A group of well-dressed men and women quietly appeared in the courtyard. They threw themselves at me and got down on their knees.

I looked at them and didn't know what was expected of me.

"The lucky moment is here, Lady Yehonala," one of them finally said. "Please allow us to help you into your chamber." I realized that they were my servants.

I lifted my robe and was about to take a step when I heard a tremendous noise beyond the walls.

My legs nearly gave out and the servants rushed to hold me up. I was told that the sound was from a Chinese gong. This was the moment when Emperor Hsien Feng and Empress Nuharoo entered the Grand Nuptial Chamber.

I had heard about Imperial wedding rituals from Big Sister Fann. I was familiar with the nuptial bed and its sun-colored gauze curtain, covered with fertility designs. I remembered Fann's description of the bright yellow satin quilt, which was embroidered with a hundred children playing.

Many years later Nuharoo told me that the scent in the Imperial chamber was the sweetest she had ever known. The smell came from the nuptial bed itself, which was made of fragrant sandalwood. She described how she was received. She had three golden phoenixes on her head, and she was accompanied by Chief Eunuch Shim, who carried her insignia.

After she stepped down from her palanquin, she walked through the Hall of Maternal Blessing. She then entered the nuptial chamber, which was in the Palace of Earthly Tranquility. It was in this sweet-smelling room that Nuharoo changed her costume from cool yellow to warm. With a piece of sun-colored silk over her head and eyes, she pledged herself to Emperor Hsien Feng and drank from the wedding cup.

"The walls of the chamber were so red that I thought something had gone wrong with my eyes," Nuharoo recalled years later, smiling. "The room felt empty because it was extremely large. On its north side were the thrones, and on the south a great red brick bed was warmed by a fire underneath."

I had correctly imagined it all. The setting and ritual matched Nuharoo's account. But while I was living it, I merely tried to survive the moment. I was not prepared for my own disappointment.

I told myself that I had no reason to weep. I told myself that it was greedy of me to feel that I needed more than what was granted. Yet sadness refused to leave me. I tried to picture Ping and his disgusting opium-stained teeth. But my mind went on its own path. It brought me the melody of my favorite opera, The Love of Little Jade The Love of Little Jade-the story of a housemaiden and her soldier lover. When I thought of how the soldier brought his bride a piece of soap as a wedding gift and how happy it made her feel, my tears ran.

Why did my eyes fail to find pleasure in this room filled with treasure? My servants dressed me in a gorgeous apricot-colored satin robe dotted with sweet plum blossoms-a dress I had worn many times in my dreams. I walked toward the dressing mirror and saw an astonishing beauty. On my head was a dragonfly hairpin inlaid with rubies, sapphires, pearls, tourmalines, tiger-eyes and kingfisher feathers. I turned around and looked at the room's furnishings, its mosaic panels of gems and abundant harvests. On my left were cabinets of red sandalwood ornamented with jade and precious stones, on my right a rosewood washstand inlaid with mother-of-pearl. Behind me were bed screens made of the most valuable ancient paintings.

My heart shouts: What else would you, could you, dare you want, Orchid? What else would you, could you, dare you want, Orchid?

I was cold, but I was told to leave my door open during the day. I sat down on my bed, covered with a beige spread. Eight folded comforters made of the finest silk and cotton were stacked against the wall. The floor-length bed curtains were embroidered with white wisteria. The red border had pink and green peonies on it.

I saw Chief Eunuch Shim walk by my window with a group of young eunuchs following him. "Why are the lanterns not lit?" He was displeased. Then he saw me through the window. With a humble smile on his face Chief Eunuch Shim got down on his knees and said, "Lady Yehonala, your slave Shim at your service."

"Rise, please." I stepped out into the yard.

"Have the slaves introduced themselves, Lady Yehonala?" Shim asked, still on his knees.

"Not yet," I replied.

"They should be punished, then. It is their duty." He rose and snapped his fingers.

Two large-framed eunuchs appeared, each holding a leather whip longer than a man.

I was confused. I didn't know what Chief Eunuch Shim intended to do.

"The guilty ones, line up!" he ordered.

Trembling, my servants lined up.

Two buckets of water were brought. The large eunuchs dipped their whips in them.

"Chief Shim," I called. "Please understand that it is not my servants' fault that they haven't introduced themselves. I was not ready until now."

"Are you forgiving your slaves?" Chief Eunuch Shim asked, a wicked smile crossing his face. "You should expect nothing less than perfection from your slaves, Lady Yehonala. The slaves must be punished. The Forbidden City tradition can be summed up in six words: Respect comes out of a whip."

"I am sorry, Chief Shim. I can't see myself whipping anyone who did no wrong." I regretted the slip of my tongue, but it was too late.

"I am sure the servants are are guilty." Shim was annoyed. He turned around and kicked a young eunuch. guilty." Shim was annoyed. He turned around and kicked a young eunuch.

I felt violated and retreated to my room.

Chief Eunuch Shim took his time to reveal the purpose of his visit. We were in my sitting room with more than twenty servants and eunuchs present. With an air of concerned patience he explained to me how the Forbidden City was run. He introduced the various departments and craft shops, most of which seemed to fall under his authority. He was in charge of the departments that supervised the vaults of gold and silver bullion, furs, porcelain, silk and tea; he was also responsible for those who provided the court with the sacrificial animals, grain and fruit for religious ceremonies. He controlled the eunuchs who looked after the kennels where Pekingese were bred. He oversaw the departments that maintained the palaces, temples, gardens and herb farms.

I stood with my back straight and my chin slightly raised. Even if Chief Shim was merely displaying his own power, I was glad to be informed. Besides the locations of the courts and the schools that educated the princes, he told me about the Imperial armory, which served as the palace police. "My duties extend to the Imperial b.u.t.tery, the Imperial weaving and dye shops, also the bureaus that take care of the Emperor's boats, wardrobes, games, the printing offices, the libraries, the silkworm and honey farms."

Of all the departments, the royal theatricals interested me the most. Also the Imperial craft workshops, which produced the work of China's most talented artists and craftsmen.

"I have many responsibilities," Chief Eunuch Shim concluded. "But above all, I exist to safeguard the authenticity of Emperor Hsien Feng's succession."

I realized that he expected me to acknowledge his power. "Guide me, Chief Shim, please," I began, "for I am a naive girl from the countryside of Wuhu, and I shall be grateful for your advice and protection."

Satisfied with my manners, he revealed that he was here to fulfill two orders from my mother-in-law. First was to reward me with a cat.

"The days will be long for you, living in the Forbidden City," Chief Eunuch Shim said, waving for a eunuch to bring up a box. "And the cat will be your companion."

I opened the box and saw a beautiful white creature. "What is its name?" I asked.

"Snow," Shim replied. "It's a she, of course."

I gently picked up the cat. It had a pair of lovely tiger's eyes. It looked frightened. "Snow, welcome!"

Second, Chief Eunuch Shim notified me of my yearly allowance. "It will be five bars of gold, one thousand taels of silver, thirty bolts of satin, silk and cotton cloth, fifteen sheets of buffalo, sheep, snake and rabbit skin, and one hundred silver b.u.t.tons. It sounds like a lot, but you will run short by the end of the year, because you are responsible for paying the salaries of your six eunuchs, six ladies in waiting, four maids and three chefs. The maids attend to your personal needs, while the eunuchs clean, garden and deliver messages. The eunuchs are also responsible for tending your sleep. For the first year they will take turns, with five sleeping outside your bedchamber and one inside. You will not get to pick the eunuch who will sleep in your room until the Grand Empress thinks you are ready."

The servants stared blankly at me. I had no idea what was on their minds.

"I have a.s.signed you the best servants." Chief Eunuch Shim smiled a crooked smile. "The ones who snore I have given to Lady Mei, and the ones who are lazy I have given to Lady Hui. I have a.s.signed the wicked ones to Lady Yun and ..." He glanced at me and paused, as if expecting me to say something.

It was the court's unspoken tradition to reward a eunuch for such a display of loyalty. This of course I knew, but my mistrust of Shim prevented me from seizing the opportunity. I wondered what he would say about me in front of Nuharoo and Ladies Yun, Li, Soo, Mei and Hui. I was sure he had enough tricks in his bag to fool everybody.

"May I know the treatment of His Majesty's other wives?" I asked. "Where will they be living?"

"Well, Empress Nuharoo will spend the remainder of this week with Emperor Hsien Feng in the Palace of Earthly Tranquility. She will then move to the Palace of Reception of Heaven to live. Lady Yun has been given the Palace of Universal Inheritance, Lady Li the Palace of Eternal Peace, Lady Mei the Palace of Great Mercy and Lady Hui the Palace of Prolonging Happiness."

"What about Soo?"

"Lady Soo has been sent back to her parents in the south. Her health needs to be attended to. The Palace of Pleasant Sunshine is reserved for her when she returns."

"Why are the other ladies' palaces all located on the east side of the Forbidden City? Who else besides me lives on the west side?"

"You are the only one who lives on the west side, Lady Yehonala."

"May I know why?"

Chief Eunuch Shim lowered his voice to a whisper. "My lady, you may get yourself in trouble by asking too many questions. However, I am willing to risk losing my tongue to satisfy you. But first I need your total trust. May I have your word?"

I hesitated and then nodded.

Shim leaned toward me and placed his mouth near my earlobe. "It could be either Emperor Hsien Feng's or the Grand Empress's idea to place you where you are. You see, if it was the Grand Empress's idea ... Forgive me, I am nervous about telling you this ... Her Majesty has a habit of placing her favorites near her on the east side. It is for her convenience, so that she may summon them whenever she needs a companion."

"Are you saying that she disfavors me and doesn't want me near?"

"I didn't say that. You made the deduction yourself."

"Is it not true?"

"I won't answer that."

"What about Emperor Hsien Feng? What if it was his idea?"

"If the idea came from His Majesty, it is a sign that he adores you-therefore he wants you as far away from his mother as possible. In other words, he makes it inconvenient for the Grand Empress to spy on him if he decides to visit you. Go on and congratulate yourself, my lady."

Soon after he left, I sent a servant with two hundred taels of silver as a gift. It was a lot, but I felt it necessary. Without Chief Eunuch Shim I would be a blind person walking on a path filled with traps. Nonetheless, I sensed that he was a man to be feared.

Evening was coming on. The sky darkened. The leaves on the trees turned black, as if the green was stained with ink. The edges of the clouds wrinkled and folded out of one shape and into another. Crows returned to their nests on high branches. They sounded shrill, as if their day had been hard.

I called in my servants and said that I would like to have dinner. The eunuchs and ladies in waiting bowed and took my order to the kitchen. The last eunuch in the line didn't rise. He stayed on his knees demanding attention. I was annoyed and told him to remove himself.

But when he raised his eyes, I recognized him. He was the young eunuch I had met on the day of my selection, the one who had brought me water.

"An-te-hai?" I called, almost excitedly.

"Yes, my lady!" He answered with equal enthusiasm. "An-te-hai, your faithful slave."

I stood and offered him both of my arms.

He pushed himself a few steps back, reminding me of my status.

I sat back down and we both smiled.

"So, An-te-hai, what do you want?"

"Lady Yehonala, I understand that you can order my death any time if my words upset you. But there is something I must say."

"You have my permission."

He hesitated and then raised his gaze to look me directly in the eye.

"I am good for you," he said.

"That I already know."

"Will you make me your first attendant?"

I stood up. "How dare you make such a request when I've just arrived."

An-te-hai knocked his forehead on the ground. "Punish me, Lady Yehonala." He raised his hand and began to slap his cheeks left and right.

I didn't know what to do. He kept on, as if what he was slapping was some other face, not his own.

"Enough!" I yelled.

The eunuch stopped. He looked at me with a strange longing, his eyes filling with the tears of a worshiper.

"What makes you think you can serve me better than the others?" I asked.

An-te-hai raised his eyes from the floor and said, "Because I offer what others don't."

"And what is that?"

"Advice, my lady. In my humble opinion, time and luck are not necessarily on your side at the moment. My advice can help you get ahead in this place. I am an expert on Imperial etiquette, for example."

"You are very confident, An-te-hai."

"I am the best in the Forbidden City."

"How would I confirm this?"

"Test me, my lady. You will find out."

"How many years has it been since you entered the Forbidden City?"

"Four years."

"What have you achieved?"

"A belief, my lady."

"A belief?"

"It is that the big melon I carry between my shoulders is a tough one. I have equipped myself with knowledge of Imperial society. I know the names of the builders of the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace and the Grand Round Garden. I know their locations even on the astrological map. I can explain why there are no trees planted between the Palaces of Supreme Harmony, Central Harmony and Preserving Harmony."

"Keep going, An-te-hai."

"Concubines of Emperor Hsien Feng's father and grandfather are my friends. They live in the Palace of Benevolent Tranquility. I know each of their stories and their relationship to His Majesty. I can tell you how the palace gets its heat in the winter and how it stays cool in the summer. I can tell you where your drinking water is from. I am familiar with the Forbidden City's murders and ghosts, the stories behind the mysterious outbreaks of fire and sudden disappearances of people. I know the sentinels at the gates, and I am a personal friend of many of the guards, which means that I can go in and out of the palaces like a cat."

I tried not to show that I was impressed.

He told me that Emperor Hsien Feng had two beds in his bedroom. Each night, both beds were made and the curtains drawn so no one would know in which bed His Majesty lay. An-te-hai let me know that his knowledge extended beyond the Imperial household, to the outer court and the functioning of the government. His secret for gaining information was to lead everyone to believe that he was harmless.

"So you are a natural spy."

"For you, my lady, I'm willing to be anything."