??? POV III 1/2

After two days of preparing behind my parent's backs, I finally am ready

I packed a few things inside a leather bag, which I wrapped around my body

It is deep in the night and they are sleeping soundly.

Through these last two nights, I have been having the same nightmare as before.

But it keeps getting even worse.

Why?

Why did this thing come to my second life?

How can it even do such a thing? Wouldn't my soul come here?

Was that thing parasitizing my very soul?

I am so scared of going outside

I want to stay with papa and mama

But I can't bear to think that one day I will I might kill them

I don't want this

I don't want this at all.

I have to run away

I will one day come back.

When I am strong enough to not be taken over this power

I promise

As I glance back at my little house, tears begin to drip out of my eyes without realizing it.

As an Ice Giant, I am immune to cold and resistant to ice, so even by being in the middle of the icy night, I don't feel discomfort.

I pray to Ymir, as I begin slowly walking away.

Goodbye, mama, papa

These last seven years were the best years of my second life.

I will treasure you within my heart

Goodbye, village

Goodbye, friends

Goodbye, neighbors

I wish that all of you can still be here when I come back one day

I decide to stop glaring at the town, as I walk inside the Grand Pine Forest, a forest that covers many mountains above our town, it is said that deadly monsters crawl this place

But there's no other place for a monster like me to go to

It has been a week since I escaped.

All the food I packed is about to run out.

I am beginning to get hungry

I have been eating things slowly, but due to being so big, my stomach is also big, and eating little does not satiate it

Sometimes I find a group of rabbits and manage to catch one, but the rest run away, and I can only secure a single meal I eat it raw because I don't know how to cook nor how to make a fire in this place Well, I was taught a bit... but I cant do it in the middle of a snowstorm...

I am tired I have been walking for two days, sleeping here makes me have nightmares that wolves will come to eat me.

I always hear their howls I am scared.

I don't want to die

I have to survive to go back to mama and papa one day

Ugh

Hahh...

Hahhh

It has been three weeks since I ran away from home.

I miss my bed

I miss Mama and papa

I want to sleep in a warm bed and eat food with them.

To be happy and have my tummy filled

It hurts

Mama

Papa

Everything hurts.

My body aches and my head hurts.

I feel dizzy and weird

I think I might be sick of something...

Ugh

The last time I have a meal was three days ago when I caught another rabbit.

I have been eating bluegrass ever since, but it is weird and bitter, and it makes me puke.

But it fills me sometimes.

I have been eating snow too.

But it makes my tummy feel weird.

I am tired and hungry

My body hurts

Where am I going?

I only know that I have to run away as far as possible.

I have nightmares every time I sleep, so I try to sleep as little as possible.

But sometimes I can't resist and sleep inside old and large trees that are empty inside.

I wish I could use magic but every time I try to cast something, the mold appears, and I am scared to touch it.

It is vicious, it seems to have a mind of its own

It wants to eat me and use me as its vessel, as it used me before.

I try to suppress it, but it is trying to eat me from the inside out with those nightmares it is trying to break my mental fortitude, like in my previous life

After living seven years of happiness, my mind is strong and has healed

Every time I am being consumed by the darkness, I remember papa and mama, and I feel at ease

I wonder how they are doing

I hope they are not sad that I went away, it was for their own good

Mama, papa

I miss you

I miss you so much

Haahh

Ungh

I think it has been over a month since I ran away maybe more, I can't remember well

Time goes by strange

I can't perceive things correctly.

I keep walking

My boots are resistant, so I have not damaged my feet

But I have not eaten meat in over a week only herbs and plants, and snow

I feel weakened

My limbs tremble each time I walk, my legs are trembling and becoming weak.

My arms and legs look weak too Hahh

I want to survive I have to keep hunting for food.

I think over three months had gone by, I have been walking deeper into the forest.

Sometimes I begin to hallucinate, depriving myself of sleep is not good

But I don't want to have nightmares

I don't wanna

No

Sometimes I feel like my entire body is giving up.

But when I think about Mama and Papa, a strange warmth enhances my legs, and I can keep walking

I think I can use mana that way but it is very hard It doesn't obey me, and it comes in and out.

And when I try to concentrate on it, the mold appears and scares me

I can't use magic

I am alone, with my weakened body left

Am I going to die?

I don't want to die

If I was going to die anyways Maybe I should have killed myself while sleeping in my bed, comfortable and in my home it would have been way better than dying here

Hahh

I want to live through

I really don't want to live

Mama, papa

I wish you are okay

Wherever you are