"You're right," he said, chuckling slightly. Then he crossed his arms. "I meant for me."

My teeth clenched, gaze locked above. I was tired and upset. I would have much rather been left alone right now.

"How about you?" he questioned. "Having fun babysitting the little guys?"

I rolled my eyes. Oh yes, it's great fun worrying about everyone night and day. I wish evil bad guys would declare war on us more often.

"It's hardly babysitting," I noted. "In fact sometimes I feel more like they're watching me . . ." a smile crossed my face ". . . I don't know what I'd do without them."

"Hmm." He pursed his lips, obviously surprised by my feelings. "I can see you being more useful with us out on the front lines anyways-" I couldn't help but laugh inwardly at how different an outlook this was from Ikovos or Jaden. Even if I had chosen to go with the patrols, I wasn't so sure they'd have let me. "-You have capable enough abilities."

I smiled. "Cornelius has asked me to stay here, so that's what I'm going to do."

He laughed at this, though I don't know why . . . I actually think he just did that at random throughout conversations. Maybe to keep things seeming interesting, who knows . . .

"There's some rumors going around the ranks, you know . . ." he started carefully.

My skin quivered just slightly.

"That you might be capable of more than you let on." His body turned towards me then, arms dropping to his sides.

I looked out nervously, an innocent expression, but I don't think it was working.

"Something like this." He lifted his hand up, grabbing my attention. Then a silver flame shot up in his palm. He had a sly smirk beyond it.

I looked to it, swallowing once, then back up with a forced smile. "What? You mean magic?"

His smirk simply grew, silver eyes almost ghostly in the dark surroundings.

My breath shuddered and I turned my body back out to the woods. "That's just silly."

"Oh, I don't think it is," he said as he pulled my arm to make me face him.

I don't like this.

He moved his free hand up and around mine, feeling through my fingers till he was lifting it up between us, palm out. The silver flame from his own was curling disconcertingly, lighting the area around us. "Come on, Evelyn. I know you can do it."

His eyes were hitting me hard. I swallowed.

"Stop, Holdan. You're scaring me." I turned to tear my hand away and move off, but he just gripped it tighter, pulling me close to him.

"Don't be a baby. Just do one little spell."

My throat constricted. I didn't want his hand on mine any more.

"Holdan!" yelled a voice from the trees. My breath was shaking considerably. The sound of it made my knees melt.

"Do you have a death wish?" he asked fiercely, moving into the light of the flame. Holdan let go immediately, Jaden's face was livid. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I wrapped my now free hands around my body and turned down, sniffling slightly.

"Jaden, relax. I was just messing around." He shrugged defensively.

Jaden moved forward. "You ever treat her like that again and I'll make sure you're thrown out of here for good."

I eyed the ground harder.

Holdan seemed surprised, but duly intimidated.

"Get out of here," said Jaden, moving closer to me.

The silver disappeared a second later, then I heard footsteps walking away, and a door close. I didn't feel brave enough to look up until Jaden reached for the hand Holdan had been gripping.

"You okay?"

I immediately turned back down. "Yeah. I'm-I'm fine . . . he really didn't do anything." I tried to hold my breath as his skin touched mine.

"Maybe . . ." he pulled the hand out closer to him, till he was holding it between his own. "But the last thing you need right now is someone bullying you."

His eyes were down. He traced the tips of my fingers gently with one of his.

My breath quivered. It had to be one of the best things I'd ever felt. My other arm tightened helplessly against my stomach.

"Don't . . . ," I gasped. Too quiet.

"What?" He didn't hear me.

He'd paused in his stroking to ask it. I pulled my hand away then, tucking a hair back as cover for the removal.

I could still sense his reaction.

"Is everyone doing okay inside?" I asked. It came out quite affectedly.

His chest fell once, then he nodded slightly. "Yeah. They're all doing okay. . . ."

"How did it happen?" I put a hand up to my collar bone, trying to still my trembling body.

His head shook then he looked over into the woods. "They were going from their track to the gate, not even a regular route, and the Meoden ambushed them."

His tone was dismal . . . I couldn't help but look over to check his face.

I don't know whether he was already looking at me or if his gaze moved just in time to catch my own, but as soon as soon as our eyes met I had to look away. His stare was so deep and unclouded, everything I wanted to, needed to . . .

"When will you be leaving again?" I asked, forcing myself into reality. The wind blew up around us.

He paused for a long moment, then sighed. "I came to get Holdan so we could go. We're leaving now." He said it rigidly.

My eyes closed, heart dropping. Still I turned my head over happily anyways.

"That's good," I smiled. "I hope you guys get caught up with everything."

His expression was dark and cold, too much for me. I sniffled again, then turned around to head inside.

I only saw him once before they left, and it was only across the room. I was okay though, re-concentrating my thoughts on what I could do for the wounded men. Now that the artisans had gone through everyone, I doubted they were in much pain, but their exhaustion was beyond apparent. I planned to spend the night downstairs with them in case they needed anything, but before I could sleep I had to check on Tanis. Now that the only conscious defense artisan had gone, the idea hit me that maybe he could have taken a look at Tanis . . . then again I remember Ikovos telling me once that they weren't able to cure common sicknesses.

When I reached the study he was still lying down and hardly moving. I stroked him for a while, tried to get him to eat, then dropped my head in my hands sighing heavily.

"Ugh! What can I do? I'm completely useless!"

Jaden and Ikovos were both gone again. All the others were out fighting too. We were losing territory by the day. Now patrols were being attacked. And all without a single word of a victory.

I fingered a bowl on the table.

How long before they attack us here? And I can't even use magic.

With a grunt I knocked it across the room.

What am I doing?!

The bowl rolled across the floor, settling finally with a resounding tap.

I looked over at it, past the coffee table. Then my eyes caught something, attention perking. The book. The silver book with the stories of the Meoden and the Gaeln, it was sitting out -untouched for days now.

"But Ikovos said . . ." My eyes fell. Then I narrowed. "Ah, to heck with Ikovos, I have to do something." A small voice inside me said that that book would tell me how.

I jumped up immediately, snatching it as I left the room. When I'd gotten back downstairs I checked around to make sure everyone was still doing well. There was plenty of pace for them, about eighteen in all. Trevor, Nate, and Lucas had stayed too. They were grouped together over in the corner. The candles that lit the space were sparring, I blew out a few more as I stepped through, then grabbed the last to take by an empty mattress on the floor against the far wall.

Glancing about the silent room once more, I slid down and opened up the glowing book. At first I started off where I'd ended before, but I quickly began to skim through more intently, searching for specific subjects. Before long I was once again completely absorbed within the world it held . . . I barely slept at all that night.

By the time I saw Ikovos the next day, I'd made it through a substantial chunk of it. Enough to convince me that it was worth bringing up to him again.

". . . And if says that that's where the people would go to find them. It's just that . . ."

I stopped in my fervent explanation of a part of the book in time to see Ikovos's head fall over to one side. He was laying in one of the beds in the laundry room, or rather the sickbay as it were.

Being that he was the most advanced defense artisan, he'd arrived at the lodge this morning to help with the injuries. I was glad for it too because his group had gone on without him, which meant that he was going to be staying here for at least two days. Once he'd finished with the boys and caught me up on all that was happening outside, he went to rest on a bed. That's when I'd followed him to show my book . . .

And now he's falling asleep.

"Ikovos," I complained, "are you listening to a word of this?"

He peeked one eye open with the slightest smirk in his eyes. "You were talking about the cream guys again, right?"

"Oh, whatever, you're no help," I said, furrowing my brow then turning my back against the bed.

I opened the book back up to study further. After a second rolled off the mattress to sit beside me on the floor.

"Alright," he said, more alertly. "Tell me again from the beginning. I promise I'll listen this time."

I smiled brightly then closed the book. "Okay, it's too big to tell you everything, but the important part is-""

"May I?" he reached out a hand towards the book..

"Oh, sure." I passed it to him, then he started scanning through it. "Anyways, the part I wanted to tell you about is when it mentions the Meoden's rise in power."

He looked over to me, one brow lifted. I nodded.

"It happens at different points throughout the book. Things will be going well enough, balanced at least, between the good and the bad. Then, for whatever reason, different reasons, out of nowhere they'll gain too much control. That's when things start to go south . . . usually."

"And you think that's what's happening now?" he asked. He was looking at it again, flipping through the pages, checking the first and last.

I stayed quiet. Answer enough.

He darkened, but quickly rearranged his features till they held a much easier expression.

"Alright," he drawled, "so we got attacked a few times. But, Evelyn, come on, some lost outposts and a dozen injured hardly amount to what you're talking about." He flipped the book shut, turning back down.

"I'm not stupid, Ikovos."

His face frowned oddly, eyes shifting to me.

A group of boys walked past us, then I whispered softly, gaze still ahead.

"I know there are things going on that you don't tell me about."

He clenched his jaw and leaned towards me.

"I don't have to know what it is." I interrupted with a gaze. ". . . I just don't want you to keep acting like everything's okay."

He darkened further, almost pityingly, as I turned back ahead.

There was a long pause.

"You said usually."

"What?" My head turned.

"Usually things go south when the Meoden gain power," he repeated. Then passed the book back to me. "Is there another option?"

I warmed at his at least attempt of interest.

"That's what I was telling you before-" I nodded to the tome "-when the humans go to find the Gaeln. . . . If they do, and they are found worthy, deemed to have a righteous cause, the Gaeln will help them."

He narrowed. "How so?"

I shrugged. "Fighting usually. Remember I told you before that they're protectors? Well, supposedly they-. . ." I stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening in recollection.

"Evelyn?" checked Ikovos, brows lifted dubiously.