I clear my throat and he looks up at me with a lazy smile. "Hey."

I motion to his laptop. "You almost done? Dinner's ready."

"Yeah, I'm done." He removes his gla.s.ses, placing them down on the table.

My feet move of their own accord until I'm right in front of him. I pick the gla.s.ses up off the table, lift them, and gently place them back on his head. I state softly, "Don't take them off. They look good on you."

I turn to walk away, but he snags my wrist and yanks. I land on his lap and his long, muscular arms wrap around me, holding me in place. I don't fight him this time. I've seen him with the other girls. I know this is how he is. It doesn't seem right for me to ask him to be someone else around me. He's right. I'm just going to have to get used to it. He asks quietly, "How'd it go?"

I feign boredom. "Oh, you know. We cooked. We talked. We had fun. Girls stuff." My eyes smile down at him. "She agreed to cooking lessons and exercise sessions three times a week. But only if I come to Sunday breakfasts with you guys, so please tell me that's after ten am, because otherwise, I might just cry."

I expect something. A smile. A laugh. A victorious hi-five. I get nothing. Instead, his arms tighten around me. He closes his eyes and drops his forehead to my shoulder. He holds me for a long while and I lift my hand to rub his forearm. I'm not sure why, but it feels as though he needs comfort right now.

I give him his moment before gently removing his hands and standing. I make my way to the kitchen to find Ceecee has already put together plates and cutlery. She moves out of the kitchen, and as she pa.s.ses me, I can't help myself. I lean down and kiss her head. "You did good, sweetie."

She smiles up at me. "I had a good teacher."

If there ever was a compliment to receive from a child, that would be the one. My stupid nose tingles, and before I start blubbering like a loon, I quickly take the dish of nachos off the stove and move it into the dining room. Max sits while Ceecee places the plates down. He looks to the dish I place in the middle of the table and grins. When she pa.s.ses him the next time, he quickly grabs a handle and pulls her chair backward. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and utters, "This looks good, baby girl. My mouth's watering. Feed me."

When she mutters an unsure, "Thanks, Daddy," he kisses her cheek and lets her go.

Heart fluttering, I sit at the table and look around me. A small smile graces my lips. I quickly realize there is no place I'd rather be.

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Helena I'm p.i.s.sed.

Stupid brain.

After last night's dinner, I decided it was too late to do a session with Ceecee. Not only that, but we'd eaten our weight in nachos. Ceecee had done such a great job with cooking that I'd gone back for seconds. And it wasn't even sympathy seconds. The nachos were good.

Watching Max eat was something else. I had seen him eat before, but I never really noticed the little noises he makes when he's eating something he enjoys. His small murmurs of approval, his discreet nods, and furrowed brows of concentration-it was almost as if he was having a conversation with his dinner. And, of course, it was completely adorable. The a.s.s.

We showered compliments to the chef, and from her shy smile and neon pink blush, I think she liked that. When I asked her what days she'd like me to come over, she looked at her dad, then back to me and responded, "You can come any day after five pm." She suddenly looked nervous, but added quietly, "And you don't have to come just three days. If you don't have anything to do or whatever, you can come here."

My body stilled in stunned disbelief. Was this Ceecee's way of telling me we are friends? I believed it was. Not being able to stop myself and craving the affections of this little creature, I leaned down, wrapped my arms around her, and told her, "I will definitely keep that in mind, sweetie." As I pulled away, I added, "I'd hate for you to get sick of me though."

She lowered her eyes and mumbled, "That won't happen." And my heart soared.

Max told Ceecee to get her things then, and confusion settled over me. Then I remembered what Max had told me the other night about Ceecee not wanting to be at home, about her avoiding him. She was likely going to sleep at Nik and Tina's. Ceecee looked up at her dad. She didn't move. When she spoke softly, I melted on the floor in a big puddle of sap. "Actually, Daddy, I think I might stay here tonight."

To say Max looked surprised was a complete understatement. He looked like he might just break into interpretive dance. They dropped me off at home and I thanked them for dinner. When I made my way inside, I couldn't stop smiling. And as soon as I turned on the light, glancing around my very empty apartment, I couldn't help but feel a loss.

I didn't understand it. I had always been the type of person who was able to entertain myself, and do it happily. I liked my alone-time. So why did being alone right now feel so...lonely?

I avoided being attacked by Tedwood by catching him mid-attack and dropping him out into the hall. I made my way to the bathroom and showered before bed. As my soapy hands roamed over my body, I imagined another set of hands on me. A large, masculine set of hands that would explore me, a pair of golden eyes looking into me, and a s.e.xy dimple I wanted to lick taunting me. My palms glanced over my nipples and my body convulsed.

I was panting. My stomach dipped. I was already there. My hand slid down my belly, down further, lower to my spread legs. My fingers glided over my c.l.i.t, and my legs became weak. Leaning my head on the tiled wall of the shower, my touch firmed. I rubbed harder over my swollen bud, images of s.e.x a.s.saulting my mind. Max's mouth on me, all over. His hands gripping me tight. His c.o.c.k deep inside of me, thrusting hard enough to make me whimper.

Holy s.h.i.t.

My body jerked. I felt it happening. A sweet numbness swept over me. Gentle tingles. .h.i.t my core. I tipped my head back, mouth parted in a delicious wave of pleasure. My fingers worked harder, harder, the tingles intensifying, and then I was there. A long moan was torn from deep in my throat as my p.u.s.s.y convulsed, over and over. I cupped myself. My body jerked uncontrollably. Then suddenly, I was tired.

I stayed in the shower longer than I should have, glued to the spot. After I rinsed myself a second time, I stepped out, got dressed feeling like a tramp, and went to bed, my loneliness eating away at me.

There was only one place I wanted to be, and it wasn't home.

And that's why I've spent most of my night awake making three trays of breakfast m.u.f.fins, eating whatever I had in the house, and getting angry with myself. Sure, it's not my fault I was forced into a friendship with Ceecee. It's Max's. So, really, I should be angry at Max. My face softens.

Who could ever be angry at Max?

I stomp my foot on the ground, ball my hands into fists, and growl. d.a.m.n him. I have never been so befuddled before. Part of me is ecstatic that I'm breaking through Ceecee's wall, the other part of me is p.i.s.sed that Max is breaking through mine. How was I ever meant to keep my heart safe?

Max is a good guy, down to his core. He's a great dad, and the type of friend any person would count herself lucky to have. Let's be honest here. I never stood a chance. Shaking my head in frustration, I take the three full containers of m.u.f.fins and place one in my freezer. I open my apartment door, write on my little portable whiteboard, and make my way across the hall. My finger presses the b.u.t.ton at the side of the door. A few seconds pa.s.s before it opens.

Mrs. Crandle looks up at me through her c.o.ke-bottle gla.s.ses. Smiling, I hand her a container full of m.u.f.fins and hold the board up for her to read. 'Good morning, Mrs. Crandle. I made these for you. I'm on my way to work, so I can't stay and chat, but I promise to come over for tea again!'

Her eyes follow my words. She looks up at me and smiles softly, taking the container. "Why, thank you, dear." Her smile turns sad. "You're a good egg, Helena."

Walking backwards, I quickly write, 'I'll come by soon.'

She answers quietly, "That would be lovely, dear."

I turn, raise my hand, and knock on Nat's door. No one answers. I lift my hand to knock again when guilt a.s.saults me. She and Ash wouldn't need to wake up so early if it weren't for me. If I had a car, they'd be able to sleep in, and lord knows when the babies get here they won't be doing much of that anymore. Guilt seeps from my pores. I'm a s.h.i.tty sister. I lower my hand, walk down the stairs, and lift my cell to my ear. He answers immediately, "Hey, everything okay?"

I silently cringe. "You wouldn't happen to be going past my place, would you?"

He doesn't hesitate. "I'm about three minutes away. Meet you in the parking lot."

I let out a relived breath. "Thank you."

A few minutes later, he pulls up and rolls down the window to tease, "Hey, I'm not going to get roughed up again, am I?"

I snort. "James Whittaker, you bite your tongue. As if I would let that happen. Besides, the bear is still asleep."

My m.u.f.fins and I slide inside and we drive on. I look over at him and smile to myself. Reaching over, I scratch at his bald head with my nails and he leans into it. "You need luck?"

Chuckling, I scratch harder. "Bucket loads of it." I pull away and utter, "Thanks for the ride. I really need to get a car."

He looks over at me, eyes searching my face. He frowns a little. "You look a little off today. Everything okay?"

James. He doesn't skip a beat. I open the container of m.u.f.fins and break one in half. Nibbling at one half, I shrug. "I don't know. I mean, I thought I was fine...until last night. I think," I sigh, "this is going to sounds stupid, but I think..." G.o.d, I'm such a loser. "...I think I'm lonely."

As we stop at a traffic light, James turns to me. Without asking, he takes a m.u.f.fin out of the container and bites into it. His eyes glaze over. "Man, that's good." He makes another noise of pleasure before stating, "That's not unusual. Remember, I told you I moved here myself?" I nod. The traffic lights change and he looks to the road before adding, "Same thing happened to me. It's a mixture of things though, isn't it? It's being homesick and away from your friends. It's not being able to step outside and visit people, because you barely know anyone. It's being single too, right?"

My eyes widen. "Wow. You really do know what I'm talking about."

His lips thin. "Yep, I do. I never told you this, but I wouldn't have stayed long if my mom and brother hadn't moved down here. It's hard being away from people you love. Lucky, you've got your sister and her extended family here. Can I ask you something?"

Looking over at him, I tell him, "You can ask me anything." And I mean it.

"Why are you single?"

It takes me a moment to answer, because regardless of how many times I've justified staying out of a relationship, putting it into words is always harder. "When I love someone, I love them with everything I have inside of me. And when I love someone, I put their needs above my own." I look at the road ahead. My chest pangs as I explain, "I can't afford to do that. I worked so hard to get here, James. I remember while all my friends were going out, I was home studying my a.s.s off. While my sisters were celebrating the end of the year with drinks and clubs, I was home studying my a.s.s off. When people were meeting the people they would spend the rest of their lives with, I was home studying my a.s.s off." I take in a deep breath and add on an exhale, "I won't give up what I'm doing, not for anyone. That's why I'm single."

"Sounds like a lonely life," he mutters sadly.

Leaning my head against the window, I whisper, "It is, James. It really is."

We drive on in silence, and I'm thankful for it.

Max "What's going on with you and Helena?" Ash asks as he walks into the chill out room.

I tilt my head and think about this for a moment before I state with a nod, "I like her."

Ash pulls out a chair and turns it around before sitting on it and rolling his eyes. "You like yogurt. You don't like Helena."

I look down at my now-empty container of yogurt on the table. I smile in agreement. "I do like yogurt."

"He does," Trick cuts in from reading the paper on the sofa. I turn to find him smiling up at Ash like a fool. "He likes yogurt."

My body shakes in silent laughter. Ash shakes his head in frustration. "Whatever." He looks me in the eye. "Stay away from her."

I lift my hands in the air. "I can't do that, Ghost."

His jaw tics. "What do you mean, you can't? You can, and you will, if you like your teeth."

Standing, I pick up my empty container and dump it in the trash. "Seriously, dude, I can't. She's agreed to doing private sessions with Ceecee." I shrug. "No can do."

His eyes turn deadly. "Keep your hands off of her."

I tilt my head and think about this a moment before answering, "No."

I walk out the door as he calls out in disbelief, "What did you say?"

Smirking, and knowing it's killing him inside, I call back, "I said no." I walk down to my office, chuckling all the way.

Suck on them apples, Asher.

Helena "So when I told him we wouldn't be having relations anymore until he left his wife, he got all kinds of p.i.s.sed with me. What? Like I'm the a.s.shole, because I want to be some guy's everything? Puh-leeze," mutters Felicity.

Holy s.h.i.tb.a.l.l.s, this girl is my hero. She knows what she wants, and she makes no excuses about what she's got to do to get it. Her life is a D-grade soap opera. Mouth gaping, I nudge her hand. "Then what happened?"

Her eyes round comically. She blinks prettily. "Somehow, his wife found about his sleazy ways. She got photos in the mail. Anonymously, of course." She closely examines her nails, then murmurs, "I mean, the tall blonde just happened to be blurred out, but she got the picture loud and clear. Pun intended." She winks. "His o.r.g.a.s.m face is so ugly he couldn't be confused for anyone else."

A choked sound escapes me. Laughter bubbles up my throat 'til it bursts out of me, loud and uninhibited. Patrons of the cafe turn around to stare at me, and normally, I'd care, but this is just too funny for me to give half a d.a.m.n. Wiping at stray tears that roll down my cheeks, I tell Felicity, "You're amazing, you know that? And to think I thought you were some du-"

Warning! Warning! Foot meeting mouth at rapid speed!

Felicity narrows her eyes at me. "Some what?"

Uh oh. I have no doubt in my mind that Felicity could beat the ever-loving c.r.a.p out of me if she needed to. But she is my friend, and friends tell each other the truth. Wincing, I mumble, "Might've thought you were a bit of a bimbo. Sorry, babe."

Tipping her head back, she laughs at my obvious discomfort. "Oh man, the look on your face. I know what I look like, Lena," she thickens her New York accent dramatically, flicks her bleached-blonde hair, and puts on her best duck-face impression, "but I'm glad ya realized I ain't got s.h.i.t for brains."

Smiling, I tell her honestly, "You're one of the most kicka.s.s women I know, Flick."

She bunches her nose. "Nawww, I love you too...cupcake."

My body stills as my eyes widen. Leaning over to her, I hiss, "Where did you hear that?"

She grins. "I might've heard Max say it to you." My head lands on the table with a thud and she chuckles. "Why does he call you that anyways?"

I lift my head from the table and mumble, "He says I smell like cupcakes."

Her face softens. She lifts a hand to her chest and sighs. "Wow. That is so adorably Max."

I mutter a disgruntled, "I know."

She grins. "I gotta tell ya; I tried to catch that man." My eyes widen. Really? She shakes her head sadly. "He did not want to be caught. Such a shame."

I blink at her shoulder and murmur, "Oh yeah, such a shame."

She lifts her gla.s.s and sips at her ice water. "So how long you been crushing on him?"

Lifting my own gla.s.s to my lips, I pause midway. "What?"

"Max," she prompts, "how long you been gaga for him?"

I could lie. I could tell her I don't like him. That I never noticed his strong jaw and golden eyes, or his magic dimple. But I cave. Sipping my iced tea, I confess, "For forever. The first time I met him at Tina's wedding, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven." A soft sigh escapes me. "We were introduced and I stuck out my hand." A small smile tips my lips. "He looked down at my outstretched hand and shoved it aside. He swept me up in a bear hug and swung me from side to side. I remember breathing in his scent. It wasn't even cologne. It was just him. When he set me down, he kissed my cheek and told me I looked beautiful."

I breathe, "I honestly thought I had fallen in love. I thought I had met the man of my dreams." I straighten as my smile falls. "But then I saw him do the same thing when he met my older sister, Nina, and it didn't feel so special anymore. Plus, I threw myself at him at Nat's wedding." I smile sadly and shrug. "He didn't even look up from his phone. He dismissed me, and to top it off, he called me Helen."

Felicity winces. "Ouch."

I use my straw to mix my drink. "He didn't even see me."

"Well, then," a slow smile spreads across Felicity's face, "we'll just have to open his eyes."