Chapter Thirty-Seven.
Seventeen minutes. She had spent four days trying to ready herself for what was about to happen in seventeen minutes, and while she was sure that she had managed to clear one hurdle, the second was impossible. Toni was prepared to teach as she always had. To instruct, to listen and to guide would not be the problem, but the ritualistic greeting that so many took for granted would be her undoing...and she knew it.
Although it was their custom to carpool on Fridays, unsure if the contributors would want any additional time at the end of the day, Laura had suggested that they take two cars, and Toni jumped at the chance. Throughout the night, she had tossed and turned, and when she awoke, the thought of food had caused her stomach to flip, so after drinking a quick cup of coffee, she was out the door. And now, sixteen minutes before she would unravel in front of strangers, her belly began to boil over.
Feeling the bile rise in her throat, Toni jumped to her feet. Running out of the classroom as fast as she could, she sprinted down the corridor to the staff restroom. Fumbling in her pocket for the keys, when the door suddenly opened from within, she pushed past a startled Susan Grant and darted across the room. Sliding to her knees in front of the toilet, Toni emptied her stomach into the white porcelain fixture.
Susan didn't think twice. Locking the door, she grabbed some towels from the dispenser, ran them under some cold water and then went over to where Toni was kneeling. Blanching at the sound of the woman's heaving, Susan waited quietly by her side, and as she did, her eyes shifted to the gap between Toni's trousers and her cardigan. Quickly covering her mouth to prevent her gasp from escaping, Susan turned away as her eyes grew moist. She knew of Toni's past, but knowing and seeing were two different things and nothing could have prepared her for the horrific scars she had just seen. Realizing that Toni had quieted, Susan pulled herself together, knelt by Toni's side and held out the towels. "Here, take these."
Unaware that she wasn't alone, Toni's first instinct was to shrink away, but when she looked up and saw Susan, Toni relaxed against the wall and took the towels from her hand.
"Thanks," Toni croaked, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to call Laura?"
"No, I'm fine."
"But you're ill."
With a huff, Toni leaned her head against the wall. "I'm not sick. I'm nervous. There's a difference." Raking her fingers through her hair, she said, "Just leave me alone. I'll be fine."
A few months earlier, under an overhang in the rain, Susan had had her first conversation with Toni Vaughn. While it was hardly profound, centering mostly on the weather and the whereabouts of Laura MacLeod, it was still a conversation. Since that day, Susan had made it a point to take her cigarette breaks whenever Toni did, excited that the reclusive teacher had finally begun to come out of her shell. Now, kneeling on the floor next to her, leaving Toni alone was the last thing on Susan's mind. "Tell me what I can do."
"How about becoming me for the next hour," Toni said with a huff, tossing the damp towels in the rubbish bin.
Pausing for a moment, Susan asked, "Is this about Jacoby, Wilkinson and Bennett?"
"Who?"
"The men doing the tour today," Susan said. "You know, they really aren't that bad."
"They've already monitored your class?"
"Yes, first thing this morning. Laura brought them up and introduced them, and after a few handshakes, they went to the back of the room, took their seats and were quiet as mice for the entire hour. I didn't even know they were there, so I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Just teach your class like you always do, and you'll be fine."
"It's not the teaching part that has me worried."
"No?"
"I've spent all week gearing up for it, so I'm certain...well, I'm fairly certain I can handle that part."
"Then what made you just lose your lunch...or was that your breakfast?" Susan asked, dimples forming as she glanced toward the toilet.
Snorting, Toni said, "It was my breakfast. What there was of it."
"You know, if you tell me what's wrong, I might be able to help."
"No offense, but I doubt it."
"Then there's no reason why you can't tell me what's got you so wound up, now is there?"
Pausing for a moment, Toni let out a sigh. "I don't like to be touched. Okay? And I've got a huge problem with trusting strangers, especially men, and in..." Pausing to look at her watch, Toni's heart skipped a beat. "...and in nine minutes, three of the bastards are going to walk into my classroom and expect me to shake their hands, and I can't do it. I bloody can't do it!"
The fear in Toni's voice broke Susan's heart, and with the vision of Toni's scars still in her head, Susan was close to tears. In silence, she racked her brain, trying to think of some way to help, and then all of a sudden she jumped to her feet. "Stay here."
"What?"
"Lock the door when I leave and don't let anyone in. I'll be back in a minute."
"What are you going to do?"
Opening the door, Susan looked in Toni's direction. "I'm going to ask you to trust me Toni. Just let me in when I get back, and I promise you, the...the bastards won't touch you."
"Got a minute?"
Looking up from her desk, Laura smiled as John walked into her office. Glancing at her watch as he sat in one of the chairs facing her desk, she said, "I've got about fifteen, or do our visitors need me?"
"No, they're fine. They wanted some one-on-one time with our students, so I dropped them off in the lounge."
"Oh, okay. So, what's up?"
"I'm not sure how I should say this," John said, rubbing his jaw.
"What's wrong? I thought they were enjoying their visit."
"What? Oh, no, Laura, this isn't about them."
"No?"
"No...it's about you, or rather it's about some rumors that are going around Calloway about you and Toni Vaughn."
"What kind of rumors?"
"Well, we all know that you two are housemates, but some of the women are starting to...well, they're starting to insinuate that you're more than just friends, if you get my drift."
Laura put down her pen, leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. "And what if what they're saying is true?"
John's eyes nearly came out of their sockets as he stared back at Laura. "Really?"
Without uttering a word, Laura simply nodded in reply.
"Well, I'll be damned," John said in a whisper.
"Is this going to be a problem, John?"
Noticing Laura's stern expression, John grinned. "There's a whole chapter in our rule book about consorting with students, Laura, but as far as I know, teachers are fair game."
Tickled by John's response, Laura asked, "And how about you? Is this going to bother you?"
"Laura, I'm a live-and-let-live kind of man. You should know that by now, and besides, if you remember, Christopher's gay and that's never bothered me. Why should this be any different?"
Smiling, Laura let out the breath she had been holding. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," he said as he stood up. "And speaking of Toni, how did she do today with the tour? Over the past few months, I've noticed a change in her, but I wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle strangers in her classroom yet."
"Actually, that's the next class they're monitoring."
"Oh, I would have thought you'd have arranged to get that out of the way first thing, for Toni's sake, that is."
"I would have, but they practically demanded to see her teach the remedial reading class, and unfortunately, that's her last class of the day. I couldn't very well say no, now could I?"
"Not with all the money they're talking about giving us."
"Exactly, and Toni seemed okay this morning. A bit nervous, but she's had the whole week to get ready for this, so I think she'll be just fine."
"And if she isn't?"
Seeing the worried look on John's face, she gave him a wink. "Don't worry, John. She'll be fine. Trust me."
Running into the house, Laura tossed her handbag on a chair and whipped out of her coat. "I'm home! Where are you?"
"I'm in here," Toni called back.
Rushing to the kitchen, Laura rounded the corner just in time to see Toni remove what was left of the bandage wrapped around her right hand.
"What the hell did you do to your hand?" Laura asked, quickly pushing aside the gauze to examine the injury. Seeing the skin clear of cuts or scrapes, she said, "I don't understand."
"It was Susan's idea," Toni said, throwing away the bandage.
"Susan? Susan Grant?"
"Yeah. I had a bit of a...well, a nervous stomach, and I ran into her in the loo."
"You were sick?"
"I was wound up, Laura, and when Susan asked me what was wrong, I told her. I knew I could teach the bloody class, but the handshaking. I just...I just couldn't do it, and she came up with the idea of the bandage. Apparently, a few years back, she had cut her hand just before a conference and spent the entire weekend unable to offer a proper greeting because of it."
"But you're okay?"
"I'm fine," Toni said, flexing her hand. "And I think I pulled it off. Don't you?"
Relieved, Laura let out a long, loud sigh. "You were amazing, and they loved your class. They couldn't stop talking about it."
"Then we should celebrate, and since I think I still have at least an ounce or two of courage left in me today, how about you take me out to dinner?"
"Really? Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. As long as it's quiet and not too busy. Okay?"
"Doable. Very doable. Just let me go up and change, and we can go," Laura said, quickly placing a kiss on Toni's cheek before she darted from the room.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Toni leaned against the counter and smiled.
Earlier that afternoon, Laura had led three rather distinguished gentlemen into Toni's classroom. Although she noticed Laura's eyes bulge at the sight of the bandage wrapped around her hand, Laura never said a word, but instead went about the introductions. The first man immediately offered his hand, and sheepishly Toni held up hers. Nodding his understanding, he expressed concern for her injury, which Toni quickly shrugged off, and after being escorted to their seats in the back of the room, for the next hour they watched and listened as Toni taught.
Toni's day had started with a belly churning with anxiety and absolutely no confidence, but as she sipped her coffee, she realized that not only had her confidence returned, it had done so with a vengeance. Placing her cup on the counter, she sauntered from the room, and as she trotted up the stairs, she had only one thing on her mind...and it wasn't dinner.
Getting to the bedroom, Toni leaned against the door frame and quietly sniggered at the mess Laura had created in only a matter of minutes. Her suit jacket and skirt had been tossed onto the bed, and her low-heeled black pumps had been kicked off near the wardrobe. A few clothing choices that had been pulled from their hangers now lay in a heap at the foot of the bed, and the assortment of makeup Toni had straightened just that morning was now, again, covering the surface of the low, boxy table.
Shaken from her thoughts as Laura walked from the bathroom wearing jeans and a brushed cotton shirt, Toni gestured toward the mess. "Couldn't decide what to wear?"
Well aware of her ability to destroy a room whilst picking out clothes, Laura giggled at the disarray. Sitting at the makeup table to make a few adjustments, she looked in the mirror at Toni's reflection. "I wasn't sure if you wanted formal or casual, and then I remembered that little bistro we pass on the way to work. I thought we'd try there tonight. Okay?"
"Sounds good to me," Toni said as she strolled across the room. Placing her hands on Laura's shoulders, Toni leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her neck.
Unconsciously, Laura moved to allow Toni more room. Enjoying the sensation of her lips against her skin, when Toni began to nibble her earlobe, Laura grinned. "What are you doing?"
"Saying hello," Toni whispered.
Laura's body reacted instantly to Toni's ministrations, and her words spilled out in a breath. "But you already did that."
"True," Toni said as she reached around and slowly began to unbutton Laura's shirt. "But I didn't use my hands."
Inhaling sharply as Toni's hands covered her breasts, Laura closed her eyes and leaned her head against Toni's chest, and as the woman continued to grope and squeeze, Laura felt her passion begin to stir.
Pushing the fabric from Laura's shoulders, Toni moved the straps aside, and as the brassiere loosened, she slid her hands under the beige material and began to gently tweak the erect buds that were now hardened to the point of ache.
"Oh...my," Laura said in a breath.
"You like?"
"You know I do...but...but we need to get there before it gets crowded. Don't we?"
"It's early, darling, and this won't take long," Toni said, removing her hands. "Now stand up."
It was an order, and Laura's jaw dropped open when she heard it, but unable to refuse Toni's demand or the urgent throb in her center, Laura did as asked. Getting to her feet, before she had a chance to take another breath, Toni unfastened her bra and threw it aside.