We were spooning.

I was spooning with Max Leokov. And he was naked.

Could life possibly get any better?

One arm snaked around my waist while his free hand gently ma.s.saged my breast. "So that was pretty much the best s.e.x of my life," he admitted, pressing soft kisses to my shoulder. I made a non-committal sound in my throat. He pushed, suddenly sounding nervous, "It was good...right?" I made another non-committal sound, knowing he was near freaking out. I yelped when he bit my shoulder and boasted, "I know what you're doing! I know you came, woman!"

I burst into laughter. "Okay, okay. I was trying to freak you out." I turned in his arm to face him. His smiling eyes held me captive. "I've never had better." I snuggled into him, pressing my lips to his throat, speaking against it. "I loved it. Every second."

The vibrations from his throat tickled my lips. "Good, 'cause we're doing it again. Forever and ever, amen."

Forever.

If only.

This morning, I felt lighter and happier than I had been in a long time. Longer than I can remember. So when I came to work cheery as cheery is, you can imagine my shock when a grim looking James called me into his office and started the conversation with, "I'm sorry, Helena. This isn't going to work."

Chapter Twenty-Eight.

Helena "What?" I ask, mouth suddenly parched.

James taps his pen on his desk, avoiding my eyes. "Max called me last night. You're dating. It's officially a conflict of interest. The center can't support your work with Ceecee anymore."

I'm surprised at the disappointment I feel. Dread forms a cold, hard stone in my gut. I reach up and rub absently at my temple. "I'm so sorry, James. I didn't plan this thing with Max; it just happened."

James finally looks up at me. "He's the guy, isn't he?" When I don't respond, he adds, "The one who didn't see you. It was Max, wasn't it?" I smile sadly, but don't say a word. James sighs. "Ceecee's doing good now. She's motivated, and I think she'll be okay without you."

Bitterness runs cold in my veins.

She's only better because of me, and given time, I would've helped her be great.

Wow. I have no idea where that thought came from. I know James works hard with her. I guess I'm just jealous of the working relationship he still has with her that I'll no longer be allowed to have.

He raises a brow in question. "What? You're not even going to fight me?"

I let out a tired sigh. "Would it help?"

Shaking his head, he utters, "Not even a little."

p.i.s.sed, I stand. "I'm sorry, James. Like I said, I didn't see this coming myself." As I take a step towards the door, something holds me back. I turn and add, "But as Max's girlfriend, I'm going to be seeing Ceecee on a regular basis. I'm teaching her to cook. I promised her. I'll also be supervising her home sessions. Tell me if you have a problem with this, James." My blood boils. "Tell me you have a problem with this, so I can break promises to a thirteen-year-old girl with abandonment issues."

Sometime during my rant, a small smile has broken through James's disappointment. "The center doesn't have anything against client/PT relationships, and based on her current enthusiasm, I can't see an issue with you maintaining a close friendship with Ceecee." He stands and walks over to the window, looking out. "And if you, I don't know, decided to exercise in the same place and at the same time Ceecee should happen to exercise, I can't stop that." He turns to me and says pointedly, "I just don't have that kind of power, unfortunately."

I still. Is he saying what I think he's saying?

Blinking down at the ground, I confirm, "So if I were to, say, do cardio in the park at the same time Ceecee decided to do cardio at the same park, and we happened to b.u.mp into each other, I wouldn't be risking my job."

James nods slowly. "Like I said, I just don't have that kind of power."

It's times like this when I really wish I hadn't agreed to not hug James. I move to step out of his office, but as I do, I mutter a hushed, "Thank you, James."

His, "You're welcome," is just as quiet.

I shuffle over to my desk and take a seat, staring into my computer screen. When it hits me that I can still train with Ceecee, a beaming smile spreads across my face. Felicity skips over and sits on my desk. I look up to see her smiling down at me. "I told you he'd notice you. He just needed to see you at a different angle." She stands and starts skipping away. "White Rabbit this Sat.u.r.day?"

Typing in my computer pa.s.sword, I call out, "I'm there."

I don't see her, but I hear her singsong response. "Holla!"

Max When the elevator opens, I walk down the hall wearing a smile I thought was buried deep inside of me. Turns out, Helena found it and dug it out against my will. I lift my coffee to my lips as I walk into my office. Just as I move to sip, I still. An angry looking Asher and a stern-faced Nat are standing by my desk, obviously waiting for me. My eyes widen. I don't like this. I greet them hesitantly, "Hey, guys. What's up?"

Nat steps forward, crossing her arms over her chest. She stands tall and asks firmly, "What are your intentions with my sister?"

Well, s.h.i.t. And I thought it would be a good morning.

Ash takes two steps forward to stand by his wife. He looks down at her and says, "I'll handle this." He lifts his face to mine and narrows his brows. "What are your intentions with my sister?"

Asher can be a scary guy, if you haven't grown up with him. I place my coffee cup on the edge of my desk and respond on a smile, "I like her."

Nat's harsh face crumbles to reveal her beautiful smile. "You do?"

I smile harder and sigh dreamily. "She's incredible." I really mean it.

But Ash isn't having any of it. His jaw stiffens and I know he wants to punch me in the gut. Nat throws her hands up in the air a moment before jumping at me. I catch her at the last second. Her soft laugher tinkles in my ear. "Oh my G.o.d, this is so great! You'll come to California with us for vacation and stay at my parents' house, and when you get married, we'll be family! Not like the family we are now, but real family!" Nat pulls back, fixing my collar and grinning. "She'll be a great mom. She always wanted kids." She gasps dramatically then turns to Ash. "Can you imagine little MaLena babies running around?"

A look of confusion crossed Ash's face. "MaLena?"

Nat rolls her eyes at him as though he's stupid. "Max and Helena. Get with the program, babe."

Helena and me married? Little baby Helena's and Max Juniors? My heart starts to race. h.e.l.l to the no. Just as I lift my hand to argue the point, Nik arrives at my office door and jerks his chin towards Nat. "What's the crazy lady gasping about?"

I open my mouth to answer, but Nat cuts me off with a happy, "Max and Helena are getting married and having babies!"

Nik's eyes widen comically. "She's pregnant? Already?" He shakes his head. "Jesus, man. You sure don't f.u.c.k around."

That's it. I raise a hand and begin, "Whoa, man. She isn't pregnant." I turn to Nat. "And we aren't getting married." I face Ash. "But I like her, and we're taking it slow. All we're doing is dating. Everyone needs to relax."

I hate myself for thinking of Maddy right now. I remember how I felt when she left us. We never heard from her again, but I dug. I sincerely wished I hadn't when I found out she remarried and had two little boys of her own.

How can she do that? How can she live her life like we don't exist? Like we never existed?

This is why I don't normally date. I can't go through that again. It near killed me the first time around. I wonder how long it'll take Helena to realize a man with a disabled teenage child isn't what she's looking for.

Lucky this thing with Helena isn't serious.

Yeah, right.

Lucky we're keeping emotions out of this relationship.

Keep telling yourself that.

Lucky there's no risk of losing my heart again.

She's already in there, man.

Nat's face falls. She opens her mouth to speak, but closes it quickly. She takes a moment then tries again. When she speaks, it's quiet and cautious. "The last real boyfriend Helena had was senior year, and he hurt her, Max. He hurt her in a way that she was scared off dating." Hearing some douche hurt Helena makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. "'Til now. She really likes you, Max. She might deny how much she does, but I can see it. She likes you a lot." She breathes deep then replies on a whispered exhale, "Please don't hurt her."

Hurt her? Why can't anyone see it? She has the power to hurt me. And she will, when she's had enough of me. And even knowing that, I can't let her go. I'll be around for as long as she wants me. Helena can't love a guy like me.

Who wants a person with half a heart?

I wrap my hand around Nat and hug her. "I won't hurt her. I promise."

Smiling softly as she pulls away, she utters, "That's all I ask." She straightens. "Right. I have to get to work, but I'll see you all later."

She kisses Ash on the mouth, and kisses my cheek then Nik's as she leaves.

Ash turns to me. "I swear to G.o.d, man. I love that woman more than my own life, and she loves Helena more than her own. You hurt her," he looks me in the eye to show me how serious he is, "I will f.u.c.k you up."

Without a backward glance, he leaves me office, and I call out, "Noted."

Nik stands by the door, leaning against the frame. "Gotta admit I was surprised about Helena, but not that surprised."

Huh? "What do you mean?"

He tilts his head, brows raised. "She's gorgeous, she's funny, she's got experience working with kids like Ceecee, and she's got a good heart." My heart clenches painfully when he adds, "She's everything you deserve and more." He stands, then shrugs lightly. "So tell me why you're scared."

My brother. He sees all.

I sit on the edge of my desk, thinking about my answer. "I'm not scared."

Nik walks over to my desk and sits by my side. He nods lightly. "You're scared." I don't know what to say, because he's right. I am scared. The silence lasts only a moment before Nik utters, "Remember how miserable I was before Tina came along?"

Before Tina came along, Nik was a moody b.a.s.t.a.r.d who only used women for s.e.x. But Tina didn't want s.e.x. She wanted friendship. Up until then, Nik had never had a friend who also happened to be a girl. We gave him s.h.i.t about it, but I'm grateful for Tina. She gave Nik something I never thought I'd see in my life. She gave him a reason to live. "Yeah, I remember."

He nudges my shoulder with his. "Don't you want something like we have? Because you can have it. You've got a woman who could give you that, and she's right in front of you."

My throat thickens with emotion, and I hate myself for showing weakness. I dip my chin and whisper a strained, "I can't do it again, Nik."

He a.s.sures adamantly, "Yes, you can. A woman like that won't let you down. A woman like that will catch you if you happen to fall. A woman like Helena is hard to find, but easy to keep if you treat her well." He pauses a moment before stating, "She isn't Maddy."

I mutter, "Yeah, well I thought Maddy was all those things you just said, so I guess I'm not the best judge of character."

A sound of aggravation escapes him. "Dude, I know you don't remember things the way I do, so here it goes. I'm laying it out there, whether you want to hear it or not." He slides off the desk to stand in front of me. "Maddy was a whiny b.i.t.c.h. She always was."

My head snaps up in shock. "What?"

Nik sighs. "I know when you're in love you see the best in a person, but I wasn't in love with her. f.u.c.k, I barely liked her on the best of days. So I'm going to tell you, now after thirteen years, why Maddy was never good enough for you." Sitting there in shock, all I can do is listen as he starts, "When you first told me you were in love, I was rooting for you. I mean, it's not every day a young man comes to his brother to tell him he's met the one. I spent all night talking to you, telling you to bring her over so we could meet her. I remember how excited you were about it. The next day, you came home looking like someone s.h.i.t in your cereal, because Maddy wasn't ready to tell people about you." He looks down into my eyes. "That was her first strike. She acted like she was ashamed of you."

My brows furrow. "It wasn't like that. She wanted to make sure I was into her before she told her parents about us."

Nik rolls his eyes. "Oh yeah? What was stopping her from telling her friends? f.u.c.k knows you would've told everyone about her if she hadn't told you not to. I mean, c'mon. You spoke on the phone for months and declared your love for her on hundreds of occasions."

I never saw it like that. "Well, I guess. It was a long time ago."

He holds up a hand. "Secondly, when you guys were dating and she'd come to mom's, she'd always make a point to explain how she couldn't eat there because she'd already eaten, and she did this knowing mom would be cooking. She was rude like that. So she'd sit there like an a.s.shole watching everyone eat, and then complain to you about needing to get home, when really, she just didn't want to be around us. She didn't like us, and you'd always stick up for her."

I shake my head. "It's not that she didn't like you guys; it's just that her family was different from ours, you know? They weren't loud like we are. They were proper folk."

Nik's mouth gapes before he booms, "You're still sticking up for her!"

I wince as soon as I realize I totally am. "Sorry, bro. I guess old habits die hard."

His face turns soft. "The last thing I remember, and I'll never forgive her for this, was when she got pregnant..." his eyes close sadly, "...and she blamed you for it. She told you that you were trying to trap her, to keep her from leaving you, and that you never wanted her to go to college. She hated you for it. She resented you. But you were so d.a.m.n in love with her, you couldn't see through the sunshine shining out of her a.s.s."

I remain quiet. Everything he just said is true. She did blame me for getting her pregnant. She blamed me for missing her pill. She didn't want Ceecee. She never did.

Nik utters softly, "I'm sorry, bro, but that's the truth." He places a hand on my shoulder in a brotherly gesture of support. "According to Maddy, you were never good enough for her." He squeezes my shoulder then walks out, closing the door behind him.

I don't react for a long time. A long minute pa.s.ses before I reach across the table with a shaking hand and pick up my coffee mug. I grit my teeth and grip it tight before hurling it across the room. I watch as it hits the wall, smashing into pieces and splattering coffee across the white surface.

Breathing hard, my body shakes with uncontrollable rage.

Panting, I whisper a shaky, "I hate you, Maddy."

Helena My body itches. I scratch absently at my chest as my leg bounces under the desk. I'm having withdrawals. Reaching across the table, I pick up my cell and type quickly.

Me: Excuse me, oh bringer of many an o.r.g.a.s.m, you need to call Icing on the Cake and have me UNBANNED! I need cupcakes...stat!

His response comes immediately.

Max: Cupcake, I thought I was all the sugar you needed.

I can't help but snicker. The a.s.s.

Me: Although you are magically delicious, this is not a joke. I'm having withdrawals. I'm itchy and red, and I'm grouchy. You don't want me to be grouchy to my clients, do you?

A minute later, my phone pings.