I love that. I love him.

I eat all of the cakes he pa.s.ses my way, and Gail gets up to go 'enjoy' more of Vaza's music-or maybe to ask him to stop. I put my head on Bek's shoulder and sigh.

"Tired?" he asks.

It does feel like it's been a long day. I'm not...quite tired, though. I feel both wired and exhausted at once. There are so many people here that I just want to get away, but...I also want to spend more time with Bek.

He leans in, brus.h.i.+ng my hair back behind my ear, and whispers in my ear. "Want to go look at the stars? Alone?"

"More than anything," I whisper.

He gets to his feet and offers me his hand, and I take it. By the fire, Kate and Summer are talking about some TV show, their voices high-pitched with excitement, and the group roars with laughter at something. I pay no attention. My hand is in Bek's, and we're going to look at the stars.

15.

ELLY.

We lay out blankets in our new hut and lie back, gazing up at the stars. We have no roof yet. Bek tells me that he will work with Hemalo tomorrow to ensure it is put on very soon. A privacy screen hangs in front of our door, and even though our house is open at the top, we're alone and no one will bother us. Tonight the weather is clear, though, so we are merely a little chilly. I press closer to Bek under the blankets, stealing his warmth. From the bottom of the gorge, there's not much sky available, but there's a sliver along the edge of the cliffs that shows me enough stars to keep me happy. I know they're there, and that's enough.

I play with Bek's fingers as we cuddle, thoughtful. For all that my mate is not as smiley or full of laughter as some of the other men in the tribe, it's clear that he's loved. He's a good person and a hard worker. I think of all the children that came up to him over the course of the day, wanting to say h.e.l.lo, or to play, and how he gave them all attention as if they were just as important as any adult. For some reason, I've not given much thought to children, but of course there will be kids. Resonance means babies.

And Bek and I resonated. That means we should have babies. But...so far we haven't had actual s.e.x. If you'd have asked me when I first landed here if I wanted to have s.e.x with Bek, I'd have been appalled at the thought. In the past, s.e.x has always meant a lack of choices, of dominance over the partner, of something a girl is forced into. But so much has changed between then and now. I trust Bek...and I love it when he touches me.

He doesn't want to rush me, but I'm not scared. Given time, I think I can get used to the village, and I love being here in the outdoors.

More than anything, I love being with Bek.

My mate nuzzles my hair. "You are thoughtful."

"Because I'm quiet? I'm always quiet."

"Because you normally gaze up at the stars and make happy little sighs." He presses his mouth to my hair again. "Tonight you just toy with my fingers. What is it you think about?"

He knows me well. "The tribe."

His body tenses a little against mine. "Are you unhappy?"

"I'm happy." I think about Gail and how happy she seems. She likes Vaza and likes the attention he gives her, and she loves children. There are tons of children in the tribe, and someone is always needing an extra hand. Summer and Kate have become good friends and seem to be blending in well with the tribe, and at the big gathering, Brooke had been surrounded by the little girls of the tribe who wanted their hair braided. Everyone seems to be finding their place, even if it's something as small as braiding hair. Even though we didn't choose to come here, this is a much better place than we were in. "I'm glad the other girls seem to be adjusting well." I would feel weird if I was the only happy one and the others were miserable.

Bek grunts acknowledgment. "No other resonances, though."

"Maybe they're on birth control. Maybe they're like Gail and can't have more children." I stroke his chest, letting my hand trail down the muscular lines of his flat stomach. "It doesn't matter as long as they're happy."

"Mm. I would like others to have a chance to resonate, though. It does not feel right for me to have everything I want and for them to wait."

"You can't control everything," I tell him, amused at the thought. My Bek wants families for his friends as fiercely as he wants them for himself. That's sweet. "Though I like hearing you have everything you want."

He hugs me closer, and I can hear his khui purring. "Is it not obvious?"

I sit up, gazing down at him. "You want children, though, don't you? So you don't have everything yet."

Bek strokes a hand down my arm, the content expression remaining on his face. "Of course I want kits. But I am content to wait until you are ready to fulfill resonance."

"And how much longer is that? How long can we go?" Already I feel like my cootie gets louder and more insistent every day. Even now, I can hear the thrum of his so urgently that I wonder it isn't shaking his entire body with the force of its song.

He looks thoughtful. "Jo-see and Haeden managed to last a turn of the moon...but they were separated for much of it."

An entire month? The thought seems awful. It's already been weeks and I feel needy and restless, and touching is starting to become less effective. I slide down against him again, my hand on his chest, over his heart. "What if we fulfill it tonight?"

He goes still. "You are ready for that?"

"I don't know if I am or not," I admit honestly. "But I trust you, and I love you, and I ache as much as you do." My hand moves lower, caressing the plates that run along his chest and disappear around his belly b.u.t.ton. "And I love it when you touch me. So I think resonance won't be a bad thing."

"There will be kits," he tells me, and puts a hand on my belly. "You have never said how you feel about that."

"It's not something I've ever considered." I put my hand over his. "For so long, I was a slave, and I couldn't think further than the next day or I'd go crazy. It was about surviving, no more than that." I smile at him, loving his brave, strong face. "But I'm starting to think ahead. Slowly. And I think you would be a good father."

There's a look of pure joy on his face that tells me that I'm right. He's going to be a fantastic father, and I'm going to love every moment of watching him with our child.

His arms go around my waist, and he pulls me against him. "Then you wish to do this?"

I pull back and study him, pretending to think about it. Pretending like my cootie's not singing a mile a minute and I'm not hot with need. Pretending like I haven't wanted to rip his leather loincloth off of him for the last few hours. Truth is, I'm a little anxious about going all the way, but there's no one else I'd want to touch me, ever. And I love Bek. I love his caresses and his kisses and when he puts his mouth on my most sensitive spots. Just thinking about it makes my nipples harden. I let my fingers trail over his shoulders, down the center of his chest, and then farther down, to his belly b.u.t.ton. I can see his breathing quicken as my fingers go lower and I tug at the ties of his loincloth. "I want you," I tell him. "I want you, and I want this. I don't want to be scared of anything that happens between us."

Bek slides one hand up my arm and then sits up. He cups my face in his hands and kisses me. "Never be afraid of anything we have together, my mate. I would never hurt you."

I know that. I'm not afraid of him. I'm more...afraid of the unknown, just like I was with touching myself.

Of course, that turned out amazing.

It's time to stop being afraid. So I grab him by the mane and pull his face to mine, kissing him with all the bottled-up pa.s.sion of weeks without fulfilling resonance.

He hesitates, but only for a moment. Then he's grabbing me and pulling me under him, his weight pressing over me as we continue to kiss and roll about in the furs. There's no fear in me, only eagerness and excitement. I want this. I want him. I'm gasping between kisses as his tongue strokes mine, promise in every slick movement. Those ridges along his tongue rub in a delicious way, and I remember what it's like when he uses them on me...lower. A little moan escapes my throat.

"My mate," Bek groans, pressing hot little kisses to my jaw and then to my throat. "You have no idea how long I have wanted this." He begins to kiss lower, his mouth moving to my collarbones.

And even though I want to be brave and enjoy this, I start to get nervous. I remember all the terrible things I'd seen back in the slave cages, the eyes that looked at me with l.u.s.t even when I was young or very dirty, and the fear I had. It makes me stiffen a little, makes my enthusiasm die a bit. I don't want to think about this stuff. I don't. But I can't help it.

Bek senses my mood change and sits up, giving me a concerned look. "Ell-ee?"

"I'm sorry," I say quickly. "I'm fine." And I put my arms around his neck.

His expression grows angry, and his hand goes to my chin. He forces me to look him in the eye. "Apologizing, are we?"

I am. Ugh. "I want you. I do. My brain is just...going to bad places." I feel frustrated and unhappy at the thought. I want to enjoy this. I love Bek. We've kissed and cuddled so many times in the past. Why won't my brain play along?

"Look at me," he murmurs, voice hot and calm and somehow soothing. I look at him, even though it feels hard, like I'm disappointing him. But his gaze is steady and firm, and the hand on my chin is unyielding. "Am I safe?"

I lick my dry lips. "Safe," I whisper, agreeing. And I feel a little better the moment the word leaves my mouth. Just saying it aloud confirms it. This is Bek. He's safe.

"Do you trust me to give you pleasure?"

I can't help but squirm a little at that. The intense look on his face is making me feel breathless with both nerves and antic.i.p.ation. "Yes."

He takes my hand in his and kisses my palm, his lips gently brus.h.i.+ng over the soft skin. "Then give yourself over to me. Trust me to pleasure you." At my little nod, he takes my hand and places it atop my head, on my pillow. "Do not move that from there."

Keep my hand above my head? I frown a little at how odd it seems. But when he takes my free hand and places it next to the other, I realize what he's doing. He's giving me something to hold on to and at the same time taking the control from my hands. If I'm clutching my pillow, I'm lying back and letting him pleasure me.

The thought is both erotic and a little intimidating.

"Can I touch you?" I whisper. I love the feel of his skin against mine.

"Next time," he says, and begins to pull apart the laces on my tunic. "There will be many times in the future, my sweet mate. But this time, I am going to do everything, and you are going to simply enjoy."

I squirm, clutching at my pillow. "C-can I help you take my clothes off?"

"No. This gives me pleasure." His voice is so firm and authoritative that it makes me feel all hot and breathless. I watch as his big fingers move down the laces, loosening them until the neck of my tunic is completely open. He tugs the laces off and then tosses them aside and gently peels apart the sides of my tunic. I'm reminded of the last time he went down on me, when he very gently-and very intently-parted my folds and then moved in to lick me. Maybe it's because I'm imagining that, but I'm panting by the time he leans in and lightly kisses the tip of one breast and then the other.

And oh G.o.d, do my nipples ache for more.

"My sweet, sweet mate," he tells me again, voice a low, husky rasp. "Look at your perfect little teats. Your beautiful soft skin. I want to lick every inch of you."

I tremble at his words, because he has licked every inch of me, but I still love the thought of him doing it all over again.

He strokes a thumb over my nipple, rubbing back and forth until the already-stiff peak is so tight and aching I can scarcely breathe. My skin p.r.i.c.kles with awareness, and when his hand moves to the other breast, I'm practically pus.h.i.+ng it into his grip. My fingers dig into the pillow under my head as he lowers his mouth to one breast and teases the other with his hand. The sound that escapes me is a choked, breathless gasp, and my cootie feels as if it's on fire, it's vibrating so strong. It's like I have an earthquake in my chest, and the constant s.h.i.+ver of it is just adding to the arousal I feel in my tight nipples.

I watch breathlessly as his tongue swirls over one tip, and then he nips it gently with his teeth.

I can't bite back the moan that rises in my throat, and I release the pillow to grab at the proud arch of his horns.

"No," he murmurs in that firm voice that makes me wet, and guides my hands back to the pillow. "These stay there. Trust me."

"Safe," I whisper, agreeing. I'm giving myself over to him, and it makes me feel vulnerable and open. Even when I was a slave, there was a part of myself that I always kept locked away behind my silences. With Bek, there's nothing to hide any longer.

He laps at my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, teasing them for a bit longer, until I'm shuddering and making small cries. He cups them again, teasing the tips, and then begins to kiss lower on my belly. "Look up at the stars, my mate," he tells me in a delicious voice. "Watch them as I give you pleasure."

I moan again and force myself to tilt my head back, to watch them instead of him. High above the four stone walls of the hut, the gorge walls rise. Beyond them, the hills that frame the valley. And higher up, the stars. It's a slice of night high above, midnight peppered with greens and reds of distant star systems, sprinkled with the diamond lights of a hundred thousand stars. It's so beautiful, so freeing.

So...distracting. Because now he's untying the lacings on my leggings and tugging them down my hips, and I want to watch, want to see his tongue dip down to lick my folds, to see him bury his face in my warmth and lick me until I'm screaming.

And instead, I'm staring up at the stars.

"Such soft skin," my mate murmurs as he nips at my hip. "But you are still far too thin, my mate. I'm going to stuff you with food until you're plump and pink and rounded."

I giggle at the image. "I don't know if you want me round as a barrel."

He tugs the leathers off my legs, and then I'm naked from the waist down. "I want you round or thin. I want you dirty or clean. I want you every possible way imaginable, my Ell-ee. In my eyes, you are the most desirable thing I have ever seen."

Bek's words take my breath away, as does the gentle kiss he then presses on the inside of my thigh. I whimper and clutch at my pillow as he begins to kiss higher and rests my calf over one shoulder, a big hand bracing my hip. Oh, I know what's coming next. And oh G.o.d, I like it so, so much.

I'm moaning my excitement as he continues to kiss his way to the apex of my thighs. By the time he spreads my folds apart, I'm so full of pent-up antic.i.p.ation that I practically explode when I feel his breath on me. But his mouth only hovers. "Are you wet for me?" he asks, and I can feel each word on my sensitive flesh. "Or do I need to lick you until your c.u.n.t is so juicy it will coat my c.o.c.k when I rub it against you?"

I just bite down harder on the pillow, not trusting that I'll be able to make coherent words at the moment.

He chuckles. "I think I shall find out for myself." And with that, he gives me the first lick. Oh G.o.d, his tongue, those ridges, his heat...I'm lost. I pull the pillow to my face and bite down on it to m.u.f.fle my cries as he begins to drag his tongue over me just the way I like, slow and steady. We've done this several times since we've started touching each other, but it never gets old. Never, never. In fact, it might get better with each time, because I know what to expect when his tongue flicks over my c.l.i.t, or when he pushes a finger deep inside me. The antic.i.p.ation only adds to the pleasure, and within a matter of minutes, I'm panting and straining, desperate for more.

Bek groans then licks me again. "Never have I tasted anything better. I am addicted to your c.u.n.t, Ell-ee. To these pink folds and the sweetness you make for me. You are so wet." His finger slides in and out of me, pumping, and I can hear just how wet I am. And instead of making me embarra.s.sed, it makes me even more turned on. "My c.o.c.k aches to be inside you, to fill you up."

I whimper. "Want that, too."

"Come for me," he commands me. "Then I'll take you and make you mine."

I want to. I hold the pillow tight as he licks me again, his tongue circling against my c.l.i.t. Did I think my cootie was loud before? It's nothing compared to the noises it's making now-or maybe that's me. It's hard to tell at this point. All I know is that I'm lost, and Bek's tongue is my only anchor to sanity...and the very thing that's driving me to insanity.

Then, like the snap of a rubber band, I'm coming. Everything in my body tenses, and I gasp, feeling myself clench around the finger he has deep inside me. Pleasure unfurls through my body, and it's the most wonderful, delicious thing. I'm falling, falling, falling, but Bek will catch me. I ride the sensual waves as they roll over me, and when I finally come back to myself, I'm breathless, boneless, and so content.

My Bek moves over me, and then he's kissing me so sweetly, his tongue sliding against my lips, and I can taste myself on him. It gives me a little thrill deep inside me, and I release the pillow I've been twisting to pieces and hold him close. His hand goes to my hips, and then he s.h.i.+fts his weight until he's on top of me, his c.o.c.k cradled against the apex of my thighs.

"My mate," he whispers, then rubs his nose against mine. "How do you feel?"

"Good," I tell him shyly. Any fear I had is gone, completely licked away by his magic tongue. I give him another kiss and then moan when he takes his c.o.c.k in hand and rubs it up and down my folds. Then he positions himself at the entrance to my core and leans in to kiss me again. I cling to him, greedy for more, when he pushes himself slowly into me.

I gasp against his mouth, because everything feels different. It's tight and strange and wonderful all at once. He feels incredibly large against me-inside me-but I trust Bek.

"Tell me if this pains you," he tells me, voice raspy with tension. "I go as slowly as I can."

"I'm fine." And I am. It does feel tight and slightly uncomfortable, but I love the intense look that's come over his face, the possessiveness I see in his eyes. I'm loving being possessed by him. So I stroke my hand up and down his arm and make soft, encouraging noises. If this is what he needs to come, I want to give it to him. I've already had my pleasure.

He pushes all the way in, and I can't resist a slight whimper of discomfort. He freezes over me then caresses my cheek.

"My mate. I am sorry." Bek sounds upset.

"What is this, apologies?" I tease him, my voice a little tight. It feels...well, it feels like I'm being invaded, and I'm not entirely sure I like it. My cootie does, though-it's going at full tilt.

"Relax," he tells me, still stroking my cheek and gazing down at me. "We will not move until you are ready."

I nod and touch his arm, feeling the flick of his tail move back and forth. He's pressed so deeply into me that the sensation stops feeling invasive and begins to feel...fascinating. The hollow aching need I normally feel when aroused is gone, and I kind of love the weight of his big body over me. It makes me feel small and protected, and I'm enveloped in his warmth and his scent. I sigh happily after a moment. I like this.