Kenji barks out a laugh.

"I've never seen him in sweatpants before." I try to sound normal. "I've never even seen him in shorts."

Kenji raises an eyebrow at me. "I bet you've seen him in less."

I want to die.

Kenji and I are supposed to spend this next month training. That's the plan. I need to train enough to fight and use my strength without being overpowered ever again. This isn't the kind of situation we can go into without absolute confidence, and since I'm supposed to be leading the mission, I still have a lot of work to do. I need to be able to access my energy in an instant, and I need to be able to moderate the amount of power I exert at any given time. In other words: I need to achieve absolute mastery over my ability.

Kenji is also training in his own way; he wants to perfect his skill in projecting; he wants to be able to do it without having to make direct contact with another person. But he and I are the only ones who have any real work to do. Castle has been in control of himself for decades now, and everyone else has fairly straightforward skills that they've very naturally adapted to. In my case, I have seventeen years of psychological trauma to undo.

I need to break down these self-made walls.

Today, Kenji's starting small. He wants me to move a dumbbell across the room through sheer force of will. But all I've managed to do was make it twitch. And I'm not even sure that was me.

"You're not focusing," Kenji says to me. "You need to connecta"find your core and pull from within," he's saying. "You have to, like, literally pull it out of yourself and then push it out around you, J. It's only difficult in the beginning," he says, "because your body is so used to containing the energy. In your case it's going to be even harder, because you've spent your whole life bottling it up. You have to give yourself permission to let it go. Let down your guard. Find it. Harness it. Release it."

He gives me the same speech, over and over again.

And I keep trying, over and over again.

I count to three.

I close my eyes and try to really, truly focus this time. I listen to the sudden urge to lift my arms, planting my feet firmly on the floor. I blow out a breath. Squeeze my eyes shut tighter. I feel the energy surging up, through my bones, my blood, raging and rising until it culminates into a mass so potent I can no longer contain it. I know it needs release, and needs it now.

But how?

Before, I always thought I needed to touch something to let the power out.

It never occurred to me to throw the energy into a stationary object. I thought my hands were the final destination; I never considered using them as a transmitter, as a medium for the energy to pass through. But I'm just now realizing that I can try to push it out through my handsa"through my skin. And maybe, if I'm strong enough, I might be able to learn to manipulate the power in midair, forcing it to move whichever way I want.

My sudden realization gives me a renewed burst of confidence. I'm excited now, eager to see if my theory is correct. I steel myself, feeling the rush of power flood through me again. My shoulders tense as the energy coats my hands, my wrists, my forearms. It feels so warm, so intense, almost like it's a tangible thing; the kind of power that could tangle in my fingers.

I curl my fists.

Pull back my arms.

And then fling them forward, opening my hands at the same time.

Silence.

I squint one eye open, sneaking a look at the dumbbell still sitting in the same spot.

Sigh.

"GET DOWN," Kenji shouts, yanking me backward and shoving me face-first onto the floor.

I can hear everyone shouting and thudding to the ground around us. I crane my neck up only to see that they've all got their hands over their heads, faces covered; I try to look around.

Panic seizes me by the throat.

The rock wall is fissuring into what might be a hundred pieces, creaking and groaning as it falls apart. I watch, horrified, as one huge, jagged chunk trembles just before unhinging from the wall.

Warner is standing underneath.

I'm about to scream before I see him look up, both hands outstretched toward the chaos. Immediately, the wall stops shaking. The pieces hover, trembling only slightly, caught between falling and fitting back into place.

My mouth is still open.

Warner looks to his right. Nods.

I follow his line of sight and see Castle on the other side, using his power to hold up the other end. Together they control the pieces as they fall to the floor, allowing them to float down, settling each broken slab and each jagged bit gently against what remains of the wall.

Everyone begins to pop their heads up, realizing something has changed. We slowly get to our feet, and watch, dumbstruck, as Castle and Warner contain the disaster and confine it to one space. Nothing else is damaged. No one is hurt. I'm still looking on, eyes wide with awe.

When the work is finally done, Warner and Castle share a brief moment of acknowledgment before they head in opposite directions.

Warner comes to find me. Castle to everyone else.

"Are you okay?" Warner asks. His tone is businesslike, but his eyes give him away. "You're not injured?"

I shake my head. "That was incredible."

"I can't take any credit for it," he says. "It was Castle's power I borrowed."

"But you're so good at it," I tell him, forgetting for a moment that we're supposed to be mad at each other. "You just learned you have this ability, and you can already control it. So naturally. But then when I try to do something, I nearly kill everyone in the process." I drop my head. "I'm the worst at everything," I mutter. "The worst."

"Don't feel bad," he says quietly. "You'll figure it out."

"Was it ever hard for you?" I look up, hopeful. "Figuring out how to control the energy?"

"Oh," he says, surprised. "No. Though I've always been very good at everything I do."

I drop my head again. Sigh.

Warner laughs and I peek up.

He's smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing," he whispers.

I hear a sharp whistle. Spin around.

"Heya"jazz hands!" Kenji barks. "Get your ass back over here." He makes it a point to look as irritated as possible. "Back to work. And this time, focus. You're not an ape. Don't just throw your shit everywhere."

Warner actually laughs.

Out loud.

I look back at him, and he's looking toward the wall, trying to suppress a wide smile as he runs a hand through his hair, down the back of his neck.

"At least someone appreciates my sense of humor," Kenji says before tugging at my arm. "Come on, princess. Let's try that again. And please, try not to kill everyone in this room."

THIRTY-NINE.

We've been practicing all week.

I'm so exhausted I can't even stand up anymore, but I've made more progress than I ever could've hoped for. Kenji is still working with me directly, and Castle is overseeing my progress, but everyone else spends time training on all the various machines.

Winston and Brendan seem to be in better spirits every daya"they look healthier, liveliera"and the gash on Brendan's face is starting to fade. I'm so happy to see their progress, and doubly thrilled Delalieu was able to find the right medicines for them.

The two of them spend most days eating and sleeping and jumping from the bikes to the treadmill. Lily has been messing around with a little of everything, and today she's exercising with the medicine balls in the corner. Ian has been lifting weights and looking after Castle, and Alia has spent all week sitting in the corner, sketching things in a notepad. She seems happier, more settled. And I can't help but wonder if Adam and James are okay, too. I hope they're safe.

Warner is always gone during the day.

Every once in a while I glance at the elevator doors, secretly hoping they'll open and deposit him back inside this room. Sometimes he stops by for a bita"jumps on the bike or goes for a quick runa"but mostly he's gone.

I only really see him in the mornings for his early workout, and in the evenings when he does another round of cardio. The end of the night is my favorite part of the day. It's when all nine of us sit down and talk about our progress. Winston and Brendan are healing, I'm getting stronger, and Warner lets us know if there've been any new developments from the civilians, the soldiers, or The Reestablishmenta"so far, everything is still quiet.

And then Warner and I go back up to his quarters, where we shower and head to separate rooms. I sleep on his bed. He sleeps on the couch in his office.

Every night I tell myself I'll be brave enough to knock on his door, but I never have.

I still don't know what to say.

Kenji tugs on my hair.

"Owa"" I jerk back, scowling. "What's wrong with you?"

"You've been hit extra hard with the stupid stick today."

"What? I thought you said I was doing okaya""

"You are. But you're distracted. You keep staring at the elevator like it's about to grant you three wishes."

"Oh," I say. I look away. "Well. Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he sighs. Frowns a little. "What the hell is going on between you guys, anyway? Do I even want to know?"

I sigh. Flop onto the mats. "I have no idea, Kenji. He's hot and cold." I shrug. "I guess it's fine. I just need a little space for now."

"But you like him?" Kenji raises an eyebrow.

I say nothing. Feel my face warm.

Kenji rolls his eyes. "You know, I really never would've thought Warner could make you happy."

"Do I look happy?" I counter.

"Good point." He sighs. "I just mean that you always seemed so happy with Kent. This is a little hard for me to process." He hesitates. Rubs his forehead. "Well. Actually, you were a hell of a lot weirder when you were with Kent. Super whiny. And so dramatic. And you cried. All. The. Damn. Time." He screws up his face. "Jesus. I can't decide which one of them is worse."

"You think I'm dramatic?" I ask him, eyes wide. "Do you even know yourself at all?"

"I am not dramatic, okay? My presence just commands a certain kind of attentiona""

I snort.

"Hey," he says, pointing at my face. "I am just saying that I don't know what to believe anymore. I've already been on this merry-go-round. First Adam. Now Warner. Next week you're going to try and hook up with me."

"You really wish that were true, don't you?"

"Whatever," he says, looking away. "I don't even like you."

"You think I'm pretty."

"I think you're delusional."

"I don't even know what this is, Kenji." I meet his eyes. "That's the problem. I don't know how to explain it, and I'm not sure I understand the depth of it yet. All I know is that whatever this is, I never felt it with Adam."

Kenji's eyes pull together, surprised and scared. He says nothing for a second. Blows out a breath. "Seriously?"

I nod.

"Seriously, seriously?"

"Yeah," I say. "I feel so . . . light. Like I could just . . . I don't know . . ." I trail off. "It's like I feel like, for the first time in my life, I'm going to be okay. Like I'm going to be strong."

"But that sounds like it's just you," he says. "That has nothing to do with Warner."

"That's true," I tell him. "But sometimes people can weigh us down, too. And I know Adam didn't mean to, but he was weighing me down. We were two sad people stuck together."

"Huh." Kenji leans back on his hands.

"Being with Adam was always overshadowed by some kind of pain or difficulty," I explain, "and Adam was always so serious. He was intense in a way that exhausted me sometimes. We were always hiding, or sneaking around, or on the run, and we never found enough uninterrupted moments to be together. It was almost like the universe was trying to tell me I was trying too hard to make things work with him."

"Kent wasn't that bad, J." Kenji frowns. "You're not giving him enough credit. He's been acting kind of dickish lately, but he's a good guy. You know he is. Shit is just really rough for him right now."

"I know," I sigh, feeling sad, somehow. "But this world is still falling apart. Even if we win this war, everything is going to get much, much worse before it gets better." I pause. Stare into my hands. "And I think people become who they really are when things get rough. I've seen it firsthand. With myself, my parents, with society, even. And yeah, Adam is a good guy. He really is. But just because he's a good guy doesn't make him the right guy for me."

I look up.