"She's in a bad way right now. She can't stop crying, and she didn't want to come here and upset everyone even more."

"Please tell her I'll write to her soon and that we understand."

In the face of this kindness, Mr. Showers could not speak. He pinched his lips tightly together, nodded, and turned toward the grave site. It didn't help that the first person he saw was Max. She was so like Josie in face and frame that it was startling.

He forced his eyes to Lord, who stood next to her. She looked very different from the last time he'd seen her. She was still lovely, but thinner and missing the sparkle he had previously witnessed.

165.

165.

Ken's father thought about what she'd gone through with her sister and understood anew why his wife could not stop crying.

"You can come in closer," Pastor Higgins invited, directing the small group. Mr. Showers and the Andrews family were the only ones the Archers had invited. There were many dear folks in the church family, but they had limited the invitations to keep things simple.

"I think you've handled this all very well," Pastor complimented the family. "You've been wise in keeping the numbers down and keeping this private, but I can't help but wonder if there might be some things you wish to say. I didn't plan a long sermon for this time at the grave-you don't need that-but I did want to give you a chance to share."

The group was quiet for a moment, but then Leonard Andrews had something on his heart.

"I remember the first time Josie babysat for Arlene. I don't remember if any of the boys were home, but Arlene didn't want us to go out that night. She was dreading staying with a new sitter, and then Josie came. We weren't gone that many hours, but by the time we got home, they were fast friends. Josie had even been willing to help Arlene build a fort on her bed, and the two had climbed in together to read a book."

Arlene had buried her face against her mother to hide her tears, but the adults were all smiling amid theirs. Josie had been special and fun, and no one was surprised by this story. Dean was the next to share his heart.

"If it's true that a man never plans on burying his child, it's ten times as true concerning a grandchild. We are certainly not the first to stand in grief around a graveside, and we won't be the last, but that fact doesn't always soften the hurt." Dean paused, 166.

wanting to finish but finding it hard. "I'll keep on because the Savior has a plan, but I'll miss you, Jo. More than I can say."

Ruth couldn't manage his words. Her face crumbled, and she sobbed with the ache inside of her. Dean moved dose to put an arm around her, and Max turned helplessly to Lorri.

"Say something, Raine," she cried. "Tell Jo how I feel, because I can't right now."

Lorri's head hurt with the pressure she felt inside, but she made herself speak the first thing that came to mind.

"Thank you, Josie, for your sweet heart and G.o.dly spirit. We'll always love you. We'll never forget you. And heaven will be a more precious place in our hearts because you're there waiting for us."

No one else could speak. Pastor Higgins read a few verses from the Psalms and closed in prayer. Mr. Showers and the Andrews moved toward the cars, and the Archers took a few more minutes by the casket.

In a way it was helpful that Josie wasn't in that box. Only Lorri could actually picture where her body was, and the others naturally tried. They stood and talked for a few moments, and then Dean said it was time to leave. There was rescue in those words. Josie had been gone four months, but things had not been complete until today. Painful as the days ahead might be, the process of moving on needed to begin.

"Hey, Max," Johnny King called to her, stopping her on the front steps of the school at the end of the day on Tuesday. Max had stopped in only long enough to get her a.s.signments and now was ready to walk home.

"Hijohnny."

167.

167.

"Where have you been the last few days? Were you sick?"

"No," Max shook her head but didn't elaborate. Johnny, much brighter than his grades showed, didn't press her.

"I saw you at the last home game," he offered.

"Oh, yeah, that night we lost to Valley."

"There's a home game this Friday night. Do you want to go?"

"I'll probably just go with my family, but thanks for asking."

Johnny's deep blue eyes studied her. She was unique, he knew that. His only regret was not pursuing her-and only her-years before.

"I guess I didn't take it seriously when you said you were swearing off boys."

"It's easier that way right now," Max said.

Johnny smiled that smile that had turned many hearts.

"Easier for who?"

Max couldn't stop her answering smile.

"I've got to get home."

"I can give you a ride." The offer was made in his most charming voice.

"No, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Max."

Johnny didn't care who witnessed it. He stood still and watched Max until she was out of sight. The rumors all around school were that Johnny King had finally lost his heart, and to a girl who didn't want him. Johnny wouldn't have admitted it under threat of torture, but the rumors were very true. , "Lorri, you've got to see this," Ruth called very quietly from the edge of the living room.

168.

Lorri came around the corner and had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing. Buddy had taken up his usual place in front of the picture window to watch Max walking away to school, but today m.u.f.fin had joined him. Perched on top of Buddy's head, the half-grown kitten sat comfortably, taking a view of the out-of-doors as though she'd never seen it before.

Ruth grabbed the camera and tried to get a photo, but m.u.f.fin spotted Lorri and came to her.

"Oh, she moved."

"She might do it again," Lorri said, cuddling the cat in her arms.

"She's a little character, I'll say that much for her."

Ruth put the camera away, and Lorri, a little at loose ends, followed her. Ruth gathered her gloves and gardening tools and went into the backyard.

"Do you think Max was ready to go back today?" Lorri asked from across the garden.

"Probably not, but putting it off was not going to accomplish much."

"There must be kids all over the school who are in the same boat."

"I'm sure you're right. The war has ended and the mourning and rebuilding will begin."

Lorri began to hum "I'm Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover," and Ruth smiled as she worked on the flower bed at the back of the house. We enough, it wasn't long before Lorri began to sing. The doxology was next, then "White Christmas."

"Mother," Lorri suddenly said, cutting off midsong. "I've been meaning to ask you something, but I don't know how to word it."

"Do you have it figured out now?"

"No, not really."

169.

169.

n Ruth turned her head and smiled at her.

"Just ask, Lorraine. We'll figure it out together."

"I guess I want to know why you never ask,Why us?"

"Why us?" Ruth questioned her, trying to understand.

"Yes. Do you remember that woman from so many years ago who had lost her twin sons in a fire? She was sharing how she was dealing with it, but all the time she talked, she said she didn't know why G.o.d would do that to her.

"We never spoke of it, but I got the impression that you and Grandpa didn't agree. I remember your face registered concern or some other emotion. Do you recall it now?"

"Yes, I do recall. I wasn't at all happy with the things she said."

Lprri waited, but her mother didn't go on. She waited a bit longer and pressed her when there was more silence.

"So why, Mother? Why don't you ask G.o.d,'Why us?'"

Ruth turned fully to face her daughter and spoke frankly.

"Why not us, Lorri? Why not our family? We've never been promised a hedge that keeps away all pain and loss and suffering. G.o.d will do as He pleases, and it pleased Him to take your father and Josie home. I can't ask G.o.d why until I'm willing to ask why not."

"Oh, Mother," Lorri breathed, "I think you're wonderful."

"Do you?"

"Yes. You don't try to help G.o.d."

"Is that what you do?"

"Sometimes!"

"What did you try to help with lately?" Ruth was using the trowel again.

"I didn't want Max to go back to school. I think there should have been some type of holiday all this week so she could be home."

170.

"That's sweet of you to want to take care of her."

"It's me wanting my way and sure that I know what's best. I'm not sure how sweet that is."

Ruth turned back to her.

"Are you being too hard on yourself? You miss Josie, so you naturally want to have Max around to love and protect."

Lorri shrugged, thinking her mother might be right. She did miss Josie, more than she could have imagined, and Max was so much fun.

Lorri realized she'd sat around long enough. Going back to her song, she began to help her mother in the garden.

Early October brought the World Series-the Detroit Tigers defeated the Chicago Cubs four games to three. Ava Gardner married band leader Artie Shaw. General Electric announced the construction of the world's most powerful electron accelerator, which could direct steam at the speed of light and cut through nearly 12 inches of armored plate. And advertised as the "first pen to write underwater," a ballpoint pen offered by Gimbel's of New York had 10,000 eager buyers on its first day of sales.

Lorri kept up on all these events through the newspapers and the radio as October faded into November. The days were cooler now, the nights especially so. Warmer skirts, slacks, and sweaters came out of wardrobes.

Lorri was almost back to her normal size, her appet.i.te still improving and with it a desire to cook and bake. Rare was the evening when she did not put dinner on the table, and because meat was becoming more available, the selections were varied and interesting.

171.

m "Pork chops," Dean said one evening, sitting down with pleasure. "It's been a while."

"Lorri smiles at the butcher, and he gives her the best selection under the counter."

"Mother!" Lorri said, sounding faintly shocked, but both Dean and Max were laughing.

"I think you should swear off men, Lorri," her sister advised. "It's the only way to live."

"How is that working for you?" Lorri asked.

"Just fine," she told her with a cheeky smile. "I've been asked out more this year than all my other years combined, but I just say no."

"But does that get us thick, center-cut pork chops from the butcher?"

No one around the table expected this outrageous remark from Lorri, and they nearly choked on the food they were chewing.

"Lorraine Susan Archer!" It was her mother's turn to be shocked.

Lorri tried not to look too pleased, but it felt good to give back a little.

"On a more serious note," Dean cut in, thinking it might be more than time. "I've heard from Ken."

This had the effect he expected. All eyes and ears were atteni:, tive.- "He'd like, to visit later this month, probably after Thanksgiving, but only if it won't be too upsetting."

"Well, of course he should come."