Emperor Hsien Feng remained still. I bid a silent farewell.

There was a light knock at the door.

I stood in the moonlight.

The door was gently pushed open. Chief Eunuch Shim's figure blocked the moon. He threw himself on the ground and bowed toward the sleeping Emperor. "It's time for me to fetch Lady Yehonala, Your Majesty."

No response came from the bed.

Chief Eunuch Shim repeated himself.

Snoring was Emperor Hsien Feng's reply.

With no hesitation, Shim waved and four other eunuchs stepped in. They approached me with the litter. They took me by the arms and placed me on it and carried me outside.

Just as Shim was about to close the door, a sudden wailed "No!" erupted from the room.

Signaling his people to halt, Shim went back. He stuck his head inside the bedroom. "Your Majesty?"

There came no answer.

He hesitated for a moment and then signaled for the eunuchs to free me.

I got off the litter and slipped barefoot back into His Majesty's room.

Chief Eunuch Shim pulled the door closed.

I was beyond my good senses.

His Majesty cuddled up behind me. The touch of his skin was exciting. He was still sound asleep. I stayed awake for another hour before I drifted off. In my dream I was being swallowed by a dragon with a shark's mouth. The clouds rolled around me. I struggled to get away from the monster. My shoulders were caught and my chest was pressed. The dragon held me in its claws. "I am potent," it whispered.

I woke. Emperor Hsien Feng was touching me. I had the sensation I felt when I sat on eggs. His hands were cold but his body warm and his movements gentle. He explored.

I wrapped him like a vine around a tree.

He fumbled and his breath grew thick. He seemed to be surprised by his own excitement. One moment he pushed me away, and the next he threw himself back at me.

I tried to recall the steps I had learned from the House of Lotus. But my mind was a stewing pot where my thoughts turned into mushy beans.

"Take it," he whispered. "Are you ready?"

"Ready ... for what, Your Majesty?"

"Don't disgust me. Stick up your behind. Aren't you after my seeds?"

"What does His Majesty expect me to say?"

"Say the lines."

"Lines? What lines? I have ... lost the lines. You don't want to be bored with something you have heard said hundreds of times."

"Be quiet for my ancestors' sake!" Hsien Feng pulled himself away.

I looked at him and found him attractive in his nakedness. I'd better enjoy this, I thought, since I'll never be allowed to see another naked man in my life.

He asked for my thoughts and I reported honestly.

"What a wicked spirit!" he said slowly. "You are calm and unafraid. You look at the Son of Heaven as if he were a tree."

I decided not to interrupt.

"Look, I am obligated to produce the b.l.o.o.d.y sheet. Shim is waiting to collect it. He is waiting to pa.s.s it on to the household officials for examination and the record book. Then they will wait for the sign of an heir. They will calculate the dates on their fingers. The doctors will be called to stand by, day and night, for a sign of pregnancy."

His droning explanation somehow aroused me and I became unafraid.

"You come in armies," he continued. "You don't care how I feel. You come to fill up my bedroom and rob me of my essence. You selfish, greedy, bloodsucking female wolves!"

"I would enjoy our business." Words were pushed out of my chest as if by a strange force.

He was astounded. "You ... would?"

"I am not afraid to stick up my behind." My voice demanded me to release it. "I am here to be your lover. I have paid for this moment dearly. It has not only cost me my ruyi ruyi and hairpin, but has also taken me from my family." My tears came and I had no desire to hold them back. "I haven't allowed myself to miss my mother and my siblings, but I do now, terribly! I haven't cried despite the fact that I've had to spend my days in loneliness, but I do now. I might be selfish, but I am not greedy or a bloodsucking wolf! I am after n.o.body's essence, but I and hairpin, but has also taken me from my family." My tears came and I had no desire to hold them back. "I haven't allowed myself to miss my mother and my siblings, but I do now, terribly! I haven't cried despite the fact that I've had to spend my days in loneliness, but I do now. I might be selfish, but I am not greedy or a bloodsucking wolf! I am after n.o.body's essence, but I am am hungry for affection!" hungry for affection!"

"You ..." He came closer and gently pulled me toward him "These are not the official lines. Who prepared the lines for you? You did? Yourself? Do you have more?"

An urge to perform pleasure rose inside me. "Your Majesty, spare me from answering the question. I was thinking ... if you like, there are dances I know."

Against my will, my mind started to picture a pair of mating silkworms, the moment when half of the male moth's body was swallowed by the female's. I lay half in excitement and half in disgust.

On top of me he groaned, murmuring words I didn't understand. I couldn't believe that the expected pain was not taking place. My body welcomed its intruder.

Emperor Hsien Feng struggled as if performing a difficult task.

I was awkward too. Sticking up my behind was not part of the fan dance. We were like two monkeys exploring ways to settle ourselves. Eventually I was exhausted and lay down on my back. His face appeared above me. His sweat dripped into my mouth. I arched my rib cage and stuck out my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"Keep going," he cried as his breath came to a halt.

I could hear my own thought: Apply what you learned at the House of Lotus! Apply what you learned at the House of Lotus! But I was unable to move my behind. I fumbled and flipped and was on my stomach. But I was unable to move my behind. I fumbled and flipped and was on my stomach.

Hsien Feng sprawled himself on me like a blanket. I felt so surprisingly at home that I wept.

His movements had a rhythm. The lines from an opera came into my head: Cease yearning for the future, my love, for sun will not be brighter and day will not be happier Cease yearning for the future, my love, for sun will not be brighter and day will not be happier ... Pleasure grew and gradually seized me. ... Pleasure grew and gradually seized me.

The Son of Heaven whispered between breaths. I was not sure if I heard the word "seeds."

Before dawn he wanted more. It was then that I had a chance to try my fan dance. I was curious about the effect. It worked. His Majesty praised me as magical. He especially appreciated my calling him "love" in the midst of pa.s.sion, rather than "Your Majesty."

For the next few nights I continued to be summoned. My lover was amazed that he was repeatedly able to plant his seeds. Indulging himself, he begged me to explore. I became anxious about the Grand Empress. She would accuse me of keeping him all to myself, of robbing her of grandchildren "counted in the hundreds." The pleasure of love made us stay up all night. His Majesty held me close. My energy seemed inexhaustible, and I let myself be carried away again and again.

In the mornings we looked at each other as if we had been lovers for years.

"'Magpie Bridge,'" His Majesty uttered one day. "It is the most beautiful tale I have ever heard. The Imperial tutors would never have taught it to me. My head has been stuffed only with rubbish. My studies have been limited to pictures of a broken empire. The lessons never made sense to me. How could all be lost when every emperor has been wise? The tutors could never explain how we have come to owe so much to those who have stolen from us."

I listened attentively.

"The tutors told me that my mission in life was revenge," he continued. "So I was taught hatred. They threatened that I would be given no place in the temple of my ancestors if I didn't perform my duty. My duty is to restore the map of China. But how can I possibly achieve that? China is torn and I am sent to do battle without weapons! This is what my life is about: to be humiliated by barbarians."

He made me feel that I was his friend. Then one night he asked, "What would you like me to grant you?"

"I don't want to say 'to see you again,' but I am afraid that I am beginning to desire that." I tried to take hold of myself, but my tears betrayed me.

"Orchid, don't be distressed. I have the power to give you anything."

My heart took comfort in his promise, but my head warned me not to trust his words in a moment of pa.s.sion. I told myself that tomorrow another concubine would be sent. Another concubine who was as desperate as I was; another concubine who had also offered her life savings to Chief Eunuch Shim.

By the time the sun rose I was back in the Palace of Concentrated Beauty. After washing, I stepped out of the room into the garden.

The weather was clear and the sun bright. The roses and magnolias were just beginning to bloom. In the courtyard, dozens of birdcages hung from the branches of trees. At this hour the eunuchs came to train the Imperial birds. The birds were from all over the country. After a period of training, the best would be sent to Emperor Hsien Feng. He would then distribute them as gifts to his late father's concubines in their palaces.

The eunuchs taught the birds to sing, talk and do tricks. Most of the birds were exotic and had funny names, such as Scholar, Poet, Doctor and Tang Priest. Those who performed were rewarded with crickets and worms. Those who didn't were starved. There were pigeons too. These were all white and allowed to fly freely. An-te-hai's favorite hobby was training pigeons. He tied whistles and bells on the birds' ankles, then let them go. They circled above my palace producing lovely sounds. When the wind was strong the sounds made me think of ancient music.

There was one highly intelligent parrot An-te-hai named Confucius. The bird could recite three-character phrases from the San Tzu Ching. San Tzu Ching. For example, it said, "Men were kind-natured when they were born." An-te-hai gave Confucius to Chief Eunuch Shim as a birthday gift, and he in turn presented it to Emperor Hsien Feng as For example, it said, "Men were kind-natured when they were born." An-te-hai gave Confucius to Chief Eunuch Shim as a birthday gift, and he in turn presented it to Emperor Hsien Feng as his his birthday gift, and then the Emperor rewarded me with the bird. By that time the bird didn't know what it was talking about. It garbled a word, which twisted the meaning. What the parrot Confucius was now saying was "Men were evil-natured when they were born." I wondered if this was the work of His Majesty. I told An-te-hai to spare the bird from correction. birthday gift, and then the Emperor rewarded me with the bird. By that time the bird didn't know what it was talking about. It garbled a word, which twisted the meaning. What the parrot Confucius was now saying was "Men were evil-natured when they were born." I wondered if this was the work of His Majesty. I told An-te-hai to spare the bird from correction.

I also loved the peac.o.c.ks An-te-hai raised. Peac.o.c.ks roamed everywhere in my palace. An-te-hai trained them to follow me. He called them "my Imperial ladies." They lived and bred in my garden. When An-te-hai saw me step out, he would blow a whistle and the peac.o.c.ks would gather and greet me. It was wonderful. The birds made a kind of cackling noise that sounded as if they were chatting. If they were in the right mood they would open their blue and green "dresses" and compete to show off their beauty.

"May luck stay with you, my lady." An-te-hai greeted me with deep bows this morning.

"May luck stay with you!" Other eunuchs, ladies in waiting, maids and even the chefs echoed the sentiment in every corner of the palace -everybody knew by now that I had become His Majesty's favorite.

"Has the morning boat gone out on the ca.n.a.l yet?" I asked An-te-hai. "I'd like to visit the temple on Prospect Hill."

"You can go anywhere, anytime, my lady," An-te-hai said. "This morning Emperor Hsien Feng has ordered that you be sent to him every night. You are on top of the Forbidden City, my lady. If you wish, the court will make a petrified tree bloom and a rotten vine climb."

It was from the top of Prospect Hill that the secret, tranquil, elegant Imperial capital of Peking was best revealed. The hill was actually an artificial mound built to obstruct the descent of the noxious and unpropitious spirits of the north onto the Forbidden City. From its crest the city looked like a magical forest filled with flowering trees and shrubs, more wooded than the countryside itself. Through the foliage the gleaming old yellow-gold tiles showed, and also the bright enameled temple roofs, gatehouses and palaces. The scarlet and emerald pavilions exhibited their fantastically ornate and upturned eaves.

Standing on top of the hill, I was overwhelmed by the idea that I had been blessed by celestial energy. I had been made love to by the Son of Heaven. More important, it was continuing to happen.

As I took a deep breath of fresh air, the golden roof of the Palace of Benevolent Tranquility caught my eye. I remembered the jealous elderly concubines. I remembered the way they stared at me like hungry vultures. One story An-te-hai told would not leave my mind: the fate of a favorite concubine of the Ming Dynasty after the Emperor died. She was trapped in a court conspiracy orchestrated by fellow concubines, and she was buried alive.

I received an unexpected guest: Nuharoo. She had never visited before. I was sure that it had to do with Hsien Feng's spending his nights with me. I had no doubt that her eunuchs spied for her, as An-te-hai spied for me.

Nervous but without panic, I greeted her.

Standing like a gorgeous magnolia, she performed her greeting by bending her knees slightly. I couldn't help but admire her beauty. If I were a man, I would desire her endlessly. Dressed in an apricot-colored satin robe, she was as graceful as a G.o.ddess descended from the clouds. Her sense of n.o.bility seemed inborn. Her lacquered black hair was combed back in a goose-tail shape. A golden hairpin with a string of pearls dangled inches from her forehead. In her presence I lost confidence in my own beauty. I couldn't help but believe that I would lose Emperor Hsien Feng's affection if he took another look at her.

According to custom, I had to get down on my knees and kowtow to receive her. But she walked up and held my arms before I had a chance.

"My dear younger sister," she said, as befitted her rank. She was in fact a year younger than me. "I have brought you some good herbal tea and wild mushrooms. They were sent here from Manchuria. You will need it now." She waved her hand and her eunuchs came and presented me with a beautifully wrapped yellow box.

There was no sign of jealousy, I observed. Her voice bore no disturbance.

"This is the best kind of tang kuei, tang kuei," Nuharoo explained, picking up a dry root. "It is picked from cliffs high above the clouds. It grew from the freshest air and rain. Each is thirty years old or more." She sat down and took the teacup An-te-hai served her.

"You have grown taller since I saw you last." She smiled at An-te-hai. "I also have a gift for you." She waved again and her eunuch brought over a small blue silk box.

An-te-hai threw himself on the floor and kowtowed before taking the box. Nuharoo encouraged him to open it. Inside was a bag of taels. I was sure An-te-hai had never had that much money given to him all at once. He held the box and walked on his knees toward Nuharoo. "An-te-hai doesn't deserve this, Your Majesty!"

"Go and please yourself with it." Nuharoo smiled.

I waited for her to speak about the husband we shared. I waited to hear the words that expressed her frustration. I almost wished that she would say something to insult me. But none came. She sat calmly sipping her tea.

I wondered what made her hold herself so upright and calm. If I were she, I would find it difficult. I would resent my rival and wish myself in her place. Was she putting up a front? Or had she already developed a scheme to destroy me and was now only playing peace to deceive me?

Her quietness bothered me. Eventually I could bear it no longer. I began to confess. I reported that Emperor Hsien Feng had been spending nights with me. I begged Nuharoo for forgiveness, and I worried that my voice lacked sincerity.

"You have done nothing wrong," she said in an even tone.

Confused, I went on. "But I have. I have failed to ask for your advice." I had difficulty continuing. I was unused to faking my emotions. "I was ... was afraid. I was not sure how to report to you. I am inexperienced in court etiquette. I should have kept you informed. I am ready to accept your censure." My mouth was dry and I took up my tea and poured it down my throat.

"Yehonala." Nuharoo put down her cup and wiped her mouth lightly with the tip of her handkerchief. "You have been worrying for the wrong reason. I am not coming to demand Emperor Hsien Feng back." She got up and took my hands in hers. "I have come for two matters. First, of course, is to congratulate you."

A small voice spoke inside my head: Nuharoo, you can't possibly have come to thank me for taking Hsien Feng away. I don't believe you are sincere. Nuharoo, you can't possibly have come to thank me for taking Hsien Feng away. I don't believe you are sincere.

As if reading my mind, Nuharoo nodded. "I am happy for you and for myself."

In accordance with etiquette, I thanked her. But my expression betrayed me. I fear it said, I don't believe you, I don't believe you, a sentiment she may have detected but to which she chose not to respond. a sentiment she may have detected but to which she chose not to respond.

"You see, my sister," Nuharoo's voice was gentle and soft, "in my position as the Empress, my concern is broader than you might imagine. I was taught that once I entered the palace, I would not only be married to His Majesty, but also to the entire Imperial society. The dynasty's welfare is my only concern. It is my duty to see my husband live to meet his obligations. And one such obligation is to produce as many heirs as possible." She paused, and said with her eyes, Yehonala, can you see now that I have come to thank you? Yehonala, can you see now that I have come to thank you?

I bowed to her. I believed that she was conducting this act out of pain. I should offer her, if nothing else, words of understanding.

As if knowing what I was going to say, she raised her right hand. "The second matter of my visit is to tell you the news that Lady Yun has given birth."

"She has? How ... wonderful!"

"It is a girl." Nuharoo sighed. "And the court is disappointed. So is the Grand Empress. I have been feeling sorry for Lady Yun, but sorrier for myself. I haven't been granted fortune by Heaven to conceive a child." Moisture filled her eyes and she took out her handkerchief and began to dab.

"Well, there is time." I comforted her, took her hand. "After all, the Emperor has been married just a year."

"That doesn't mean he hasn't been offered women since his teens. By Hsien Feng's age, twenty-two, Emperor Tao Kuang had produced seventeen children. What concerns me"-she looked around and made a gesture to dismiss the eunuchs-"is that His Majesty has been impotent. This is not just my experience, but Lady Li's, Mei's and Hui's as well. I don't know what you have experienced. Would you tell me?" She looked at me eagerly, and I sensed that she wouldn't desist until her curiosity was satisfied.

I didn't want to share what had happened, so I nodded in silent confirmation of the Emperor's condition.

Relieved, Nuharoo leaned back. "If the Emperor remains son-less, it will be my responsibility and misfortune. I can't imagine the throne being pa.s.sed on to a different clan because of that. It would be a disaster for both of us." She let go of my hand and stood up. "I would like to count on you to bear His Majesty an heir, Yehonala."

I found myself unwilling to trust her words. On the one hand, she wanted to be who she would like to be-an empress who would go down in history as a woman of virtue. On the other hand, she couldn't hide her relief when she found out that Emperor Hsien Feng had been impotent when with me. What would have happened if I had told the truth?

The night after Nuharoo's visit I had a series of nightmares. In the morning An-te-hai woke me up with terrible news. "Snow, my lady-your cat has disappeared!"