Bill and Marion Neal and their eight-year-old daughter Patsy had been driving all day when they passed the roadside stand that advertised: FRESH EGGS, HONEY, FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLES, FRESH CATFISH, COLD DRINKS.

They were thirsty, so Bill turned around and went back. When they got out, nobody was there; but they saw two old men in overalls sitting under a huge water oak tree, out behind the stand. One of the men got up and started walking toward them.

"Hi there, folks. What can I do for you today?"

When she heard the voice, Marion realized it was not an old man but an old woman with snow-white hair and brown, weatherbeaten skin. "We'd like three Coca-Colas, please."

Patsy was staring at the jars of honey lined up on the shelf.

While the old woman was opening the three frosty Cokes, Patsy pointed to one of the jars of honey and asked, "What's in that jar?"

"Why, that's honeycomb, right out of the hive. Haven't you ever seen that before?"

Patsy was fascinated. "No ma'am."

"Where are you folks from?"

Marion said, "Birmingham."

"Well, I'll be. I used to live in a little town just on the other side. You've probably never heard of it: little place called Whistle Stop."

Bill said, "Oh sure. Where the railroad yards used to be. They had a barbecue joint out there, as I remember."

The old woman smiled. "That's right."

Bill pointed to her sign. "Didn't know you got catfish down this far."

"Sure we do, saltwater cat, but I don't have any today."

She looked at the little blond girl to see if she was listening. "Last week I caught one, but it was so big we couldn't pull it out of the water."

Patsy said, "Really?"

The old woman's blue eyes sparkled. "Oh, yes indeed. As a matter of fact, that catfish was so big, we took a picture of it, and the picture alone weighed forty pounds."

The little girl cocked her head to one side, trying to figure it out. "Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. But if you don't believe me ..." She turned around and called up to the old man in the yard, "Hey, Julian! Go in the house and bring me that picture of the catfish we caught last week."

He called back lazily, "Cain't do it ... it's too heavy for me to carry. Might hurt my back ..."

"See, I told you."

Bill laughed and Marion paid for the drinks. They were about to go when Patsy pulled at her mother's dress. "Momma, can we please get a jar of honey?"

"Sweetheart, we've got plenty of honey at home."

"Please, Momma, we don't have any with honeycomb. Please?"

Marion looked at her for a moment and then gave in. "How much is the honey?"

"The honey? Well, let's see." The old woman started counting on her fingers, and then said, "You're not gonna believe this, but you hit it lucky, because today ... it's absolutely free."

Patsy's eyes got wide. "Really?"

"That's right."

Marion said, "Oh, I feel terrible about not paying you anything. Won't you let me give you a little something, at least?"

The old woman shook her head. "No, it's free. You won it, fair and square. You don't know this, but your little girl, here, just happens to be my one millionth customer this month."

"I AM?"

"That's right, my one millionth."

Marion smiled at the old woman. "Well, if you insist. Patsy, what do you say?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. And listen, Patsy, if you ever get anywhere around these parts again, you be sure and look me up, y'hear?"

"Yes ma'am, I will."

As they pulled out, Bill tooted his horn and the little girl waved goodbye.

The old woman stood on the side of the road and waved back until the car was out of sight.

The end.

2 cups flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 teaspoons salt teaspoon soda cup Crisco 1 cup buttermilk Sift dry ingredients together. Add Crisco and blend well until like fine meal. Add buttermilk and mix. Roll out thin and cut into desired size biscuit. Bake in greased pan at 450 degrees until golden brown.

Naughty Bird's favorite!

SKILLET CORNBREAD.

teaspoon baking soda 1 cups buttermilk 2 cups cornmeal, sifted 1 teaspoon salt 1 egg 1 tablespoon melted bacon fat Dissolve soda in buttermilk. Mix the cornmeal with salt, egg, and buttermilk. Add hot, melted bacon fat. Pour into greased iron skillet and bake at 375 degrees until done.

So good, it will kill you.

COCONUT CREAM PIE.

3 egg yolks cup sugar teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons cornstarch 1 tablespoon melted butter 2 cups scalded milk 1 cup grated coconut 1 teaspoon vanilla or rum teaspoon nutmeg 9-inch pie shell, baked Beat egg yolks. Beat in sugar, salt, cornstarch, and butter gradually. Pour in milk and blend. Cook over boiling water, stirring constantly until thick. Add coconut, and cool. Add flavoring and nutmeg and pour into shell. Cover with meringue and bake 15 to 20 minutes in 300-degree oven.

Yum, yum.

PECAN PIE.

9-inch pie shell, unbaked 2 cups pecans, chopped 1 cup sugar, brown or white 1 cup light corn syrup 1 tablespoon flour 1 teaspoon vanilla teaspoon salt 3 eggs 2 tablespoons butter Line the pie shell with chopped pecans. Combine the sugar, corn syrup, flour, vanilla, and salt and mix until blended. Beat in the eggs one at a time, mixing well each time. Pour into the nut-lined pie shell, and dot with butter. Bake at 350 degrees until firm-about 1 hour.

Sinful stuff-Stump's favorite.

SIPSEY'S SOUTHERN-FRIED CHICKEN 1 good-sized fryer Salt and pepper Milk 1 cups sifted flour Cut chicken into serving pieces. Rub well with salt and pepper. Let stand awhile. Then soak in milk about hour. Put flour, a little salt and pepper, and chicken into a bag, and shake well until every piece is coated. Fry in hot, deep fat at 400 degrees, until golden brown. Leave heavy pieces in fat a little longer than the smaller ones.

So long, Mr. Chicken.

CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS.

2 cups white flour 3 teaspoons baking soda 1 teaspoon salt cup milk cup Crisco oil 1 pot of chicken stew Mix flour, baking soda, and salt together. Then add milk and oil. Spoon-drop into boiling stew, cook for 15 minutes, turning dumplings often.

Should float off the fork.

FRIED HAM WITH RED-EYE GRAVY.

Slice ham about inch thick. Cook slowly in a heavy frying pan until evenly browned on both sides. Sprinkle each side lightly with sugar during cooking. Remove the ham and keep it warm, then add about cup of cold water or a cup of coffee. Let it boil until gravy turns red. Blend and pour over the ham.

Good eats!

GRITS.

2 tablespoons butter 1 teaspoon salt 5 cups boiling water 1 cup hominy grits Add lots of butter and salt to the boiling water. Slowly stir in the grits. Cover and cook slowly for about 30 to 40 minutes, and stir till you like it.

Keeps you regular.

FRIED CATFISH.

2 pounds catfish, cleaned and skinned cup sifted flour Salt and pepper to taste cup yellow cornmeal 3 tablespoons bacon fat or Crisco Wipe the fish with a damp cloth. Mix the flour, salt, pepper and cornmeal. Roll Mr. Catfish in the mixture and fry in hot bacon fat until golden brown on one side. Then turn and brown the other side. Total cooking time about 8 to 10 minutes.

Thank God for catfish!

MILK GRAVY.

Use hot drippings from chicken or pork chops. For each 3 tablespoons of drippings, stir in 3 tablespoons of flour and blend well. Cook and stir until lightly browned. Gradually add 1 to 2 cups hot milk. Cook and stir until thickened.

Goes with everything.

PORK CHOPS & GRAVY.

4 slices bacon 4 large thick pork chops cup flour Salt and pepper 1 cups milk Fry the bacon first, then dip the chops in flour, with salt and pepper. Save what's left of the flour. Fry your chops in the hot bacon drippings until brown on both sides. Turn down heat, cover, and cook till chops are tender and thoroughly cooked-about 30 minutes. Stir your leftover flour into the fat and cook until browned. Pour the milk over the chops and simmer until gravy is thickened.

Big George could eat eight at a time.

SNAP BEANS.

1 hambone, cooked 2 pounds snap beans 1 teaspoon sugar, brown or granulated A few hot red pepper flakes Salt to taste Place hambone in pot and add water to cover beans. Bring to a boil. String the beans and snap or cut into desired lengths. Add to the pot along with the sugar and pepper flakes. Cook over medium heat for 1 hour.

Happy beans ... fun to eat.

SIPSEY'S BLACK-EYED PEAS 1 cups dried black-eyed peas 4 cups water 1 onion, chopped 1 piece salt pork or 8 pieces bacon A little red pepper Put all the ingredients together in a pot and cook slowly until tender-about 3 hours.

Even better the next day!

CREAMED CORN.

6 ears sweet white corn 2 tablespoons butter -1 cup milk and water Salt and pepper Cut corn off cob, then scrape the cob down with the back of a knife to get what's left. Cook with butter over low heat and slowly add milk and water and salt and pepper till you like it. Stir for 10 minutes till just right.

Good for you.

LIMA BEANS & BUTTER BEANS.

1 quart fresh beans Salt and pepper to taste 1 piece salt pork or 6 pieces bacon Add water just up to the top of the beans. Let it come to a boil, then simmer until tender. Add salt and pepper till you like it.

Right out of the Victory garden.

CANDIED YAMS.

cup butter cup brown sugar, packed 6 medium-sized sweet potatoes, cooked, peeled, and sliced teaspoon salt cup water 2 pinches cinnamon In a heavy frying pan or skillet, heat together butter and brown sugar until melted and blended. Add the sliced sweet potatoes and turn until coated in the syrup and brown. Add salt, water, and cinnamon, cover, and cook slowly until potatoes are tender.

Sweeter than candy.

FRIED OKRA.

Wash your okra well and cut off the stems. Cut pods into sections about inch long. Roll in cornmeal and fry in hot bacon drippings and deep hot fat until a nice crisp brown. Drain on paper towel, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and serve hot.

Better than popcorn.

TURNIP & COLLARD GREENS.

Wash greens well and take the leaves, roots, and stems off from the collards. Boil a hambone or some fatback or bacon. Add greens, a red pepper pod, and salt, pepper, and sugar to taste. Cover tightly and cook until greens are tender. Drain and place on serving platter; reserve the liquid. Serve the liquid as "pot likker" to dunk your cornbread in.

Will cure what ails you!

FRIED GREEN TOMATOES.

1 medium green tomato (per person) Salt Pepper White cornmeal Bacon drippings Slice tomatoes about inch thick, season with salt and pepper and then coat both sides with cornmeal. In a large skillet, heat enough bacon drippings to coat the bottom of the pan and fry tomatoes until lightly browned on both sides.

You'll think you died and gone to heaven!

FRIED GREEN TOMATOES WITH MILK GRAVY.

3 tablespoons bacon fat 4 firm green tomatoes, sliced inch thick Beaten eggs Dry bread crumbs Flour Milk Salt Pepper Heat your bacon fat in a heavy frying pan. Dip tomatoes in eggs, then in bread crumbs. Slowly fry them in the bacon fat until golden brown on both sides. Put your tomatoes on a plate. For each tablespoon of fat left in the pan, stir in 1 tablespoon of flour and blend well; then stir in 1 cup warm milk and cook until thickened, stirring constantly. Add salt and pepper till you like it. Pour over the tomatoes and serve hot.

The best there is.

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