"Are you daft?"

"No, I'm not, and I'm not blind either."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hello? Toni, I may not be allowed to touch, but I can still look, and Laura's a fox."

"Oh, get real, Krista."

"You don't think she's attractive?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Well, perhaps you need to explain, because I seriously don't see what the problem is."

"You don't?

"No," Kris said, shaking her head. "Laura's a fox. She likes you, and you like her-"

"I like her as a friend!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Bollocks."

"Krista-"

"Toni, you saying that you like Laura only as a friend is like me saying I like chocolate only on occasion."

Narrowing her eyes, Toni said, "You love chocolate. You'd eat it all the time if you could."

Tilting her head, Kris wiggled her eyebrows and waited for Toni to catch up.

"I am not in love with Laura MacLeod!" Toni shouted. Jumping off the sofa, she headed to the door. "I'm leaving. I don't even know why I wasted my time with you."

Running after her, Krista grabbed Toni's hand and pulled her back. "Because I'm your best friend, that's why, and you've never been able to lie to me, so stop trying. Now, get your arse back on that sofa and talk to me."

Taking a deep breath, Toni let it out slowly as she returned to the couch. Sinking into its cushions, she looked over at Krista and when she saw the woman's obnoxiously large smirk, she blurted, "What?"

"Start talking."

"I've got nothing to say."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Disappear like you did before," Krista said angrily. "I've waited too long to get my friend back, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you vanish again."

"I'm not going to vanish. I'm right here for Christ's sake."

"Then talk to me, because I know you want to."

"How do you figure that?"

"Because the only place you drive is to Calloway and back. You haven't stepped foot in this house since the day we moved you into your flat, but this thing with Laura apparently has you so wound up that you somehow found the courage to get here. That tells me you want to talk...so start talking."

After a minute passed without Toni saying a word, Krista softened her tone. "Toni, are you in love with her?"

Closing her eyes, Toni rested her head on the back of the sofa. "Yes, and I don't want to be."

"Why not? Laura's a fox-"

"Will you please stop saying that!"

"Well, it's true! And it doesn't hurt that she's smart, has a great job and is apparently totally in love with you."

"How the hell do you figure that? It was just a kiss."

"Yes, but it came from a woman who, until she met you, was straight. You don't cross over that bridge easily, Toni, and I don't think Laura is the type of person who experiments."

Leaning forward, Toni buried her face in her hands. "Christ, I don't want this."

"Can you kindly explain to me why not?"

"Because I can't give her the life she deserves."

"Oh, that's bollocks! Toni, you have more than enough money-"

"I'm not talking about money, Krista," Toni said, raising her eyes to look at Kris. "Laura deserves intimate dinners in five-star restaurants, but without her help, I can't arrange them. I can't surprise her with a special dinner at home, because without her help, I can't buy the food. And what do I do at Christmas or on her birthday? Ask her to buy her own present? She deserves to be wined and dined, and taken on holiday to exotic places where she can walk on white sand and feel the sun on her skin. How can I do that, looking the way I do?"

"Oh, Jesus, Toni, is that what this is all about...the scars? They're just some marks, and I'm sure Laura doesn't care about them. None of us care about them."

"But I do!" Toni screamed, leaping off the sofa. "I do, Krista. I don't need to even look at them anymore because I feel them. Don't you get that? I feel them! I remember when I got each and every one. I remember every fucking word that was said as the belts hit my skin. I remember wanting to die and forcing myself to eat spoiled food just so the bastards wouldn't win, and I remember one night that I fought so hard not to be raped that the bastard pulled my fucking arm out of its fucking socket!"

Toni had never told Kris about the horrors of Thornbridge. Although she had seen the scars, Toni had refused to give her any details knowing Kris would blame herself, and as soon as Toni saw Krista's expression, she realized her mistake. "Oh, Christ."

Toni's words burrowed their way through Krista's body, and when they reached her heart, it broke. Slowly, Krista shook her head as her tears began to flow. "Oh, my God," she said in a ragged whisper. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault."

Quickly kneeling by her side, Toni took Krista's hand. "No, Kris, please...please...it wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault."

"It should have been me. It should have been me."

"Don't say that. Krista. Even if I could go back and change things, I wouldn't. You could never have survived in there. You're not that stubborn."

"But what they did to you-"

"It's over Krista. The bastards got what they deserved, and even if they didn't, they never got me."

"They never...they never..."

"I was never raped, Kris. I swear."

"But you said-"

"I said he tried. I didn't say he succeeded."

"Is that the reason...is that the reason you don't like to be touched?"

"Something inside of me snapped that night, besides my arm, that is," Toni said, offering Kris a weak grin. "Since then I haven't had any...any feelings of...of..."

"Of want?"

"Yeah."

Wiping the tears from her face, Krista said, "But you do for Laura, don't you?"

Returning to sit by Krista's side, Toni said, "When we were on holiday, I bought her a blouse."

"A blouse?"

A small smile appeared on Toni's face. "Long story, but yeah, I bought her a blouse. One night we were going out to dinner, and when she came down the stairs, it was like I couldn't breathe. She was standing there looking so beautiful and suddenly...suddenly I felt...I felt..."

"Turned on?"

Toni's cheeks flamed instantly, and Krista couldn't help but snigger at the sight.

Amused by Krista's tittering, Toni said, "You know this isn't easy for me to talk about, so you laughing isn't helping one little bit."

"I'm sorry," Krista said, trying to contain herself. "But over the years, you and I have spent dozens of nights chatting about sex and our various partners, so you blushing because your knickers got a bit damp is kind of funny, don't you think?"

Toni snorted and shook her head. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just that I haven't felt anything like that in a long time. It kind of took me by surprise."

"Sounds like a nice surprise to me."

"It would be if I was interested in that type of relationship with Laura, but I'm not. I don't have anything to give her other than friendship. I just don't."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I told her this morning that if she tried it again, I'd move out and find another job, so I don't think she'll say anything more about it."

"So you and she will just remain friends?"

"Exactly."

"And when she goes out on a date and doesn't come home until the next morning, or better yet, he stays the night. You'll be okay with that?"

"Yes," Toni said quietly. "I don't have a choice."

Chapter Twenty-Five.

They spent over a week in silence, going about their days only exchanging good mornings and good nights, but when Toni's feet hit the floor Friday morning, she knew the silence had to end. She missed Laura's puffy eyes and rumpled pajamas as she shuffled into the kitchen in the morning. She missed their afternoon chats in the tiny cafe, and visiting Laura's office on a whim, just because she could, but most of all Toni missed the comfort of knowing Laura was her friend.

Pulling on a pair of socks, Toni padded into the bathroom and a few minutes later, she went to the kitchen to make coffee, only to be surprised to find Laura awake and sitting at the kitchen table.

Without lifting her eyes, Laura said, "Coffee's made, if you're interested."

"When don't I have coffee in the morning?" Toni said, pouring herself a cup. Turning around, Toni leaned on the counter and stared in Laura's direction. Taking a few hesitant sips of the steaming French Roast, Toni cocked her head to one side. "I've got a favor to ask you. Actually, I have two."

Stunned Toni was talking to her, Laura looked up. "All right?"

Going over, Toni pulled out the chair opposite Laura and sat down. "The first is to ask that we forget about what happened last week and move on. Let's get back to being just friends and leave all the other rubbish behind. Can you do that?"

While it wasn't what Laura wanted to hear, at least Toni was talking, and after a week of deafening silence, Laura was ready to agree to anything just to have Toni back in her life. "I'm willing to try, if that's what you want."

"It's what I want."

"Okay."

"Good, then that's settled."

While Toni took a sip of coffee, Laura asked, "What was the other favor?"

"Oh, I thought it was about time I re-enter the twenty-first century."

"How so?"

"I'd like to get a mobile. That is, if you have time to take me."

Instantly, Laura smiled. "I think that's a great idea. We can go this weekend, if you'd like."

"That would be great," Toni said. For a second, her eyes met Laura's, and then quickly getting to her feet, she said, "Right, well, I'm going to shower and get ready for work. Do you want to ride in together today?"

"Absolutely."

"I'm impressed," Laura said, standing in the doorway.