Chapter 64 - She was Quite the Weirdo

A stuffed cat getting down on a dogeza in front of you I wonder whats happening, it was supposed to be the scene where I would cry in sorrow after losing some of my money, but it feels like Im being made fun of, especially since shes in a costume.

[Errr, please raise your head. For the time being, could you please show me what products you have]

[Ah, but before that, do you mind?]

[Eh?]

[Would you stop talking to me like were equals? You see, Im a clerk while youre the customer, so if the customer uses honorifics, it feels like my super sales talk would explode.]

[..]

If its going to explode under such limited conditions, I dont think you could call that super at all. Also, that half-baked way of talking, youre calling that honorifics? No, Im also not that good at speaking to others with honorifics, but I can say with certainty that theres something different from her belief.

But well, no matter how you look at her, shes clearly a weirdo, so I would prefer if I keep my distance by speaking to her with honorifics but I guess its more important if we finish speaking with each other so that I can get out of here as soon as possible.

[Alright. This will do, right?]

[Thats okay~. I can see a want-to-go-home-as-soon-as-possible aura but Im a merchant, so its my duty to release your want-to-buy aura!]

Suddenly looking energized, the shopkeeper in a costume vigorously stood up.

How should I say this Its just that this stuffed costume of her is ruining everything in all kinds of ways Seriously, what the heck is with this person

[Hwwaahh!? This blazing gaze! I see So thats how it is huh That pa.s.sionate gaze of yours must mean that youre interested in me!!!]

[Huh?]

[I understand. I can understand why In front of the beautiful me, it cant be helped if one opens up their eyes and awakens their inner hot, burning, seething manly desires!]

[]

What the heck is this person talking about now? I feel like I cant even keep a straight face in front of her now.

Shes probably making a really smug smile inside that stuffed costume of hers, but I can only see it as a pervert wearing a stuffed costume, a self-proclaimed beauty with a disgusting behavior.

However, without caring about my reaction, the shopkeeper continued to speak.

[Alright! Then, as a merchant, lets settle it this way. You buy three products of mine, and Ill tell you my three sizes!]

[No thanks.]

[An immediate reply!? C- Cant you at least look embarra.s.sed or something like that!?]

Unfortunately, I dont find your proposal appealing at all.

She would definitely only tell me the three sizes of that stuffed animal shes wearing, right? Shed probably just say 100, 100, 100 or something like that

[T- Then, how about this!? You buy five products of mine, and Ill have dinner with you, your treat!]

[Please excuse me from that.]

[A denial that sounds like begging!?]

Dinner with a pervert in a costume is just a punishment game. Also, even if shes trying to nonchalantly tell us that shes allowing us to buy her a meal, its probably just because she wants us to buy her a meal!!!

However, if you were to tell such a dangerous-looking pervert the reason straight away, you wouldnt know what shell do, so Ill be as indirect as possible

[I mean, having dinner with someone whose name I dont even know]

[Ah, come to think of it, we havent introduced ourselves yet! As expected, everyone would be bothered not knowing the name of this pretty, beautiful me!]

[No, not really.]

[As for me, lets see You can just call me Alice, the beauty wrapped in mystery!]

[You sure you dont want me to call you the Ches.h.i.+re Cat instead?]

[Who the heck is the cat!? For a beauty like me to be treated like a cat, what are you trying to say?]

[.]

Haha, this guys amazing. One amazing pain in the a.s.s.

Honestly, this might be the first time. The first time I felt like punching someone I just met

Also, doesnt she know about the fairy tales on Earth? I guess not everything is pa.s.sed down by the previous people who held the role of Hero.

[A- Arehh? It kinda feels like someone is looking like they want to kill me T- That gaze must be that, right? Just gazes of embarra.s.sment?]

[My name is Miyama Kaito, nice to meet you Also, can I punch you once?]

[It sounds like theres something frightening added to your self-introduction though!? I- I can call you Kaito-san, right~? Well~ Your cool face really suits your fantastic name, just gazing at you makes my heart skip a beat Thats why, umm, errr, please put those clenched fists of yours away]

It seems like my fists were clenched before I knew it, as Alice pacified me while her stuffed costume is slightly trembling.

However, it still kind of feels like Im somehow being made fun of No, no, this wont do, dont let yourself be dragged on her pace.

[Haahhh Once again, nice to meet you.]

[Its nice to meet you too~~!]

Letting out a big sigh, I regained my composure and held out my hand to shake hands with her.

Alice also reached out her hand the stuffed costumes large hand, and held my hand.

Then, out of nowhere, a sound like breaking gla.s.s could be heard before Alices stuffed costume burst open.

[Eh?]

[Huh?]

When the stuffed costume burst open, what appeared was das.h.i.+ng, wavy long blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes that looked like fine sapphire. There was a beautiful girl that could even be mistaken for a bisque doll, dressed in clothing that looks like it was patched up with numerous pockets.

[Ah, eh? W- Why did my magic break Awawawawawawa!?]

The young girl Alice dumbfoundedly mumbled as she continued staring at me, and immediately afterwards, as if the sound of an explosion resounded, her face turned bright red.

[Hyyyyyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!?]

[ ! ? ]

Alice, whose face turned red like a boiled octopus, immediately let out a scream and ran towards the counter with terrifying speed.

Then, she vigorously began fis.h.i.+ng out something on the counter, and a little later, she took out a white mask I think its called an opera mask? Anyway, she took out a mask that covers her face above her nose, and after hurriedly putting it on her face, she let out a sigh of relief.

[E- Errr]

[I- Im sorry. Its just that its been a long time since I talked with someone face to face so I couldnt speak properly without it]

[And youre fine with that mask?]

[Yes, as long as half of my face is covered.]

It seems that Alice is extremely embarra.s.sed not to have her face covered and she wasnt able to talk properly without something to cover her face.

Thats why she was wearing that costume just now No, well, it doesnt seem like she really needs to wear that stuffed costume, but lets not tsukkomi about that.

[Anyway What the heck are you suddenly doing, Kaito-san!!! From which outlandish kingdom are you, stripping a girl in the middle of the day like this!!!?]

[N- No, I also dont know what just happened or rather, dont describe it in a way that would cause misunderstanding!!! You were only stripped of your stuffed costume!]

[No, no, Im still feeling very tainted in my opinion! So tainted, I cant become a bride anymore!!!]

With the opera mask on, Alice returned to how she was earlier, and she began throwing raging flames all over the place.

However, it just almost feels like a false accusation, because I dont know why her stuffed costume burst open just by touching it.

However, the fact that the stuffed animal turned into this young girl, and also because of that scream I heard earlier, makes me feel a little guilty.

[Ill buy five items.]

[How about a bit more? If you want, I could even open up my chest area for a little bit]

Hearing my mutters after I gave up, Alices eyes immediately sparkled.

Weve only just met, but I think I already have an idea how to handle her. How should I say this Her att.i.tude is kind of refres.h.i.+ng to see.

Dear Mom, Dad Alice is a pain in the a.s.s, coercive, and an easily embarra.s.sed miser. In short She was quite the weirdo.

T/N: 5/11. Last Bonus Chapter for the day.