Sydney swept past him, and he grabbed her arm, holding her at his side. At the soft feel of her, his c.o.c.k stiffened. Instantly. She should not affect him so quickly. He'd had enough s.e.x to be content for a few days, surely. But even the hint of her surrender made heat slide over his skin and pool in his groin. Thick desire muddled his mind until he could only think of possessing her-completely. Duke and Bram and the others could wait.

Caden tumbled her to the bed. She gasped as he rolled her beneath him and positioned himself between her thighs. They wore too many clothes, d.a.m.n it. His jeans, her wispy little nightgown. But he could fix that.

Lifting the hem of her gown, he stared into Sydney's dark, stormy eyes, down at the parted berry lips luring him like a siren call. They looked sweet and plump and perfect, and could be his so easily.

He lowered his head, then hesitated. He knew, knew, that she was his mate. If he kissed her, the words would tumble out. As much as his instincts were screaming yes!, if he followed through, he'd tie himself irrevocably to her, to magic, and this place forever, stuck with a destiny he didn't want. And he'd put Sydney in more danger.

With a growled curse, he levered himself up on shaky arms and sat on the edge of the bed, away from her. b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, if he wasn't breathing hard. His every muscle and nerve urged him to kiss her, spill the words, complete the deed. His head knew better.

"What was that about?" Sydney sat up and was suddenly at his back, melting him with her nearness and the mixed scent of her arousal and anger.

"I should be training with the others."

"You order me about." Her voice hitched. "Tumble me into bed to change the subject, then avoid kissing me, as if I'm diseased."

He whirled and found her earnest face-and temptation-so close. He put distance between them.

"Sydney, the more tangled up in you I get, the more dangerous it is for both of us."

"That didn't stop you from spending two days in my bed." Caden hesitated, hurt tingeing both her words and her expression. Sydney didn't often show her vulnerabilities. Now that she was, he had no good answer to right her smile.

"Witches and wizards require s.e.x during transition. Without it, they will die." The hurt deepened. "So I could have been anyone? Or was I merely convenient because I happened to have that book you wanted so b.l.o.o.d.y bad?"

"I wanted you." He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Only you. Duke insisted he bring in someone else to transition with me, and I refused. It is helpful that you had the book, but even if you hadn't, I would have insisted on being with you. I'm not a heartless cad. I care about you. But having a relationship now isn't smart if we want to stay alive."

"Rubbish! Excuses. Every time we've had s.e.x, you've more than hinted it was against your better judgment. I propositioned; you refused. The night you beat down my door, you couldn't run away quickly enough the next morning. The evening you bent me over my kitchen table, I asked you to make love. Then your transition hit, and I happened to be the only woman handy. All along, you wanted to stop my story more than you wanted me."

Caden's jaw dropped. "You're mad. I want you until I can't breathe, until my thoughts are tangled inside out, until I could nearly die for not touching you. But I don't want your death on my conscience. I don't want to hurt you when I leave."

I don't want to meet the same end as my brother.

"Leave?" She blinked, her thoughts clearly working as she fought tears.

He wanted to rea.s.sure her. But that was pointless.

"Once your brother is well, you'll go back to Dallas?"

"Yes."

"Alone?"

Saying the word would hurt them both, so he merely nodded.

"Which leaves us nowhere." She tensed, absently plucking at a stray thread on the coverlet.

"It's for the best." He willed her to understand. The sooner she could safely leave, the sooner he could resume his normal life and put magic behind him. They could both live, if not happily-ever-after, at least without constantly looking over their shoulder.

"You're being a coward."

The slur felt like a flaming torch to Caden's chest. She didn't understand how much he feared mating and hated magic. She hadn't been running happily with her laughing younger brother through the gra.s.s one moment, then seen him hit by errant magic and fall the next, never to rise again. She couldn't fathom the devastation this war would bring, the growing certainty that, if he mated her, she would be targeted for death. All too clearly, he saw that if he didn't find a way out of this war soon, magic would not only change his life, but ruin it-and hers.

But more explanations would only prolong the inevitable and change nothing.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Caden straightened his clothes and donned his discarded trainers.

"For the first time in my life, I began to think that I might be falling in love with a man who liked and understood me, didn't think my theories were crazy. Supported me. Even my own parents haven't done that." Her voice was a low thing that throbbed with pain, striking him deep in the chest. "If you're going to kill my hope, help me understand."

Love? She might love him? b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l. . . . Surprise washed over him, along with a cold chill in his veins.

Yet wasn't the reverse true? If he really considered the situation, wasn't he falling for the stubborn, brave, intelligent, loyal reporter as well?

"They're waiting for me on the training field." He backed away, toward the door. "You likely won't believe me, but I never meant to hurt you."

With that, he cast one last look at Sydney, looking so soft and kissable among the rumpled bedding.

Then, before he did something reckless he'd regret, he left, closing the door with a soft click behind him.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

NIGHT DESCENDED AND MEALTIME arrived. Bram, Ice, and Duke looked sweaty and haggard after a long day of training and a fruitless evening of searching for Anka. The one responsible for their sore muscles, Marrok, ate energetically, seemingly untaxed by the day's hard work as he consumed nearly his body weight in food. How any one man could eat that much, Sydney had no idea. That he sneaked heated glances at his mate, Olivia, didn't escape her notice either.

Everyone else ignored them. Especially Caden.

Seated beside her, he carefully avoided brushing elbows or looking at her. He said absolutely nothing.

After Sydney's day of nursing Aquarius in a desperate attempt to cool her down, fending off a hundred questions during a brief phone call to Holly, scribbling her thoughts about her next magickind story, and trying not to feel her heart shattering into a million pieces-the distance he put between them hurt.

It was possible during all the time they'd worked, touched, and fought off the Anarki together that he'd come to care for her. But not enough to cross the chasm between them. He wanted to abandon the very world she'd been seeking her whole life. He had some disliking for magic, and if he ever discovered that she'd written in that book to bring him to her bed, he'd hate her for it.

"Any change in Aquarius?" Bram asked, breaking the heavy silence.

Sydney shook her head and picked at the tender meat on her plate. Guilt and heartache were appet.i.te killers. "No."

She supposed she should be thankful that Zain had left her friend alive. She didn't know if his spell prevented her from dying from her injuries or if Sydney's efforts to keep Aquarius cool with compresses and ice packs had helped. Whatever the cause, thankfully, her resilient friend had hung on.

Bram turned to his sister. "Did you call for Conrad, the healer? He's had more experience than Millie, and he tended Marrok well enough a few weeks past." The blonde glanced at Ice before she focused on her brother. "He popped by earlier. Said he's never seen anything like it either. He can't help, but suggested the helbresele spell."

"A healing spell would be lovely, but until Zain awakens and gives his blessing, that's impossible." That didn't improve Sydney's mood. She didn't fully understand the spell, but even if Zain was conscious, he certainly wouldn't consent to help Aquarius.

Sabelle turned toward Caden. "He also looked in on Lucan."

"I spoke with Conrad before he left." From Caden's tone she wondered if his brother's condition had worsened.

"He told you that we should try moving him to his own home? That he might improve with exposure to more familiar surroundings?"

"Yes. I'll be preparing his house over the next day or two. Anka put up a quite a fight, and it's in shambles. As soon as it's ready, I'll move him."

"I'll help," she said. "If moving him will help his condition improve."

"I can lend a hand," Sydney offered.

"No," Caden bit out. "But thank you."

His immediate, adamant refusal stung.

Caden leaned closer and murmured, "I don't want to involve you any more than I must. Let me protect you."

Was he simply trying to keep her safe or had that been a lie to soften the blow? What danger could there be in cleaning up a house?

Sydney suspected that he simply didn't want her there. Had the tenderness he'd once shown her been manufactured by the Doomsday Diary? After all, it granted wishes, and she'd fantasized about him on the page. What they shared had been more than s.e.x. For her, anyway. Now that the spell was gone, so, it appeared, was his caring.

In some ways, she wished she'd never laid eyes on that book. But had she not, Caden would never have let down that mammoth self-control and become her lover.

He had a lot on his plate, true. But deep down she feared he simply didn't want her for more than a s.h.a.g, and she had no one to blame but herself. Rather than dwelling on her screwup, she'd be better served by focusing on her story. Once this ordeal was over, releasing it would be safe. With great copy and proof of magickind's existence, she'd be a journalistic sensation.

But right now, her old life seemed a million miles away. Sydney pushed her plate aside.

"Anyone seen Shock?" Duke ventured, more to change the subject than anything she suspected. The man had disappeared again late last night.

"No. I tried to reach him earlier today to coordinate some last minute plans for our-" Bram glanced her way, then pursed his lips together. "He didn't answer." And whatever he'd been about to say would remain a secret. She understood why Bram didn't trust her, but she wouldn't write a word for Out of This Realm when doing so would endanger them. She'd made that clear to Holly. But they had no reason to trust her.

A series of trills and gongs sounded. Bram sat up straight, listening intently. As soon as the last note faded away, he rose and stalked from the room.

"What's that?" Sydney asked.

Sabelle looked puzzled, but explained, "It's a magical calling card. To be polite, we send a distinct sound to another residence when we wish to visit."

"Each person has an individual bell ring?"

"Something like that."

"Do you know who that one belongs to?" she asked.

"Everyone," Bram called from the narrow dining room's portal. "This is Tynan O'Shea." Mr. O'Shea was, in a word, yummy. Hair as dark and shiny as ink and slightly spiked, as if he were ready for a photo shoot. A rugged face, a strong chin, and bronzed skin all gave the appearance of a hearty outdoorsman. But his flat gray eyes looked as if all life and happiness had been sucked dry.

He held up a large palm by way of greeting, not meeting anyone's eye, then turned an intense gaze back to Bram. Clearly, he wasn't here to be sociable.

"Sit." Bram gestured toward an empty seat at the table.

"Hungry?"

O'Shea shook his head. "I came to talk. I want answers."

"Has something happened to your family?"

Slowly, he shook his head, then he swallowed. "I've heard whispers that Mathias has returned." Sydney frowned. Whispers? Of course Mathias had returned. How could Tynan not know?

Bram shifted in his chair. "Have you asked your grandfather?" Tynan drilled him with a derisive stare. "Would I be here if I'd gotten answers?"

"Officially, as a Council member, I'm not at liberty to -"

"The devil with the Council!" Tynan erupted suddenly.

"Who killed Auropha MacKinnett?"

Clearing his throat, Bram sighed. Sydney got the distinct impression that Bram was stalling for time.

"We haven't yet determined precisely-"

"The truth, d.a.m.n you!" O'Shea looked ready to burst a blood vessel. His olive complexion flushed red.

His eyes flared to furious life, like smoke and danger and determination. "Was it Mathias?"

"There are rumors that some rogue vestige of the Anarki are trying to wreak havoc."

"I hear others have been attacked!" O'Shea pointed out. "People claim they've seen Mathias. I saw Auropha's body." He choked on the last word.

Sydney's heart went out to him. The man looked genuinely anguished. And furious, as if he had a death wish. As long as he could avenge Auropha first, Tynan O'Shea would die a satisfied man.

"Tell me the b.l.o.o.d.y truth!" Tynan demanded.

Mathias on the loose should be all over magickind's version of the news. Maybe he'd been living in a fishbowl? Sydney saw confusion and desperate need in his expression. The man fisted his hands, clearly trying to hold back. Tension vibrated in the air, and she had little doubt O'Shea was close to snapping.

"You know I'm not allowed to speak of Council matters," Bram said finally.

"Do not f.u.c.k with me," he growled. "I loved Auropha. She was to be my mate after her transition next year. If that Satan's sp.a.w.n raped her until she found her nextlife, then I want to show him his. The more painful his death, the better."

Sydney held her breath. Ice cursed softly. Duke looked at Bram, seemingly waiting for a cue. Would no one tell this grieving man about the Doomsday Brethren?

"d.a.m.n it, have you formed a clandestine army? There are whispers. I visited the Pullman family after they were attacked. One of the neighbors thought you might be gathering warriors to combat Mathias, and doing it under the Council's nose." He rose and growled. "If you're fighting, I want in."

"Mere rumors," Bram said weakly.

Sydney's jaw dropped, then she snapped her mouth shut.

Why would Bram lie?

Tynan sneered. "Only in dire circ.u.mstances would I find a Deprived like Rykard supping at the same table as the ultimate Privileged. You need only your friend Lucan MacTavish to complete the picture.

Where is he?"