"Intense," Rachael murmured.
Exactly. MJ was the definition of intensity. There was never a moment when he was at peace and calm in his own skin. Something was always brewing inside him, like a storm ready to drench the world.
It was that drive and focus that made Maddie believe in him. MJ could do anything he put his mind to. And that's what scared her to death.
If he set his mind on having her back, she could never resist him. She didn't think that was a possibility until now.
Opening the pa.s.senger door, she touched the ring under her shirt. Talan was so different. He was a shelter, a safe harbor, not a destructive storm that would crash down on top of her.
The three of them sat outside Cafe Gelato at a round wrought-iron table on the sidewalk. Lunch had been deli sandwiches and chips. Now they indulged in dessert. When Maddie ordered tiramisu flavored gelato, she caught MJ smiling before he realized and became stoic once more. What game was he playing bringing them here for lunch?
Maddie stood in front of the freezer case at Cafe Gelato trying to decide which flavor to order.
"Just try it," MJ said, holding out a little plastic spoon.
"I don't like coffee flavored ice cream," she said, wrinkling her nose.
"You'll love it." He ran the spoonful of tiramisu flavored gelato across her lips, leaving a cold, sticky-sweet trail. "Trust me."
Maddie licked her lips. It was delicious. She smiled and grabbed his spoon, licking the rest off.
MJ laughed. "I told you." He leaned in and kissed her. She'd never get used to the feel of his kisses-like they were meant just for her. Like the reason her mom left and she ended up at the Rocha Estate with her dad was so the universe could bring the two of them together.
When he pulled away and gazed into her eyes, it was perfectly understood. He was hers and she was his. It had been that way every summer and winter break since they were little, and this summer she'd seen him with different eyes. It had been hard to tell him she wanted to be more than friends, but she couldn't resist her feelings.
She rose on tip-toe and kissed him a second time. The girl behind the counter drummed her fingers on top of the freezer case. "I'll have the same," Maddie told her.
She and MJ took their gelato out to the little patio tables and sat down. They'd been here almost every night since he got home for the summer a week ago. Now that he was headed to college, they'd have all the time in the world to be together. Not just during his boarding school breaks.
When they were finished, they hopped in her dad's vintage Torino convertible. Her dad's love of muscle cars had spread to MJ long ago. She let MJ drive while she stuck an old Eagles ca.s.sette tape in the tape deck and turned the volume up. It was her dad's favorite, so they both knew all the words and sang along, loudly to Hotel California the whole ride home.
"Make it to go," MJ said to the waiter.
"In a hurry?" Rachael asked. "Got a hot date?"
Maddie's insides jolted. Please no, don't let him have a date. She instantly felt guilty for wanting him to be alone. How selfish could she be? She had Talan's ring around her neck after all.
But, she and Talan were on a break, and maybe...
No. She couldn't start anything with MJ that she'd have to call quits again. It wasn't fair to either of them.
He tapped the table and shot Maddie a look like he wanted to eat her alive. "Just ready to get back."
Maddie felt her entire body flush, from her toes to her hairline. MJ had given her heated looks before, but nothing like the one she was getting from him now.
He wet his bottom lip with his tongue. The pulse points in her neck hammered with her rapid heart rate.
The server brought their plastic dishes of gelato, breaking the tension, and the three of them piled back into MJ's car. He turned the radio up loud on the way back so none of them could hear each other to talk.
There was something about him so inherently dominant, but at times, he fell vulnerable and needy. MJ's moods had always shifted from hot to cold faster than Maddie could catch her breath.
MJ parked his car in the driveway and turned to her. "I need to talk to you. Alone."
She froze with her hand on the door handle and his eyes on hers, searching again like she had all the answers.
She did have the answers, she just never allowed herself to give them to him.
Maddie pushed her door open and hopped out so Rachael could climb out of the backseat. "Thanks for lunch. It was fun."
"You're welcome. Thanks for coming with me."
Maddie smiled and watched her stride toward the house.
MJ got out and stood beside his door while Maddie rounded the car. "What do you need?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer. He'd been so c.o.c.ky this afternoon, G.o.d only knew what would come out of his mouth.
"Follow me."
She hated the emotionless, monotone, monosyllabic way he spoke to her. Skeptical, she narrowed her eyes, but followed behind as he led her around the garage and through the door to the stairway up to her dad's apartment.
"If there's a problem," she said, halting at the bottom.
MJ grasped her wrists and pinned them above her head, pushing her against the wall before she could finish her thought. His lips claimed hers in a hard, possessive kiss.
At first, she fought against the flame igniting in her belly and stayed unresponsive and tense. She had to push MJ away. She should want to push him away. But she couldn't stop her lips from moving against his, and finally her entire body gave in to his demands. Fighting her feelings for MJ was as futile as attempting to make time run backward.
He teased her bottom lip with his tongue and cupped her breast with one hand, the other wove through her hair, pulling her even closer. Her mouth opened in response. She quickly grabbed her ring and ran it along the chain behind her neck and let it dangle between her shoulder blades.
He couldn't see it. Not like this.
His tongue met hers, and she sighed relief into his mouth, running her hand up over his shoulder to the back of his neck.
She'd wanted him for so long. It was wrong, but at the same time, he was the only thing that had ever felt completely right in her life.
The little plastic cup of gelato in her hand fell between them. Breathless and dizzy, she barely registered the icy-cold wetness dripping down the neck of her shirt. The cup clattered to the floor, and his went with it as his hand clenched her hip.
His mouth left hers, and when their eyes met, she saw a spark of regret in his. But, instead of backing away from her, he dipped his head and ran his tongue down the sticky-sweet path of melted gelato. He nibbled and kissed her before setting her down, letting her go and leaving her breathless as he walked back out the door.
Seven.
Jesus. What the f.u.c.k had he been thinking? That he could take what he wanted and keep enough control to make her go crazy without becoming invested in being with her? Really? This was Maddie, and he was an idiot for even trying.
MJ tore his hands through his hair and paced around in the back hallway inside the big house. He wanted to get out and go to Coach's bar, but getting drunk and fighting again would only get him kicked out and p.i.s.s off Coach.
There was nowhere to run. Staying felt like being a rat trapped in a maze, but this rat knew where the cheese was. He'd just tasted it and ran like h.e.l.l. That cheese had poisoned him before. You'd think he'd learn his lesson. He'd make one dumba.s.s rat.
He cracked his knuckles then pounded his fists against his forehead. He could smell her perfume on him. It made him want to crawl back to her and beg her to never leave him again.
MJ took a deep breath and blew it out hard. He had to take a cold shower and forget this ever happened.
Like that was possible.
s.h.i.t, the whimpers and sighs she made and the look on her face. "Ugh." He scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and focused on not getting hard.
There was no running away from this. No matter where he went, his memory would remind him of her just like it had for the past year. Her voice would come to him in a crowd and he'd look around expecting to see her, but she was never there. The wound she left never healed. He'd been bleeding for her since the day she took off.
"Everything okay, young man?" MJ spun around to face Mr. Simcoe, Maddie's dad. Just the person he needed to be standing in front of right now.
"Fine. Thanks." He mustered a smile and tried not to look guilty for the images of Maddie running rampant through his brain.
Mr. Simcoe folded his arms and smiled back. "Maddie was glad to see you again. It's been a while since the two of you spent time together."
"Yeah. It's good to see her again." And to kiss her and press her up against a wall.
He placed a hand on MJ's shoulder. "You mean a lot to her. I don't know what went on between the two of you, but whatever it was I hope you can get past it."
MJ clenched his jaw holding back a slur of words that would, no doubt, make Maddie's dad punch him in the mouth. He wanted to shout, tell him how Maddie promised the world-the f.u.c.king world-and bolted from him for no reason.
There hadn't been a fight or an argument, only plans and dreams. So many f.u.c.king dreams. He hated her for that. Why didn't she tell him it was all lies? Why lie to him in the first place? He wasn't some kid to be screwed with.
G.o.d, Maddie was the last person who would've screwed with his head.
Then why? Why did she?
"I've got to go," MJ muttered and brushed past Maddie's dad.
MJ sat in the corner of the shower and let the hot water beat down on his skin washing her away. He could stay there forever in the steam and silence and never see her again.
He had to get away from this f.u.c.king house, and everyone in it.
Start over somewhere new.
But, where the h.e.l.l did he have to go?
He lifted his face into the water. He knew where. He'd go with Rachael. She'd already mentioned it to him. He could take her up on her offer to go to Turtle Tear and be gone from this place.
He'd also get to meet his cousins he was never allowed to know because they're little kids and little kids can't keep their mouths shut. One of them would've outted MJ to Merrick, and Enzo couldn't have that.
He stood and turned the water off, dripped onto the bathroom floor and padded out into his bedroom in search of a towel. Out his window, he caught the back of Mr. Simcoe's golf cart heading toward the lake. Maddie's hair blew out behind her as she drove away.
Why was she spending so much time out there? It killed him to spend time at the lake where they spent their summers when they were young, where they made love for the first time in the dark with lightning bugs blinking around them in the tall gra.s.s. Where she told him she wanted to be more and kissed him for the first time.
MJ loved being home on break and he hated it. Hated being where his grandfather didn't want him, but loved being with Maddie. Now high school was over and he'd start college in the fall. No more being hidden away at boarding school. He could do what he wanted, when he wanted and n.o.body could stop him. He hoped that included spending a lot more time with Maddie.
She looked incredible tonight, like always. Her skin was tan, her shorts were very short, and her dark hair hung loose and wild around her bare shoulders. Those shoulders in a tank top did something to him. He wanted to touch them. Taste and nibble them with his teeth.
"Don't you think?" she said, laughing.
He had no idea what she'd said, but agreed anyway. "Yeah. Sure."
She pulled the top of a fat, white wildflower off of its stem and set it in the water. They watched it float. "I have to tell you something," she said, suddenly serious.
"What?" Her blue eyes grabbed his and held on. It was like being punched in the stomach. "What?" he asked again.
"I... um..." She blew out a big breath and shoved her hair away from her face. "Why is this so hard?"
"I don't know. Just tell me." Playfully, he punched her arm and smirked. "It's me."
She smiled and bit her lip. "It is you. That's the thing. I don't feel like your friend anymore."
No. No, no, no. He couldn't lose Maddie.
He gripped her arms and held her tight. "What are you talking about? You're more than a friend to me, Mads. You know that."
She could barely look him in the eye. "What if I want to be a lot more?"
It took him a minute to understand what she was saying, then he thought he'd misunderstood. He'd been in love with Maddie for as long as he could remember, but she never thought of him like that. He was her best friend. Her younger brother.
Wasn't he?
"More, how?" he asked. The question sounded stupid, but he didn't know what else to say. He needed to be certain.
Maddie looked up at him and saw right through him as always. She took his face in her hands, rose up on her toes and kissed him.
His arms immediately found their way around her and held her to his chest.
Finally.
He never thought it would happen, but now that it was, he wondered why it had taken so long. It was obvious they belonged together. n.o.body knew her like he did, and n.o.body knew him like Maddie.
His Maddie.
How could he think he could seduce her and get her back? Did he forget how addicted he was to being with her like that? With her breathless and ready to bend to his will? Jesus, it was all he could do to keep control of himself, and he wouldn't take her unless she was his. Not again.
Never again.
MJ shook his head and turned away from the window. He had to find Rachael and figure out what the plan was. He had to get the h.e.l.l away from here.
After throwing on a pair of worn jeans and a blue GSU T-shirt with holes in it, MJ wandered downstairs. Rachael had to be there somewhere. She didn't answer his knock on the guest bedroom door, and she didn't have a car to get around. He knew she wasn't with Enzo, because his grandfather was locked away alone in his office.
He pa.s.sed the living room. It was empty, the TV dark on the wall above the fireplace. She wasn't in the library or the sunroom either. Heading to the kitchen, he figured he'd check outside. That's when he heard her voice.