Fruits of Culture - Part 6
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Part 6

FIRST PEASANT. Such as it is, it was collected with much effort. We have, so to say, in this sense, not got ammunition enough.

SECOND PEASANT. You can't get blood out of a stone.

THIRD PEASANT. We'd be glad with all our hearts, but we have swept even this together, as you might say, with a broom.

Vasily Leoniditch and Petristchef appear in the doorway both smoking cigarettes.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. I have told you already I'll do my best, so of course I will do all that is possible! Eh, what?

PETRiSTCHEF. You must just understand that if you do not get it, the devil only knows what a mess we shall be in!

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. But I've already said I'll do my best, and so I will.

Eh, what?

PETRiSTCHEF. Nothing. I only say, get some at any cost. I will wait.

Exit into Vasily Leoniditch's room, closing door.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH [waving his arm] It's a deuce of a go! [The Peasants bow].

VASiLY LEONiDITCH [looking at Porter, to Theodore Ivanitch] Why don't you attend to this fellow from Bourdier? He hasn't come to take lodgings with us, has he? Just look, he is asleep! Eh, what?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. The note he brought has been sent in, and he has been told to wait until Anna Pavlovna comes down.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH [looks at Peasants and notices the money] And what is this? Money? For whom? Is it for us? [To Theodore Ivanitch] Who are they?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. They are peasants from Koursk. They are buying land.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Has it been sold them?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. No, they have not yet come to any agreement. They are too stingy.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Eh? Well, we must try and persuade them. [To the Peasants] Here, I say, are you buying land? Eh?

FIRST PEASANT. That's just it. We have made an offering as how we should like to acquire the possession of the land.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Then you should not be so stingy, you know. Just let me tell you how necessary land is to peasants! Eh, what? It's very necessary, isn't it?

FIRST PEASANT. That's just it. The land appears as the very first and foremost necessity to a peasant. That's just it.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Then why be so stingy? Just you think what land is!

Why, one can sow wheat on it in rows! I tell you, you could get eighty bushels of wheat, at a rouble and a half a bushel--that would be 120 roubles. Eh, what? Or else mint! I tell you, you could collar 400 roubles off an acre by sowing mint!

FIRST PEASANT. That's just it. All sorts of producks one could put into action if one had the right understanding.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Mint! Decidedly mint! I have learnt about it, you know. It's all printed in books. I can show them you. Eh, what?

FIRST PEASANT. That's just it, all concerns are clearer to you through your books. That's learnedness, of course.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Then pay up and don't be stingy. [To Theodore Ivanitch] Where's papa?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. He gave orders not to be disturbed just now.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Oh, I suppose he's consulting a spirit whether to sell the land or not? Eh, what?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. I can't say. All I know is that he went away undecided about it.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. What d'you think, Theodore Ivanitch, is he flush of cash? Eh, what?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. I don't know. I hardly think so. But what does it matter to you? You drew a good sum not more than a week ago.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. But didn't I pay for those dogs? And now, you know, there's our new Society, and Petristchef has been chosen, and I had borrowed money from Petristchef and must pay the subscription both for him and for myself. Eh, what?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. And what is this new Society? A Cycling Club?

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. No. Just let me tell you. It is quite a new Society.

It is a very serious Society, you know. And who do you think is President? Eh, what?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. What's the object of this new Society?

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. It is a "Society to Promote the Breeding of Pure-bred Russian Hounds." Eh, what? And I'll tell you, they're having the first meeting and a lunch, to-day. And I've no money. I'll go to him and have a try! [Exit through study door].

FIRST PEASANT [to Theodore Ivanitch] And who might he be, respected sir?

THEODORE IVaNITCH [smiles] The young master.

THIRD PEASANT. The heir, so to say. Oh Lord! [puts away the money] I'd better hide it meanwhile.

FIRST PEASANT. And we were told he was in military service, in the cav'rely, for example.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. No, as an only son he is exempt from military service.

THIRD PEASANT. Left for to keep his parents, so to say! That's right!

SECOND PEASANT [shaking his head] He's the right sort. He'll feed them finely!

THIRD PEASANT. Oh Lord!

Enter Vasily Leoniditch followed by Leonid Fyodoritch.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. That's always the way. It's really surprising! First I'm asked why I have no occupation, and now when I have found a field and am occupied, when a Society with serious and n.o.ble aims has been founded, I can't even have 300 roubles to go on with!...

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. I tell you I can't do it, and I can't! I haven't got it.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Why, you have just sold some land.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. In the first place I have not sold it! And above all, do leave me in peace! Weren't you told I was engaged? [Exit, slamming door].

THEODORE IVaNITCH. I told you this was not the right moment.