"Good, you're Fae," she seethed and I narrowed my eyes on her and she quickly looked away from me and back at the floor. Almost as if she didn't believe her own conviction.

"You stupid little twit, I didn't lose. I never have. The Guild lost. They're all dead. So many good people were killed, so many children died. It was a fucking slaughter, one you assisted in, and why? What did you have to gain?" I asked barely above a whisper. Most people understood that was the time to talk, because I was getting pissed. She cringed.

"I had my reasons," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Good for you, but sooner or later that Demon is going to come down here and he wants a pound of flesh for the one he lost with the Mages. You're it. So tell me, Olivia, what happened in there and why did you help them? Were you following orders like a good little soldier? Or did you have a different reason for opening the doors to allow the monsters in?" I asked as I leaned against the cell and stared at her.

I wanted to help her, but I also needed her to know that I couldn't get her out of this. I wanted answers, and she had them. My entire Guild was gone, and that wasn't an easy feat. She'd been involved, and I'd dismissed her. Which either made me a fool, or her a good actress.

"Answer me, or I'll feed the Demon myself so he can come sooner," I seethed.

"You've changed into a monster," she hissed.

"Yes, I have. I've also lost too much to take chances with what I have left. You tried to hurt my family, and I'm very protective of them. I've never changed my standards, Olivia. The Guild is and has always been part of it, and people are dead. You can either start talking, or I can come in there and show you just how much of a monster I am," I warned.

"I didn't have a choice!" she cried as she scooted back on the bed like a meek mouse and let out a hiccup as tears started flowing unchecked down her porcelain cheeks.

"Suck it up, buttercup, and talk," I growled.

"I was trained differently than you guys were. So you need to tell me, Enforcer, which makes me more of a traitor, getting Alden out of the way or giving Guild history and secrets to a Demon?" she asked bitterly. "I should have known better, so many lies and I shouldn't have trusted-do you seriously think the Guild would care if I was tricked? No-God, I feel so stupid!" she mumbled. "As far as what I did to Alden, Elder Cyrus told me that Alden had betrayed the Guild, and that none of the Enforcers could be trusted. I...you wouldn't understand, I did what I had to, or they-" she rambled pitifully.

"Of course he would say that you couldn't trust the Enforcers, Alden's trained them all," I interrupted; too disgusted with the lies she had been told. I took a step backwards as I felt Ryder's electrical pulse as he sifted in.

Olivia looked up horrified, and screamed in shock. Her face turned even whiter, if at all possible. She was terrified and I couldn't blame her. I'd felt the same way when I'd first seen him as the Horde King. I watched her; she watched him as if Satan himself had joined our little interrogation. I rolled my eyes as she started to stammer her words and tripped over them.

"Really, Ryder?"

"Really, what?" he asked as his hands pulled me against him as he took Olivia in. "Are you intentionally overstepping what Ristan requested?" he questioned, smoothly changing the subject. He could have come in his Fae form, which wouldn't have scared the girl senseless.

"Pretty much," I whispered and looked back at Olivia, who had turned as white as a sheet which made her dark blue eyes striking against her paleness. "Continue," I said.

"No-no, that's the Horde King," she stuttered. "I've seen sketches in the archives, but this is impossible, he's...this is impossible! You ran away with the Dark Prince, not the Horde King!"

"Wow, you do have a way with the ladies, Ryder," Adam said as he smiled.

"Worthless; she's not going to talk," he said. "You'd have never cowered in my presence."

"I did, if you recall. I just did it with more grace. I was trained to accept fear; she wasn't. She's a fucking librarian. She didn't have the same training as we did," I whispered as I watched her eyes take in Ryder's entire seven foot frame and his wings. She was coming around, and I knew the shock. It was the same as I'd felt as I took on my first Fae.

"You didn't show fear," Ryder said. "Not until I tied you to my bed."

"Wow, hey guys. Don't need the kinky details, unless you have pictures?" Adam offered.

"Perverts," I said as I felt certain sadness for Olivia at what would happen to her when Ristan got back to full health.

I could see myself in her, in the fear she displayed, and the stout hatred of everything Fae. I'd been that girl, and I remembered the level of devotion that I'd blindly handed the Guild.

"Olivia, we can help you. You have to give us details though; can you do it?" I tried again.

Nothing. She stared in horror at Ryder, as if the devil himself had come to take her soul and drag it to Hell for her crimes. "She's not built for this, and I'm not even sure she believes the words coming out of her own mouth right now," I said as I shook my head.

I found Ristan in the nursery, and noted his skin was back to its normal color, and his face had almost healed. He looked somewhat calmer.

"She likes you," I said as I moved closer.

"You've been to see her," he growled.

"I have; she helped the Mages get to you and Alden, and she knows what happened inside the Guild when it fell, as well as who was involved. I didn't help her or offer her hope that you'd give her mercy."

"Good, because that's not something I'll have with her."

Kahleena cooed and wrapped her tiny little fingers around his hand and he watched her. Her big golden eyes looked up at him as if he'd hung the moon in her honor. "I need to know some of the details." I watched him as he lifted his eyes to mine.

"What do you want to know, Syn? That I believed you and Alden and let my guard down? Or do you want to know that I was chasing her pussy when she lured me into the trap?"

Ouch.

"She tried to seduce you?"

"Indeed. She was quite clumsy at it, which drew me in. More the fool was I. I had been watching her. I listened to you and Alden and what you both told me about her being harmless and how sweet she was, and started to think that she wasn't the enemy, that she was just some stupid Guild librarian that needed to be fucked. So when she so prettily offered me wine, I accepted it. And then the next thing I knew, Alden looked like he was going to fall asleep and she crawled up on my lap like she was going to try and kiss me before I could even register what was going on with Alden. She must have had something in her hand, because I felt a pinch in my neck and that was it, lights out," he growled with self-loathing. "So there you have it, Syn. I was too busy trying to fuck some little minx who wouldn't know what to do with a cock if it came with step-by-step instructions on how to use it."

"I'm not so sure she was aware that she was helping the Mages directly. She was given orders from an Elder, Ristan," I said softly. "She's of the Guild, and if she had known what they were, I don't think she'd have helped them."

"Bullshit!" he said and stood violently until he realized he still held Kahleena, and then sat back down and rocked her softly. "She knew, Synthia. She's Human; don't buy her lies."

"She's the same as I was less than six months ago, Ristan. She's been programmed to hate the Fae, to keep them from doing harm to the Humans. She'd do anything they asked."

"That's crap, and you know it."

"I'd have done anything they asked me to, and I did. I seduced Fae, and killed them. I left my boyfriend inside a parking garage to die because I was told to abort because I'd gotten too self-assured. He was my world, Ristan, and I left him there to die because those were my orders. I'd have slit my throat had they said to. That's what they do. It's how they raised us. We do bad shit and we do it, just as long as they ordered it first. I killed Chandra, without blinking because I was taught to. Just do me a favor when you finally get to her, and remember that I am your friend, and that I was that girl."

"You changed," he said as if it somehow made me different.

"Not really. I just learned that I can't control everything. I learned that you and this world, you're not my enemy. You and Ryder were the ones who helped me understand the differences between the Fae and what the Fae people really are, not the Guild's version that they teach us about. That version tells of monsters that feed and kill the Human race. She doesn't have that, Ristan. Her world just fell apart. I had one that wanted me when mine did. I was foolish back then, and we both know it. But this world," I smiled at my daughter. "This world gave me them."

He looked down at Kahleena and back up at me. "She's my calm, and I'm her protector," he whispered softly. "She is just about perfect," he admitted and kissed her head before he handed her to me and started to leave the nursery. Before he reached the door, he turned and looked back at me. "Stay out of my way with the librarian. This one time, Synthia, I'm asking you to back off and leave it be. What I do with Olivia will be my choice, and mine alone. I would have killed you when I first met you if I was a bad judge of character, remember that. I could have easily killed you in the maze at the Dark Fortress without issue. All of us were under orders to kill you if you became a distraction. And trust me, you did and I knew it. We are supposed to follow orders without question like you were. Right now, I'm glad I found a way around those orders. I don't judge people unfairly, or make hasty decisions like you and Ryder do. This is my concern, one I will take care of how I see fit."

When he was gone, I smiled down at Kahleena as she closed her eyes but continued to pucker her lips. "No, there's no just about it, Kahleena, you are perfect."

"He seems better," Ryder said as he stepped from behind the connecting door that led to our bedroom.

"Not as much as he's pretending."

"You're wise for someone so young," Ryder said as he approached me. "And you're right."

"I'd like to think so," I murmured, considering everything I'd said to Ristan.

"Our daughter is perfect," he smiled wickedly.

"And you, Fairy, are an assshoooole!" I teased and smiled.

"Please leave Ristan be on this. He was right as well. He isn't a fool, so whatever that girl did, or made him feel, it's affected him on a base level and that's not something you can mend. We have enough to worry about with the Tree and the ice swathed around it," he said as wrapped his arms around me as I held our daughter.

"I guess you're smart too, but not for your years. You'd think since you are as old as dirt, that you'd be a lot smarter," I said with a mischievous smile on my lips.

"I think you're due for another counting lesson."

"Promise?" I asked, but the boys cooed and we smiled. Life wasn't going to be easy chasing these three, or saving them so we could enjoy chasing them. "I'm scared," I said and felt my throat as it tightened. "I can't lose them, ever."

"We won't," Ryder said as he kissed my forehead and smiled as Kahleena cooed and reached for him.

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

We had been to the Tree right after it had been iced to see the damage, and so far we hadn't found a way to break the enchantment. We had every friend and ally to the Horde out searching for answers, along with people searching through spell books and other archives of history to seek answers on what type of spell it could be, as well as the beings that had cast the spell to begin with.

To make sure that we hadn't overlooked anything, we had a Human doctor examine Kahleena, and he had diagnosed her with failure to thrive. He'd then ended up with failure to breath, due to Ryder's hand being wrapped around his throat. Time wasn't with us, and even though we had hundreds of beings looking for the way to unfreeze the Tree, it seemed to be just beyond our grasp.

I was holding Kahleena when Ristan came into the room, his eyes immediately seeking her out. "She's not getting any better," he whispered. "She's getting worse."

"Yes," I whispered back as I held the tears in, but failed. Danu had warned us that we had less than two weeks to bring the children to the Tree or the consequences could be dire, and we were watching it play out before our eyes now. My heart was breaking unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. I was losing my child, and I couldn't stop it from happening. No one could. A lot of good it was to be a Goddess when I couldn't even save my own daughter.

"We need to thaw out that Tree," he said as he leaned against the wall. "Does Danu know how to do it?"

"If she did, don't you think I'd be doing it?" I said as I swiped angrily at my tears. "I'm sorry," I said as he closed his eyes against my angry words.

"Have you seen her lately?" he asked and opened his eyes to look at me.

"Once since we brought you back, I didn't speak to her though," I replied and touched the platinum curls on the top of her head. "I just can't believe that I could live in a world where I died and was reborn just so I could watch my children die slowly."

I looked up and he was gone, and Ryder stood there watching me. "We still have time."

"No, we don't," I whispered and looked up at him. "I can't do this," I sobbed as I held the sweet girl closer. "I can't watch her die," I exhaled a shuddering breath.

"Synthia," he whispered.

"It's not fair! I haven't even had time to get to know them, their personalities, what they like," I cried.

He sifted out and I continued to hold my daughter, knowing that everyone else was afraid to be in this room. They knew what I did. That we'd run out of time and we were going to lose them.

*~*Ryder*~*

She's hanging on by a thread, a single tattered one that was fraying and letting go. She's been so strong for so long that the idea of losing our child is crippling. I know the feeling; I felt it when I lost her. I know that emptiness all too well, and death's cold hand as it gutted me. Now I'm fighting time, to prevent it from stealing her and our children. I had seen enough of this to know that Kahleena is just the first to sicken and without the blessing they need, the boys will probably be next.

I know if we lose a child, she'll be devastated. And if we lose all three, she will most likely give up or go inside of her mind as she did with Larissa. Maybe not right away, but eventually, she'll fade away. She already is, even though she's fighting it. In the last week, she's watched as our daughter ate less and moved less, and still, she's fought to stay alive. She is so tiny, and yet she has the fight inside of her that her mother has. I need them both to continue fighting until we figure it out.

"How's Syn?" Sinjinn asks, his eyes searching my face and then dropping a slew of curses. "We've run out of time. That tiny little lady is just like her momma, she needs to keep fighting."

"Indeed."

"Ryder," Zahruk said as he walks into the room and stops. "I..." he pauses and I watch as his throat bobs. "She's alive still, right?"

"She's getting worse, but she's a fighter."

I'm holding my emotions in, but I want nothing more than to mow down the Mages and kill every last one of them. Ristan hadn't seen Synthia or the children in my future and we're beginning to think this is why; because we somehow fail and lose them all.

"Have the Pixies found anything?" I ask, and turn away from my men.

"No," Zahruk says as he places a hand on my shoulder, and speaks. "We've figured out a way to help Synthia. Well, one we think will help cheer her up a little bit. Between me, Ristan, and the girls, we sorta think bringing in some Human holiday crap might work. It is the Winter Solstice on Terra right now, so it is their time for holidays and she is missing it this year. Humans seem to enjoy their holidays so we figure it can't hurt. Ristan has already cast an illusion in the Pavilion to make it look like her hometown, and we've begun decorating."

I exhale and shake my head. "You think taking her home will make her forget our daughter is dying?" I snarl, and then shake it off. "We can try, but don't be offended if she doesn't care. She's breaking, and all I can do is watch as she shatters."

"She's a warrior, and a damn fine one at that. She might break for a while, but Synthia will always get back up. It's just how she's made, and that's part of the reason you love her."

*~*Synthia*~*

Ryder walked into the nursery, his eyes slowly taking me in as I stood beside the crib. I'd moved all of the babies into one crib, and Kahleena slept with her brothers on either side of her. Always protecting her, as brothers should.

Ciara had come in and we'd spent time with them and I knew she'd done it to watch over me more than the babies, but it didn't bother me. I was prepared when Ryder wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. "How is she?" he asked.

"She's better with her brothers beside her," I whispered.

"I have a surprise for you," he said against my ear as he looked down at our children, "and for them as well."

I looked up at him, and tried for a brave smile, but it wouldn't reach my eyes and we both knew it. Reality was harsh, and even though I wanted to stay here where the babies were safe and protected from the world, I knew it wouldn't keep them from what hunted them-the consequences of our failure to break the spell on the Tree.

"I'll go," Ciara said softly.

"No," Ryder said, his eyes moved around the nursery to where Darynda had just walked in. "We'll need everyone for this."

He had everyone wrap the babies in warm blankets, and I carried Kahleena, while Ciara carried Zander and Darynda carried Cade, with Cailean walking behind them. As we walked to the pavilion, all of the Fae we passed in the corridor stopped to look at us; some with wonder on their faces as the new princes and princess were carried to whatever surprises their father had waiting for us.

When we stepped through the doors to the pavilion, I felt a tear as it slid down my cheek. The pavilion was filled with snow, and the temperature was chilled with the crisp bite of a deep freeze, just like it would have been in Spokane had we been there still.

The entire pavilion had disappeared, and in its place was Ryder's glorious mansion in Spokane-or the image of it, anyway. It was decorated in Christmas lights, as was the fountain and the small shrubbery surrounding it. It was night, and as I looked up into the stars above, I smiled, noting they'd gotten every detail down perfectly, including the bright North Star which was even darker on the black-blue canopy of the sky.

The windows of the mansion were aglow from within, filled with warmth, and the enormous doors were open in welcome for our group's approach. I moved to them, noting that the crisp air would be too much for the little ones, and was thankful for Ryder's foresight and for swaddling them in thick blankets.

We stepped to the doors, and I looked around watching as Brownies and Fae women rushed around the main entrance, which had a ginormous Christmas tree set up that reached to the elegant glasswork ceiling. As I watched, a Brownie moved forward and with help from me, she took my cloak and then smiled.

"Merry Christmas, mistress," she whispered and smiled.