Chapter 757: Textbooks Are Lies

My dad cooked an hour ahead of time, which was a big deal compared to his previous crude, make-do efforts, as he was intent on improving his cooking skills.

Is it because Auntie Ren told you to practice your cooking skills? I believe she said sometimes she would be busy with work, so she could let Xiao Qin eat at our house.

Basically, she implied that he had to improve his cooking before she would even consider getting married. So in order to become a good husband, my dad was in the kitchen to hone his craft.

I looked into the pot and my dad was attempting to cook braised pork belly! If he can turn green beans black, how does he have the guts to challenge a dish that many professionals cant even cook well?

Ive read Loud Mouths food blog before and she talked about the braised pork belly dish before. It discussed about the differences between braised pork belly and red braised pork and it removed a lot of my prior confusion. As expected of a professional foodie, she also learned a lot of knowledge about food.

On her blog, she wrote: braised pork belly is braised with wine while red braised pork is braised with caramelized sugar. There are differences in both cooking method and ingredients, so its wrong when restaurants treat the terms braised pork belly and red braised pork as the same dish.

In terms of taste and texture, braised pork belly is juicy, soft, easy to chew, and has an unique aroma; red braised pork melts as it enters your mouth. The two dishes might look similar, but they are two completely different dishes with different cultural backgrounds.

There are so many background stories about braised pork belly, one of the more interesting one is:

When Su DongPo was the governor of Hangzhou, he did a lot of good deeds for the people, and in order to thank him, they carried pigs and wine to pay their respects to him at Chinese New Year.

Su DongPo did not want to accept the peoples gift, but felt that refusing it would disappoint them, so he accepted it. Then he asked people to cut the pork into squares and braise it in the wine which made it red, then gave it back to the people.

Everyone praised Su DongPo as a wise official and called the braised pork Dong Po Rou (aka the braised pork belly). Hangzhou restaurants also put up signs to cook and sell the braised pork belly with the main ingredients of pork and wine.

A certain imperial court official who wanted to entrap Su DongPo, found that every restaurant in Hangzhou had Dong Po Rou on their menu. So he offered those menus to the emperor and slandered Su DongPo:

Su DongPo has been taking bribes and abusing the law in Hangzhou corruption. The people all hate him and want to eat his meat, this Dong Po Rou is clear evidence of that! (Rou means meat, so the dish literally means Dong Pos meat)

The idiot emperor took a look and got angry: How dare he! Strip away Su DongPos position, then send him to Lingnan to the army.

Why would I say the emperor was an idiot? If Su DongPo was really a corrupt and evil official, do you think the restaurant owners are tired of living? Do you think they would actually dare to openly sell Dong Po Rou? In North Korea, when Kim Jong-il died, foreigners werent allowed on the train if they didnt cry. If any North Koreans dared to laugh in public, they would have been dragged to the execution grounds and shot to death.

However, Su DongPo was also open-minded. According to my dad, after Su DongPo was sent to the south, he made a famous poem: I am willing to be a Lingnan person the rest of my life with three hundred lychees every day and night.

If you think about it, that means Su DongPo is also a foodie! He doesnt even care where he was sent as long as he had good food to eat.

The thin image of Su DongPo portrayed in textbooks are all lies, since youre probably a fatty! You would eat the food of wherever you get relegated to, so you must have gained a lot of weight.

My dad has actually investigated it once when he was bored. In one of the poems from the Song dynasty, there was evidence that stated that during one of Su DongPos visit to the red-light district, he collapsed a bed after sitting on it, so he probably wasnt a lightweight.

After talking about one of the possible background stories for braised pork belly for such a long time, we should also talk a bit about red braised pork.

As for the backstory for red braised pork, well, Mao ZeDong likes to eat it.

Thats it.

So my dad could have cooked anything, but why did he have to challenge braised pork belly? He wasnt able to control his portions and ended up pouring a whole bottle of yellow wine into the pot. The alcohol vapors evaporated and moved out the window. What if a pa.s.sing pigeon got drunk off the fumes, pa.s.sed out, then died from the fall, wouldnt that be a sin?

d.a.m.n, now hes using sugar to mellow it out because he added too much wine. Do you think youre doing a chemistry experiment? The smell wafting out of the kitchen reminded me of tanghulu for some reason

No, my dad has no talent in cooking. If he doesnt follow a recipe exactly, he will transform from a apprentice chef LV1 into a dark cuisine chef LV1. Now the meals my dad cooks will be even more difficult to eat.

As I was concerned about it, I received a text from the cla.s.s leader. It was a very normal greeting, but it showed her concern and care:

Are you doing well? Make sure to eat less salt and sugar or it might be bad for your heart.

I suddenly had a great idea and immediately called the cla.s.s leader. When the cla.s.s leader picked up, I immediately asked:

Cla.s.s leader, can you come over tomorrow to teach my dad how to cook?

Huh, you want me to teach Uncle Ye? The cla.s.s leader hesitated a bit, I dont think Uncle Ye needs me to teach him

Why not? I looked at the smoke coming out of the kitchen and frowned, My dad has been trying to improve his cooking skills lately, but he went down the wrong path. His food tastes worse and worse and hes been using a lot of salt, sugar, and wine. If no one teaches him, Im afraid I can only eat these types of dishes from now on.

How, how can he use wine? The cla.s.s leader became worried, People with heart problems cant have alcohol. Uncle Ye cant add alcohol simply because he likes it

My heart problems arent exactly the same as other peoples heart problems. According to Dr. Yu and his brother, drinking a bit of alcohol might actually be beneficial or it could even cure me.

However, thats only a hypothetical result that hasnt yet been verified with clinical trials. I wont tell the cla.s.s leader yet, but wait until its tested on mice and see how it goes.

Is Uncle Ye really willing to learn from me? The cla.s.s leaders tone softened when she heard my dad was making unhealthy dishes, If he doesnt find it embarra.s.sing to learn how to cook from his sons cla.s.smate, then I can drop by tomorrow at lunch. Xiao Zhe will be out tomorrow anyway and he wont be eating lunch at home

Dont worry, my dad has already been scolded by you twice, so why would he still try to act with the dignity of an elder.

Also, its pretty suspicious Shu Zhe hasnt been home a lot lately. Did Uncle Fireball buy an expensive gift to seduce his nephew and rape his a.s.s? Other than Uncle Fireball, Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding also have their eyes on Shu Zhe!

However, I cant really stop Shu Zhes transformation into a trap. As Xiao Hong, he has both Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding guarding him along with Uncle Fireball keeping an eye on him. He even maybe has the peaked cap, Tang Jiang, as backup.

We can only take it one step at a time. I should comfort the cla.s.s leader since shes disappointed from her brother being gone all the time now.

Cla.s.s leader, dont worry, my dad will be very happy to have you teach him. Tell me if you need any ingredients in advance and Ill buy it for you.

Ye Lin, youre not well right now, so you dont have to do anything. Ill buy what I need myself when I come over.

The cla.s.s leader paused slightly for some reason, then asked as if she was a bit embarra.s.sed, Is there anything else Uncle Ye likes besides wine?

Huh, what does she mean? Is she planning to buy a gift when she comes over and meets my dad? Didnt they already meet?

Wait, now that I think about it, I dont think the cla.s.s leader has been to my home yet! Ive been to her home many times, but shes never been to mines. The last time she did a family visit with my dad was at the hotel, so tomorrow would be her first time coming over.

Since its her first time, does she to be more cautious and courteous? Why does it feel like shes in a relations.h.i.+p and its her first time meeting her partners family?

You were the one who deleted the confession text message, but now you want to leave a good impression on my dad? Its too late! The first time was when you scolded my dad for letting his son run an adults good store. The second time was when you scolded my dad for trying to cause more trouble for the search and rescue teams in the mountains

Youve already scolded him twice, do you think you can give him a good impression if you bring a bag of oranges? In my dads mind, he already thinks of you as someone who loves to lecture other people.

Please dont bring gifts. I said to the cla.s.s leader, If you can come and teach my dad how to cook, youve already done us a huge favor, and Auntie Ren will thank you later.

Thats true. The cla.s.s leader did not promise to not bring a gift, but continued along the topic of Auntie Ren, Xiao Qins mom works late every day, so someone should really cook for her. Its the right decision for Uncle Ye to learn to cook

I suddenly connected her words to the cla.s.s leaders future aspiration to become a police officer. Their jobs arent any less busy than Auntie Rens job, so I blurted out:

Cla.s.s leader, when you become a police officer and become too busy with no time to cook, will you also find a husband who can cook?

Probably because I was a patient, the cla.s.s leader did not get angry at my joke, but only calmly replied:

You dont have to worry about that. I will be at your home at 10 tomorrow. When Im teaching Uncle Ye how to cook, if youre curious, you can also watch from the side

Wait. I caught the meaning in the cla.s.s leaders words, You mean, you want me to learn along, so if my cooking skills improve, it would also be good for you in the future?

Wh-, what are you talking about? The cla.s.s leader rebuked me, then her tone became a little sad.

You have a bad heart, so you dont have to learn, just wait to eat