From time to time if I don't make myself busy, flashbacks of that rainy afternoon comes back to me.Those warm feelings that was immediately turned upside down when he suddenly left selfishly.

Just thinking about it, I unconsciously crumpled the bed as much as I could to subside the pain etched in my heart as much as I could.

"What the h.e.l.l are you doing… Where the h.e.l.l are you… This isn't what you told me about… If you really did intend to protect me… then why am I feeling this pain… why does it… why does it hurt so much? How can you do this to me if you really love me?"

With no one to talk to I can only drown in my own sadness, even though how much I try to deny it, even how much I try to turn this grief into hate, the truth doesn't change.

He's no longer here.

From time to time bad thoughts come into my mind. What if he just used Claire as an excuse for him to walk away?

What if the one he only truly loved was Claire, and I was just an extra? And that he already lost hope in her recovery and ran away.

What's going to happen to me now?

You showed me how wonderful it is to be loved, and how wonderful it is to love, even though I know you have much more affection towards my sister.

Still we were so happy.

"So why… why did you leave me so suddenly"

And tonight, my daily life after that never changed. After my facade as a queen, when I'm alone in this room I'm just an ordinary girl who have been abandoned by his man.

And for safety reasons I am also not allowed to meet my sister is in the bas.e.m.e.nt sealed by Layla Savoy's spell, to make sure her soul never totally leaves her body.

But despite all of this, I still have to move forward and confront this sadness.

I'm sure I'm not the only one suffering, as the queen of this kingdom I must not be moping here.

I mustered up the courage and wiped the tears in my eyes with my pillow.

And imagined our happiness together, the memories we had together been all that remained and what gives me strength.

But what would happen if truth confronted me, that Andrei… didn't really smiled for me?

And those memories were just fabricated by him as a make-believe?

I felt gloomy inside and threw a pillow towards the window where I can see the same moon we watched over that veranda.

Where I was able to sleep in his arms, as his hands stroked my face and my hair, and at that night where our lips met each other — a night when I was showered by his love and affection.

As it reminded me, I walked towards that veranda still in my work clothes, usually I would have preferred to wear comfortable clothes, but I don't feel like it anymore, because it would make me feel weaker, if I get out of these work clothes I'm just Michaela who is grieving over the loss of the people dear to me.

As a queen I have a duty to not worry my subjects.

However, unlike the golden armor I wore, now I wore the military uniform that was written in his doc.u.ments he left a well-made sketch, unlikely of him — so being in these clothes doesn't feel hot and stuffy than the armor I wore at all times.

It's called a pinks and greens uniform, I don't understand why it is called like that, but it was his suggestion to me so I don't have to wear the stuffy armor each and every time I sit at the throne.

It's composed of a brownish green blouse with lighter-colored trousers of a slight pinkish hue with some accessories showing my rank. The age of knights is over and to raise the morale of the soldiers of the proposed Ethareri Armed Forces that is being made into a reality by General Geraldine through the doc.u.ments left by him, I have to wear the same uniform as them.

Lost in my thoughts I finally arrived at the veranda where we saw that moon we stared at together, in this strange garden on top of the castle, where strange purple lights gather, according to father it was supposed to be fairies of some sort, but there were also other records showing it as souls, or just normal light bugs that happened to gather.

In other its uncertain where these lights came from and why they appear here at night, only the first King of Ethareri knows, but now even his portrait is blurry.

I sat at the same bench we sat together and stared at the moon as the chilly wind brushed at my face.

"Andrei… I pleaded right… not to leave me, if you were going why couldn't you take me? Now look at me… I'm a complete mess right now."

My heart that pained every day, once again produced tears as it flowed down my face as I watched the moon directly. I made myself cry again by just being here in this place.

Why did I even come here?

Noticing it, I stopped looking at the moon and wiped it with my trousers.

And just as I was finished wiping it, as if it was an illusion, I saw a silhouette of a man wearing a beat up dark mantle that fluttered at the same direction my hair was carried by the wind. I couldn't see his face due to the bandana that obscured the lower part of his face.

But… how did he find this place? This is the highest part of the castle!

Could it be an enemy? It's normal for me to think like that. However just from how he looks, I sensed something from him, for some reason my mind instinvely didn't treat him as an enemy.

It was the opposite…

My mind wanted to know who this person is.

But knowing that it was maybe my longing that the man was Andrei and that the real world is much cruel than that, I bit my lip to get out of my illusion.

That depressing-looking man is not Andrei at all.

He's no more than just an intruder.

"Who goes there!"

I shouted, and on the same time, the rays of the moon slightly pa.s.sed by his grey eyes devoid of light. In that moment I saw beads of tears s.h.i.+ne.

I stood up and faced him.

But as I stood, no one was there anymore.

Was I just seeing things because of my longing for him?

What's his deal? Why is he also crying?

Could it be a spirit that also knows what I'm feeling.

No… I'm sure I definitely saw something.

"You can hear me right?! Celeste!"

I called out to the door where I ordered Celeste to not let any maids or butlers disturb me.

I saw the maid appear to the door and bowed.

"What is it your majesty?"

"Wake up everyone and put the castle at high-level alert! There's an intruder! At the same time all maids are to guard Claire's recovery room! That's an order!"

"Yes your majesty!"

Celeste then disappeared quickly.

And then the sound of a bell ringing was heard around the palace, alerting everyone in the castle.

In the notes made by Andrei, the simple warning procedure, so that the everyone would be alerted immediately, this is something he learned from Kydus, where no one was able to inform about the emperors whereabouts, as everyone pa.s.sed on even the single alert or message through messages.

It's a warning procedure for the palace, especially in this critical times where we are building up our military based on the knowledge he left us.

I won't have the same mistake made by the previous Kydus emperor.

I readied the miniature gun that the blacksmiths exclusively made for me, something I could carry anywhere I go.

As Celeste bell was sounded, the members of the Ethareri Army, who were once called the green men, wearing the same green uniform as me but with no decorations, immediately stormed the palace and surrounded it in an orderly manner.

Compared to the past where the guns were large, the blacksmiths have made it smaller, as such the were able to make average-sized men carry it making us able to increase our range of recruitment.

The maids then used fire magic to turn on the lamps and the entire palace became busy to find the intruder.

Geraldine also came to me bring with her her own gun and three of the ten commanders she and Andrei handpicked.

The numbers of the army have risen to five divisions, with three equipped fully with guns while the other divisions focused on logistics or research divisions. With this strength we could clear more land forward as all monsters that appeared were no match for gunpowder and bullets.

One unit is also undergoing conversion to a unit that specializes on amphibious operations, but the boat for their use is still on development.

"Your Highness Celeste informed me, but can you tell me more about it?" Geraldine asked me in concern. The commanders who was with her shouted orders to their men as they occupied the palace at every corner.

"There's an intruder, I saw him. Search the entire castle. I'll allow you to search every room, except that Andrei's room"

"Yes your majesty"

She made a quick snappy salute and turned to his men.

I won't make such a careless mistake… ever.

After a while, I feel tired and sat at the bench of the veranda while being guarded by the soldiers, and after a while Geraldine came to running to me.

"Your majesty… no intruder was found but we are still currently searching, and there's a matter I think you need to attend to personally."

"Excellent work, Geraldine, what is this matter?"

I asked her as she was out of breath; I think she really has been sleeping well when she finished her report to me.

"A messenger came from Kydus your majesty"

"At this late?"

"Yes your majesty, I think it's very urgent, the messenger himself wants to meet you in person"

"Okay, lead him to the parlor immediately please keep the search and the guards until morning, we don't know what we are dealing with, that person was at this garden the highest part of the castle. I don't know what methods he used to climb here, but please be aware"

"Yes, your majesty!"

I stood up as Geraldine ordered one of her aides to speak with the messenger.

As I arrived at the parlor, the one I saw is the knight Carle from Kydus, the one Kydus entrusted with helping me find Andrei when I asked them for their help in the search.

Seeing him surprised me a bit, hoping that he has no more unpleasant news for me.