Fidelia had to resist a strong impulse to rush away, when Miss Abby rose and came to the window.
"But you needn't be discouraged. If you are not sure of your hope, you must just let it go, and come again to Him who is our only hope, and it will be all right with you. If you have fallen back, it must be because you have failed to ask His help, or your heart has been after other things. But you haven't done anything, or neglected anything that He will not be glad to forgive if you'll tell Him of it, dear. You needn't be a mite discouraged. I'd be glad to help you if I could," said Miss Abby, laying her hand gently on that of the girl. "I'm an old woman now, and I've seen a good many things in my time, and I have suffered some, too, but not any more than I'm glad to look back upon now.
Anyhow, it never pays to get discouraged."
"Discouraged!" thought Fidelia. "Why, I think I am wrong all through.
I am not sure that even Eunice can set me right now." Aloud she said--"No; it does no good to be discouraged."
Then they heard the south gate open, and knew that the young people had returned; and, before Fidelia had time to escape, Nellie was calling her name on the stairs, and there was no time for more.
Of course they went downstairs together, and heard all about the visit, and whom they had seen, and what they had said and heard and done, and how sorry every one was that Miss Marsh had not gone with them. And no one would have suspected that Miss Marsh was "discouraged," or even tired, so interested was she in it all. Indeed, she seemed to have more to say than usual, and even became boastful, as Nellie declared, when allusion was made to the preparations for next day's expedition to the Summit.
Miss Avery was even more demonstrative in her friendliness than usual that night; and as she was so much fatigued that she found it necessary to recline on the sofa, she would have Fidelia bring a low seat and sit beside her, saying she had seen enough of all the rest for one day.
Fidelia sat down willingly enough, but she would not give up her hand to be caressed, as Miss Avery desired; she was busy covering a ball for Franky; and in a little she found it necessary to go nearer the light, but not before Miss Avery had whispered a few words in her ear.
"What a good woman your sister must be! How lovely she must have been when she was young! Dr Justin Everett thinks her nearly perfect."
She had no time to say more. Fidelia rose suddenly, and, without a glance toward her, walked across the room; and Dr Justin, coming in with letters in his hand, alone saw the paleness of her face and the anger in her eyes. Miss Avery rose from the sofa, and in her pretty eager way came forward to claim her letters.
"Now, Dr Justin, there must be one at least for me! Do say you have got one for me this time," said she, clasping her hands imploringly.
The doctor laid the letters on the table without a word. It was Nellie who distributed them, and the last one was for Fidelia.
"Now you will be happy! It is from your sister," said she.
There were letters for several of the others; and in the interest of receiving and opening them, Fidelia was allowed to slip out of the room unnoticed, and only returned in time to say good-night.
"And it must be 'good-bye' too, I am afraid, as I must go home to-morrow morning. Eunice wants me. No; she is not sick, but she wants me. I have told Mrs Austin all about it, and she says I ought to go. Amos has promised to take me to the depot in the morning."
"But our trip to the Summit?"
"You must stay for that!"
"One day can make no difference!"
Fidelia was sorry to miss the day's pleasure, but a day would make much difference. The letter had been delayed one day already, and her sister had several reasons for wishing her to come home at once.
"But your packing! You will have to be up all night. You must let me help you, Miss Marsh! Now say you will," pleaded Miss Avery with pretty beseeching gestures.
Fidelia laughed.
"My packing! It is all done already, thank you. You will see the last of me to-night."
It was not quite the last to several of the party. The departure was not so early but that all the family were down, and even Miss Avery had a chance to say good-bye again from the window, as Fidelia and Amos drove off. She proposed that they should wait a little, that she might drive with them, but this was not to be thought of.
"Dr Justin wanted to drive you down, but I said I had promised," said Amos gravely; "you don't care, do you?"
"I should have been very sorry if you had forgotten your promise or broken your word. I would not have cared to trouble Dr Justin Everett."
"Oh, it wouldn't have troubled him any! He'd as lief come with you as not, I guess. If any one had come, it ought to have been Nellie; but I told her I had something to tell you, and she was very good about it.
As for Miss Avery, I guess she didn't care much about going. You like Miss Avery pretty well, don't you?"
"Oh, yes! Not as I like Nellie, you know. But Miss Avery has been-- very--"
"Kind and condescending!" said Amos, as Fidelia paused for a word.
They both laughed a little, but nothing more was said about Miss Avery.
A good deal was said about things in general, but not a word which Nellie and all the rest of them might not have heard; and Fidelia began to think she had misunderstood the boy as to his having something to say to her. But when the horse had been securely fastened at a safe distance from the track, they turned to walk up and down the platform.
During the few minutes that remained, Amos said,--
"I am going to tell father that I am going to college this fall or next, just as he thinks best."
"Yes, of course," said Fidelia. "Well?"
"That is all; and it isn't 'of course' by a good deal. I had about made up my mind for something else. I was going West, to see how it looked out there, any way."
"Not without your father's knowledge?"
"No--I don't know as I should have gone with his knowledge and consent.
But he'd have let me go, I guess, if I had kept at him, even if he had hated to."
Fidelia shook her head.
"That is not the kind of talk I should expect to hear from you, Amos, with such a father as you have." Amos hung his head, but said,--"Well, I've changed my mind. I am going to college, and I am going to do my best. Yes; it is partly to please father, and partly because I see things a little differently. Do you remember what you said to me that day on the hill?"
"I am afraid I talked a good deal that day. I don't think I remember anything particular."
"It was about the honour of having a part in the highest work of all, and about the duty of preparing one's self to do it in the best way. I am going to have a try for it, any way," said Amos, with a break in his voice.
Fidelia put out her hand and touched his, but she did not speak for a full minute. She was thinking,--"A word of mine! That can't be-- discontented, worldly-minded girl that I have proved myself to be! I am not worthy." Aloud she said,--"I am glad, Amos. Tell me more."
"It was only a word you said, but it set me thinking; though I don't see why it should, for mother, and cousin Abby, and even Nellie, have said about the same to me often. I suppose it was because it seemed new as you said it; and I had got kind of used to cousin Abby's good advice, and even to mother's. But I made up my mind that I would see the thing through this time, and decide one way or another. What Dr Justin said helped me some. I mean to try and be a good man--a servant of G.o.d,"
added the boy, speaking with difficulty.
"Amos," said Fidelia, "do you mean that you have become a Christian?"
"I mean that I wish to be a Christian, and to have a part in the very highest work, if the Lord will have me for His servant."
"_If_, Amos? There is no 'if' on the Lord's side."
Then she paused, telling herself that she too had desired to have a share in the highest work, and asking herself whether she had not drawn back. She did not know. She only knew that she was all wrong, and that she too must begin again.
"I, too, shall have to decide once for all. Oh, I must!"
There was no time for more, for the shriek of the engine was heard in the distance.
"Amos, I am so glad! And I am glad you have told me. I wish I knew just the right thing to say to you. I can only say I am glad. I wish you could come and talk with my Eunice. Oh, dear--just as if you hadn't your father and mother, and cousin Abby! But my first thought is always of my Eunice," added Fidelia, with an uncertain smile. "Good-bye, dear Amos. Everybody in your home has been so good to me; and I am glad for them all. They will be very happy."
There was not time for another word. As Amos turned from the window as the train moved on, he stumbled on some one--or, rather, some one stumbled on him--and he had no idea who it was till a voice called out,--