And you think dying-

or at least not living-

is the best way to find it.

And I totally don't get that."

Krista says what I said,

then turns to me.

"I get that," she chokes out.

"He thinks he could've stopped you.

He thinks he could've saved you."

"I could have."

Mickey grips the neck of the guitar.

"I could've kept the drugs

out of his hands."

I shake my head.

"You saw me turn it down,

just like you and Siobhan-"

"I should've known,"

Mickey says over me.

"I should've known

that record company rep

would push him harder

when I wasn't looking.

He was always so eager to please.

I should've asked later.

One question: 'Did you keep the cocaine?'

But I was too busy

and too annoyed,

thinking, He's a such a big shot now

he can take care of himself,

and if he can't,

that's his fault."

Mickey closes his eyes.

"One question.

It could've saved his life."