Guilt washed over me. I'd been so focused on getting ready in time that I'd forgotten to call him. "I'm so sorry. I was in a hurry. I'm going to a movie with some friends from church tonight. I had a c.r.a.p-load of homework and I've been racing around trying to finish everything."

"Church friends, huh? That's great, Kenz."

I thought of my earlier conversation at lunch with Tanner. It had been two weeks since my huge blow up with Haley and she still wasn't speaking to me. So, to avoid having to face Ian, Caleb and that whole table I had started sitting in the quad at lunch. When I first made the decision I a.s.sumed I would eat alone. In fact, the first day I brought my headphones just in case I needed to listen to music all period. Only to my surprise, Tanner found me.

When he first sat down on the gra.s.s next to me, lunch bag in hand, I was shocked.

"Uh, I think you're in the wrong place."

"What do you mean?" He furrowed his brows.

"Shouldn't you be sitting with your friends? I'm sort of a pariah right now with your group. It was nice of you to help me yesterday, but in the interest of keeping your friends, you might want to get out of here before they see you with me." I shaded my eyes from the sun that blinded me. The tree we sat under was mostly twigs. The leaves had all fallen off.

"They're not really my friends anymore. Ever since I became a Christian, I just don't seem to really fit in with them. They don't understand why I don't want to do some of the things I used to do."

The gra.s.s tickled my legs that were bent under my body. I stretched them out, glancing down at the spidery pattern left on my flesh. "I totally understand." It seemed that Tanner got me in a way no one else in the school did.

So, every day since then Tanner has sat with me at lunch. Even though a part of me felt weird about hanging out with another boy when I had a boyfriend, I was also really grateful for the friendship.

This afternoon, while we ate lunch, Tanner told me was going with a group from church to the three dollar movies at Regal. It was funny how quickly Tanner had made friends at the church when I hadn't made any. But he'd always been so charismatic. He could make friends anywhere.

He asked me to join them. At first I was going to say no, but the thought of spending another night at home alone, watching TV and eating a frozen dinner did not appeal to me at all.

"Okay." I smiled. "That sounds like fun."

"Great. I'll pick you up at four thirty."

Now, as I talked with Isaac I felt like I was betraying him by riding to the movies with Tanner. I mean, he was just a friend and we hung out at school together every day so it wasn't like I had anything to feel guilty about. Tanner knew all about Isaac. In fact, I'd totally talked his ear off about him. We were just friends. That was all. It was no big deal. I brushed the thoughts away and continued my conversation with Isaac.

It wasn't until I hung up that I realized, even though Tanner knew all about Isaac, I still hadn't told Isaac anything about Tanner.

When I heard the knock at the door, I slipped on my black flats and raced down the hallway. My sleek blonde hair brushed against my shoulders and my floral skirt swished around my thighs. I hoped I wasn't overdressed for the movies. It was just that it had been so long since I'd gone out. Frankly, I was tired of my sweats and t-shirts.

"Oooh la la," Mom cooed as I pa.s.sed her. She sat on the couch a tattered paperback in her hand. I glanced at it and winced at the scary looking creature on the front. Since when did Mom start reading horror novels? "Who are you all dressed up for?"

Yeah, I was clearly overdressed. For a second, I contemplated running back to my room and throwing on a pair of jeans. Then the knockings resumed. I decided to answer first. When I opened the door, my heart stopped. Even though Tanner was only in a collared shirt and jeans, he looked amazing. The shirt was white and brought out his tanned skin, blond hair and blue eyes. No matter what I wore, next to him I would look underdressed. I glanced over at Mom who raised her eyebrows. Embarra.s.sed, I averted my gaze.

"Come in," I mumbled. "I'm just gonna grab my sweater. The Regal Cinema is always so cold." I gave Mom a warning look and hurried down the hallway. When I got to my room, I took deep breaths. What was I doing? I never should have said yes to going to the movies with him. This totally felt like a date.

My thoughts drifted to my tall, dark and handsome boyfriend. He was the boy who held my heart. The first boy I ever loved. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and sent him off a text.

Thinking of u.

His reply came quickly. I'm always thinking of u.

My heart skipped a beat, and a smile played on my lips. I wished so badly that Isaac was here so he could go to the movies with us. Heck, if he lived here, he and Tanner would probably be friends. We'd probably all hang out. Tanner was a nice guy. He was a good friend. However, I loved Isaac and he was the only one I wanted to be with.

The phone vibrated in my hand. I glanced down.

I love u.

I texted back that I loved him too and then tucked the phone away. Satisfied that I was doing nothing wrong, I grabbed my sweater and headed back out to Tanner.

The lobby of the movie theatre smelled of popcorn and b.u.t.ter. It made my stomach rumble. Tanner introduced me to Janna, Rick, Toby and Garrett. I had seen all of them at church before but never talked to them. They all seemed nice. I was particularly interested in getting to know Janna, but she was mostly interested in Rick. Judging by how touchy-feely they were, it was obvious they were a couple. It made me wish more girls had come. I was really hoping to make a new girlfriend.

While Tanner and I stood in line for popcorn and sodas, I spotted Scarlet holding hands with another boy just a few feet away. She wore a mini skirt and high-heeled sandals, which showed off her long, shapely legs. I was struck, as always, by how beautiful she was. When she and Tanner were together everyone in school called them Ken and Barbie. When she glanced in our direction, I saw Tanner's face redden. When she walked away, I turned to Tanner.

"You okay?"

He nodded.

"It must be weird seeing her with someone else. I mean, it is for me, even. You two were together forever." When I noticed how irritated he looked, I scolded myself for rambling on like that. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. It is weird."

It was the most Tanner had ever said about Scarlet. He never talked about her at all. I decided to capitalize on it.

"So, how come you guys broke up?"

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. That's fine." I wished I hadn't even asked. It was none of my business. My hand flitted up to my neck and I wrapped the chain of my cross necklace nervously around my index finger.

"So, what's with the necklace?" Tanner asked. "You wear it all the time. Is it, like, from your grandma or something?"

I dropped my hand. The chain tickled my neck as it fell back into place. "No, it was a gift from Isaac. He gave it to me on our last day together."

Tanner nodded. "Smart dude."

That was not the response I was expecting. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you were leaving and he didn't want you to forget about him. So, he gave you something to wear so he'd always be on your mind." Tanner smirked. "It's genius, really."

I bristled. "That's not why he gave it to me. I would think about Isaac even if I didn't have a necklace as a reminder."

"Sure." Tanner winked.

Angered, I turned away. We moved forward in the line.

"Hey, I was just teasing you." Tanner spoke softly.

I felt silly for getting so angry. Why did I keep letting him get under my skin. It didn't matter what he thought about my relationship with Isaac. I knew the truth.

"I know." I smiled at him as we stepped to the counter to order.

After Tanner and I bought sodas and popcorn, we headed into the theatre. Janna and Rick had planned this evening and they chose one of those vampire love stories. Not my favorite, but it beat a sitcom on my bunny-eared television. I settled into one of the springy chairs with popcorn in my lap. As I munched on the b.u.t.tery kernels, I relaxed. It was fun being out with friends. I glanced over at Tanner's profile, blue light from the screen flickering over his cheek. He still seemed agitated over running into Scarlet. I wondered if she was somewhere in this theatre. It seemed like he was wondering the same thing by the way his gaze scanned the room instead of focusing on the screen.

He looked over at me and I felt embarra.s.sed that he caught me staring. I flashed him a smile and looked back at the movie. As I did, I saw a man standing in the corner of the room facing me. He wore a hood over his face, but his arm was out and he beckoned me with a slow roll of his bony fingers. A chill ran down my spine. I squinted, trying to make him out in the dim light. He reached his skeletal arm up and lifted off his hood, revealing his face. It was Wesley. I gasped. He smiled.

"What's wrong?" Tanner asked. The rest of our group turned to me, perplexed. Panicked, I looked back to where Wesley stood but no one was there. I exhaled. It was just a figment of my imagination. That was all. Most likely spurred on by this violent movie.

"Sorry, it was nothing. Just startled by the movie." I attempted a lighthearted giggle, and shrugged my shoulders. Tanner smiled and nodded, as if to tell me he understood. But of course, he didn't. n.o.body did.

After Tanner dropped me off, I started feeling really bad about keeping Isaac in the dark about him. If I wasn't doing anything wrong, there was no reason to hide it from him. So, after slipping into my pj's I sat on my bed and dialed his number. It was after ten o'clock and his voice was groggy when he said h.e.l.lo.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" I hugged my legs to my chest.

"It's okay. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice."

I felt sick. I didn't want to tell him now. What if he got mad at me? I didn't think I could take it. I'd already lost one friend recently.

"Is everything okay?" I could hear the rustling of covers in the background. I pictured him sitting up in his bed.

"I wish you were here," I whispered, feeling close to tears.

"What's going on, Kenz?"

"I just....well...I need to tell you something."

"You can tell me anything. You know that."

"I know." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Isaac, I haven't been completely honest with you lately."

Chapter Nine.

"What do you mean?" I detected the wariness in his voice.

"It's not that I lied to you or anything. I just didn't tell you everything."

"You're scaring me, Kenzie."

I was scaring myself. If only I hadn't started to talk. It's not like he would have ever found out about Tanner and furthermore, nothing was going on between us. We were just friends. But now that I had made such a big deal about it, he would think there was something going on. Maybe I should just tell him something else. Yes, that was it. I could tell him about thinking I saw Wesley at the theatre. I sat up, and the cross necklace rubbed against my skin.

No, I had to tell the truth. I knew better than anyone how dangerous a secret was; how it could fester and poison.

"Remember how I told you I made a new friend at church?"

"Yeah."

"The friend is a guy."

"And?"

"That's it. That's what I didn't tell you."

A relieved laugh slipped through the retriever. "Kenzie, you're allowed to have friends who are guys. I thought you were going to say you had feelings for him or something. But as long as you're just friends that's okay."

My heart soared. I had been worried for nothing. I should have known Isaac wouldn't be mad. He wasn't weird or controlling. Besides, he trusted me.

"Yeah, we're just friends."

"And it's not like you hang out alone together," he added. "You went out with a group from church, right?"

"Yes, I did." My stomach clenched. It was true that we had gone out with a group to the movies, but Tanner and I had spent plenty of time alone together. I made a vow to stop doing that. From now on, I would make sure we were always in a group. Then I would have nothing to feel guilty about.

"Kenzie," Isaac's voice was soft. "I'm really glad you told me the truth. It's hard to be in a long distance relationship. We have to be able to be honest with each other."

He was so understanding, so sweet. "I miss you, Isaac."

"Christmas will be here before you know it," he responded.

As I drifted off to sleep that night, I fantasized about Christmas with Grandma and Isaac. The thought made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

b.u.mp. Thump. Crash.

I sat upright in my bed. The covers fell from my shoulders and gathered around my waist. My room was dark. The light from the streetlamp shone through the cracks in the blinds, slashing across my walls.

Footfalls. Another thump.

The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention. Sweat beaded along my shoulder blades. My heart hammered in my chest. I crept off my bed, and tiptoed out of the room.

A crash made me jump. I clutched my chest, feeling my heartbeat bounce under my fingertips. I peeked into my mom's room but she was gone. Her covers lie in a pile on the ground near the end of her bed. Her sheets were twisted as if someone had yanked her out of them. My stomach dropped.

More noises came from the family room. What was going on? I tiptoed down the hallway, scarcely breathing. Cold hair slapped me in the face.

The front door was wide open. The freezing night air rushed in. Our family room was ransacked. My Bible was flapping on the floor, and some of the pages were ripped out and littered the carpet. The end table was toppled over, a chair was overturned. A gla.s.s of water had spilled over and soaked the ground.

Swallowing hard, I took a step forward. My defenses were up. I swiveled my head in every direction, ready for someone to spring from the shadows. A woman's voice caught my attention. It sounded like Mom. I followed the voice, which came from outside.

She stood on the gra.s.s, her sheer nightgown billowing around her like a cloud. Her blond hair framed her face in a ragged mess. She spoke in a monotonous voice like a chant. Almost as if she was reciting something. Her eyes were gla.s.sy, her pupils wide.

"Mom?" I stepped onto the gra.s.s. It was cold and wet under my bare feet.

She stared right through me. Her face was pale against the dark sky. Her flesh seemed to glow in the darkness.

"Mom?" I repeated but again she was unresponsive. Her lips continued to move in her unintelligible chant.

"Who did this? Did someone hurt you?"