There Was a Real Gift (1)

At this, the light promptly disappeared in an instant. Before I could even figure it out, I knew by instinct that something had changed. However, I could not figure out what it was. At best, I only knew of the degree to which my heart more vigorously jumped in my chest. I no longer felt the terrible helplessness that had haunted me since I died and came back to life.

It was refreshing.

It wasnt overflowing, but the vitality that was there was spinning around in my body. There seemed to be something else, but right now I had no way to know what it was. I would have to observe it more over time. Lets not be impatient, I was saying to myself when I heard an overly dazed voice murmuring. I turned my head and saw Adelia.

As always, she had fallen asleep whilst guarding my side, with the flash that had occurred now having awoken her.

Ha-am, she yawned, rubbing her eyes, then glanced out of the window.

I thought it was morning, Adelia mumbled softly as she stood up.

I then watched as she moved like a sleepwalker, moving to the fireplace. When she stopped, she gathered a few logs and pushed them into the hearth. Then she sat down, blankly staring at the flames.

Gcha Tcha!

After a while, she lifted her body, starting to move around to the room as she shook her hands. She opened the window to let some fresh air in, and then closed it again. Next, she refilled the water bottle standing on the bedside. Then she carefully neatened the ruffled blanket on the bed. And when Adelia was done dealing with chores that could have been done by a servant, she suddenly started massaging my body. It seemed that she was worried that my limbs would become stiff with all the lying down. Her hand movements were so gentle and warmth bloomed in every corner of my heart. This was surely not the first time she had managed to massage me today. She must have been caring for my body until now, without anyone even knowing. I was so grateful and loving toward her for such constant dedication and service. So, I could not stop myself from laughing.

What?

Only then did Adelia turn to face me. My eyes, still half-open after I had woken in a daze, quickly widened.

I- Your Highness? She stuttered as she looked at me blankly. Tears filled her hazy eyes.

Youre awake, Your Highness

Adelia, I answered with a slight smile, and the tears that had welled up in her eyes began creeping down her cheeks.

Your Highness!

Adelia rushed closer to me, crying.

Strt!

Whilst almost hugging me, she deftly stopped herself.

Its okay.

She still looked at me with the same expression.

Its really okay, I told her, my arms wide open, and she dug herself into them.

Your Highness! Your Highness! Your Highness!

I continued to tell her I was all right while she called to me again and again in a nasal voice.

Kuadangtang!

There came a noise from outside.

Bwak!

The door was opened violently. Through the portal, I saw the face of the palace knight dearest to me.

Your Highness

In a short span of time, countless emotions emerged and disappeared on his handsome face. Then, in the end, only an expression of joy and relief remained.

Oh, Ill go and bring the wizard.

Carls swung about and ran out through the door.

His Highness has awakened!

Carls shouts echoed through the quiet halls, and the royal palace, which had been slumbering, woke up.

***

Those who felt most concerned about me visited my palace.

You caused me a lot of worries, the king said with a smile as he patted my shoulder, yet his face revealed that his stern judgment remained intact.

You couldnt even walk properly! What did you think you were doing, with such a cold wind blowing outside! What, do you want your body to get sicker? Vincent was angry.

I waited for you to wake up, Arwen said with a faint smile.

Brother. Please take care of yourself.

Maximilian looked at me again and again with his bloodshot eyes. Though each of them expressed it in different ways, the emotions they showed were the same: extreme concern tempered with a sense of reliefand feelings of guilt and compassion. The first two emotions werent too strange, but I struggled to understand the latter two.

Youve had a hard time.

From now on, rather stay inside, Arwen stated.

When I asked her why she only offered an incomprehensible answer, while the conversation went on, the wizard looked at my body. He had checked my condition a few times so far, but I felt that he was doing so very intently today, out of all days.

Im really okay now, I complained, finding his meticulous examination to be overwhelming. Vincent glared at me with warring emotions in his eyes.

Do not mind the princes words, he said, and look closely without missing anything.

The king even ordered the healer to check again to see if he had not missed anything. Eventually, I was made to lie in bed until the sun rose, watching as the wizard went over my body.

It looks like there was some heavenly help. Rather than his energy being weakened, his body is in a better state than before.

Those who heard the healers report sighed in relief.

Look- I said I was okay.

Ever since I woke up, Ive been complaining about the needless concern, but there was no one who understood my feelings.

**

From that day on, I quickly started to feel better. With great speed, after three days, my body recovered to the extent that I could take short walks without being supported by others. However, my broken mana heart showed no sign of recovery. If I said I wasnt impatient, I would be lying, and if I said I was not discouraged, it would be another lie.

Its been seven yearsfor the past seven years, I have lived with my swords as extensions of my body. I had accumulated mana day by day. I had desperately struggled to overcome the paltry talent of this body. It was a body that I had honed to completion only after suffering to the brink of death, and my mana was gained through the same deadly struggles.

However, now, all of it disappeared overnight.

My body, which had achieved its apotheosis, had now become like that of the terminally sick, and the mana that had once flowed through me had scattered everywhere.

If the feeling of this loss was small, that would have been weird indeed. At first, I had desperately hidden such feelings. Whenever my mind became soaked by such thoughts, even for a moment, I quickly became anxious and didnt want to look at the people around me. However, my knights, who I couldnt help but hold dear, rendered my efforts to hide the inner state of my heart void. Yet, they did not comfort me with words; they merely pretended not to knowexcept for Vincent.

Swords arent everything in life. Look at mehow long has it been since I wielded a sword? Ive forgotten how to hold one by now.

He was the one who consoled me, saying that I should not become panicked by my loss.

I was gladdened by his willingness to help me and his concern, but I felt desperate nonetheless.

Im not proud Im someone who wants to wield a sword, but I cant.

So I was able to talk openly with Vincent, without hesitation. Of course, dealing with the other knights now became more comfortable. Vincents crude consolation and the silent, honest support of the others made me very grateful. It was a gratitude I had never felt before losing my strength; it was an emotion I would not have comprehended in my old hasty existence. It somehow felt as if one side of my heart was being tickled, and I liked that unfamiliar feeling.

Probably, at some point, I would no longer have to hide my inner self from them.

Do you ever want to wield a sword properly? Then please do not fall like last time when the cold wind hits into you, Vincent said bluntly some days later as we watched the palace knights practicing in the training hall.

Are you ignoring that I dont have mana right now? Im really sad about it.

It is sad. Im not ignoring it, its true But see, these knights, they are not slowing down their swords for the sake of your Highnesss feelings.

Yet its also part of training to practice slow swings.

You didnt do that before, but these days, you would be forced to.

You keep talking unkindly, I noted.

Its because of my mood. Im just talking to myself, Vincent said, then suddenly seemed to remember to ask, Why are you skulking around the palace these days?

I just felt bored.

Vincent looked at me in a pathetic manner with a face that seemed to rebuke me for making the servants suffer merely because of my boredom.

Why? Who said what? I demanded.

It was an undeniable fact that Ive been running around the palace these days, so I was a bit stung.

Do I have to say that for you to know? Of course, its uncomfortable for them.

Yes, you keep telling me that.

To say it openly, Im still the only duke of the kingdom, and your Highnesss cousin. There is no fault that I am not willing to deal with.

Then why dont you rather do the same thing as me?

Are you serious?

When I looked at Vincents face, after he had spoken so much, I could see I wouldnt get a quick answer from him. I didnt know what he was trying to make me do, but I have faced his constant nagging. If my words made him uncomfortable, it seemed that he himself struggled to face my own nagging.

Im not saying anything directly, Vincent, but I want to know if they are uncomfortable or not, I spoke, making sure to maintain a moderate tone.

Its common sense. If the prince suddenly comes into the kitchen, or pops up into a room where the maids are working, and suddenly speaks to them in the middle of their labors, the servants will, of course, become uncomfortable.

Vincent continued his carping, listing all my travels over the past few days.

Everyone was friendly when they saw me. When I talked to them, they seemed to like it, or did they lie?

They try to hide the fact that they dont like it, they are afraid something would happen if they dont pretend.

I was starting to get annoyed by Vincents scolding when he asked me, So why are you doing it?

Its amazing, came my profound response as I swallowed down the complaints that had reached the tip of my tongue.

What?

Just everything, everything!

I wasnt just saying it. Now that my body has reached this state, the world looked different to me. Obviously, neither my hearing nor vision was as it had been before, yet I was seeing the world clearer now. The hazy layer of mist had risen from the snow; it felt as if a curtain had been lifted from my eyes. I wandered all across the palace because I liked to take in the vividness of life.

Its because I died, yet live. Its all new and amazing.

I could see that Vincent had decided to stop his nagging.

Fwoo Do whatever you want. I dont know anymore, he said with a sigh after a while, and then stayed silent. The sun was setting, and I got up.

Lets go. Its cold.

I fastened my collar and returned to my palace. When I entered my room, I immediately grabbed the carving knife. As if Adelia had been waiting, she picked up a piece of wood and handed it over to me. I had commemorated the past by carving elaborate statuettes over the past month, but it wasnt just my old friends that I should remember and mourn for. I began trimming the piece of wood, pursuing nostalgic memories in my mind. I was intently busy with my carving when Vincent asked me a question.

But werent you finished with sculpting? Is there any reason to make these weird statues again?

I laid down my work for a moment, recalling all those old memories. I remembered a shabby barracks, right after the battle was over, with a warrior sitting on the ground, engrossed in something without even having wiped the blood off her body. I asked why she was wasting her time carving statues, for I couldnt understand it; why did she do it when her body was wracked by fatigue after repeated battles, when there was scarcely enough time for sleep?

She smiled and answered my questions.

She had said, Because the faces of the dead quickly fade. But if you sculpt like this, you have to keep thinking of the face whether you like it or not, so it stays a little longer in your mind. Then, when it fully fades from memory, you look at the sculpture again, and the face comes to your mind.

I started carving again.

If you forget a face, youll think of it again when you look at the statue, I replied briefly, adding, and nothing is weird about it.

Apart from their purpose, shouldnt you be able to make them well in order to do that?

I pretended not to hear him. After I had been focused on my work for a long time, Vincent asked, So who are you making this time?

Still moving the carving knife, I responded profoundly.

My uncle.

Vincent remained silent. However, it was only for a while, for he began speaking in a trembling voice.

Is that my father?

Uh-huh Doesnt it look similar to him?

There is no similar feature, and there wouldnt be even if I washed my eyes.

I know youre like this, Vincent. Its not new anymore.

Have your Highness ever thought that the problem lies with you and not with me?

I dont have any problem My work isnt a problem.

If that piece of wood doesnt resemble him, why should I be forced to say it does?

Shall I call Arwen again and ask-

Vincent batted the statue out of my hands before I was even done speaking, with it falling to the floor and snapping at the neck.

Degur!

As I watched the head rolling over the floor, I instinctively shouted, Uncle!

How is that my father?!

**

As the sun rose, I wandered around the palace. I explored places I had never been to before and captured sights in my mind that Ive never seen.

Isnt it cold? an old servant asked.

Im fine.

Well, your Highness, you may be all right, but Im cold.

I spoke idly to the man, then moved on. I squatted as I watched the gardener trim flowers.

It smells good.

Take a bite. Its just delicious.

While watching the palace chef stir his pot, I ate.

It was pleasurable to me to follow the maids and watch what they did. Although Vincent had nagged me about this many times, I chose to ignore him. In recent years, his nagging has gotten worse. In addition to the comfortable manner in which he now spoke to me, his chiding was incomparable to the past. Still, it was good for me to back from death, and it was good that my dear ones took care of me with extreme sincerity. It was also nice to see the world clearly with fresh senses. But not everything was good.

After waking up from death, especially after I fainted and fell, it seemed to me that other people saw me as a child who no longer walked upon the shore of greatness. I didnt want to be treated like some kid with a nosebleed. When I walked like this, I could hear the footsteps of four or five, sometimes dozens of people behind me. They usually watched me quietly, but I knew if I were to do anything else, they would block me. Thanks to that, I couldnt do anything. Reallynothing. All I could do was stay in my room and carve sculptures or wander around the palace. While exploring the palace like that, I chanced to overhear a conversation. It seemed that something had happened in the kingdom.

Nothing goes on. The kingdom is quite calm.

Whenever I asked about the situation outside, the answer was the same. I suspected the kings order to be behind this.

This wasnt the first time, and it wasnt something I couldnt understand. It was only recently that I had died and reawakened. And when I had fainted, concerns about my health had only deepened. Of course, just because I had expected such a decree didnt mean I would follow it. While wandering through the royal palace, I made my way toward the hall. Perhaps because I had already wandered about everywhere, those who followed me continued to do so without doubting my intentions.

Your Highness, we greet you.

The palace knights guarding the door looked at me and hardened their expressions.

Ah, I do not want to cause a lot of trouble. I was just walking.

Seeing them pretending to greet me in a normal manner while subtly blocking my entry, I greeted them in turn, emphasizing that I had come here by accident.

But it looks like more guests have arrived?

At this, alertness flashed over the palace knights faces. They kept their mouths shut firmly, giving no answer. It didnt matterI already knew. I didnt have to have received news to guess that important guests were visiting the kingdom. Vincent, who had so brazenly been in and out of my palace, hadnt shown up all day. The Marquis of Bielefeld had left his office and the prime minister had also vacated the ministry and disappeared somewhere.

I had not seen the nose of one single important personage of Leonberg. I bet that they were all inside the war room or the hall proper.

Well, thats not something Ill know about. Ill go, so keep up the good work.

I roughly waved at the knights and turned around. To be precise, I pretended to do so, suddenly rushing back toward the door. However, after all the damage done to it, my body was so sluggish that even before I got to the halls door the palace knights blocked me off.

His Majesty has commanded that no one is to enter. Please forgive me.

As I listened to the palace knight talking without changing his expression, my face burned. It was embarrassing.

But embarrassment wouldnt stop my curiosity, so I rushed forward again and tried to dig past the knights. But before I had even passed their first rank, they formed a new barrier in front of me. I tried several times, but the result was the same.

Just go back, the palace knight said, clearly trying to remain patient. Like when he had first blocked me, his face remained consistently determined. My shoulders soon drooped.

Even if I guessed it would be like this, it shouldnt be.

The knights face, having been as hard as a cliff, started to show cracks.

Well, your Highness

Listening to the embarrassed knight, I regretted it all over again.

Because I have no power now, even the lords ignore me completely.

Your Highness, they dont have that kind of hearts!

If they didnt, then I would at least have been able to enter the halla place to which I was free to come and go when I had the strong body of the Crown Prince.

I cant handle it! Please temper your words, your Highness!

The palace knights knelt in front of me, and I-

Chuck!

I passed by them and reached the door.

Yes, I guess I misunderstood you.

Us, your Highness?

The knights looked blankly on as I passed by.

Anyway, thanks for opening the way.

Regardless of having fooled them, I focused on the task at hand.

Your Highness!

As I heard the knights scream behind me, I flung the door open as hard as I could.

Dwak!