The event was held at the Marriott Marquis. When I entered the event hall, a man greeted us and took my summer jacket and purse. He asked if we had brought a gift for the soon-to-be newlyweds, and I held up a white envelope that contained the gift card and something witty from Hallmark. The man pointed me in the direction of the gift table that was being guarded by two formally-dressed women. When we approached them, they smiled and greeted us warmly.

"Hi," the one with the biggest smile said. "Do you have a gift for Lexus and John?"

"Yes," I said as I handed over the envelope.

She frowned as she took it from me. "Okay, well," she said. "Enjoy the party. You can go right through those doors there."

She sat the envelope on top of a pile of smaller gift boxes and quickly waved us off to move on to the next pair of guests that were behind Mom, Ally, Nick, and me.

At first, I didn't understand why I had gotten such a snotty response from that woman, but as I pa.s.sed the next four tables that were covered in oversized and elegantly wrapped and bowed boxes, it all began to sink in. I shook off the minor upset, seeing that it didn't seem to bother Mom or the twins, and we approached the large, dark, double doors to the ballroom. Two professionally-dressed men standing at each side reverently opened the doors. As the men held the doors open for us, we entered the ballroom in complete astonishment.

Lexus' parents had hired a party planner for the engagement party, and it looked like it was money well spent. I immediately noticed the high, hanging chandeliers that rose from the ceiling. Dim, romantic light made the crystals in the chandeliers sparkle like stars in a creamy, vanilla sky. The way the room lit up made everything from the tablecloths to the champagne gla.s.ses look like gold. A woman held a wine gla.s.s in her hand. When she pressed the gla.s.s to her lips and began to drink, it looked like she was drinking pure atomic number 79.

There were tables and bars set up. Servers hurried through the crowds in the most professional attire and manner. They walked from the tables to the kitchen in a maze of party guests. Some of them were going to the bars to collect drinks to take back to tables. They stood tall with their chins and noses up while they were still. When moving, they were swift and traveled with perfect balance in a synchronized rhythm. They didn't seem to spill a drop.

There was a large stage at the front of the hall. Before the stage was a modest-sized dance floor. The crowd of people dancing looked like they were having the time of their lives. The middle-aged and thirty-something-year-old dancers were being serenaded by a jazz band that was conducted by a maestro. The jazz band looked down at the entertained dancers from the large stage as they played instrumental, upbeat music.

What was even more astonishing to me was the effect this formal event seemed to have on the guests. It made everyone in the room look like movie stars, and some looked and even behaved as if they were royalty. One of those people was Lexus' mother, Clarisse. She was elegantly dressed in a backless, black and white, Christian Dior, silk chiffon gown. She wore heavy jewels around her neck, in her hair, and on her fingers. Jonathan Sr. looked just as nice, dressed in a black tuxedo with a white bow tie and c.u.mmerbund. I could only imagine how lovely Lexus and John must have looked.

The two proud parents spotted us entering the ballroom. They had been talking to each other, along with their own spouses. As soon as Mariah saw me, she kissed her husband and walked in the opposite direction. Jonathan and Clarisse were the first people to greet us out of the group of four. As they approached us, Jonathan smiled at me and gave a handsome wink. John definitely got his charm from his father.

"You made it!" Clarisse greeted us.

She and Mom stretched out their arms and gave each other a quick pat on the back without genuinely embracing.

"I'm glad you all could come," Jonathan greeted us.

Mom smiled. She asked, "Where is the newly engaged couple?"

"The kids will make their entrance soon," he answered.

"Look at Miss Alison. You look so cute," Clarisse complimented. She reached her arms out to Alison, wanting a hug.

Alison sweetly obliged and embraced her.

"Thank you," Alison said. She pulled away and took her place beside Mom again.

"And Nick," Clarisse said to him without reaching out for a hug. "That's a casual suit you are wearing."

Nick rolled his eyes at her.

"This is all he can fit into." Mom tried to laugh it off. "He's growing up so fast! I can't get him into anything he owns anymore."

"You should see James. We had to buy him a tuxedo the other day, just for tonight. I'm sure he's going to be growing out of that by next week," Jonathan said. "So I know exactly what you mean."

Mom laughed. I could tell that Mom was feeling embarra.s.sed and self-conscious.

Mom looked relieved as Clarisse took over the conversation. She was probably relieved because Clarisse hadn't commented on what she was wearing. Mom's outfit wasn't completely dressy, but it wasn't casual, either. She wore a solid color, light brown, knee-length, spaghetti strap, v-neck dress with stockings and matching sling-back high heels. Compared to what Clarisse was wearing, I guess it was nothing to brag about.

I was waiting for Clarisse to size me up, but she didn't look at me even once after she saw what I was wearing. Jonathan looked at me with a frown, but quickly caught himself and smiled at me to try to cover up.

"You ladies look lovely tonight," he said to Mom and me.

As Mom talked with Clarisse and Jonathan, and with Alison staying beside Mom, Nick and I slyly sneaked away without excusing ourselves. Nick grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the front of the room. We giggled mischievously, knowing exactly what we were doing.

"Lexus' mom looks hot," Nick said.

"What?" I asked while laughing.

"What? She does!"

"I can't believe you," I said.

We laughed together as we wandered closer to the front.

"Well," he said. "She doesn't look as hot as Lexus, though."

"Where do you see -" I gasped.

Nick pointed towards the stage.

The crowd cheered as the maestro stopped the music to kindly introduce Lexus and John to the stage.

"Everyone say h.e.l.lo to the future bride and groom: Lexus Reed and Jonathan Christian, Jr."

The crowd cheered and applauded in an excited roar as though Lexus and John were rock stars.

"Let's give these two kids a hand, folks! They are on their way!" he exclaimed gleefully.

Lexus stood on the stage in a colorful and strapless Betsy Johnson floral and tulle dress. John stood beside her in a black tuxedo with a loose bow tie and no c.u.mmerbund. His jacket was b.u.t.toned and his collar was undone and turned up. His long locks that he'd let grow out over the years handsomely draped his neck. A few strands attractively fell over his cheerful eyes. The breathtaking couple dreamily stared at one another. I believe that they saw no one else but each other at that moment. Their smiles were something to admire enviously and enough to make tears fall out of my eyes.

Nick looked at me as the cheers began to fade and the music started back up.

"Hey, sis. Guess what?"

"What?" I asked while wiping dry my wet eyes.

"She doesn't look hotter than you."

I smiled at him. He was a prince to adore.

"Thank you," I said.

"Come with me," he said as he gently grabbed my hand and began to lead me towards the crowd on the dance floor.

"No, Nick. I am not dancing in these shoes," I told him.

"You wore high heels and that cute, short skirt for a reason. You are going to show them off."

Nick knew me too well. He swung me out on the dance floor. As we moved to the music that had no lyrics, I couldn't help but laugh and let the good time I was having with him take over me. We weren't really into swing music, but that's what was playing, so we made the most of it by doing the best we could, which was our worst. So we made fun of each other and ourselves as we tried to do swing moves that we had seen on television.

"Do this with me," Nick said as he swung his arms wildly at his sides, kicked his feet forward, and back while in place. He did the silly dance with a goofy smile on his face.

I threw my head back and laughed. "There is no way I'm doing that!"

"Get over here," he demanded as he grabbed my hand and swung me into his arms. He and I laughed aloud.

Nick was taller than I was, and he was only eleven years old. He looked like a dashing prince dressed up in a suit with his hair slicked back. We both felt a bit under-dressed compared to the other guests we saw. Nick wore a pair of brown, cotton-blend slacks and a matching jacket. He sported a gold and black striped necktie to compliment. I was wearing a short, black, pleated skirt and a black spaghetti strap top to match. I wore no jewelry except the silver chandelier earrings that I had found under my bed.

When the music stopped, Nick and I held onto each other while laughing hysterically. The people around us probably thought we were drunk from the way we were dancing and making funny faces at each other. It only made us laugh harder.

"I need something to drink," Nick said hoa.r.s.ely.

"We danced a little too hard out there." I kept laughing.

"Come on! Let's see if we can get a drink without an I.D."

"Nick," I said, as he dragged me along. "Wait." I couldn't stop laughing. "I have to catch my breath."

Nick stopped in his place and put a hand on my shoulder to rest.

"You think they'll give us something to drink?" Nick spoke hoa.r.s.ely because he was almost out of breath.

"No. I'm not letting you get alcohol. Stay here." I said.

I walked over to the bar and asked for a cup of ginger ale and a cup of cola. The bartender told me he'd be with me in a moment as he placed drinks on top of a waiter's tray. The waiter waited patiently as the bartender tended to him.

I didn't see Mom approach until she began to speak.

"Kristen, where is your jacket? I thought you were going to keep it over your arms."

I rolled my eyes and turned towards her.

"The man took it at the door when we came in."

"You should probably get it back," she said.

"Why?"

"It's not appropriate to have your arms showing like that. It's too much skin."

"So I guess you don't like what Lexus is wearing, then," I sarcastically replied. "She's showing way more skin than me. I think she looks nice."

"You know what this is about. Don't argue with me. Get your jacket back from the doorman and put it on."

"I don't want to," I told her, "I like it like this."

"You are embarra.s.sing me," she said.

"I'm sorry I'm not like Lexus, Mom. I'm sorry that I can't be perfect enough for you to show off. I'm sorry that you can't compare yourself to your friends and come out on top. But this is me, Mom." I showed my bare arms to her with my wrists turned up and my scars exposed. "I'm not going to stand here and be uncomfortable and hot in that jacket all night. And if Lexus' mom or any of your friends have anything to say about the scars on my wrists, then you tell them to shut up and go to h.e.l.l."

Mom bit down on her tongue and angrily stormed away.

The bartender finally came over to me when Mom walked away. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he said with a fake smile that begged for money. "I didn't mean to keep you waiting. What drink would you like me to make for you? Was it ginger ale and a cola?"

"A cup of ginger ale," I said, "and a cup of rum and cola!"

"Sure thing," he said with a flirtatious wink.

When he returned with the drinks, he smiled and said, "The bar is paid for, but if you'd like to leave a tip, that's fine." He tapped his fingers on a jar that was sitting on the counter top. The jar had black marker writing on it. It read: PLEASE HELP THE PO'.

I smiled back at the bartender and said, "I'll get back to you on that."

As I walked away, I watched to see if he'd give me a dirty look, but he just kept on smiling. He moved on to the next woman waiting at the bar, who could have been Vanna White's twin sister.

Nick rushed up to me and tried to grab the rum and cola out of my hand.

"No, baby," I told him. "This one is yours." I handed him the ginger ale.

Nick frowned into the cup before he took it and drank it up in only three gulps.

"You were thirsty," I said.

He put his nose close to my cup. He said, "What are you drinking?"

"Just cola," I said. I s.n.a.t.c.hed the cup away from his nose.

"Smells like something else," he said.

"I'm going to the ladies' room."

"Can I come?"

"Shoo! Be gone!" I playfully said as I walked away from him.

Nick laughed. "That's okay. I wanted go look for James."

I didn't look back as he strolled off in the opposite direction, snapping his fingers. Nick was full of life and seemingly high spirited tonight. I turned around when I was sure he wasn't following me, and I saw him running over to James. James was sitting at a table full of young girls. That will keep Nick occupied while I go drink this in secret, I thought to myself.

I laughed as I turned around and continued walking. I wasn't sure where I was going. I found myself outside of the event room. Wandering down the s.p.a.cious halls of the Marriott Marquis, I was amazed at how tall the walls were. They were distinguished in design and extravagantly lavished in multicultural-looking art. I admired the regal decor from the paintings on the wall to the million-dollar carpeting on the floor. My tour down the hall dead-ended at a large, gla.s.s view-port. The gla.s.s was so flawless and clear that the door was barely noticeable. I stretched my free hand out and pushed at the door, and it opened gracefully. I stepped out onto the terrace and looked out at the city. The lights on the Marquis twinkled and shined brighter than the stars in the cloudless night sky.

I sipped on the rum and cola slowly. It was mostly rum with what tasted like just a splash of cola. I laughed to myself as I remembered the way Nick and I had been dancing on the dance floor. We must have looked insane compared to the older and more mature people out there.

Then I thought about how gorgeous Lexus looked, and how attractive she and John looked together. Their individual beauty complimented the both of them together as a couple. No one could rightfully say that Lexus was more beautiful than John was or that John was more alluring than Lexus. When everyone looked at them, they saw an enamoring couple.

I smiled at the lights that began to blur. I was getting drunk from the rum. Letting the warmness seep into my chest, I took another sip. I blushed, thinking of John and Lexus finally married. My thoughts were taken over by the alcohol, and I thought about being married to John. Sadness filled my heart, and despair crept into my mind. What if it had been different? What if Jack had been here and hadn't ruined us? Would I be different? Would John have liked me more? Would he have kissed me that day when we'd flown the kite?

The cup only had one gulp left inside. I quickly drank the last of the rum and cola. When I swallowed, the alcohol went down my throat the wrong way, and I started to choke. I coughed to catch my breath. I felt as if I'd never breathe again. It was taking so long to get those tiny trickles out of my throat. Suddenly a hand was rubbing my back gently, and a kind voice was calling out my name.