Max laughed and said, "What a cute name."

At the sound of the little girl's voice, the kitten moved toward that side of the box and put her paws up for some attention. The other girl gently petted the top of her head, her eyes on the pet.

Max made herself stand very quiet and still. She thought it the perfect cat for Raine and their household, but it was her mother's decision. Max prayed that G.o.d would work a miracle in her mother's heart and she'd decide to take'the kitten home. She knew she was being dramatic and wasn't sure it was a great idea to pray about something so insignificant, but pray she did.

She comforted herself with this one small fact: Raine knew nothing of this. Even if their mother walked away from the box, no kitten in hand, Raine would never know a thing.

"Where's Lorri?" Ruth asked Dean when he came to the driveway to help with the groceries. "She's baking a cake." "Was she hungry for cake?"

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"I don't know, but I had to tell her that I'm leaving again, and I think she needed to get her mind off of that."

"When?"

"Next week. I'll be gone about a month and then home for good."

Ruth nodded. She'd been living with this military man since very soon after her husband died. It was nothing new, but never what she would term easy.

"Grandpa." Max spoke from behind him, and he turned. His eyes went from Max's eyes down to the kitten in her arms and then back again. Max's smile was infectious, and Dean couldn't help himself: He grinned back at her.

"Let me guess, someone was giving them away in front of the market."

"Won't Raine love her?"

"Her? You brought another female into the house?"

Ruth and Max were still laughing when they heard the door. Max rushed around the house to hide the kitten and wasn't seen.

"I'm glad you're here, Mother," Lorri began the moment she was close. "I can't find the vanilla."

"We're out, dear. I brought some from the market."

"Oh, good. Where's Max?"

Ruth looked around as though she'd just noticed.

"You didn't pa.s.s her on your way out?" she misled her daughter shamelessly.

"No."

"Well, she must have run to the neighbor's."

Lorri grabbed a bag of groceries, giving it little thought until she got inside. The moment she did, she glanced out the window and spotted her sister in the backyard.

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"What is Max doing?" Lorri asked of the room in general.

"Why don't you go out and see," her grandfather suggested.

Lorri gave him a confused look but still went. She slipped through the patio door and was almost on top of her sister before she saw what sat at her feet.

"Oh, Max, you got a kitten!"

"No,yougot a kitten."

Lorri stopped, her mouth rounding in surprise.

"You got me a kitten?"

"Yes! Isn't she the cutest thing?"

"She's adorable," Lorri said, giving Max a hug and then hunkering down close to the small creature.

"Her name is m.u.f.fin," Max volunteered. "Isn't that cute? Come here, Buddy," Max suddenly called. "Come and see m.u.f.fin."

The women laughed hysterically when every hair on m.u.f.fin's body stuck straight out. Her back arched, and she was ready to do battle until Lorri stroked her back.; "Be nice, m.u.f.fin. This is Buddy"

"He was here first," Max put in, causing Lorri to laugh.

Inside the house, watching them from behind the screen door, Ruth spoke to Dean.

"I hope you don't mind another pet. Max was so excited."

"I don't mind at all," he said hoa.r.s.ely, and Ruth knew that if she looked at him, she would be in tears.

I never imagined her out of the picture, Father,Ruth prayed, her mind full of Josie.Not at any time did I see this coming. I never dreamed.. .Ruth couldn't go on. She wasn't angry-just trying to 115.

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keep her balance in a world that had suddenly tipped. A new pet was delightfully fun, but someone was missing. From now on, there would always be someone missing.

"Mother," Ruth heard in her sleep. She tossed a bit on the pillow, hearing Josie's voice in distress but unable to lift her arms to touch her. It was a helpless feeling, and Ruth begged herself to respond.

"Mother." The voice came again, and this time Ruth felt the bed move. "Mother, please wake up."

"Lorri?" Ruth woke with a start and realized her daughter was standing next to the bed.

"Mother, can I talk to you?"

Ruth didn't hear the tears in her voice until just then.

"Come on." She shifted over and lifted the covers. "Climb in with me."

It was too much for the younger woman. She dissolved into tears and began to sob the moment her head touched her mother's pillow. Ruth, feeling as helpless as she had in the dream, wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her close.

"I can't stand it," Lorri cried, feeling as if she were being torn in two. "It's only been a few months, and I miss her so much. I don't think my heart can take it."

Ruth knew that it was too soon for the hurt to be gone, but she didn't say this. She let Lorri talk and cry.

"Why do I keep thinking about all the things I've said and done that I regret?"

"Like what?"

116n n6Lori Wick "Like that time when I took the biggest slice of cake even though it was Josie's birthday."

"Honey, you were eight years old at the time. It wasn't like that in the recent past. It hasn't been like that for years. You and Josie were the closest sisters I've ever known. There was no compet.i.tion. You adored each other."

"Then why can't I think of that? Why is there no comfort?"

"Maybe you're looking for comfort in the wrong places."

"You're probably right," Lorri admitted, her voice reflecting the humility she felt. "What do you take comfort in, Mother?"

"The promises of G.o.d, and knowing that I loved Josie and she knew it. I take my greatest comfort in knowing where she is because of what she believed." Ruth's voice had grown thick with tears.

"I've made you cry."

"It's just going to be that way for a while," Ruth said, having faced this already. "We're going to be sad, and, at times, convinced that we'll never be joyful again. But I know better. I know G.o.d is bigger than that."

Tears that had never really receded became fresh again. Lorri desperately needed the reminder of G.o.d's goodness. She seemed to forget so easily these days. Everything slipped away easily lately. Suddenly her body felt so bone weary that she couldn't move. She wanted to go back to her bed but couldn't summon the energy.

"I'm so tired," she managed, only to feel her mother's soft kiss.

"Go to sleep," Ruth told her, but Lorri was already gone, sleep bringing relief from the memories that troubled her.

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"Did you wake Lorri?" Dean asked Ruth when she arrived in tfre kitchen the next morning. Ruth looked tired and a bit worn but was dressed and ready for church.

"No. She ended up in my room last night, very upset. Then this morning she slept through my alarm clock and all my getting ready to go, so I know she's still exhausted."

"I'll stay with her," Max volunteered.

Dean and Ruth turned to her.

"Please don't make me go," she asked softly. "I'm just not ready to have everyone looking at us yet."

;:.' "But the church family has known about Josie's death for two weeks, Max. Why would people stare today?"

"Because with Grandpa back, they'll be looking for Lorri. And ; on top of that, I can't stand fo

her toivake up and find the house Ruth looked to Deaja, wh^noddM his Head.

"Next week, Max," Bean s

epyed$n and {old her. "The three of you need to go next week

The firtjt week is the hardest, and putting it off won't change t e inevitable."

"Not to mention, the church family only cares, Max. They've cried buckets with us. Never underestimate their power to love and comfort us."

Ruth gave her a hug before having some breakfast, grabbing her Bible, and hurrying out after Dean.

Max played with m.u.f.fin until the kitten fell asleep next to Buddy's tail. When that happened, she went upstairs and planted herself in the chair in her mother's room, her mind picturing all those days Lorri woke on the island to find herself alone. Max hated to have it happen here. If Lorri slept until noon, Max would wait 118Ten "How are you?" Cora Andrews asked Ruth as soon as the service was over.

"In shock," Ruth answered, knowing how honest she could be with her closest friend, "You wouldn't know Lorri if she was alone and you pa.s.sed her on the? street. She's

o thin, and there's very little of the old sparkling Lorri right now.

t's going to sound awful, but Josie's death is worse now that Lorri's home. I've never had one without the other, and it just seems all wrong."

"I've done nothing but pray for you for days," Cora said, willing herself not to cry and make her friend's grief more difficult "I can't tell you how much I need it. School starts soon, Cora, but I won't be out much. Tell the women at Bible study that I just have to see to our needs at home right now and not put too much on myself. If Lorri decides she would like to attend study," Ruth added, "then we'll come, but I'm not planning on it."

"Let us know if there's anything we can do."

"I'll do that. Dean is leaving this week and will be gone about a month, but then he's home for good."

"Can we have the three of you to dinner after he leaves?"

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"Ask me that in a week, Cora, will you? Lorri's just not up to much right now, and we're all going to need to take it slowly."

"Is that why she's not here?"

"Yes, she was awake in the night and completely spent this morning. Max stayed with her."

"I'm glad. Max needs that right now."

"I think you must be right. Tell Arlene to keep calling though. Max appreciates it so much."

"Even though they've sworn off boys for good?"

Ruth laughed and Cora joined her. It felt good to laugh, even if only for a few moments.

"Have you been sitting there long?" Lorri asked of Max when her eyes finally opened and she found her sister close by with m.u.f.fin in her lap.

"Off and on. I had to run down and get this little monster from under the fridge. I can't believe you didn't hear Buddy's bark."

"I don't think I heard a thing. Not even my own dreams."

"How do you feel?"

"Pretty good," she said around a yawn. "You're all ready for church. What time is it?", "It's late. I stayed home with you."

Tm soo-y, Max."

"It's all right. I wanted to stay. Grandpa said the three of us will go next week and get it over with then."