Jaku-chara Tomozaki-kun - Volume 1 Chapter 0
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Volume 1 Chapter 0

『Life is a kamige』 – so goes the famous sentencecopypaste, but if I were allowed to have my say, such a thing is a lie.

That exquisite balance adjustments have been carried out such that earnestly trying one's best will allow one to just about clear it, is a practical joke by human beings who have never been confronted with circ.u.mstances from which there are truly no ways out; that each character makes their appearance possessing deep humanity and history, is nothing but an ideal thought up by human beings unaware of the bottom-dwelling shallow mob characters that exist in society.

Please don't say something like, 「Seems like you're a mob too」.

After all, isn't operating with an infinite number of pixels x infinite number of pixels running at an infinite number of frames per second, not necessarily a good thing? There are times when having fewer pixels is tasteful, and above all else, it is because the resolution of this world is too high that the plain things like myself are plainly on display.

If it were pixel art, there's no mistaking that there would be much more similarity with everyone else.

I'm not crying.

I mean in the first place, the notion that it is desirable to have complicated intricacy to that degree, is a mistaken way of thinking to begin with. a.s.suredly, it is the case that superior games always have a simplistic beauty to them.

It's that way for shōgi [1], it's even that way for Super Mario, and even the rules for the latest FPS games are also simplistic in nature. Within simplistic rules and concepts, live profundity and flavour.

The games that have left their mark in history are always such.

Now then. On that point, how about Life.

From ancient times, many intelligent scientists have, by way of experiments and verification, been searching for the 『Rules of every phenomena』 [2], that is, 『Life's Rules』, but have in the end, up until the present day, yet to find the full answer.

From ancient times, many keen-minded philosophers have, with conceptions and logic, folded their arms and pondered 『What is the meaning of life?』, that is, 『Life's Concept』, to the point of mental exhaustion but, for each person to have their own refutable opinion, is something I have not even once heard of. [3]

That kind of game where, it is anything but simple to provide a good answer when forced to explain the rules and concepts, except by way of 『For the time being just live, I don't really know what's next』, just where is the so-called kamige?

On the contrary, even when doing the same as others, people will be discriminated via factors such as face, physique, or age, with their sub-par characteristics picked out and the like, such that regardless of how hard they might try to overcome those physical appearances, all would be for naught.

As reasoning for kusoge status, only persuasive elements are noticeable.

Innocent Yowa-charas like myself, are persecuted simply for being weak by nature.

Unreasonably unequal. Disadvantageous to the weak.

In other words ── 『Life is a kusoge』.

This commonplace stereotyped phrase is the reality of this world.

Saying such, one might hear the following objection. 「Isn't it because you aren't properly trying your hardest at Life that you think that way?」.

However, that would be the one-sided thinking of those who have been tsuyo-charas from birth. Since they started off in an advantageous position, they fail to notice the irrationality of 『Life』. As they make use of the easy mode of a tsuyo-chara for peerlessness, they find it enjoyable and, regrettably, a.s.sume that the same applies to the rest of the world.

To sum up, that is just a niwaka-gamer's opinion. [4]

If you haven’t played very many games to the end, just leave already.

A niwaka-gamer who is only enjoying themself because they just so happened to be born a tsuyo-chara, is not qualified to talk about Life.

The consistently persevering in every game, reaching and continuously standing at the top me is the one talking here, therefore there can be no doubt.

Life is, a kusoge.

──End. j.a.pan's number one gamer, «nanas.h.i.+».

Translator Notes

[1] Shōgi: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shogi Basically j.a.panese chess. While we're on the topic, I recommend reading Ryuuou no Os.h.i.+goto!

[2] あらゆる事象の法則. Conceptually, my first thought was that it would be the "Theory of Everything", but that's 萬物の理論. If I ever find a better translation I'll edit it in.

[3]  古代から多くの鋭い哲學者たちが発想を論理で束ねて『生きる意味は何か?』という『人生のコンセプト』を考え盡くしてきたが、そんなの人それぞれ、と言われて反論できる意見なんて俺は一度だって聞いたことはない。 I'm pretty sure my TL of the last part is wrong.

[4] Niwaka-gamer: I asked a native speaker about this, and from my understanding, it means you're one of those people who only play a game because it gained a sudden surge in popularity, and will quickly stop playing it once the popularity dies out. So, not one of those experienced oldies who have been playing it quietly since the beginning. This was difficult to translate in an easily understood manner (bandwagon-gamers? I don't know), so I left the term as it was.

Monologues are much too complicated for me. Well, 0th chapter done, hopefully it was vaguely accurate. Chapter 1 is in excess of 100 pages, (about 1/3rd of the whole book) so I’ll likely need to split it up into parts.