I Should Have Just Died - Chapter 86
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Chapter 86

Aha Ill try it next time. Sid, can I do that as well?

Yeah. Its not that difficult.

Alyssa whispered. He then opened his mouth.

The anniversary of the person I know is soon. He died unfairly. I heard from him that freshwater fish is served by sprinkling it with lemon and grilled and eaten.

Seidricks touch began to slow again. He did. Alyssa wasnt the only one who liked this grilled fish. Kendrick used to sit in this seat regardless of the season, forgetting the time and tilting the fishing rod. He used to enjoy fishing with him every time

The grilled fish, seasoned with salt and pepper, were also what Kendrick taught Seidrick. It was also forgotten.

Kendrick, look. You shouldnt have died you should have survived.

Not aware of Seidricks reaction, Alyssa spoke slowly.

Its the anniversary of that person. But I have committed a lot of sins against that person.

Alyssa smiled softly.

She broke the engagement between Kendrick and Dania and took the place of his fiancee. The royal family didnt hesitate to be dirty to keep Kendrick tied, so breaking his engagement wasnt too tricky. It was not until later she found out that Lady Dania, who had previously shown hostility to Alyssa, was Kendricks original fiancee.

The royal family will probably have no guilt for them.

Not only that, Alyssa was also guilty of Kendrick.

So I may be clumsy, but I want to treat you with his favorite food.

At first, there was a custom of reminiscing about the deceased by sharing the food that he loved the most in his lifetime. Alyssa was saying she wanted to put freshwater grilled fish on the dinner table.

It would be great, Kendrick.

The princess, who doesnt know anything, cooks fish herself for her brother.

And at that moment, Seidrick realized the nasty truth.

Alyssa and Kendrick.

The two were initially supposed to be married. She was supposed to have Kendrick, not him, by her side.

If Kendrick was alive

As Seidrick swallowed a hot fireball, his throat became hot.

He couldnt stop his thinking as he mechanically seasoned the fish and put it on the skewer.

I must have become a shameless and immoral person.

***

Seidrick smiled in vain. So, he was relieved of himself right now. Damn.

His hand trembled. He couldnt bear the ugliness of himself, relieved of Kendricks death. Turning his back on Alyssa, he held the fish on the fire and burst out the breath he had been holding.

His forgotten feelings came to mind.

Sid? You dont look good. Youre pale Is something wrong with you?

He drowned in the kindness that Alyssa gave, and he forgot the things he should not ignore. Seidrick stared at her. But, he was like something more pathetic.

Even then, I cant hate you anymore

No matter how much Kendricks shadow was on her, he couldnt hate Alyssa anymore. Even though she realizes his immoral self, he hopes that she will be safe and not sick.

He wished she would stay with Seidrick for a long time.

He had a hunch that the reason he clung to Kendricks remains and dreams may be his guilt.

Ugly and selfish, Seidrick.

He doesnt hesitate to even think of immorality now.

Months have passed since they didnt visit Kendricks tomb on the excuse of being busy or on the pretext of the royal family. There was a reason. He couldnt go because he couldnt stand himself, and he couldnt stand in front of Kendrick.

Seidricks heavy gaze stared at Alyssa.

Sid? Youre really weird Are you sick? Shall we stop and go back?

Nevertheless, he couldnt let go.

Seidrick slowly glanced over Alyssas white face with her thin cheeks.

For Gods sake, there wasnt one thing he could hate.

The small face that harmonizes with the long flowing platinum hair is white. Mysterious purple eyes sparkle like jewels, and pale pink lips pour out pretty words.

Besides, Alyssa was a more profound person than he thought.

To protect her, he had plain-clothed knights following her. The royal family members were those who could harm Alyssa at any time, so the plain-clothed knights, hired by Seidrick, were paying keen attention to her.

Thanks to this, he gained a lot of information about Alyssa that he did not know before.

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