To that I had to laugh. "He's amazing. Completely amazing."

"Just watching out for you. I never got the chance to scare away any of your boyfriends. I feel like I need to make up for lost time," he said, the half smirk on his face telling me he was only half-serious.

"You'll get your chance with Clara and Marissa, I'm sure. They're growing up beautifully."

"Oh, man, don't remind me." He rubbed his forehead.

I stared up at the stars and relaxed into the chair. The night was cool, but the fire was warm at my feet. "I'm glad we could come," I admitted. "It's great to see you all. I can't believe how long it's been."

"I know. It's been too long, really." He sighed and took the last sip of his wine before setting it on the table beside him. "I'm really proud of you, Erica."

Our eyes met briefly before I looked down, feeling suddenly shy. "Thanks, Elliot."

"I watch Marissa and Clara grow up every day, and I see you in them. As much as I cling to these moments with them, knowing they won't last, going through it all over again brings up a lot of memories. A lot of regret that I couldn't be more for you."

"It's okay." I didn't know what to say. I had wanted him to be more too, but I'd come to terms that he couldn't.

"No, it's not okay." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked into the fire. "I want you to know that I had never loved anyone the way I loved your mother. Up to that point, she really was the most amazing woman I'd ever met. And you were this perfect little extension of her. Cute as hell and smart as a whip. I couldn't help but fall in love with you too. I felt so lucky to be your dad. Then when she got sick..." He shook his head, sadness locking his jaw. "We never saw it coming. My whole world turned upside down. I was young, and Patricia was my life. Then...I was scared to death of doing everything wrong with you. All of a sudden, being a dad seemed like the scariest thing in the world. I was afraid I was going to mess everything up. That I wouldn't do her justice, you know?"

I wanted to comfort him. To reassure him that everything had worked out. It had, hadn't it? I reached out for his hand. He held it tight for a moment and then released it, returning his gaze to the small fire warming our feet.

"I tried calling you so many times," he said quietly. "I wanted to try to explain as time went on, but it's hard to do it over the phone. I wanted to make it out to see you too, but life got in the way. It's no excuse, I know."

"I'm here now. And I understand. I can't imagine what you went through. I missed having you in my life. Both of you. But I managed. I'm a different person for it, I think. More independent than maybe I would have been." I laughed softly, and he looked up. "I mean, poor Blake can't pin me down to save his life."

He smiled, the sadness in his eyes dissipating a little more. "Good. You keep him on his toes."

I do plenty of that. More than I probably should, though Blake would never tire of reminding me of that fact.

I looked up at the sliver of the moon. As far as we'd traveled today, the people in my other life could see the same sky. I wasn't so far away from that world, the life I'd created after all this time. Elliot knew almost nothing about that world-the people who'd become family, the experiences that had brought me to my knees, and the ones that had helped me get back on my feet. How could he?

"I wanted to ask you something," I said quietly. I sat up straighter in my chair, bracing myself for what might come next. "Did Mom...ever talk to you about my father?"

He frowned, hesitation sweeping his features. He was awkwardly silent. I recognized his hesitation. I'd seen that same look when Marie had the chance to tell me the truth about Daniel but didn't. In an effort to respect my mother's wishes, she'd kept silent too.

"I already know who he is. He was in some old college photos that Marie gave me, and I was able to track him down. Marie finally confirmed it. I know Mom didn't really want me to know, but I guess curiosity got the best of me."

He nodded slowly. "I can understand that. Would be hard going all that time not knowing. But she did worry about what kind of influence he'd have in your life if you knew who he was."

"If the way they broke it off was so horrible, I don't understand why her family wasn't more supportive, you know? Having your daughter show up pregnant after college graduation wasn't ideal, but we were never close with her family. They always seemed closer to her siblings and their kids. In retrospect, it was like I was a pariah. We both were."

He grasped his hands together under his chin. "I might as well tell you the whole story while you're here. Who knows when we'll get another chance."

I frowned. "What whole story?"

He ran his hands through his hair and drew in a deep breath through his nose. "According to Patty, when she came home after graduation, she waited to tell them about the pregnancy until she'd heard from Daniel. When it was clear their relationship wasn't going anywhere, she finally broke the news to her parents. Obviously they were upset. But when they found out who your father was, things changed. They weren't as upset about her being pregnant as they were about his decision not to marry her. They wanted her to force him into it, to reach out to his family and expose the truth. They threatened to do it, and that's when she moved out. She needed their help, but she wasn't about to blackmail him into making an honest woman out of her. She wanted you, and she was going to figure out a way to have you and make a life."

Pain tightened my chest. "Why would they do that?"

"Your mom came from a good family. Professionally, anyway. Professors, doctors. Having Patty marry into Daniel's family would have been a coup for them. Patty used to claim that's why they sent her to Harvard to begin with. It wasn't cheap for them, but they thought she'd at least find a husband. A child out of wedlock wasn't their idea of a success."

I shook my head, hating to think of her in that light. Her family had been so cold, and now I knew why. Thinking about all the choices she'd made to keep me, at the expense of keeping her family close, sickened me.

"I'm sorry. All this sounds terrible. It's why I never wanted to tell you and why Patty never wanted you to know. Sometimes you think you want to know the truth, but people can be cruel. Selfish and cruel, and there's no way to tell you the truth without it hurting."

"Not much about discovering Daniel hasn't been hurtful, to be honest. He's... Well, he's a lot like you'd probably imagine."

He stared at me in silence for a moment. "What kind of man is he? She didn't talk about him much."

I inhaled a deep breath. Daniel had more sides than I wanted to know. "Powerful. Shrewd. Deep into his career and political circles. His way or the highway for the most part, I suppose."

Elliot studied me. "Doesn't sound like much has changed."

"No. But for what it's worth, I believe he did love Mom. I just don't think he had much choice in the matter. If he'd done the right thing, his family might have disowned him."

"And Patty did what she felt was right, and her family disowned her."

I sighed, saddened for them both. If things had been different, they could have been together. We could have been a family, with or without their parents' support. Nothing could replace the years that we'd lost, but maybe that didn't matter now.

Beth and Blake joined us on the patio. The heaviness from our conversation lifted a little when I saw Blake. His eyes flashed to mine. I smiled, despite the sadness that filled me.

"The girls go down all right?" Elliot asked.

Beth slumped into one of the chairs, looking drained and in dire need of a stiff drink. "Not without a fight. But they're down."

"Your girls are so precious," I said. "You're doing a great job with them."

Beth managed a smile. "Oh, thank you. I'm trying, but heaven, do they wear me down."

"What about you two? Any plans for kids?" Elliot asked.

My jaw fell open slightly. The question had completely blindsided me.

Beth slapped him on the shoulder. "Quit. You're going to give Blake a heart attack."

Blake looked at me, his eyes more thoughtful than I expected. "We haven't talked about it much. We've got time to figure it out though."

We hadn't talked about it at all, in fact. With the way he was looking at me now, I had a feeling that would be changing soon.

CHAPTER FIVE.

We left Elliot's house near midnight. Blake and I drove back to the city and checked into a beautiful five-star hotel overlooking Lake Michigan. We crashed seconds after coming into the room.

My eyes fluttered open. Predawn light seeped into our hotel room, and through the curtains, I caught the glittering shimmer of light across the lake. I sank back down into my pillow. It was barely six o'clock and beside me, Blake slumbered quietly. The late afternoon flight followed by the dinner with Elliot's family had been tiring.

I thought about last night, his first introduction into my world outside of meeting Marie. I was happy he'd met Elliot, and I was proud to come back into their world with Blake by my side. Seeing him and Beth again had been great, but Elliot's words would color the way I thought of my mother's family for the rest of my life. Any hope I'd harbored about having them in my life in the future had been effectively shut down.

Blake stirred and stretched. My recounting of the conversation with Elliot dissolved, and my thoughts circled around Blake. The sheet lay loosely over his hips, putting his amazing body on display. I slid my leg over his thigh and nestled close to him. He was warm from sleep.

"'Morning, sleepyhead," I sang quietly, drawing light circles over his stomach and up his chest.

He groaned and stretched again, scooping me closer to him when he relaxed. "I love waking up next to you."

I hummed my affirmation and pressed a kiss to his chest.

He threaded his fingers through my hair. His eyes were sleepy, his face soft and rested. "Happy birthday, baby."

I smiled. "Thank you. I would have totally forgotten if you hadn't reminded me."

"What do you want to do today? We can do whatever you want."

I raised my eyebrows. "I figured you had everything all planned out. I didn't bother wishing for anything in particular."

He laughed. "All right, guilty as charged. Let's shower and get dressed. We'll get breakfast, and then I'm going to take you shopping."

"Shopping? For what? I have everything I need."

"Honeymoon wardrobe shopping."

I laughed. "I can't imagine that's something you really want to do."

He smirked and rolled me off him as he turned to his side. Propped up on his elbow, he began lazy caresses under the edge of my shirt. "It's your birthday, and I want to spoil you. In all your years living in Chicago, did you ever go shopping on Michigan Avenue?"

I thought of the very few times I'd even walked down the popular street, let alone purchased anything. "No. Not really in the budget."

"Well, this time everything is in the budget."

I smiled teasingly. "Everything?"

Blake cocked an eyebrow. "Do you doubt it? I'm pretty confident I can buy you anything you could ever want."

I planted a playful kiss on his lips. "I don't doubt it. But I'm more interested in your other"-I hooked my finger under the sheet lying precariously over his hip and lowered it slowly-"assets."

"Hmm," he moaned against my lips, shifting his hips up. He was hard, and his erection slid into my eager grasp. "What's mine in yours, sweetheart."

"Then I'll just make myself at home," I murmured, sucking his lower lip between my teeth. I bit down gently.

He groaned and tightened his fingers in my hair. I let my tongue slide over the plump flesh. I pushed his shoulder back until he was flat on the bed.

The smile playing on my lips relaxed as I eased down the length of his toned body. I traced my tongue down the center of his stomach, dipping lightly into his navel. I breathed him in, his musky scent stronger the farther I went, until I was face-to-face with his rigid cock-the thick weight of it heavy in my palms, the veins throbbing as I pumped him gently. I punctuated each stroke with my mouth, swirling my tongue over the head, sucking the salty pre-cum. I wanted to draw more out. I wanted to watch him come apart. I pressed my nails into his hip as I took him fully in my mouth.

"Fuck," he yelled, from the nails or the fact that I'd taken him to the root, I wasn't sure.

I didn't let up on either account.

"Ah," he gasped. "Come here, baby."

I moaned, my core clenching as I imagined taking him fully in other ways. I let him slip from me slowly. "I'm just getting started. Relax."

"As much as I love morning head..." He sucked in a sharp breath as I took him deep into my throat. "Fuck me, it's your birthday. Get your ass up here. You're about to get your first present."

The head of his cock left my lips with a pop. He bent and hauled me up to him before I could argue. I straddled him.

"Hands on the head board," he said, his voice still raspy from sleep.

I placed my hands on the hard wood at the head of the bed and watched him shift down and disappear between my legs.

"Now sit down," he said, his breath gusting against me as the sordid words left him.

"Blake..." I tensed, embarrassed by the position. I didn't know how or why, but he still had the ability to scandalize me. Not giving me the time to refuse, he placed his palms on my ass and guided me down to his face. I lowered tentatively until suddenly his mouth was hot and wet against my sex. I gripped the edge of the headboard and bit my lip, barely stifling a moan.

He lingered at my entrance, teasing the sensitive tissues there. He swept a broad lick down the seam of my pussy. I lowered farther, chasing the hot pleasures of his mouth. He spread me with his fingers and whispered something against my flesh. The air tingled against my clit, making it desperate for his attentions. I shimmied, begging without words. He kissed me there but then moved his attention to the entrance of my pussy. I trembled as his tongue dipped inside me and retreated.

"Blake." When I said his name, I wasn't sure if it was a plea for more or something else. I felt so open, so exposed as he continued fucking me with his tongue. But he'd seen every part of me. I had nothing more to hide.

I itched with the need to touch him. I wanted to run my fingers through the silky strands of his hair while he pleasured me. I wanted to guide him over me, but deep down I knew he'd always give me what I needed, even if it wasn't what I wanted. The position had left me feeling an odd mix of vulnerable and dominant. Perhaps that was what had me unsettled.

"I love your pussy. I want you to come so I can taste more of you. It's never enough."

The movement of his body beyond my view made the bed move, and I knew he must be painfully hard, as desperate to fuck me as I was to be fucked.

"I need you now. Please, Blake..."

My voice was breathy with anticipation. My thoughts scattered with the desire thrumming through me. But he kept on, fucking me with his tongue. When I tried to escape, he only urged me down into his motions. He gripped my ass so firmly there was no escaping.

When I thought I couldn't take a second more, he returned his attentions to my throbbing clit, delivering a series of hard licks and sucks that hurdled me right to the edge of my orgasm. I cried out. I slammed my hand against the headboard, the other clawing its way down the wall. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to take this crazy feeling out on him. I wanted him to feel all of it too.

I was so close. My legs shook as he slid his finger into my greedy pussy. I clenched around the single digit, reminded anew how badly I wanted him inside me. I pivoted my hips, eager for more. I reached down, sifting my fingers through his hair. His mouth left me abruptly.

"Hands on the headboard. That's your last warning."

I put my hand back up and let out a frustrated groan. He pumped in and out of me. I braced for another slow, frustrating climb to release, but instead, he retreated. His broad fingertip, slick from my arousal, began massaging circles over the tight pucker of my anus. I sucked in a sharp breath, launching myself higher, the few inches his grasp would allow.

"Relax," he said quietly, pulling me back down to him.

"Blake, I can't," I insisted, every cell of my body wanting to run suddenly.

"Yes, you can."

I squirmed in a weak effort to escape his clutches, achieving nothing as he held his mark. The battle began between wanting him to finish me and wanting to escape from whatever might ensue from his kinky demands. I gripped the headboard, unable to tear my mind away from his exploring finger. A tight knot formed in my stomach.