Yun Chang POV

It was now noon, the sun peeked out from the grey clouds and lit up the residence.

At the entrance stood 2 people, with another laying on the floor. The sharp blade glimmered under the radiance of the sun.

When Bian Xi fell, the axemen all retreated in various directions as though this had been agreed upon.

“Wen Yuan…” I called out weakly to Wen Yuan who stood at the entrance with her glaive, and was at a loss as to what I ought to say.

My path…

“Yun Chang, let’s get out of here quick while Bian Xi is knocked out!”

Eh?

Wen Yuan flew into the room and picked up Hua Tuo as she said so while Liao Hua and Lu Bu carried Gan Qing and Mi Zhen respectively.

Eh??

“General Guan, don’t just stand there.” Liao Hua turned and looked at me with a calm expression, “We won’t be able to re-supply but we still have enough provisions for the time being so let’s go.”

Ah! I grabbed my glaive and quickly made for the entrance.

As I left, I stepped across Bian Xi’s body and saw that she had her eyes closed in a peaceful expression. Her cheeks were also still a healthy shade.

Wen Yuan didn’t cut down Bian Xi. She only knocked her out with her hilt.

Hu. I exhaled and ran up to the rest who were ahead.

I thought there might be more hindrances but we didn’t encounter much resistance from a.s.sembling our convoy to exiting the city.

Only after we’d made it a few miles out away from the city did I rest easy.

“Yun Chang.”

“Eh?!” I got a shock when Wen Yuan suddenly clapped my shoulder.

“I feel like you’re a little weird these few days.”

“Un? Am I? A, am I?” I shook my head as I said so but my expression probably betrayed how I really felt.

“Yun Chang… I don’t know what happened, but I feel like you’ve been pretty distracted after the incident in Luoyang.”

Was it that obvious? I got a shock inside but I quickly accepted the reality before me. Since Wen Yuan asked me outright, I can only tell her the whole truth.

I wavered between feeling that I should and shouldn’t share how I felt and was somehow able to more or less deliver the critical parts of what had been troubling me these few days in dribs and drabs.

“Oh, so that’s what it’s all about huh.” Wen Yuan seemed relaxed as always, and didn’t seem to be perturbed when I finished.

“I’m starting to feel that my definition of good and evil might not be right. Leaving aside Yu Jin, I feel that Bian Xi and Han Fu were not wrong in doing what they did, and that the ones in the wrong were us who broke through the pa.s.ses.”

That’s right. It is unjust for us to do so.

“But with Yu Jin, wasn’t it because of Meng Huo who unilaterally attacked? We’re not responsible for that right?”

“No, if I had been more a.s.sertive then, we might have been able to wait there for a permit and it would have ended well.”

“But Yun Chang, how would you have known then that the gatekeeper general wasn’t someone like Han Fu?”

“…” I sank into silence, because I didn’t have a reply. I don’t how I ought to view people, and my ideals and couldn’t resolve this dilemma.

Wen Yuan laughed when she saw how I looked, “Hahaha! Yun Chang, you really are…” She shook her head and narrowed her eyes as she continued, “We aren’t saints so how could we walk a path that doesn’t have conflict in it?”

“…” I continued to remain silent. I understood what she meant but didn’t know how to deal with that.

“When the ideals we stand for clash with those of others, I feel that we should protect our ideals with all of our strength.”

“But what if the ideals we hold dear are wrong?”

“There is no right or wrong when it comes to one’s own ideals,” Wen Yuan replied as she stroked the horse’s mane, her expression still bright as before, “What we must do is to be steadfast to our ideals and respect the ideals of others.”

“Respect…” Is confronting the ideals of others with all your strength respect for them?

Is that why Bian Xi resisted us, meagre as she was? Was it the same with Yu Jin? Even if they were treacherous, was it the same with Han Fu and Meng Tan as well?

“Yun Chang, don’t think too much. We just need to continue following our path. Doubts may arise from time to time but all we can do is to follow through with what we believe in the best we can, and leave the rest to fate.” She raised her reins when she saw that I had begun to perk up and continued, “Yun Chang, do you still remember what you told me about your ideals when we first met?”

Wen Yuan galloped off to the front when she finished.

The ideals I spoke about…

— I seek to follow a path where I can one day face everything and everyone with a righteous heart.

One day… Huh. I smiled as I thought back to what I said.

“General Guan need not be too hasty. Life is a long and windy journey. You will find your answer eventually.” Just then, Liao Hua, the one who believed I could reach an answer, rode up to me.

“It’s fine even if you don’t ever find an answer. There’s no point in agonising over it throughout your life after all.” Lu Bu spoke up to me on the other side, “For now, Lord Guan Yu, can you tell Wen Yuan to stop for a bit… The rest of our convoy can’t keep up…”

“Ah, un.” I hurriedly acknowledged her as I swung my reins and rode up to Wen Yuan.

That’s right, why do I have to be so anxious about finding an answer now?

All I have to focus on now is to keep advancing!