Nancy Shaw looked up from her menu just as her niece came into the bar, and noticing the person walking next to Laura, she let loose a loud guffaw. "Oh, Ellie, you really had me going for a moment, now didn't you?"

Confused, Eleanor looked up. Following Nancy's and Peggy's line of sight, she smiled when she saw Laura and Toni heading their way.

Sliding out of the booth, Eleanor hugged them both, and seeing the nervousness in Toni's eyes, she quickly slid back into the booth and motioned for Toni to follow. Holding Toni's hand under the table, she waited until Laura was seated to say, "Nancy and Peggy, this is Toni Vaughn, Laura's partner."

After quickly glancing at her cousin, Peggy smiled and held out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Toni."

Watching the exchange, Nancy's eyes traveled to Toni. With a penetrating stare, she scrutinized all she could see of her until it was her turn to extend her hand. Doing so, she said, "Yes, very nice to meet you."

"Thank you. Nice to meet you also," Toni said quietly.

Regarding the woman with a mixture of kindness and curiosity, Nancy couldn't pry her eyes away until the greeting had ended. Glancing in Laura's direction, she said, "Your mother didn't tell me you started your own business, Laura."

Tilting her head to the side for a second, Laura looked past Toni, and when she saw the amusement in her mother's eyes, the penny dropped. Giving Toni's knee a squeeze under the table, Laura said, "I didn't start a business, Nancy. Why would you think that?"

"Well, because she said you were here with your partner, but obviously, we've had a miscommunication."

Sitting quietly by her mother's side, Peggy Wallace studied the black-haired woman sitting opposite her for a few moments before glancing back at her cousin. Until the day Laura had left for university, Peggy and Laura had been inseparable. Born only four months apart, they had grown up in each other's shadow, and over the years, they had shared their dolls and their dreams. They had tittered over boys, blushed about firsts, and could even finish each other's sentences without batting an eye. So when Laura finally looked in her direction and their eyes met, Peggy simply tilted her head as if to ask really and grinning, Laura answered with a wink.

Lacing her fingers through Toni's in full view of everyone at the table, Laura said, "Actually, there wasn't any miscommunication, Nancy. Toni is my partner...as in significant other."

Nancy's eyes almost popped out of her head at the announcement, her mouth falling open seconds later to allow her to suck in all the air the room contained. Taking a quick gulp of her ale, she looked down her nose at Eleanor. "Well, I guess that means you'll never have those grandchildren you so desperately wanted, Eleanor. Feel free to visit mine whenever you feel the need."

"That won't be necessary," Toni said, looking up from the table. Locking her eyes on the woman who was wearing a turquoise and pink open-weave sweater, Toni said, "In this day and age, there are lots of ways to have children, and once Laura and I are married, we'll find the one that suits us best and use it...to our heart's content."

Although they tried not to show it, Laura and Eleanor were stunned when Toni spoke up. Packed tightly in on their side of the booth, they both could feel Toni's knees shaking under the table, and while her breathing appeared to be normal, her palms were sweating so badly they were both worried she was heading toward a panic attack...and as it turned out, she was.

The stores and streets had been crowded with last-minute shoppers, and having been shoved, jostled and touched more times than she could remember, before Toni ever stepped foot in the pub, her nerves had already been frayed. She had convinced herself that she could handle meeting these women, but doing it in a bar overflowing with people was not the place. It was noisy with patrons trying to talk over each other. The televisions were blaring, and sitting directly behind her in another booth were men smelling of ale and cigarettes. She was just about to excuse herself to go to the ladies' room when she had heard Nancy's haughty tone. It had set Toni's teeth on edge, and for a split-second, her fears had disappeared. Unfortunately, that second had long since gone.

Lowering her eyes, Toni leaned toward Laura and said quietly, "Slide out, Laura. I need the loo."

Laura had been staring back at her aunt, watching as the woman's face bloomed with embarrassment, but as soon as she heard the strain in Toni's voice, Laura looked at her partner. In an instant, she knew what was happening.

"Actually, so do I," Laura said, sliding out of the booth. Allowing Toni to pass, Laura said, "We'll be right back, Mum. Order us some wine, will you?"

"Breathe, sweetheart...just breathe."

"I...I...I can't," Toni said, gasping for air. "Can't...breathe....help...me..."

"Shit!" Laura said as she looked around the room for her handbag. Realizing she had left it in the booth, Laura's face went slack for a moment, but only for a moment. Returning her eyes to Toni, Laura spoke calmly and clearly, with not one ounce of worry in her tone. "Sweetheart, listen to my voice. I need you to breathe slowly, Toni. Just take nice easy-"

"Oh, my God, what's wrong?" Peggy said, seeing the two women huddled in the corner of the room. "Laura, what's wrong?"

"Don't ask questions, Peg. Just go get my handbag. I left it in the booth, and don't let them know about this. Okay?"

Without answering, Peggy waddled from the bathroom as fast as her pregnant body would allow. Getting to the booth, she quickly grabbed Laura's purse from the bench, and without batting an eye, she simply said, "Time of the month," and went back the way she came.

When Peggy returned to the ladies' room, she found Laura and Toni exactly where she had left them. Toni was still gasping for air, and Laura's faced was shrouded in worry. "What am I looking for?" she asked, holding up Laura's handbag.

Intent on trying to keep Toni calm, Laura didn't hear the door open and jumping, she cast a quick glance in Peggy's direction. "Oh, thank God, it's you. Look inside. There's a paper bag. I need it, Peggy. I need it now!"

Leaving Peggy to fumble through her over-filled handbag, Laura turned back to Toni. "Sweetheart, just keep listening to my voice. Okay? Remember what Abby told you. Concentrate on your breathing. Nice easy breaths...in and out-"

"I got it!" Peggy shouted, pulling the sack from Laura's handbag. Shaking it open, she said, "You keep talking to her. I've got this." Moving slowly so she wouldn't scare the panicked woman, Peggy placed the bag over Toni's mouth and nose.

For a split-second, Laura gawked at her cousin, but the sound of the paper bag crackling brought Laura's attention back to Toni. "That's it, sweetheart. Take some nice slow breaths just like Abby said. You know what to do. Just concentrate on my voice. You're safe, and we're here to help. Just focus on me, Toni. Forget about everything else. Just focus on me."

It took a while before Toni slowed her breathing enough for Peggy to feel comfortable removing the bag. Letting out a sigh of relief, she watched as Laura helped Toni slide slowly to the floor. "Is she okay?"

Brushing away the sweat-soaked strands of hair from Toni's forehead, Laura said, "Yeah, it's just going to take a few minutes."

"I take it that she's had these before?"

Looking up at her cousin, Laura said, "Yes, but she hasn't had one this bad for quite a while. Do you mind telling me how you knew what to do?"

As she walked over to the sink, Peggy said, "Did you forget my husband's a firefighter? Stephen's forever taking emergency services classes and I'm his study partner. You'd be amazed at what I've learned helping him cram for tests."

A minute later, Peggy returned to Laura's side, and handing her some damp towels, she said, "So if you ever break a leg, I'm your girl."

"Thanks, I'll remember that," Laura said, offering her cousin a weak smile.

"Maybe we should call a doctor."

"No, Toni doesn't like doctors," Laura said softly. "And besides, she's coming around now." Watching as Toni slowly opened her eyes, Laura whispered, "Hiya, sweetheart."

"I'm....I'm sorry, Laura. I'm...so sorry."

"Sshhh...don't apologize. You couldn't help it. It's okay."

"I fucked up, Laura. There were too many people today and I...I didn't give myself enough time to calm down before we came into the pub. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

"Relax, Toni. No worries. As long as you're okay, that's all that matters."

"I would have been all right if your aunt hadn't wound me up, but when she said that shit about grandchildren to your mum, I just...I just lost focus. Why did she have to say those things, Laura? Why?"

"Because she never thinks before she speaks," Peggy said. Seeing that Toni immediately cowered when she heard her voice, Peggy smiled and added, "Which is one of the reasons I now live in Falkirk."

"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here," Toni said, looking up.

"No apologies necessary, Toni. I love my mother, but she can be a right pain in the arse sometimes."

It was enough to break the ice, and Toni relaxed against the tile wall. Running her fingers through her hair, she wiped the dampness on her trousers. "Christ, I'm soaking wet. I guess this one was bad, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so, sweetheart, but if we use those hand dryers over there, no one will be the wiser. All right?"

"Okay, sure," Toni said as she struggled to stand.

"I'll guard the door," Peggy said, leaning her back against the only entrance to the room.

"Oh...um...no, that's okay, Peggy. I'll just lock it," Laura said.

"There isn't a lock, and we've been really lucky that no one's come in so far, so you had better hurry up," Peggy said, hitting her hand against the dryer push button.

Toni could see the concern on Laura's face, but she was too tired to argue or to worry about the other woman in the room. Pulling her sweat-soaked shirt over her head, she handed it to Laura and then leaned under the dryer to allow the warm air to wash over her.

Starting the second unit, Laura held Toni's shirt under the blower as she looked in her cousin's direction. Seeing the shocked expression etched on Peggy's face, Laura said firmly, "Peg, I trust what you see in this room, stays in this room. Yes?"

Prying her eyes away from the scars covering Toni's back, Peggy nodded. "Of course, Laura. Of course."

"Is she okay?" Eleanor asked, seeing Laura come in from the patio.

"She's fine. Just a bit annoyed that she lost control. That's all."

"Should I assume that Peggy knows what's going on now?"

"Well, she walked in on Toni having a full-blown panic attack, and she saw the scars-"

"What? How?"

"Toni was soaking wet after the attack, so we needed to dry her blouse, and Peggy had to stand guard at the door."

"Did she ask?"

"No, but I know she wanted to."

"Maybe you should tell her."

Yanking out a chair, Laura sat down. "Why should I have to? It's really none of her business."

"True, but you and Peg have always been so close, and she seemed quite tickled to find out that you and Toni were partners."

Smiling as she remembered her cousin's expression, Laura said, "Yeah, it didn't seem to faze her, did it?"

"No, but it shocked the shit out of your aunt," Eleanor said as she reached for a cookbook. "I never saw that shade of purple on a person's face before today. It really didn't go well with that God-awful cardigan she was wearing."

Laura chuckled softly as she gazed back at her mother. Nancy's sweater had been truly awful, but because of her mother, lunch at the pub was not.

After getting Toni sorted in the ladies' room, the three women had returned to the table, but before Laura could come up with an explanation for their delay, Peggy chimed in to say they had just been catching up and lost track of time. Doing as Laura had suggested, Eleanor had ordered them wine, and before Laura got settled in the booth, Toni had already managed to take a few sips to further steady her nerves. Fully aware that Nancy had not yet come to terms with Laura's relationship with Toni, Eleanor steered the conversation in Peggy's direction, and without missing a beat, Peggy took the lead. Talking about her children's antics and the upcoming birth of her third son, the rest of the meal was spent listening to amusing stories about Peggy's boys, and it wasn't long before both Eleanor and Nancy joined in with a few of their own.

"I love you, Mum."

Busy scanning recipes, Eleanor's head popped up. "What brought that on?"

"You were great today. I'm not sure many mums would be as accepting as you are."

"Laura, I love you and whether you believe it or not, so does your father. I think it's fair to say that we both adore Toni, but after today, perhaps we should rethink Christmas. Maybe it would be best if we just spend it here. Just the four of us. What do you think?"

Hearing the back door open, Laura held back saying anything until Toni had removed her coat. "Mum was wondering if we should change the plans for Christmas."

"Yeah? How?" Toni asked as she poured herself a glass of wine.

"She thought maybe you'd be more comfortable if we just had a small get-together here. Just you, me, Mum and Bill."

"Oh, I see."

"How'd you feel about that?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

Thinking for a moment, Toni took a sip of wine and knelt by Laura's chair. Smiling, she looked in Eleanor's direction and then back at Laura. "Give me a reason for changing our plans that doesn't have anything to do with protecting me, and I'll agree to it."

"Toni-"

"Laura, we've had this talk before. You can't keep trying to protect me-"

"But sweetheart-"

"Let me finish," Toni said, taking a seat at the table. "I started getting nervous after the fourth store, but I didn't tell you, and I didn't give myself enough time to regroup before we entered the pub. What Abby told me to do was working, but I didn't follow her instructions, and we both saw what happened, but I've learned my lesson, and it won't happen again. I know you're worried because there'll be a lot of people around on Christmas, but not all of them are strangers to me now, right?"

"I suppose."

"And I promise, if I start feeling stressed, I'll let you know or...or I'll go outside and grab a fag."

"They're predicting snow on Christmas."

Amused by Laura's pout, Toni said, "Well, then I'll make sure I wear my coat...just for you."

Chapter Forty-Four.

"I could stay like this forever."

"I figure in about twenty minutes you might get your wish."

"Whatcha mean?"