005

Once the bones have been engraved, that person whose bones were engraved would be in tremendous pain to the point of not wanting to live any more. But once it was done, they would not be able to remember anything any more.

When he heard Fu Hong Wen would be in pain, Zhao Li Xin laughed elatedly, tears seeping out from the corners of his eyes, “No problem, it is not me who is in pain anyways.”

How could he not be hurt? When he knew there was a child after another, his heart was hurting at every moment. When the first child appeared, he thought up of an excuse in Fu Hong Wen's place. But when there was second, and then a third…… Zhao Li Xin himself did not know how much innocent children's blood he had soiled his hands with already.

Fu Hong Wen should have not provoked him from the beginning- he clearly gave him a chance to redeem himself.

Until the very last moment, Zhao Li Xin could not help but close his eyes for a while. Once again, he dreamed of the Fu Hong Wen that year, who would smile kindly once he saw him, and even though his white clothing was dirtied with a layer of dust, it would not affect his handsomeness even one bit. Over his shoulder would hang a bundle of candied gourds, red and plump, like he had offered his entire heart to him.

“If you are upset in the future, you should eat more of these. My little sister had said, every time she buys these things, whatever unhappy feelings she had would disappear on the spot.”

That was all just a way to coax a person.

It had seemed that Zhao Li Xin had not told Fu Hong Wen before, but he did not like eating candied gourds. But when he saw his forehead full of sweat, after having a bite of the candied gourd, he felt that Fu Miao Han was not lying after all- eating this kind of thing did really make him feel better.

But as more and more beauties came into the residence, Zhao Li Xin had even accrued a stomach ache from too much of it, but not once did the candied gourds make him happy at all.

He was a fool to be coaxed by such a thing. Who said eating candied gourds would make him happy? Clearly, it had made him worse off.

When he opened his eyes, he lifted his head, entranced from looking at the Grand Tutor that had stood before him like that year, unable to bear his nose aching, tenderly calling out to him, “Grand Tutor”.

It was as though Fu Hong Wen's smile had not ever changed, filled with affection towards him. He stretched out a hand and stroked his head, and said, “Princess, let's go back home.”

It was like this period of time and him had never changed from the past, Zhao Li Xin had thought- his Grand Tutor had truly come back.

The people of the Princess residence had already left. The bone engraver looked at the backs of Zhao Li Xin and Fu Hong Wen together, the expression in their eyes unclear.

After bringing Fu Hong Wen from the bone engraving, Zhao Li Xin had long kicked out all the beauties from the residence. When it was known Imperial Concubine Liu had brought another batch over, he could no longer take it, and left straight for the other party's palace.

“Xin'er has already been married for so many years, how is it that you are still this rash[1]?

“I am afraid if I were not like the winds and fire, Mother's hands would have already reached deep into my Princess residence.”

“Such impudence.” Imperial Concubine Liu slammed her hand on the table, coldly laughing, “It is you that does not understand your place, and had to go beg your Father for this grace. What now? Are you placing the blame on me for you becoming the joke of the capital?

Fiddling with the flower she just arranged, Imperial Concubine Liu's eyes had a strong sense of malice and ridicule, “What? It was you that chose this path originally, do not tell me you are regretting it now?

With a deep breath, he held back the urge to slice apart the person in front of him into a million pieces, baring his teeth, “What is it that will make Mother let go of me?”

“It is you that won't let me go!” Imperial Consort Liu's gaze brought about hatred, coldly staring at Zhao Li Xin, “Had you married afar from the beginning, and not appear before me at this moment, not remind me every minute and hour that I still had a knife suspended at my throat, how would I be like this?”

The hatred from his own birth mother had made Zhao Li Xin thought of it funny, “And so? It is for your own so called rea.s.surance that I have to give up my own happiness?”

Even though the him right now had no happiness to speak of.

“Zhao Li Xin, this what what you forced me to choose in the beginning.” Imperial Concubine Liu had completely lost her usual harmonious character, and now was just like a ordinary villainous wife, spitting out the most malicious words toward her own son, “If you have the capability, you keep letting your good husband not leave his seed around. You just keep feeding each and every one those bowls of abortion drugs if you think you have the capability to.”

“How did those rumours around the capital go again? The heart of snakes and scorpions[2]! The affection you first had is nothing but a joke now.”

“How could I have had such a son as disgusting as you, who would willingly sink so low. Rather than a subject for the Emperor, you'd rather play your princess, marry to a man, and willingly retire to a position below other people.”

He should have long known, the one thing this mother of his could not tolerate the most was to see him live well-off.

Zhao Li Xin calmly looked at the women whose face was filled with delight, the thousands upon thousands of words he wanted to say at last reduced down to one sentence, “Mother, do not force me.”

Before he left, Imperial Concubine Liu's unrestrained laughter resounded from his back. Zhao Li Xin knew, she was laughing at him.

Zhao Li Xin could never understand- how could there be a mother that would treat her own child like this, almost like treating one as though a foe who killed their own father, pus.h.i.+ng the other party to fall towards the abyss. He was envious of Fu Hong Wen and Fu Miao Han- they had parents who were very affectionate and had loved them very much.

In an epiphany, he had remembered when he had recently married into the Fu family, that couple was affectionate toward him, treating him like their own child. Before meeting Fu Hong Wen, he had never before experienced parental love, a lover's sympathy, as well as the kindness between someone's arms; after meeting Fu Hong Wen, these were all things he had once.

Yes, once.

When did it start? Was it when he killed Fu Hong Wen's first child, or was it the one after? The way the Fu couple had treated him went from regret, to pity, until it was simply complete hate.

Right now, other than a Fu Hong Wen, he truly had nothing left.

Not knowing how he got back to the Princess residence, when Zhao Li Xin raised his eyes, he saw that Fu Hong Wen was waiting by the entrance for him. A smile appeared as soon as he saw him, “You were taking quite a long time, it worried me a bit, so I waited at the entrance for you. I was thinking that once you came back, it would be nice if the first person you saw was me and not the servants.”

As though the Fu Hong Wen in front of his eyes and the one in his distant memories had overlapped, Zhao Li Xin could not help but throw himself into his embrace, quietly calling out his name.

"I am here.”

The warm, familiar embrace had calmed Zhao Li Xin a lot, and the discomfort he had originally received from Imperial Concubine Liu had turned a bit better.

It's all right. He still has his Hong Wen.

That's right, he still had his unchanged Hong Wen.

Zhao Li Xin eagerly raised his head to give Fu Hong Wen a kiss, the intimate interaction between the mouth and tongue had given him a bit of sense of reality. He urgently needed Fu Hong Wen. He wanted to know that all of this was real, and not just a fantasy of his making.

He was still the Chun An Princess that shared affection with the Grand Tutor like the beginning, and not the villainous wife from the capital's rumours.

“Hong Wen, Hong Wen……” Zhao Li Xin clung onto Fu Hong Wen's neck, looked upon the man who was captivated by him with reddened eyes, the seductive meaning in his eyes grew even more, but at the same time, as did the normally hidden unease, “Hong Wen, tell me, this is not a dream, that everything is real.”

“It is real. Everything is real.”

You are still my brilliant pearl that s.h.i.+nes upon the moon as before- that will forever not change.

“Xin'er, I love you.”

[1] Read, like the winds blowing and fires spreading; too much in a haste

[2] Your choice between merciless, cruel, or malicious.