"Yes...yes, it is," Toni said, staring at the slate beneath her feet.

It felt odd to sit so close to a man and not feel fear, to not worry about the brass buckle on his belt or believe the words he spoke were untrue. They had only known each other for a few hours, but from the moment they met, it seemed to Toni that he was trying his best to make her feel comfortable. He hadn't offered his hand until she had offered hers. He hadn't tried to exclude her from conversations, or direct his attention only to his daughter or his ex-wife, nor had Toni wanted to be excluded. She found Bill charming and unassuming...just like his daughter.

"I hope you don't mind me volunteering to help you girls decorate."

"Um...no, that's fine."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to suggest we start on the outside tomorrow. If I know Eleanor, she'll probably have us hanging lights from the chimney, and they're calling for more snow in a few days. I don't want any of us standing on ladders in that kind of weather."

"I'm afraid all the ladder work will be up to you and me."

"Why's that?"

Pushing what remained of her cigarette into the dirt of a nearby planter, Toni said, "Laura's afraid of heights."

When Bill didn't respond, Toni looked in his direction, and watched as he slowly took a long pull on the pipe.

"I...I had no idea," Bill said softly as he turned to look at her.

Even in the shadows of the night, Toni could see the hurt in his eyes. He was a father who had a child he didn't know. He was clueless as to her favorite color or the type of music she liked. He had no idea if she enjoyed cooking or had a hobby, and the only thing he thought he knew was that one day she'd marry, start a family and give him grandchildren he'd probably never see, but even that was wrong...well, maybe just a bit.

"She's not very fond of spiders either," Toni said, hoping to provide him a bit more insight.

Giving Toni a quick glance, his frown eased just a bit. "Truth be known, neither am I."

It was enough to lighten the mood, and even though the night was frigid, neither seemed to want to leave the bench. Lighting another cigarette, Toni asked, "So, what time do you think we should get started tomorrow?"

"I can be here at any time. Earlier the better, as far as I'm concerned."

"Well, we might have a problem convincing Laura of that."

"Oh? Not an early riser?"

"If early is noon, then yes."

Letting out a laugh, Bill said, "It seems I have a lot to learn about her, don't I?"

"I think we all have things to learn."

"That's why I offered my services in the decorating department."

"It is?"

"Well, I'd like to get to know you both better before the family gathers, and I find you can learn a lot about a person whilst watching them untangle Christmas lights."

"Is that the only reason you volunteered?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just thought maybe you were trying to spend a bit more time with Eleanor, now that you're back together."

Having just taken a pull from his pipe, Bill began to choke on the smoke. After coughing and sputtering for several seconds, he glanced in Toni's direction. Seeing her smile, he returned the look. "You're perceptive, I'll give you that. Can I ask how you knew?"

"I spent a lot of years with nothing better to do than to watch people. When you came into the house, you couldn't take your eyes off her. It seemed to me that you both were trying hard to hide your smiles, and Eleanor had this...um...well, she had this look in her eye."

"A look? What kind of look?"

"Let's just say I've seen it in Laura's before."

"Did you tell Laura about this?"

"No. We haven't really had a chance to chat since you got here, and it's not my place to tell her, now is it?"

"No, I suppose not, but feel free to take the initiative," he said, chortling as he re-lit his pipe.

"You think she'll have a problem with it?"

"She hates me. Of course, she'll have a problem with it."

"I think you're wrong. I mean, from what she's told me, she doesn't really know you that well, and she's never used the word hate when she talks about you."

"Well, I know how she feels about you," Bill said, taking a puff on his pipe. "You can see it in her eyes and in her smile. She has a marvelous smile, don't you think?"

"Yes, she does," Toni said, eyeing the man to her right. "Can I make an observation?"

"Of course."

"It's clear to me that you love Laura, so why doesn't she know that?"

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Because I walked out on them. How do you forgive someone for that?"

"It seems Eleanor has."

"And I give thanks for that every day, but she and I have a history. We share memories filled with love and laughter. Laura doesn't have those memories. She was too young to remember...thank God."

Wrinkling her brow, Toni asked, "What do you mean, thank God?"

Pausing for a moment, Bill took a long pull on his pipe. As he slowly let the smoke escape, he thought about the woman to his left. Well aware of how difficult it was for her to trust anyone, while he had never told a soul about what had happened...trust goes both ways.

"Thirty years ago, I was a young and strapping lad who thought there was nothing I couldn't do. I worked hard and I played even harder, but then one day, Ellie told me she was pregnant and all of a sudden, nothing else mattered. I didn't care if I ever played another game of football or stepped foot on another boat."

"But I thought-"

Shaking his head, Bill said, "The happiest day of my life was the day Laura was born, but she was so bloody small. I was as strong as an ox and just about as clumsy, so it took Ellie days before she finally convinced me to hold Laura, and then I never wanted to let her go. Oh Christ, she was so soft, and she smelled...she smelled so new."

"Then why did you leave?"

As Bill remembered that day so many years before, tears welled in his eyes. Taking another pull on his pipe, he said, "When Laura was barely six months old, she got a wee cold. Eleanor needed to go into town to get some medicine, so I stayed home with the baby. A few minutes after Ellie left Laura began to cry and try as I might, I couldn't get her to stop. She just kept crying louder and louder, and gasping for air. It was positively awful. I felt like such a fool because I'd seen Ellie calm her so many times by simply carrying her around the house or rocking her in her arms, but when I tried it, it made matters worse. Christ, talk about frustrating! Anyway, having run out of ideas, I decided to just lie on the bed with her until Ellie got home, and within a few minutes, Laura stopped crying. I was so bloody proud of myself, because I accomplished what I thought was impossible. You know?"

"I can imagine."

"Well, after a short while, Laura fell asleep, and I got up to make a cup of tea. It was only a few seconds. A short walk to the kitchen...it was just across the way, and then I heard her scream. God, what an awful sound that was...what an awful, awful sound..." Bill's voice trailed off as he hung his head, and sliding down his face, his tears fell to the slate in silence.

Without giving it a second thought, Toni reached over and took his hand. Holding it gently, she gave it a squeeze as she waited quietly for him to continue.

Wiping the tears from his face, Bill shook his head. "She had fallen off the bed. She...she must have rolled over, and when I ran back into the room she was on the floor screaming so bloody loud...so bloody loud. Christ, I wanted to die. I got her to the bed and took off her outfit, this stupid little thing with all these snaps, but I couldn't even find a bruise. There wasn't a scratch or...or a bump...or anything, but it didn't matter."

"What do you mean?"

"I wasn't fit to be a parent. I was a clumsy oaf and I almost destroyed our child. How could I have faced Ellie if that had happened?" he said, raising his eyes to meet Toni's. "By the time Eleanor got home, Laura had stopped crying, but I couldn't bring myself to let her know what I had done. It was the last time I ever picked up Laura or stayed at home with her alone, and before she had turned one, I asked Eleanor for a divorce. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life, but I loved them both too much to stay."

"Maybe it's time Laura found out the truth."

"What? Tell her that her father was a coward? I'm not sure that's a lovable trait."

Toni smiled, remembering all the times she had used that word to describe herself to Abby. Squeezing his hand again, when Bill looked up, she said, "I've called myself a coward more times than I can remember. I'm afraid of strangers and of places I've never been, and I'm not sure I'll ever completely grasp the concept of trust again." Still holding on to Bill's hand, she gave it a shake. "And touching someone...or having them touch me usually causes my heart to race, but Laura has looked past all of that. She's looked past the scars and all of my defects and sees what's underneath. I can't tell you if cowardice is a lovable trait or not, but I can tell you that your daughter doesn't base her opinion about someone just because they think themselves weak. I'm living proof of that."

"Toni, you're her partner. All I am is a stranger."

"William, your blood flows through her veins, and whether you were there to see her first steps or take her to school doesn't erase that fact. You gave up something precious and your reason for doing so was anything but cowardly. It's probably the most unselfish thing I've ever heard, and one of these days Laura needs to know the truth. Give her a reason to love you, and trust me...she will."

Chapter Forty-Two.

Having already discussed the plans for decorating the night before, when William showed up the next morning, the women had already emptied the attic of all the boxes marked Xmas. Due to Laura's aversion to heights, Toni and Bill had agreed that they would do the exterior of the house, while Eleanor and Laura would begin inside. As the boxes were brought downstairs, the ones marked Inside had been put in the lounge, while the ones marked Outside had been placed in the front hall. When Bill walked into the house and noticed the stack by the front door significantly smaller than the one in the lounge, he glanced at Toni and winked. Unfortunately, his cheerfulness was short-lived.

Explaining she had purchased a few new things, Eleanor led them down the hall to her home office, and sliding open the pocket doors, she happily pointed to the stack of LED lights sitting on the floor. A short time later, bundled up and carrying insulated cups of coffee, Toni and Bill trudged out into the brightness of a chilly winter morning.

When Eleanor had decided to move from the city to the country, her goal had been to find a small cottage tucked somewhere off the beaten path. She wanted to enjoy quiet nights and star-lit skies without the noise of traffic or neighbors who played their music loud enough to rattle windows. She had spent several years searching through listings for homes situated around the cities in which she worked, and like so many other prospective buyers, many of her weekends had been spent at open houses, grimacing at the decorating tastes of others.

Discouraged and tired, she was driving away from yet another open house when she saw a For Sale by Owner sign on the side of the road. Peering through some overgrown weeds, she noticed a gravel driveway, and carefully maneuvering her car around the underbrush, she came upon a stone cottage covered in ivy. At first, sighing at the fact that it was almost twice as large as what she wanted, she, nonetheless, rapped on the door. Three hours later, she left holding a purchase agreement in her hand.

Built before World War II, the house had seen its share of conversions, both inside and out. While the stone faade for both the house and detached garage remained as it had been some eighty years before, the windows, doors and roof had all been upgraded only a few years before Eleanor moved in. After signing on the dotted line, her first order of business was to have all the ivy removed, and once a few spots of mortar were repaired, and the trim around the windows and doors received a fresh coat of paint, the old house didn't look so old...at least not on the outside.

Enlisting her daughter's help, over one very long weekend, they had worked at cleaning the house from top to bottom, and once the painters were finished the following week, Eleanor's not-so-little country cottage was quickly becoming a home.

In order to capture as much natural light as she could through the small, boxy windows set deep into the stone, all the walls and ceilings had been painted white, while colors to match the decor of the rooms had been chosen for the trim. The oak flooring, darkened by years of wear and varnish, had been stripped, sanded and re-coated and now its honey-color helped reflect the light streaming through the window panes.

Having seen her share of interior design horror stories in her many years as an estate agent, Eleanor's approach to decorating the lounge was simplistic and comfortable. Knowing that the focal point of the lounge would be the wall covered in stone holding one of the three fireplaces in the cottage, she purchased a broad-striped area rug with bands of tan and cream to cover the floor, the colors matching with the natural sandstone almost perfectly. The creamy hues repeated in the upholstery covering the sofa and chairs surrounding the hearth, and an over-sized burnt-orange ottoman acted as the coffee table, with the shade repeating in the throw pillows scattered on the sofa, as well as in the curtains surrounding the windows.

Careful not to go over the budget she had given herself, while Eleanor had sold most of her old furniture to make room for the new; several pieces in dark walnut were kept and now acted as accents in the room. Given the size of the lounge, her favorite reading chairs now sat opposing each other near the two windows on the front wall, and a tiny table on which to place her nightly cup of tea stood in between. Bookcases that had once stored her child's board games had been painted white and placed along the walls, with each shelf now holding pictures and mementos gathered through the years.

Returning from the kitchen with two cups of coffee in her hand, when Eleanor saw her daughter standing by one of the front windows, she grinned. "You know, if you keep checking on her, we'll never get anything accomplished."

"It's just that she's out of her element here," Laura said, turning away from the window. "And she has problems when it comes to strangers."

"I don't think I'd classify your father as a stranger. True, they only just met last night, but it seems to me that they're getting on rather well."

Eleanor was right. The night before, although hesitant at first to join in the conversation around the dinner table, as the evening wore on, Toni's anxieties seemed to fade. By the time the meal was over, she was easily conversing with both Eleanor and Bill, and when he had arrived at the house that morning, Toni greeted him with a handshake without batting an eye.

"Yeah, I guess," Laura said, glancing out the window again. "But he is a man..."

Rolling her eyes, Eleanor walked over and pulled Laura away from the window. "Laura, I know that Toni has certain issues when it comes to being around men, but this isn't just any man. This is your father. I know you don't know him very well, but I do, and they'll be fine. Now, stop worrying about what's going on outside and help me get this room in order. Okay?"

Looking around at the stacks of boxes scattered about, Laura said, "Okay. Let's get to work."

"That's my girl," Eleanor said, handing Laura a cup of coffee. "Now, have a sip of that while I go fetch the step stool."

A few minutes later, Eleanor returned, and seeing the amused look on Laura's face, she asked, "What's so funny?"

"Apparently, Bill isn't the only man you know," Laura said, holding out her hand.

Confused, it took Eleanor a few seconds to realize what her daughter was talking about. "Oh my," she said, taking the navy blue boxers from Laura. "Can I ask where you found these?"

"I was moving the magazine rack out of the way. They were behind it."

"I see," Eleanor said, crumpling the boxers in her hand. "Well, let me just put these in the laundry, shall I?"

Before Laura could say a word, her mother left the room, and immediately Laura's smile returned. At first, shocked to discover the undergarment, the more Laura thought about what it could mean, the happier she became. Through the years, her mother had dated a few men, but none had been around for long, and as far as Laura knew, none had ever visited her mother's bed...until now. Believing that Eleanor had finally found someone special, Laura was overjoyed, but she wasn't yet willing to share that information. After all the years of telling her mother about her love affairs, it was time to turn the tables...and the screws.

"So, care to explain?" Laura asked when Eleanor came back into the room.

"Explain what, dear?"

"Well, it's not every day that a daughter finds out that her mother is sleeping around," Laura said, quickly clamping her lips together to stop her smile from escaping.

"I most certainly am not!"

"Mother, there was a pair of boxers hanging off the back of the bloody magazine rack, for God's sake."

"That doesn't mean I've been sleeping around. It just means...it just means that I'm not as tidy as I used to be."

"So...what? You were doing laundry, and somehow they flew out of the basket and landed on the floor in the corner?"

"I don't think I like your tone. You're making this sound tawdry, and it's anything but."

"I don't know, Mum. Having men's underwear draped all over the lounge sounds a bit reckless if you ask me. I never knew you were that loose."

"Laura Margaret MacLeod, how dare you!"

Staring in shocked disbelief at her daughter, it wasn't until Laura crumpled to the floor in a fit of laughter that Eleanor understood that she was being played. Deciding to wait until Laura had herself under control, a few minutes later, Eleanor finally said, "It wasn't that funny."