"I guess I'm slow."

"I didn't mean it like that," I added quickly. "It's just . . . you spend so long playing, aren't you interested in knowing about cla.s.sic maneuvers, and defensive plays?"

Ed stared at his pieces for a moment and then toppled his king roughly.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I figured you weren't paying attention."

He stood up and grabbed his bag. "Yeah, well, at least I'm not alone, then."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"G.o.d, Piper. Dumb died on Seattle Today Seattle Today. Anyone could see that. And the only reason my parents didn't ground me is because I promised them the band was over."

"Why do they care?"

"Are you serious? They care because my grades are falling, and they never see me anymore. I have an audition at Peabody in the middle of February, but I don't even have time to practice. I haven't had a marimba lesson in a month."

"So why did you say you want to keep the band going?" I shot back defensively.

"I didn't, at first. But then you made me, and I didn't want to let you down."

"So everything is my my fault?" fault?"

Ed shook his head. "Look, Piper, however bad the past two days have been for you, they've been a whole lot worse for me. A quarter of a million people have watched me getting my a.s.s whipped on YouTube. And if that wasn't bad enough, I waited by your car for an hour after the security guards threw me out of the studio. You were supposed to give me a ride back to school, but you never showed up. I caught a bus, but school was almost over, so they gave me my first ever detention."

I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that."

"And until now you hadn't thought about it either."

He was right, of course, and I felt terrible. "I really am sorry."

"It's okay," he said, too decent to remain angry even when it was called for. He looked at the chessboard. "Look, I didn't ask for any of this. All I wanted was ..."

"What?"

His mouth was open, but the words just weren't there. "Nothing." He didn't look back on his way out the door.

It was the first time we'd argued. And something told me it had nothing to do with my hair.

CHAPTER 46.

There was only one message in my in-box that afternoon when I got home, but it was from Marissa, so I opened it right away. I figured that I might as well deal with all fractured friendships on the same day.

Surprisingly the e-mail was an apology-for not being in touch, for not listening better, for not realizing how much the band mattered to me. Most of all, it was to check that I was okay. I sent a reply asking her to IM me as soon as she got home, and half an hour later a message appeared on the screen.

Marissa asked me about the Seattle Today Seattle Today incident. Her questions were really detailed too, like she'd watched the YouTube footage at least a dozen times. When I said the band was still together, she seemed pleased rather than shocked. Then she said that Ed looked cooler now that his braces had been removed. incident. Her questions were really detailed too, like she'd watched the YouTube footage at least a dozen times. When I said the band was still together, she seemed pleased rather than shocked. Then she said that Ed looked cooler now that his braces had been removed.

P1P3R: i'd forgotten about his braces. how did u remember that? i'd forgotten about his braces. how did u remember that?MARI55A: r u kidding? ed = cute. i had major crush r u kidding? ed = cute. i had major crushP1P3R: u never told me u never told meMARI55A: cuz he liked u, not me cuz he liked u, not meP1P3R: no way no wayMARI55A: yes way. why do u think he joined chess club? yes way. why do u think he joined chess club?

I sat bolt upright, feeling like a coach doused in Gatorade when the game has been won.

MARI55A: ok, don't answer that. what about rest of dumb? u like? ok, don't answer that. what about rest of dumb? u like?

I tried to stop my hands from shaking.

P1P3R: yes. tash and kallie hang out with me yes. tash and kallie hang out with meMARI55A: they ignored us for years they ignored us for yearsP1P3R: they're different now. u'd like them they're different now. u'd like themMARI55A: if u say so. just promise me u won't get green hair if u say so. just promise me u won't get green hairP1P3R: lol. no way. got pink instead lol. no way. got pink insteadMARI55A: ha! ha!P1P3R: srsly! srsly!MARI55A: omg. ooVoo me omg. ooVoo meP1P3R: can u ooVoo again? can u ooVoo again?MARI55A: yes yes I shifted to the browser, loaded ooVoo, and made the connection with Marissa. A few seconds later she appeared on my screen, and then there was nothing but stillness and silence.

It was Marissa, but not the Marissa I remembered. Gone was the mousy brown hair, replaced by cascading blond curls. She wore dangly earrings and a chunky necklace color-coordinated with her form-fitting flower-print T-shirt. Unless the color was way off on my laptop screen, she wore half a cosmetics store on her face. She looked like she'd undergone a complete makeover with one of Kallie's supermodel wannabes, or more likely, Donna Stevens's stylist.

You look different, we signed simultaneously, then laughed nervously. we signed simultaneously, then laughed nervously.

You look great, I signed, realizing that my face had probably already betrayed my surprise, and, also, my disappointment that she'd changed so much without me. I signed, realizing that my face had probably already betrayed my surprise, and, also, my disappointment that she'd changed so much without me.

You too.

Silence. I could feel her slipping away from me with every second that pa.s.sed, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know who she was anymore. And I knew Marissa was thinking the same thing, right up to the moment that she raised a hand to her face and brushed away a tear.

I'm so sorry. I've ruined everything, she signed. she signed.

What are you talking about?

Marissa disappeared for a moment and returned with a tissue. She dabbed her eyes gently, careful not to disturb the artfully applied mascara and eyeliner. My computer was never broken. I just didn't want you to see me. My computer was never broken. I just didn't want you to see me.

Why not?

Because I look like one of Kallie's friends. Admit it, it's true.

I nodded. There didn't seem to be any point in lying.

It was so hard for me when I moved out here. You weren't around, but then I started to make some new friends, and I just wanted to be different than I was in Seattle, you know? I just got tired of blending in.

A part of me wondered if she might not blend in even more now than before. But I couldn't blame her for wanting to change. Anonymity hadn't been a problem as long as we'd had each other-hiding out together had barely felt like hiding at all-but apart, it became unbearable. I understood that completely. I really did.

You're beautiful, I said. I said.

As Marissa peered at me through her tears, I got the feeling she was looking at my hair.

Not like you. You were always prettier than me. And so much stronger. I wouldn't be brave enough to get pink hair if my life depended on it, but it looks amazing on you. You're amazing.

So are you.

Thanks. Marissa smiled bravely. Marissa smiled bravely. So have you and Ed hooked up yet? So have you and Ed hooked up yet?

No. I didn't know he was interested in me until just now.

Marissa rolled her eyes and c.o.c.ked an eyebrow at the same time-a new gesture in her repertoire. How could you not know? How could you not know?

I just didn't. I shrugged. I shrugged. I wish you'd told me. I wish you'd told me.

I'm sorry. I was jealous, remember? I used to watch Ed in the cafeteria, and for a while I thought he was staring at me every time he looked over at us. But then he joined the chess club, and I knew it was you he liked.

That must have been tough.

Marissa smiled ruefully. Torture. I'm not sure how he could have been any more obvious. You're deaf, but there's no excuse for being blind as well. Torture. I'm not sure how he could have been any more obvious. You're deaf, but there's no excuse for being blind as well.

I nodded, accepting the criticism. But inside I felt shaken up. The old Marissa was kinder, gentler than that. Maybe her makeover wasn't limited to the outside.

I miss you, she signed, summoning one last bittersweet smile. she signed, summoning one last bittersweet smile.

I miss you too, I signed back. But I worried that what we really missed were versions of each other that might no longer exist. And as I closed the computer, I wondered what it meant that my thoughts had already turned to making up with Ed, not Marissa. I signed back. But I worried that what we really missed were versions of each other that might no longer exist. And as I closed the computer, I wondered what it meant that my thoughts had already turned to making up with Ed, not Marissa.

CHAPTER 47.

"Anyone want a latte?" I asked as I left the dinner table. I needed to see Ed, and right away.

Mom looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Where are you going to get a latte?"

"Coffee Crew."

"You're grounded."

"It's just a cup of coffee."

Dad stood up. "Actually, I'd like one too. But Mom's right, you're grounded. So I come as well, and I drive."

Mom's eyebrows lifted to her hairline. "Hold on a minute, I . . . Oh, heck, just bring me one too."

Before she could change her mind, I dashed outside and waited for Dad to join me.

Five minutes later, we pulled up in front of Coffee Crew. "That looks like Ed Chen," Dad said, looking through the shop windows.

I was about to feign ignorance when something dawned on me. "How do you know Ed?"

"He's taking the same signing course as me." Dad narrowed his eyes, deep in thought. "He's the drummer in your band, right?"

I tried to answer, but I couldn't get past the fact that Ed was learning to sign . . . for me me.

Dad leaned back in his seat, smiling like the pieces of the puzzle had just fallen into place. "All right. I want a double tall two-percent. Same for Mom. I've got to pick up some milk from the grocery store. I'll be back in half an hour, okay?"

I swallowed hard. "Okay. Thanks, Dad."

He smiled. "You're welcome. . . . Oh, and Piper," he added, "don't forget the coffees. Crucial for our alibi."

I snorted and jumped out of the car, then waited a couple seconds while he drove away.

Ed was brushing coffee grounds off the counter when I walked in, and hesitated when he saw me. When he resumed, he seemed to be moving slower than before.

"Can we talk, Ed?"

He dropped the grounds into the trash and turned to face me. "What about?"

I picked up a green Magic 8-Ball on the counter and read my fortune: Buy pork bellies Buy pork bellies. Not likely.

Ed handed me a yellow 8-Ball with a smiley face instead. "Try this one."

I turned it over and read the message: You're fantastic You're fantastic. I felt my face redden, like I'd always dreamed of being admired by a Magic 8-Ball.

"What does it say?" he asked.

I swallowed. "It says I've been incredibly dumb."

Ed bit his lip. "Seems a bit harsh to me."

I looked up, fixed his eyes. "Not really."

He rested his hands on the counter. They were only inches from mine. I wanted to touch them.

"You were wrong about the distance from Peabody to Gallaudet," I told him. "I looked it up. It's actually 36.98 miles."

"I was rounding up."

"The gas will be expensive."

"Worth every penny."

"Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt?"

Ed turned away, breaking the connection. After a glance at his watch he switched off the OPEN sign. Then he lingered beside the espresso machine. "What can I get you?" he asked.

I reached across the counter and placed my hand on his arm, made him face me again. "Don't do that, Ed. I may be deaf, but I'll listen to everything you have to say."

He removed a filter from the machine, pounded it against a container to knock the coffee grounds out.

"Okay," I tried again. "Let's do it this way. I'll be Ed, and I'll tell you how things really are. Just stop me when I get something wrong." Ed shrugged in tacit agreement. "So, first off, I don't actually like chess. In fact, I hate it. And in spite of an IQ that would place me in Mensa, I completely suck at it." Ed stifled a laugh. "Good. Piper's getting warmer. . . . So anyway, the reason I started playing is because it was the only way I could get Piper away from her clique. Except she didn't know that, because she thinks the only cliques are ones everyone else wants to join." Ed's head bobbed up and down like it was agreeing with me without his consent. "And I even joined her freaky rock band, and saved it on several occasions, without so much as a word of thanks from that s.k.a.n.ky ho manager."

Ed spun around, palm raised. "Now you're putting words in my mouth."