"Ned," he said, "I'm glad I fell in with you, for I'm uncommon 'ard up just now."

"I never lends money," said Ned, brusquely turning away.

"'Old on, Ned, I don't want yer money, bless yer. I wants to _give_ you money."

"Oh! that's quite another story; fire away, old man."

"Well, you see, I'm 'ard up, as I said, for a man to keep order in my place. The last man I 'ad was a good 'un, 'e was. Six futt one in 'is socks, an' as strong as a 'orse, but by ill luck one night, a sailor-chap that was bigger than 'im come in to the 'all, an' they 'ad a row, an' my man got sitch a lickin' that he 'ad to go to hospital, an'

'e's been there for a week, an' won't be out, they say, for a month or more. Now, Ned, will you take the job? The pay's good an' the fun's considerable. So's the fightin', sometimes, but you'd put a stop to that you know. An', then, you'll 'ave all the day to yourself to do as you like."

"I'm your man," said Ned, promptly.

Thus it came to pa.s.s that the pugilist obtained suitable employment as a peacemaker and keeper of order, for a time at least, in one of those disreputable places of amus.e.m.e.nt where the unfortunate poor of London are taught lessons of vice and vanity which end often in vexation of spirit, not only to themselves, but to the strata of society which rest above them.

One night Ned betook himself to this temple of vice, and on the way was struck by the appearance of a man with a barrow--a sort of book-stall on wheels--who was pushing his way through the crowded street. It was the man who at the temperance meeting had begun with "bah!" and "pooh!" and had ended by putting on the Blue Ribbon. He had once been a comrade of Ned Frog, but had become so very respectable that his old chum scarcely recognised him.

"Hallo! Reggie North, can that be you?"

North let down his barrow, wheeled round, and held out his hand with a hearty, "how are 'ee, old man? W'y you're lookin' well, close cropped an' comfortable, eh! Livin' at Her Majesty's expense lately? Where d'ee live now, Ned? I'd like to come and see you."

Ned told his old comrade the locality of his new abode.

"But I say, North, how respectable you are! What's come over you? not become a travellin' bookseller, have you?"

"That's just what I am, Ned."

"Well, there's no accountin' for taste. I hope it pays."

"Ay, pays splendidly--pays the seller of the books and pays the buyers better."

"How's that?" asked Ned, in some surprise, going up to the barrow; "oh!

I see, Bibles."

"Yes, Ned, Bibles, the Word of G.o.d. Will you buy one?"

"No, thank 'ee," said Ned, drily.

"Here, I'll make you a present o' one, then," returned North, thrusting a Bible into the other's hand; "you can't refuse it of an old comrade.

Good-night. I'll look in on you soon."

"You needn't trouble yourself," Ned called out as his friend went off; and he felt half inclined to fling the Bible after him, but checked himself. It was worth money! so he put it in his pocket and went his way.

The hall was very full that night, a new comic singer of great promise having been announced, and oh! it was sad to see the youths of both s.e.xes, little more than big boys and girls, who went there to smoke, and drink, and enjoy ribald songs and indecent jests!

We do not mean to describe the proceedings. Let it suffice to say that, after one or two songs and a dance had been got through, Ned, part of whose duty it was to announce the performances, rose and in a loud voice said--

"Signor Twittorini will now sing."

The Signor stepped forward at once, and was received with a roar of enthusiastic laughter, for anything more lugubrious and woe-begone than the expression of his face had never been seen on these boards before.

There was a slight look of shyness about him, too, which increased the absurdity of the thing, and it was all _so natural_, as one half-tipsy woman remarked.

So it was--intensely natural--for Signor Twittorini was no other than poor Sammy Twitter in the extremest depths of his despair.

Half-starved, half-mad, yet ashamed to return to his father's house, the miserable boy had wandered in bye streets, and slept in low lodging-houses as long as his funds lasted. Then he tried to get employment with only partial success, until at last, recollecting that he had been noted among his companions for a sweet voice and a certain power of singing serio-comic songs, he thought of a low music-hall into which he had staggered one evening when drunk--as much with misery as with beer. The manager, on hearing a song or two, at once engaged him and brought him out. As poor Sammy knew nothing about acting, it was decided that he should appear in his own garments, which, being shabby-genteel, were pretty well suited for a great Italian singer in low society.

But Sammy had over-rated his own powers. After the first burst of applause was over, he stood gazing at the audience with his mouth half open, vainly attempting to recollect the song he meant to sing, and making such involuntary contortions with his thin visage, that a renewed burst of laughter broke forth. When it had partially subsided, Sammy once more opened his mouth, gave vent to a gasp, burst into tears, and rushed from the stage.

This was the climax! It brought down the house! Never before had they seen such an actor. He was inimitable, and the people made the usual demand for an _encore_ with tremendous fervour, expecting that Signor Twittorini would repeat the scene, probably with variations, and finish off with the promised song. But poor Sammy did not respond.

"I see,--you can improvise," said the manager, quite pleased, "and I've no objection when it's well done like that; but you'd better go on now, and stick to the programme."

"I can't sing," said Sammy, in pa.s.sionate despair.

"Come, come, young feller, I don't like actin' _off_ the stage, an' the audience is gittin' impatient."

"But I tell you I can't sing a note," repeated Sam.

"What! D'ye mean to tell me you're not actin'?"

"I wish I was!" cried poor Sam, glancing upward with tearful eyes and clasping his hands.

"Come now. You've joked enough. Go on and do your part," said the puzzled manager.

"But I tell you I'm _not_ joking. I couldn't sing just now if you was to give me ten thousand pounds!"

It might have been the amount of the sum stated, or the tone in which it was stated--we know not--but the truth of what Sam said was borne so forcibly in upon the manager, that he went into a violent pa.s.sion; sprang at Sam's throat; hustled him towards a back door, and kicked him out into a back lane, where he sat down on an empty packing case, covered his face with his hands, bowed his head on his knees, and wept.

The manager returned on the stage, and, with a calm voice and manner, which proved himself to be a very fair actor, stated that Signor Twittorini had met with a sudden disaster--not a very serious one-- which, however, rendered it impossible for him to re-appear just then, but that, if sufficiently recovered, he would appear towards the close of the evening.

This, with a very significant look and gesture from Ned Frog, quieted the audience to the extent at least of inducing them to do nothing worse than howl continuously for ten minutes, after which they allowed the performances to go on, and saved the keeper of order the trouble of knocking down a few of the most unruly.

Ned was the first to quit the hall when all was over. He did so by the back door, and found Sam still sitting on the door-step.

"What's the matter with ye, youngster?" he said, going up to him.

"You've made a pretty mess of it to-night."

"I couldn't help it--indeed I couldn't. Perhaps I'll do better next time."

"Better! ha! ha! You couldn't ha' done better--if you'd on'y gone on.

But why do ye sit there?"

"Because I've nowhere to go to."

"There's plenty o' common lodgin'-'ouses, ain't there?"

"Yes, but I haven't got a single rap."

"Well, then, ain't there the casual ward? Why don't you go there?

You'll git bed and board for nothin' there."