"Yup. I am." She sat up, grabbing my hand as she stood. "I have been sent to get you for dinner." She began to pull me off the bed, and out the door.

"Wait! Aunt Kitty!" I cried as I tried to keep up with her quick pace. We began to race down the stairs.

"Come on." Was all she would say. We walked through the family room, that is, she walked, and I was dragged. My parents were sitting on the couch watching Family Feud.

"Mom?" I asked as we pa.s.sed by. She smiled up at me and waved. I finally relented and kept pace with my crazy, young aunt. We settled into her car, and headed toward town.

"What's going on, Aunt Kitty? I thought we were going to eat dinner?"

"We are. Just you and me." I smiled, and she returned the smile. My aunt was the kind of person that made every person she came in contact with feel special. She had an easygoing personality, and was loads of fun. She was only about ten or so years older than I was, what my mom called a "late in life baby" for my grandparents. She had long, light brown hair, just a shade lighter than my mom's and mine. Her dark gray eyes were kind, and usually smiling.

"So where are we going?" I asked, my arm resting along the open window, the breeze flowing through the car blowing hair in both our faces. She smiled at me again.

"Somewhere."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime, kiddo."

I began to notice that we had driven toward town, and then right past it. Where were we going? As if in answer to my unspoken question, my aunt turned onto a dirt road that led to what looked like nowhere. I glanced over at her only to meet with a warm smile.

"Almost there." A small lake loomed up before us surrounded by trees and wild gra.s.s. A small dock bobbed off sh.o.r.e. It was beautiful. The late afternoon sun shone overhead giving the water a glowing life all its own. Aunt Kitty parked the car under the shade of a ma.s.sive tree, and got out. I followed suit. She went around to the trunk and pulled out a large picnic basket.

"Come on." she said, leading the way to an almost non-existent path that led through the dense foliage.

"How do you know about this place, Aunt Kitty?" I asked, happily following.

"Your grandfather used to take us here when me and your mom were kids. I was pretty little, but I never forgot it." She smiled back over her shoulder at me. Finally we emerged from the mini forest, and ended up right on the bank of the small lake. "I think this is a man-made lake that some crazy old man had put on his property in the twenties." Aunt Kitty said as she opened the basket and brought out a large red and white checkered tablecloth and spread it out on the wild gra.s.s. I reached my hand toward the basket only for it to be slapped. I looked at her with surprised eyes. "No. You sit and relax. I do the work."

I sat cross-legged and watched my aunt as she brought out a container full of hot Kentucky Friend Chicken mashed potatoes, and another of gravy. She opened the box of chicken and waited expectantly for my approval. I giggled and nodded. She nodded in response, then took out the four, hot biscuits and little pads of b.u.t.ter.

"And to wash it all down, our house wine." she produced two bottles of Dr. Pepper, handing one to me, which I immediately opened and took a long sip of to try and alleviate the hot day. As we ate we talked about school, that would begin in just under two weeks.

"So are you nervous?" she asked around a mouthful of biscuit.

"No." I said a little too quickly. She glared at me, just the hint of a smile at the corner of her lips. "Yes." I grinned. "But I'm looking forward to it. I've always wanted to go to high school. I remember when Billy started. I was so jealous." Aunt Kitty grinned.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. When your mom started I was only, jeez, how old was I?" she said as she stared off into the past. "Six, seven? But I remember it clear as day." I chewed the chicken I had just bit off the bone, then turned serious. Well, at least as serious as I could ever get around Aunt Kitty.

"So, why are we here?"

"Why, to eat of course."

"No, no. I mean why just you and me?" Aunt Kitty put her hand on her chest and looked stunned.

"I am wounded, child. Can I not enjoy a day with my favorite niece?"

"I'm your only niece." I giggled.

"Yeah, so all the more reason for me to spend time with you, yes?"

"Yes. But this isn't usual, Aunt Kitty. You always just come over to our place." My aunt's face turned serious, which worried me.

"Okay, kiddo. Yes, there is a reason we're here," Aunt Kitty's words were cut off as she began one of her coughing fits. The year before she had been struck with a severe case of pneumonia, and had not been able to completely shake the cough. I waited patiently, a shard of concern filling me. She took a deep breath, and continued. "Your mom is worried about you."

"What! Why?" I could feel myself beginning to get angry.

"Now, now. Calm down. Don't have a brain explosion. Emily, your folks love you very much, and they just want you to be happy. Which, I got to tell ya is a pretty stupid thing for a parent to want. I mean, a teenager happy? Yeah. And they think I'm crazy? Paaleeze!" I smiled, feeling myself calming. Sort of. She smiled at me, and reached out to gently brush some hair out of my eyes. "They want what's best for you. But, see, I am not here to tell you to do anything special with yourself. No, no. That's what your mom would want me to do. Un uh. That's not what you need. What you need is for someone to listen. Someone who can be objective. So spit it out." Aunt Kitty leaned back on her elbows, her legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles, her eyes boring into my very soul.

"Spit what out? What do you want me to tell you?" I asked as I lazily made patterns on the tablecloth with my fingertips, not wanting to look at my aunt. I was afraid that everything I was feeling would just tumble out of my mouth. My aunt always had that affect on me.

"Tell me what's going through that noggin of yours. Even I've noticed that for about the last six months or so you have been acting a little on the strange side. Your mom seems to think that your friend Beth has something to do with it." My head shot up at the mention of Beth. This caught Aunt Kitty's attention, and she raised a brow. "Ah, Houston we have contact. Okay. So we talk about Beth."

My mind raced as I thought about how much I should tell her. She studied my face, her eyes filled with infinite patience. I knew I had always been able to tell Aunt Kitty anything in the past, my secrets never pa.s.sing through her lips. But this. This was something different. I wanted to tell her all about me and Beth on New Year's, and all the fights we had been having since then. How jealous I felt now.

"Come on, Emmy. Talk to me." I looked at my aunt again. I could feel my throat constrict with unshed emotion that threatened to spill out and embarra.s.s me, so I decided to talk before my tears could beat me to it.

"See, me and Beth, we have a very special friendship. Oh, Aunt Kitty." I cried. I angrily ground my fists into my eyes like a five year old child, angry at the tears that leaked out. Aunt Kitty smiled and gently rubbed my leg.

"I thought so." she said quietly, almost too quiet for me to hear. "Tell me about it."

An hour later I felt drained. Everything I had told Aunt Kitty hung in the air between us as if it had a palpable existence of its own. Aunt Kitty, who was now laying on her back, looked up at the gathering clouds. It looked like it might rain. She sighed. I looked over at her from my own position on my back. I was terrified to hear what she would say. Through my entire tale she had remained completely silent, her full attention on every word I said.

"Oh, Emmy." she finally breathed. Her voice was full of sadness. "I had a friend like Beth once, too." My eyes opened wide in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yup." she nodded. "We were friends from the time we were in about seventh grade. That's when we met. We were friends until we were, oh, I'd say eighteen, nineteen, maybe."

"What happened?" I asked, breathless. Aunt Kitty smiled, but there was no humor in that smile.

"I met Ron." she said simply. I didn't understand. She saw my confusion and smiled as she continued. "See, Karen, that was her name, Karen and I moved out of our parent's houses when we were seniors in high school,"

"Why?" I asked, intrigued by the idea, and surprised that I had never heard about that.

"Because we were young and stupid, that's why. We thought we were old enough to handle the world, and anything it had to throw at us. Boy were we wrong." She grinned at me. "Anyway, we found this rundown, cheap apartment, and moved in together. We were roommates. Karen wanted to be 'special' roommates, like when we were younger. I went along with it for a little while, but then I met Ron."

"Um, by 'special', do you mean like me and Beth at New Year's?" I asked, my voice timid. She nodded.

"Yes. I loved Karen very much. But I didn't want to live the rest of my life with her, like that. She did."

"Why? Why didn't you want to spend the rest of your life with Karen, as her roommate?" I asked, somewhat confused. If you loved somebody.....?

"Because. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with her." Aunt Kitty was quiet for a moment, a smile spread across her lips. She blinked, and continued. "But I felt more comfortable with Ron. I felt like my life belonged with him, not her. Karen was a very strong person. Those kind of people with strength like that fulfill the emptiness in their lives. It's a special breed, Emmy. It sounds like your friend, Beth has that same inner strength."

"Like Karen."

"Like Karen." Aunt Kitty agreed with a smile. "You should be glad that you've had this special bond with her. I will warn you, Emily. You two will eventually go your separate ways. Maybe not today, or two years from now, but Beth will go out to find her own life, and her own fulfillment. Don't try and stop her, and most importantly, Emmy, don't try and change her. Okay?"

"Okay, Aunt Kitty. I promise."

"Beth is who she is, just as you are who you are."

I helped Aunt Kitty clean up our mess, and load it all back into her trunk. I slammed the heavy door shut, and turned to Aunt Kitty. She looked at me with raised brows, waiting for my question.

"Have you seen Karen since you moved out, Aunt Kitty?"

"The last time I saw her was a few years ago. I ran into her at the mall. She smiled and waved, and that was the end of it."

"Oh." I walked around the car to the pa.s.senger door, my mind spinning. I couldn't stand the thought of me and Beth just waving from a distance. That could never happen to us.

It began to rain as we headed home.

We laughed wildly as we ran across the front yard from Aunt Kitty's car, trying to avoid the downpour. We were drenched when we stumbled through the front door, our clothing stuck like paint to our bodies. My mother took one look at us, and burst out in a fit of laughter. I was annoyed by her laughter until I realized how red and swollen her eyes were.

"Mom? Are you okay? Why were you crying?" I walked over to her, my shoes squishing with every step.

"It's nothing, sweetie. I'm just a little worried right now." she said as she gathered my wet body into a tight embrace. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Aunt Kitty nod at her, my mother nodding in return, as if they had had a secret conversation over my shoulder. Slightly irritated at that, I pulled away from my mother. She held me in place with her hands on my shoulders, and smiled down at me. She gently brushed some strands of hair that were plastered to my forehead out of my eyes.

"I love you so much, Emmy." she said, her voice full of pride.

"I love you, too." I said slowly, not sure where this was leading. She gave me a quick hug before pushing me in the direction of the stairs.

"Go change clothes before you catch your death." She smacked me lightly on the rear end. Aunt Kitty followed me up the stairs heading toward the bathroom.

"Why was she crying, Aunt Kitty?" I asked quietly. My aunt shook her head sadly.

"When the steel mill went under last spring it hit this town hard. Your dad is having a hard time at the dealership. No one is interested in buying a new car right now when they can barely afford to keep their houses. Your mom just gets real worried sometimes." I looked at her, my brow etched with worry.

"Are we going to be okay?" Aunt Kitty smiled at me and ran a hand down my back.

"Fine. Your parents are fighters."

As the summer marched on with its sizzling beat, I began to notice more and more FOR SALE signs dotting the front lawns of houses all through our neighborhood. It was scary to watch the families I had grown up with disappear almost over night. The CF&I steel mill had been work for thousands of men and women in town, and now they were having to go where the work was. Many moved to the bigger cities of Colorado Springs or Denver, others leaving the state all together. I wondered if we would be okay.

PART 4.

I SAT UP IN bed, my back resting against the pillows that rested against the headboard. I sighed as I looked through the depositions for the Holstead case. John Dithers was to pick up the file in the morning. With a sigh I took off my reading gla.s.ses, and rubbed my eyes, putting the manila folder on the small table next to the bed. What a time for this to happen. We were so close to winning this thing.

"What do you think?" Rebecca said, a smile in her voice. I looked up, and a pang of pain slithered through my heart. Rebecca stood before the foot of the bed in her over-sized T-shirt. She had stuffed a pillow up its long length making a bulge at her middle. She posed for me, showing me her profile. I climbed out of the big bed, and walked over to her, hugging her from behind. I placed my hands over her hands that rested on the pillow.

"Soon, baby." I whispered in her ear. "Soon."

"Oh, I know, babe. I am just so impatient." she groaned. "I am almost thirty-five. That clock is echoing in my head every day. Gets old after awhile."

"Good things come to those who wait." I kissed her neck, inhaling the sweet smell of her skin after her shower. I could still smell the Irish Spring. "After all, you got me, right?" she smiled.

"Oh, yes. That took all the patience in the world. I didn't think I had it in me. Did you ever teach me a thing or two about myself." I grinned.

"See? This should be a walk in the park then. This at least shouldn't take three years." Rebecca brought one of my hands to her lips, and held the palm against her cheek for a moment. With a shaky voice she said, "Go take your shower." I turned her around and removed the pillow from her shirt, held her to me.

"It just takes time, baby." I whispered. "It'll happen. I promise you." She sniffled once, then she seemed to get her emotions under control again.

"I don't know what gets into me. G.o.d, I am so d.a.m.n emotional lately!" she pulled away from me gently.

"Tell me about it." I grinned. She grinned back at me, and smacked me playfully on the arm. "At least you have an excuse with all those hormones they have you on." I kissed her quickly on the lips, then walked toward the bathroom.

"Emily?"

"Yeah, babe?" I asked at the bathroom door.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

I stepped out of my sweat pants and T-shirt quickly, the chill of the cold night whispered against my skin, making Gooseb.u.mps erupt all over the cool surface. I clamped my teeth together as I played with the k.n.o.bs of the shower trying to get the water to the right temperature. With a sigh I stepped under the hot spray, closing my eyes as the soothing water washed over me, loosening my tense muscles. I ran my hands over my hair to smooth it back from my face, rivulets of water running down the sides of my face, and dripping off my nose and chin. I opened my eyes as Beth appeared before my mind's eye. With a sigh I let the memories come, and let my mind wonder back to that late summer afternoon.

I paced the floor of my room, back and forth, back and forth. Something told me that Beth would be coming home today, and soon. What would I say to her? I had no idea. Even after the talk I had had with my aunt I still felt that nauseating monster of jealousy happily munching away at my brain. I stopped pacing and looked into the full-length mirror that was anch.o.r.ed to the back of my bedroom door. I smiled at my reflection, practicing on what would be the best smile to give Beth when she came over. If she came over. Would she? I began to pace again before stopping to look at myself once more.

"Hi, Beth." I grinned. No. You look like an idiot. I wiped the grin from my lips and tried to look serious. No. What about pouty? Maybe she'll want to know what's wrong? I grinned again. "Hi, Beth. How was camp? How did your acting go? How is that little tramp, Casey?" Ugh! I buried my face in my hands, peaking at myself through my fingers. Then I froze as I heard a car outside. I swallowed, hard.

Hurrying around my bed I glanced out the window and saw Beth's mother's white Chevy make its way down the street when it slowed to make the turn into their driveway. I took a deep breath as uncertainty gripped my insides. Should I wait for her to come over? No. That could take awhile. I sighed and looked at my reflection once again. I pulled my hair from its perpetual ponytail and brushed out the long strands until the blonde, some sun-bleached platinum, strands shone. I adjusted my denim overall shorts, and headed out to bravely face the storm of Beth's wrath.

I walked across our lawn and watched as Beth's mother helped her daughter heave all of her heavy bags out of the trunk of the car. Neither spoke a word, the operation silent and efficient. Nora Sayers did a double take as she spied me, unexpected out of the corner of her eye and smiled.

"Hi, there, Emily." she said, then headed toward the front door. Beth looked at me, her large duffel bag slung over one shoulder, and a smaller canvas bag gripped in her hands. I looked down and noticed a bracelet that dangled from her left wrist. Silver. Lots of little charms hanging from it. A bitter chill ran down my spine.

"Hey." she said with a wide smile. She almost seemed hesitant. Almost.

"Hey."

"I was hoping you'd be home. I wasn't sure if you'd be off somewhere with Darla or something." She readjusted the bag on her shoulder.

"Nope. Not today." I smiled. My hands began to fidget with my watch, turning it this way around my wrist only to turn it back the other way.

"Cool. I have so much to tell you." She looked over her shoulder at her house, and with a sigh turned back to me. "I think I should spend some time with her, though. She'll be ticked if I don't. Want to meet at the Bowl later?" her voice was hopeful.

"Yeah, okay." I grinned, somewhat disappointed. I didn't want to have to wait until later. "After dinner?" I heard myself say, grimacing inwardly. That would mean even longer!

"Yeah. Sounds good." She dropped the canvas bag and walked over to me gathering me into her one free arm, and holding me to her for just a brief moment before releasing me. She turned away and grabbed the bag again before heading toward the front door that her mother had left open for her.

My parents and I sat around the dinner table. I stared at the empty chair across from me. I missed my brother very much. With a sigh I returned my attention back to my plate of spaghetti. I twirled my fork in the long noodles trying to see how big I could get the ball of pasta around my fork before it all fell off.

"Emmy." my mother said quietly. I looked over at her. "Don't play with your food."

"Sorry." I stuck the whole thing in my mouth so I could chew and not have to worry about thinking or talking as I tried to not choke on the ma.s.sive bite.

"Good G.o.d, Francis. Didn't you teach our children any manners?" my father said, disgust in his voice.