Did that mean he believed me?

She would have told me if she did.

I admired his trust in Monnique. If someone told me Janice was sleeping around, Id immediately confront her about it and flip the fuck out. I wouldnt be calm like Cortland. But thats what made him a way better man than I was. Maybe shes afraid to He returned his hands to his mouth, thinking.

I know this is hard to take in, but I know what I heard. He said he saw them together. Like, actually saw them. He didnt hear this from someone else like it was a piece of gossip.

He leaned back in the booth. I just want to make sure I have all the information before I confront her and accuse her of something like this.

I understand, I said gently. ButI think its pretty obvious she cheated. You even said she was passed out when you picked her up.

He suddenly flinched. She had powder on her nose I thought it was sugar.

I didnt say anything.

But there might still be an explanation for that.

Cortland, I dont mean to be an ass but you need to prepare for the worst. You even said youve been having problems lately. And the girls even say shes been different. Maybe she was partying too hard and it got out of hand. I dont know. But dont just sweep it under the rug.

Im not, he snapped. Im trying to be objective here. Monnique is the love of my life, and even though shes been a damn bitch lately, I know she wouldnt hurt me like that. Just because weve been struggling doesnt mean our relationship is dead. Every couple has their dark times. I know Monnique better than you, and I have a really hard time believing the truth in your story. But that doesnt mean I wont question her about it. I know shell tell me the truth.

I backed off. Okay. Im sorry.

Cortland stared out the window again.

Im here for you, no matter what she says.

I know, he whispered.

And for what its worth, I hope Im totally wrong.

I know that too.

Conversations from nearby tables filled the room. Our silence stretched. People laughed and threw fries at each other. The world continued around us, but Cortland and I stayed still in our moment in time. I saw the fight in his eyes. The distress over the situation was weighing him down, but the pragmatic side of him was holding strong. He always chose to see the good in people even when it wasnt there. I just hoped that wouldnt bite him in the ass now.

5.

Cortland Did she really do that to me? Would she? I just couldnt believe it. After everything Ive done for her, been the perfect boyfriend, this is how it went down? It just didnt sound right. I knew she loved me. It was impossible that she would hurt me like that. It couldnt be true.

She was supposed to quit her job today, and I waited for her to call me to see if she went through with it. My phone rang an hour after I got off work. I answered it quicker than I normally did.

Hello?

Hey, she said.

Did you quit? I blurted. If she didnt, I was done with her.

Yes.

Howd it go?

Shane was upset but he understood.

Did he give you a hard time about it? The threat was in my voice.

No.

Okay.

I really want to see you, she said. Can I come by?

Ill come to your apartment. If this conversation didnt go well, I wanted to leave her rather than kick her out.

Okay. Youre coming?

Ill be there soon. I hung up without saying goodbye. I guess I was a little mad that we had to have this conversation at all. There was a little doubt inside me. She changed a lot after she started modeling. Maybe her commitment to me had too.

When I arrived at her apartment, she opened the door without waiting for me to knock. Hey. She wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tightly. Im so sorry about everything. Thank you for giving me another chance.

When she did things like this, I couldnt imagine the accusation being true. I just couldnt. We need to talk.

She pulled away, fear in her eyes. I did as you asked. I quit my job and Im not going back there. I love you and Im sorry for everything I said and did. I wont act that way anymore. Im sorry. Tears welled up in her eyes. Im so sorry. She was about to break.

Calm down, I said gently.

Please dont leave me. A few tears escaped.

I hated seeing her cry. It broke my heart every time. Im not. I just want to talk about something.

She took a deep breath then wiped her tears away. Im sorry. I didnt mean to freak out like that I just know Ive pushed you to the edge and Im afraid Im going to do something to make you fall over.

I took her hand and pulled her into the apartment. Well see Okay I gave her a firm look, the threat in my eyes. I heard a rumor about you. And I sincerely hope it was just a rumor and nothing more.

What?

Someone said you hook up with that model friend in the bathroom. I watched her expression, watching her eyes flick back and forth in alarm. Her lips tightened, and her chest rose and fell with increased breathing. Did you?

With Cash? she asked.

Yeah. I stared her down. Did you?

She looked down and crossed her arms over her chest.

The fact she wasnt answering frightened me. I asked you a question. I know you wont lie to me.

Her eyes bubbled with tears. When I got there, I started drinking and we had a good time. I vaguely remember him arriving hours later. He had a bag of powder. Everyone started taking hitsand I think I did too. The last thing I remember is feeling a credit card between my fingers. I dont remember anything happening with Cash, but he knew I had a boyfriend so I dont see how that would happen.

So, you dont even know? The anger was in my voice.

IIm pretty sure I didnt but I cant completely rule it out since I dont remember much. She gave me a fearful look. You know I would never cheat on you with anyone knowingly.

I shook my head, feeling the rage course through me. That response is even worse than you just saying yes.

What?

The fact you dont know is unacceptable. You dont know if some guy fucked you in the bathroom? Really?

The tears fell down her face. Ill call him and ask.

I flipped her table over then stepped away, afraid I might accidently hurt her. I dont want to know.

Cortland"

Shut the fuck up. I gripped my skull and paced the room. Im done with you, Monnique. Were over.

What? she asked. Thats not fair! Let me call him.

No! I dont want a girlfriend that cant even protect herself. I liked the strong and independent woman you used to be even though I didnt like you going out alone. But I knew you were smart and could take care of yourself. But thisI cant handle this. I dont trust you.

No She gripped herself tightly. I quit and I wont talk to anyone from the magazine again. I wont drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live. Ill do anything to make this right, Cortland. Im sorry. I let the fame get to me and it changed me. I just made a mistake.

I couldnt look at her. Ive been trying to keep this relationship together for months, but youve been off doing whatever the hell youre doing. So, we havent really been together. Im either in the relationship or you are, but it never happens at the same time. And Im done trying. I felt the anger shake my limbs.

Cortland, let me call him.

I dont want to know!

Please.

I headed to the door, ready to get the fuck out of there.

She threw herself against it. If he says yes, Ill let you leave and wont try to stop you. I wont show my face around you ever again. I wont chase you. I wouldnt deserve you if I did that. But if he says noI want to talk this through.

Get out of my way.

She didnt budge. Please. She sniffed.

I dont want to hurt you. I knew the menace was in my eyes.

Then youre going to have to because Im not moving. She met my look without any fear. She called my bluff.

I crossed my arms over my chest. If he says yes, you let me go.

Okay. She pulled out her phone and called him. She put it on speaker so I could hear.

He answered, sounding like a pretentious asshole. Wad up?

Its Monnique.

Hey, girl. This is a pleasant surprise.

I need to ask you something and Im a little embarrassed that I need to. She kept the tears out of her voice even though they fell down her face.

Yes, its really ten inches.

I hated this guy even more now.

When we were out the other night at the clubdid we hook up in the bathroom? I cant remember.

Well, if we did, I would have remembered. He laughed over the receiver. But I hooked up with that new girl, Lila. Shes got that caramel skin like you do. Hey, we should"

She hung up then dropped the phone.

I didnt realize how tense I was until I finally relaxed. My whole world was going to fall apart if he said yes. I was going to go on a rampage, hanging him from his closet by a hanger. If Monnique cheated on me with someone, I didnt know what I would do My faith in humanity would have been broken. Id spiral out of control worse than Mike.

She finally looked at me. I know Lila. She and I look similar. I understand why your friend accidently confused us.

I didnt speak. I was still recovering from the news.

I quit my job and Im going back to nursing. I apologized for everything and took the blame for all my behavior, and I will be patient with you while we work on this relationship. But please dont leave me. If you didnt love me, you would have left a long time ago. Dont give up now.

Relationships shouldnt be this hard We were happy for a year. This is the first time anything bad has ever happened. We can work through it.

You dumped me because I slept with Scarlet before I even knew you. Shouldnt I dump you for being in a situation where you could have been taken advantage by a punk like Cash?

Yes.

I was surprised by her honesty.

But I didnt sleep with him, Cortland. I went down the wrong path and made a bunch of stupid decisions. I let everything go to my head. Im not denying that. But Im here now and I want to work my ass off to make this relationship work.

I gripped my skull then paced the room. The stress was killing me. I just wanted to be happy again. Was I pursuing a relationship that would never work? Was I just wasting more time, making the break up harder? I need a break A break? she asked.

I just want to get my emotions together. I cant be a boyfriend right now.

What does that mean?

If I give this another shot, itll be the last one. If something else comes up, Im gone. I dont care if its years from now.

Thats understandable But I need time right now. Youve dragged my emotions through the mud and Im so depressed, in so much pain, that I cant even function. I felt my tears bubble and fall. I cant Monnique sobbed when she saw me break down. She rushed to my arms and held me tightly. Im so sorry.

I rested my face in the crook of her neck and collapsed.