"You want to come to mine?" she says, both of us buzzing with excitement.

Then an idea, and I smile. "No."

I look at my watch and feel my skin tingling.

"I've got a place."

It's not until we're climbing the dark narrow staircase to Dad's flat that I realise that it's probably gonna be a smelly mess. I'd only thought as far as the privacy it would give us. This was a bad idea. I'm bringing Leia to an art installation of my dad's pants and empty beer cans. What was I thinking? Calm down. If a bit of mess scares her, she's not worth it anyway.

I feel her behind me as we climb. Can't change my mind now. I start trying to come up with stories about whose place it is. Maybe it's not Dad's. Maybe it's a mate of Dad's, from work. Some grease monkey bachelor who lets me watch films at his place. Is that better?

Creepy, is what that is.

"Maybe we should go to yours," I say. Not turning round.

"Are you kidding?" says Leia. "We're here now. Come on. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Key in the door. Stomach knots.

"You OK, Skywalker?"

She's gonna run a mile.

"Fine."

Push door open. What was I thinking?

It's spotless.

Like he's hired somebody to come in and clean. It even smells fresh. The skylight's open and the light makes it feel like we're stepping into an old photograph. The bed is folded up, the carpet hoovered and the kitchen corner is gleaming. It's still tiny, but wow.

"It's perfect!" says Leia, walking in like she's viewing it to rent.

Thanks, Dad. I don't know how you knew, but thanks.

Leia drops her bag and takes off her hoodie. She's wearing a white T-shirt with a skull and crossbones on the back and no arms and I see the black of a bra strap. The dark edge of it against her skin.

"Whose is it?" She's straight down on the floor looking at the train of DVDs and videos.

"My dad's," I say, opening the fridge, and there's actual food, like steak and potato salad and coleslaw that looks homemade.

"Weird."

"What's weird?" Leia looks over.

"Nothing. You want some juice?"

She nods and I take out the full box of grape and pour two mugs.

"So he doesn't live with you then?" says Leia, as I hand her a mug and sit next to her on the sofa. It's nearly half three. Dad won't be home from work until seven at least.

"He moved out a couple years ago. I come here sometimes, to watch films." I sip the cold sweetness. Leia does the same, and we're alone, on a sofa that turns into a bed, in an attic, in the middle of the afternoon. Nice work, big man. And I didn't even plan it like that.

"It's good that you still see him," she says. "Last time I saw my mum I was four." She sips again.

"What happened?" I say, then regret it. "Sorry. None of my business."

"It's fine. She left. It happens."

"Yeah," I say.

"She was an actress, is an actress, I dunno. She lives in America somewhere."

I leave the space for her to carry on if she wants.

"My dad got her her first job, after she took time off to have me and Toby, some TV pilot thing over there he was working on. It was supposed to be her breakthrough role. We all lived in California for a year."

"No way."

Leia nods. "I was only two, Toby would've been five or six. Anyway, they make the pilot, the company likes it, says they'll make the actual show, everybody's excited, then, six months into filming, they pull the plug."

"Why?" I'm leaning forward for the story.

"God knows," says Leia. "Somebody changed their mind, I guess. We pack up and move back to England and then a couple of weeks later she leaves. Turned out she'd been having an affair with the director and he promised her a part in his new film, and boom, see you later, Mum."

"Wow, and you haven't seen her since?"

Leia shakes her head. "Nope. Guess we didn't fit into her career plans. She sent money when I turned eleven, but I made Dad send it back, so she stopped."

"Fair enough."

Leia looks at me, like that's not what she thought I would say.

And then it's quiet. Not awkward, just quiet.

Tell her about Dad's thing.

"My dad made a pilot. In America too. He was an alien."

Leia's looking at me. I smile. "He's big. It was ages ago. They made him the Big Alien. It's kinda lame."

She doesn't say anything and it's clear she's half listening, half thinking about something else. I nudge her knee. "You OK?"

"I'm fine."

"What was Michelle talking about before?"

Leia shakes her head. "This place is so quiet," she says. "No interruptions. Just like it should be."

And out of nowhere, I can feel my blood. She's sipping her juice and I'm watching her and I wanna be the mug. I wanna be the mug she's holding. I want her lips.

"Come on then," she says, and I almost choke on my juice.

"What?"

"Noah's film? Let's watch it."

"Oh, yeah, course," I say, and I get down on my knees and load the DVD then go back to the sofa. Leia takes off her All Stars and curls her feet up. Her toes are millimetres away from my left thigh and I'm fighting the urge to touch them and the TV screen goes black and this is perfect.

Marc said: Great players make things happen.

I can't move.

Noah's file is amazing. Long Time Round.

It's actually set in Birmingham. A guy called Nathan gets a place away at university, which is his dream, but he's torn about leaving because it's just his dad looking after him and his younger brother, Jonah, who's already running with a gang led by this proper bad guy called Darren. His girlfriend, Sophia, doesn't want him to leave either, but Nathan makes his decision and does go and start his course in a new city. He meets all these uni people and feels well out of place, but excited.

Back at home, under Darren's influence, Jonah gets deeper and deeper in trouble and their dad can't handle it, so Nathan has to drop out of uni to come home. The second half of the film is the build-up to Jonah doing some big job, and Nathan's inevitable showdown with Darren to stop it happening, mixed in with him trying to patch things up with Sophia.

It's all building to this big climax, but then, just when things are going OK with Sophia and Nathan is ready to properly confront Darren, some other gang guy, who we don't even know, takes Nathan out.

It's proper sad.

And it's like watching my life. I recognise it all. Not the story as such, but the details. The locations and the mood and the colours, the relationships and the way people speak to each other, make me feel like I'm actually in the film. Like my real world was on the screen. I feel like I know Noah. Like he knows me.

I feel like I just got hit in the stomach with a medicine ball.

"Wow," Leia says, as we both just stare at the end credits and listen to the slow plucking guitar soundtrack.

"You think that's based on his life?" she says.

I don't move.

"Luke, are you OK?"

That's when I realise I'm crying.

My lower jaw is shaking and I'm blowing out air to try and calm myself. Leia doesn't know where to look and I feel stupid and embarrassed, but it's all I can do to stay completely still in case I properly bawl like a baby.

Get it together.

I try to picture Noah, sitting at a computer, typing the script. Is that his life? It has to be. It was too real to be fake. It looked amazing. Like each scene was a photograph. No gimmicks, no sped-up drug scenes or slow-motion violence. It wasn't about gangs; it was about people who happen to be part of a world. It was about family and guilt and anger.

It was about love.

I wipe my eyes with the back of one hand. "Yeah, sorry. Stupid."

I look at her and try to smile. Leia's head tilts and she smiles back. Then she's on me. Straddling my lap, her knees either side of my hips, her hands on my chest. I look up at her, and my hands slide up her thighs to her waist. She's smiling, leaning forward. My hands curve round to the small of her back, her hands push into my chest, taking her weight, and we kiss, the places where our bodies are touching pressing against each other like they're hungry.

She's pulling at the back of my neck, I'm pushing her hips into mine and my hands are trying to tell her everything, to press out my whole story on to her body, to let her know me.

Then I hear Dad's laugh.

Leia bounces on to the sofa next to me as I spring up.

"What's wrong?" she says.

I look at my watch, it's only just gone five. What's he doing home?

His booming cackle climbing the stairs. Sounds like he's on the phone. I'm standing up. "It's ... he's not supposed to ... we need to ... gimme a sec."

He's outside the door. The sound of keys. Then a woman, laughing too. He's not alone? Nightmare. My body's trying to twist-up like plastic in a fire. They're both giggling. New woman? I'm looking at Leia, she's nervous and confused.

"Who is it, Luke?" She's straightening her hair, her face is flushed. Key in the door. I look at her and I freeze. Door opening, more giggling, hold on, is that ...?

Awkward times infinity.

Dad and Mum are in the doorway.

What the hell is this?

Dad forces a smile, his eyes dancing from me to Leia, then Mum, then back to me again. He's holding a bottle of something.

"What a surprise, son."

I look at Mum, she purses her lips and lifts her eyebrows. The silence is thick.

"What's going on?" I say, finally.

"Lukey," Mum goes to speak.

Dad cuts her off. "We just came here for a chat. Right, Ange? Talk things through, like. I didn't think, don't you have a class or something?"

The pair of them are squirming. Yo, they've done this before!

Then Mum takes control of the situation and steps forward, cracking the tension. "You must be Leia!" she says, stepping past me. I turn and watch her shake Leia's hand. "It's lovely to meet you, I'm Angela."

My head hurts. "How do you ...? Mum?"

Mum carries on shaking Leia's hand, but looks at me. "Your brother told me her name."

She's overdoing her smile. Leia doesn't know where to look and I watch her body trying to curl into itself. This is too much.

"I'll put the kettle on," says Dad, like we're gonna just sit and have a cup of tea together. Like this isn't some kind of freaky dream sequence.

"You've only got two mugs, Dad." He closes the door. I'm shaking my head. "I don't understand."