"Yeah, she's probably having quite a hard time right now."

"Oh my God, I've got to get back home," Laura said, jumping to her feet.

"Not so fast," Abby said, grabbing her arm and forcing her to sit back down.

"Abby, you just said-"

"I know what I said, but I also know that as hard as it is to imagine, this is just what she needs."

"How can you say that? That's cruel!"

"Laura, if Toni wants to have some semblance of a normal life, she has to start facing some demons. I suspect that she's been able to keep most of them away by living the way she did, but that's no longer possible. Toni told Kris that she wanted to start living again, and if that's true, which, by what you've told me, I expect it is, what happened today was unavoidable. You can't live in the real world and not be exposed to some sort of human brutality. Toni has to learn to live with it and to deal with it."

"That doesn't mean that I can't be there for her," Laura said, snatching her arm from Abby's grasp.

"No, it doesn't, but I honestly think that she's probably better off alone right now. You managed to get her to open up to you about the food issue, but you can't think that because she trusted you with that, she'll trust you with this. Laura, she's wounded, and right now that wound is open and ghastly, and I don't think she's ready for you to look inside. As a matter of fact, she may never be ready for that."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that there's a very good chance that she'll never open up to you or to anyone."

"But you just said she has to start facing demons if she wants a normal life."

"Laura, you're probably not going to like what I have to say, but Toni may never have a normal life, at least not what you and I would call normal."

"You're right. I don't like it!" Laura shouted. "I don't like it at all. How can you say that? You've never even met her!"

"That's true. I haven't. I'm basing my opinion solely on what you've told me about her and what I know about posttraumatic stress."

"Well, I refuse to believe she won't get better, and I can guarantee that Kris won't believe it either."

"Good, because Toni's going to need all the help she can get."

Chapter Fourteen.

"What do you mean she's not here?"

"I needed to drop off something to one of my students who goes to Toni's seven o'clock. I walked in to find a room filled with students, but no teacher. I assumed you two were just running late, but I just checked her eight o'clock, and she's not in there. She's still staying with you, isn't she?" Susan asked.

"Yes, but when I got up this morning, she was already gone. I just assumed she came to work."

"Well, she's not one to roam the hallways, and I checked the car park. Her Jeep's not out there."

"Shit."

"Can you call her?"

"She doesn't have a mobile, and she refuses to pick up my home phone," Laura said, tossing her pen on her desk. "Susan, do me a favor. Go up and tell the women that Toni's classes are cancelled for today. Okay?"

"Sure, but what are you going to do?"

"First, I'm going to call home and leave a very loud message telling her to call me, and after that, I have no bloody idea!"

Slamming the front door, Laura strode through her house. Moments before, when she drove down her street and saw Toni's Jeep, she was relieved, but by the time Laura pulled into the driveway, she was livid. She had spent the entire day on the phone, calling hospitals and hostels in search of Toni, and as each hour passed Laura's concern grew. Thoughts of accidents and suicide raced through her mind, and more than once tears rolled down her face when her imagination spiraled out of control. Having run out of numbers to call, and unable to keep her mind on work, at half past three, Laura filled her briefcase and stormed out of the building.

Finding the lounge and kitchen empty, Laura marched to Toni's bedroom and rapped hard against the wood. A few seconds later, Toni opened the door a crack and Laura erupted. "Where the hell have you been?"

"What?"

"Toni, where the fuck have you been all day!" Laura yelled. "Do you have any idea what I've been going through? I called every hospital in London looking for you!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Toni!" Laura said. "First and foremost, you are one of my teachers, and you have a responsibility to Calloway, which includes calling in if you're not going to be there." Glaring at the woman, Laura was about to utter her second argument when she realized Toni's face had turned ashen. Letting out a long, audible breath, Laura said, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, but you really scared me today."

"I didn't mean to," Toni said quietly. "I'm...I'm just not used to having to answer to someone."

"You don't need to answer to me, Toni, but the next time you decide to disappear for the day, you need to at least call work. Okay?"

"I didn't disappear. I went back to my flat."

"Your flat? Oh, Toni, I had Charlie fix the lock, but it's only temporary. You can't stay there."

"I know. I just went to get my books. I needed my books."

Peering through the open door, Laura saw a stack of worn paperbacks on the nightstand with a few more lying on the floor.

"Did you get all of them?"

"No, I only grabbed a few. I didn't like it there. It didn't feel safe."

"Well, how about tomorrow, I drive over and get the rest?"

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask. I volunteered," Laura said with a small smile. "So, now that we have that settled, how about dinner? Have you eaten yet?"

"Um...no."

"Have you eaten today?"

Thinking for a moment, Toni said, "Wasn't hungry."

For a split-second Laura's smile drooped before she forced it to return. "Well, I'm starving, so why don't I fix us some dinner. You like spaghetti?"

"I'm not really hungry, Laura. I just want to read."

"You can read while you eat. I won't mind."

"Laura-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer," Laura said, walking away. "Now go and read for a while, and I'll call you when it's ready."

Toni was sure it wasn't Laura's intention, but once she sat down for dinner, she found it impossible to read while trying to twirl spaghetti on her fork. Setting her book aside, she listened as Laura rambled on about work, eating what was put in front of her...twice.

A short time later, Laura carried two cups of tea into the lounge. Placing one on the coffee table in front of Toni, she went to the opposite end of the sofa and curled up in the corner. "What are you reading?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

"That's one of my favorites."

"Yeah, me too."

Leaning back into the cushions, Laura tilted her head to the side. "Are you doing okay?"

Toni let out a sigh as she leaned over and placed her book on the coffee table. "I owe you an apology."

"You already apologized, Toni."

"No, I meant about yesterday."

"Don't worry about it."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I don't know why, but you have this way of...of-"

"Getting on your nerves?"

Toni snorted, smiling ever so slightly as she looked at the woman. "No, I mean, yeah, but not on my nerves. More like in my head."

"What do you mean?"

"It's been a long time since I've had anyone other than Kris to talk to, and I know her. I know what to expect with her, but with you...with you, it's different. You do things and ask questions that she wouldn't, and it does my head in."

"I don't mean to, but I haven't known you for as long as Kris. I don't know the boundaries until I've already crossed over them, and then it's too late. I'm sorry about Sunday-"

"That wasn't you. I just...I just did something stupid, and my head started filling with all this shit."

"I'm sorry," Laura said in a whisper.

"It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either."

"How do you figure that?"

"All you did was read the paper. Most of us do it every day."

Toni's head jerked up, her eyes turning to slits as she studied the woman sitting a few feet away. "You're surprisingly intuitive tonight."

"Oh...um...I have a friend. Her name's Abby, and when you did what you did on Sunday, I went and talked to her. She's a psychologist." Noticing that Toni seemed to stiffen, Laura said, "Please don't get angry. I just needed someone else's opinion-"

"And since she's a bloody shrink-"

"She's my friend, Toni. My best friend, and whenever there's something bothering me, just like you talk to Kris, I talk to Abby."

"Maybe I should find another place to stay."

"Why? Because my best friend's a psychologist?

"No, because the next thing you're going to suggest is that I should go talk to her!"

"Don't put words in my mouth."

"Are you saying I'm wrong?"

"Yes, I am."

"Bollocks."

"I don't appreciate you calling me a liar," Laura said, sitting up and placing her cup on the table. "I've never once lied to you or done anything that wasn't in your best interest. I talked to Abby because I was worried about you. You're not exactly the easiest person to read sometimes, Toni, and up until Sunday morning, we were doing great. Then, all of a sudden...bam...you fly off the bloody handle, and I had no idea why or what to do about it."

"Who asked you to do anything about it? People have moods, you know?"

"Yes, they do, but Jesus Christ, Toni, you have bloody tidal waves!"

As Laura shouted, Toni found herself listening more to the woman's rapidly thickening accent than to the words actually being said, but when Laura's tidal wave analogy hit Toni's ears, her eyes creased at the corners. "And I suppose what you're doing right now doesn't fall under the heading of tsunami?"

Whatever Laura was planning to say got trapped when her jaw snapped shut. Staring back at Toni for a moment, the corners of Laura's mouth turned up ever so slightly. "If I didn't know better, Miss Vaughn, I'd think you just made a joke."

Toni returned the smile for a few seconds, but then it disappeared. "I shouldn't have called you a liar, but Kris has tried more than once to get me to talk to a doctor and I just assumed you wanted me to do the same thing, and I can't. I won't."

"Okay."