VOLUME 9 CHAPTER 33: DON’T TELL ME THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL ENCOUNTER (10)

Liu Bei POV

“Oh~ Imperial Uncle still remembers huh?” Huang Zu said with a nostalgic smile that also seemed a little lonesome at the same time, “Ah… I haven’t touched liquor since then. Now that I’ve been drinking more of this sweet water, I’m beginning to crave something a little bitter.”

She clearly wants to drink liquor. And since there are no battles for her in the foreseeable future, she should not need to follow the rule she set for herself back then.

“Your wounds have yet to fully recover. If you drink now, they might open again.” Yuan Zhi voiced her disapproval.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Just then, Zi Long spoke up in support of Huang Zu, “It’s fine to drink a little. I’ll drink with her, in celebration of finding Xuan De and meeting you both.”

“Xuan De, what do you think?” She whispered softly at the end. I am not particularly attached to liquor but this time and day seems a good time to have some liquor.

“Un, sure.” And so I nodded, and looked up at Yuan Zhi, seeing that she had her head lowered and seemed troubled.

“That’s fine, if you don’t want to drink liquor, then you can drink your sweet water with us.” Zi Long seemed to understand Yuan Zhi’s hesitation and quickly said so.

“… Alright.” Yuan Zhi sank into silence for a moment before accepting and then looked at Huang Zu, “Huang Zu, just drink a bit.”

“Alright.” Huang Zu very quickly a.s.sented and nodded several times before pa.s.sing her gourd to the waiter.

“By the way, Yuan Zhi won’t drink at all?”

The liquor in this era is not very strong at all, and the mood in gatherings tend to lead to drinking at some point.

“No,” Yuan Zhi replied almost immediately and looked at me from the side as she continued, “Because it doesn’t taste good.”

I could never have guessed that it was such a childish reason. But now that I think about it, it really is convincing. When I turned to look at Huang Zu, I saw that she still had her head lowered and was fiddling with the carvings on the table. Looks like she is rather troubled after all.

Alright, I have to admit that I am going to be a busybody again.

“Lord Huang Zu, are you thinking about what will happen after you return?” I asked, because I felt that being this direct was the only way to make her open up.

The first few days when I met Huang Zu, I could feel that she seemed more pleasant and less gloomy than before, as though she was free from her chains before. But these last couple of days, she seemed extremely indifferent and distant– Though she does seem that way usually.

I do not know if her happy countenance from before was just an act or if her later gloom was because she felt troubled at the thought of returning to Xiangyang. Probably both, I guess.

“Un… I suppose so.” Huang Zu did not react to my question with hostility. Instead, she just gave a long sigh and sank into thought.

“You’re probably going to ask for forgiveness after you return right?” I asked, remembering what she said before.

“Yes, I will be asking for forgiveness.” Huang Zu repeated and raised her head to look up at the sky, her fringe parting as she did so.

Though I could not see her face clearly, she was definitely beautiful. Even if she was scarred.

“But I don’t know what I should do after that.”

“Eh?”

“I think that being executed would be a lot better. I’m

actually afraid if I succeed in getting a pardon.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid that you will continue to lose battles in future and let your lord be more disappointed?” Just then, Zi Long cut in and explained.

“Un.” Huang Zu honestly nodded and did not say anything else.

“Victory is indeed important, but if there are victories, there will be losses. At times like those, it all depends on one’s state of mind.” I said to Huang Zu, feeling confident that these words made sense.

“Xuan De, what are you even saying?”

“Eh?”

Zi Long frowned and had a ‘don’t try and mislead others when you are nothing’ expression on as she continued, “If you can win, of course you must win. Even if you can’t win, you have to create a chance to win. Because if you lose, there is no way you can answer to your dead troops. The things you lose can never come back.”

“Ah…” I was completely shut down by Zi Long and realised that the remaining value system I had from my era was not really useful here and hurriedly lowered my head, “I’m sorry, I take back what I said before.”

As I hurriedly apologised, Zi Long sighed and looked at me with a slight gleam in her eyes, “Xuan De is really alike with Bo Gui on these things huh…”

Eh? With Gongsun Zan? Could it be that Gongsun Zan said similar words?

“In any case, Lord Huang Zu shouldn’t listen to Xuan De.” Before I could ask Zi Long, she turned and spoke to Huang Zu, “Just do everything you can and use your head as much as possible.”

The bowls and gourd filled with liquor came just as she finished and Zi Long took a long draught, giving a long, satisfied sigh after she did so.

“Un…” Huang Zu nodded and seemed like she was still deep in thought.

What Zi Long said was definitely a lot more helpful than what I said. Now that I am alive again, I must continue working hard, I thought as I finished the wine in my bowl in 1 go.

“Alright, now that we are fed and watered, we should get moving as soon as possible.” Seeing that I had finished my liquor, Zi Long said as she got up, “There’s still one final stretch before we get to Xinye and it will be good to get there as soon as possible.”

I was about to say that myself.

When she finished, Zi Long made her way to her horse in no time at all while Yuan Zhi went to keep her stuff and pack up. Huang Zu, on the other hand, stopped thinking and took 2 more sips before putting her gourd back at her waist.

As I looked at Huang Zu, who was the only other person at the table, I felt that I ought to speak to her.

“Lord Huang Zu,” I said as I stood up and went to where she was, “Though it was just a misunderstanding, thank you very much for standing up for me before.”

“Un? That’s fine. It’s just a misunderstanding after all, and we resolved it.”

“Ah, yes.”

Huang Zu continued to fiddle with the gourd the whole time and never raised her head to look at me. As I looked at the face which appeared now and then underneath her long fringe, I felt that it was time for me to tell her what Liu Biao told me about her.

“Lord Huang Zu, did you know? When I returned to Xiangyang, elder brother was very sad to hear that you’d died.”

“…” When I finished, it seemed like Huang Zu completely stopped moving and quietly listened. When I looked at her eyes, I saw surprise, relief and regret. So, I decided to tell her what I wanted to tell her the most–

“You must know that elder brother thought of you as his own daughter.” As I said so, I s.h.i.+fted my gaze away from her face and walked a few steps away from Huang Zu before continuing softly, “So please don’t say hurtful things like you’d rather be executed. If it’s elder brother, he will only be happy that you survived.”

“… Thanks.” A soft, but clear voice came from behind. When I heard this, I felt that I had achieved what I wanted and went over to my horse.

Huang Zu followed behind a little while later but she never spoke about this. Nevertheless, I feel that I have delivered the message. If not, she will not have an expression that looks like she cannot wait to return to Xiang Yang.

Even if for a while more, I hope elder brother can remain well.

Meng De POV

Xuan De really is dead.

I can finally accept this reality after a short period of dealing with it.

But I have to admit, that in this period, I had a really tough time forgetting that man who did not have any special traits. I just simply could not forget him.

But if I am unable to forget Xuan De, then I will not be able to take a step out as I need to. Nor will I be able to accelerate my plans.

So, I have forgotten. Forgotten the pain and sorrow, as well as the happiness and joy. As well as everything else in between.

“Meng De.”

“Un?”

A rather anxious voice came in outside. After I answered, I looked out and saw a one-eyed girl who was wearing just cloth clothing walking towards me.

“Yuan Rang huh?” I felt like my mood was disrupted and s.h.i.+fted my gaze back to the chair, “What is it? Did you have any doubts about what we decided during today’s Court session?”

“Ah, no. I’m 100% clear on the deployment to the south.” Yuan Rang frowned somewhat and stopped several paces before me as she lowered her head and saluted. Why is she being so formal to me? This is very uncharacteristic of her.

“So what is it?” I asked again.

“Un…”

“Just spit it out, don’t think about it any further. Look at how anxious and hesitant you are.”

At this point, I could guess that Yuan Rang was not here to nag at me and raised my head to look at her as I waited for her to say what she was here for.

When she saw this, she very quickly delivered her reason for coming here, “Meng De, I’m actually here on behalf of our Imperial Court colleagues.” Yuan Rang took a deep breath and continued, “Meng De, haven’t you been executing a few too many people lately?”