded its small umbrella, "Alright, I know, Next time I won't let other people see me."

Pausing for a beat, he said, "That person who was acting out the scene with you is surely not an ordinary person, his life-force is much more vigorous than an ordinary person's.

Hua Ji waved a hand, "He's fine, he's a cultivator from the sect, part of the cultivation world like us."

Lord Jellyfish said, "He has evil intent towards you, can I eat him?"

"……" Hua Ji swallowed his saliva, shaking his head, "This is also one of the reasons an exam needs to be taken. Monsters need to comply with the country's rules and regulations, the exact regulations set to target us monsters.

Lord Jellyfish displayed his understanding, "I will carefully study it."

After the talk today, Lord Jellyfish ultimately occupied Hua Ji's laptop, four tentacles clacking on the keys, flipping through pdfs. Four tentacles flipped through the information left behind by Monk Yuan, the other two tentacles even picked up the remote control, getting information through the television.

When Hua Ji saw this scene, although he couldn't fully understand what was going on, it seemed pretty amazing.

The next day, Yan Hu Die gave him a call, telling him that the script was already in his inbox, waiting for him to look it over.

Hua Ji mused, "It's really strange, usually you would directly send it over ah."

Yan Hu Die said, "Hehe, now there's n.o.body who dares to go over to your place."

Hua Ji felt especially proud, Lord Jellyfish's fame spread far and wide ya!

"That is, this senior is really powerful." Not waiting for him to regale him with the story of how Lord Jellyfish scared Monk Yuan into retreat, he heard Yan Hu Die saying, "Yesterday the Mystical Protection Department's (Mystical Creature Protection Department) Department Head visited your apartment? When he returned yesterday night, he gave a call to the Supernatural Management Office's director to take leave to return to Mou forest temple. The news just spread out today, apparently he raised a small realm[3].

Hua Ji was stunned.

"Now, the news outside is that on your trip out of the country, you brought back a senior Bodhisattva." Yan Hu Die's tone carried faint traces of ridicule, "It's even a big Bodhisattva that can help people raise realms."

Hua Ji frantically said, "But you saw it with your own eyes, he's a monster ah, a monster!!"

"So what if he's a monster, Sun Wukong[4] was a monster yet that one still managed to defeat Buddha." Yan Hu Die unconcernedly said, "Word has it that this senior Bodhisattva of yours is the protector of Buddhist law by the side of one of Zhong Hua country's historical great masters. Now everyone is placing bets as to which great master it is."

Hua Ji was already completely speechless.

He said, "Who's the banker?"

Yan Hu Die said, "Tiger Meng. You know that he has a casino in Macau, the bets are really large."

Hua Ji said, "What choices are there?"

"Relax, there is a 'talking rubbish' choice."

"OK. Very good, help me place a bet in this 'talking rubbish' choice. What are the odds?"

"One-to-one."

"…… Huh?" Hua Ji said, astonished, "This is simply no profit, no loss!"

"That's right, because everyone know this is a joke, only the sect believes it, but they don't gamble."

Hua Ji was silent.

The funds in the sect were all legally acquired, every single disciple had to record down their spending, which was really pitiful. It was not as good as the monsters had it, at least they could still gamble and visit prost.i.tutes.

…… What? The country bans prost.i.tution? No no no, to the foxes who cultivate through the joining of bodies, not letting them pa pa pa[5] is akin to asking for their lives. This is why when it comes to monsters, some bans could be ignored.

Cough cough, of course, Hua Ji didn't walk that path, he walked the path of cultivating by absorbing the essence of moonlight. Even though the cultivation speed was slow, but it was stable. This was also the reason why the sect went to find trouble with him several times but was not allowed to deal a killing blow.

After the country was founded, one of the rules of the sects was to be forbidden to harm any monsters that cultivated honestly, as all lives were born equal.

Un, thanks to America's Declaration of Independence.

Hanging up the phone, Hua Ji entered the study room and sat in front of the desktop computer, opening his inbox to check out the email.

Yan Hu Die had emailed the script to him. After downloading the script, Hua Ji printed it out and stapled it into a thick booklet, engrossing himself in reading it.

The name of this series was 《The Outstanding, Charming Maiden》

Really vulgar.

The name was vulgar, the plot was also quite vulgar. In short, the story was about a young maiden from some sect meeting a handsome guy after leaving the mountain. A male and a female walked together on the Jianghu[6], ultimately becoming the strongest martial artists under the skies, with the series ending with them tying the knot.

…… This sort of rubbish script was actually in preparations to be filmed?

Hua Ji shook his head, a bland setting along with a boring story, how can it become popular?

It all depends on how the story is told as well as the actors' popularity.

Director Yu had this sort of ability to make a tasteless, dog blood story into cla.s.sic love story

Hua Ji roughly skimmed over the story's plot, before starting on the most important bits, his parts.

He was called Feng Hui Xue, and is the Head General Manager of the Sect Leader of the Devil Sect on the Jianghu. When the female lead left the mountain and met the flaneur male lead, the male lead was plotted against by his good friend and fell down a cliff, his life and death unknown. The female lead then decided to jump down the cliff with him.

Just when the female lead was about jump down the cliff, the Head General Manager Feng Hui Xue seized the opportunity to ambush the Jianghu's up-and-rising new talents. Kill the men and take hostage the women, after that a good show would play out.

The female lead stepped forward bravely, helping out these people who betrayed the male lead[7].

She said, even though these people betrayed Shao Ting (the male lead's name), their crimes did not deserve death, and even more so could not die without even knowing how to a Devil Pract.i.tioner, everyone charge together……

Hence these fellows who betrayed the male lead were stirred up by the female lead's display, one by one prostrating themselves before the female lead, then…… they abandoned the female lead, taking advantage of when the female lead tied up Feng Hui Xue to quickly escape.

Thus, the female lead landed in Feng Hui Xue's hands.

Feng Hui Xue ridiculed the female lead, who knew that the female lead would still firmly believe that the others had honour, the fellows left to gather their seniors, and they would definitely come back to rescue her.

Facing the female lead that was like the Virgin Mary, Feng Hui Xue simply captured her and brought her back to the Devil Sect.

Because of the female lead's obstruction, Feng Hui Xue didn't manage to complete his mission. In order to explain it clearly to the Sect Leader, he let the Sect Leader see the female lead.

In the end, when the originally wise and farsighted Sect Leader saw the female lead, he instantly became brainless.

The Devil Sect Sect Leader was entranced by the female lead's Virgin Mary halo, wondering how could the world have a girl that was so innocent, pure and beautiful. He wanted to…… pa pa pa with the female lead, to see how the female lead would react to being humiliated.

Who would have expected that when the female lead was being treated roughly by the Sect Leader, she would unexpectedly say in a pitying voice, "You actually treat me like this, y-y-you couldn't have never had a woman before?"

The female lead had an expression of 'you're so pitiful' when she looked at the Devil Sect Sect Leader, after that selflessly[8] deciding to use her body to teach the devil, letting the Devil Sect Sect leader understand what is men and women.

At this moment, the eavesdropping Feng Hui Xue broke down the door and rushed in, shouting, "Release the Sect Leader, let me do it!!"

"Pu–~!!"

Hua Ji spat a mouthful of saliva, directly ripping apart the script.

[1] A buddhist sutra

[2] Difficult to the extreme to translate. "凡所有相皆虛妄，何謂有相何謂無相？有和無卻與虛妄無礙，而與般若有大關。"

[3] A cultivation term. Typically there are three small realms for every big realm, for example in ISSTH, there is the Foundation Building realm, but in the Foundation Building realm there is Low Foundation Building, Middle Foundation Building etc.

[4] A character from Journey to the West, also known as the Monkey King.

[5] It means to have s.e.x.

[6] In Wuxia novels, the Jianghu is the place where martial artists congregate.

[7] Not sure if the author typoed here and continued typoing or it was an intentional pun since the words sound the same, but the words ‘male lead’ was written as 楠竹, which is a species of bamboo.

[8] The actual phrase is 大義凜然 which is an idiom meaning ‘inspiring awe by upholding justice’ which is actually pretty hilarious and ironic.