WRITTEN BY XAPHHAUGUST 6, 2016
Yun Chang POV
After a day and half of rest and recovery, we left Luoyang city at first light on the 3rd day. After the battle at Luoyang, the several hundred men we had suffered a fair number of casualties and were now just barely enough to guard our convoy.
And Meng Huo and the Nanman did not follow us for now. They were fascinated by the sights in Luoyang and were not too concerned with getting across the river as quickly as possible.
“Blade girl, we’ll be staying here for a few days more.” Meng Huo said to me as he sent us out, “You Central Plain-ers have too much on your mind and if you want to keep advancing, you have to set some things down.”
His words were uncharacteristic of him, but perhaps it’s because they seem uncharacteristic that those words have more weight.
“Un, I understand.” I replied as I saluted him in thanks.
“We’ll meet again at the river crossing.” They said as they sent us off, staying to watch us outside Luoyang city until we were out of sight.
Are the people of Nanman all this warm?
“General Guan, do you really not want to summon some of Luoyang’s guards?” Just as I was preoccupied random thoughts, Liao Hua parted the veil on her hat and spoke to me with an indifferent expression. It didn’t look cold but I couldn’t feel any warmth from it either.
“No. Now that you have left Luoyang as well, there might be some unrest in Luoyang so the city needs all the guards it can get.”
On the other hand, after that battle, I experienced firsthand how weak the soldiers of Luoyang city were. Of course, I won’t mention this as a reason.
As for Liao Hua, she still followed even after numerous attempts to turn her down.
She left the Administrator seal in the Administrator residence and wrote 2 letters, 1 for her resignation and another, a recommendation for Administrator. And now she was just an ordinary person with no official position.
And so, Meng Huo and the Nanman have left us temporarily while we have gained an old-fas.h.i.+oned girl, Liao Hua.
But really, why did Liao Hua choose to come with us all of a sudden? We only knew each other for less than an hour and she’d decided to hand over Luoyang to us, and thereafter, to leave with us.
It’s a little too absurd.
I looked ahead and saw Wen Yuan and Lu Bu discussing something over the map. Feeling bored, I decided to ask the question that had been bothering me. “Umm Liao Hua.”
“What is it, General Guan?” She replied in a low voice as usual as she sat on the horse with her back fully straight, in a position that would not have seemed out of place in a textbook.
Looking at Liao Hua who was like this, I couldn’t help but feel serious as well.
“I wanted to ask, where are you planning to go from here on?”
“Where ever works, as long as I’m with you all.”
“Hai~ Alright then,” At her words, I had no choice but to cut to the chase and ask what was bothering me, “If you just want to be witness to history, why do you have to follow us then?”
“… General Guan wants the truth from me?”
“Un, I really don’t understand why you must follow us.”
“It’s not like I can’t talk about it,” She paused and turned to look at me for the first time with an honest gleam in her eyes, “I can’t really put my finger to it, but I feel that everyone’s paths are very murky.”
“Eh?”
Our paths are murky?
I don’t know about Lu Bu but for me, I follow the path of loyalty and honour, and I have been doing so.
When she saw my puzzled look, Liao Hua did not seem perturbed and continued explaining, “Now that we’ve established Han Fu and Meng Tan as treacherous villains, if it weren’t General Lu Bu but General Guan back in Luoyang city then, what would you have done?”
“If it were me, I would definitely have made the same choices as Lord Lu Bu did then.”
That’s right. As one who holds loyalty and honour above all, eradicating evil is a duty I adhere to.
Liao Hua was pleased at my answer and nodded, “Then let me give you an example. Let’s say that Han Fu and Meng Tan were truly virtuous and upright men. Would you still kill them under those circ.u.mstances?”
“Then… I’ll save the girls without killing them then.”
I would probably be able to achieve this. Lu Bu and Wen Yuan could probably do so as well.
“Then, what if the ones you faced weren’t the weak Han Fu and Meng Tan but yourself?”
“You mean someone who is as strong as me and is also a virtuous individual?”
“Un, you can say that.”
“No, that’s impossible.” I shook my head as I said so, “If I were the Administrator, I would not take the weak and unarmed as hostages.”
“But, had General Guan ever thought that–” Liao Hua paused and waited for all my attention to be on her before she continued, “The other side has done so in adherence to his or her own treasured virtues, and is following his or her own path in doing so?”
Adherence to own virtues… Did they have their own path as well?
“Impossible, what sort of virtues would condone taking the weak as hostages?”
“General Guan, do you know of the importance of a permit when crossing the pa.s.s for a gatekeeper general?” Liao Hua continued when she saw my contempt, “If the gatekeeper general lets someone of grave importance cross the pa.s.s without a permit, they will be executed.”
“Eh?”
There… Was such a thing?
“Whether it’s Yu Jin of Dongling Pa.s.s or Han Fu of Luoyang city; to them, having a permit to cross their pa.s.s is their ‘path’ to follow. And so, what you think General Guan and your companions are to them?”
Dishonourable people… Huh?
I slowly recited the answer in my heart.
As Liao Hua said, our request was unreasonable to the gatekeeper generals.
All this while, I’ve always believed that the path I walked was the right one, and all those who were in my way were wrong. But in reality, they were just trying to follow their own path, and being loyal to the ones they should be loyal to.
Then if my path wasn’t wrong, and neither was theirs, then… What is virtuous? What is not virtuous?
“…”
When she saw me sink into thought, Liao Hua slowly blinked and began to speak again, “The path of virtue is one that is contradictory to begin with. Even if you can judge yourself, you cannot judge others. And this is the path that General Guan has chosen. I don’t know what path the other 2 generals have chosen but I feel that they should be lost as well.”
Liao Hua wasn’t very old but she could see through many things. Perhaps it’s a gift, or perhaps she acquired it.
But I must say, her words are starting to raise a lot of questions inside me.
“Then could it be that the path of virtue is one that leads to nowhere?”
“No,” Liao Hua replied and smiled at me for the first time when she heard my muttering, “I feel that General Guan can find a way to resolve this conundrum, and that is why I have chosen to follow General Guan.”
“Eh?”
I can resolve it?
“General Guan is decisive, when you meet with trouble, you do not get anxious, and you do not act without thinking things through. As a virtuous and upright individual, you are already excellent. Perhaps you may not have detected it yet but you have already unknowingly found a way to resolve the contradiction.”
She seemed to have said all she wanted to say, and put her veil back down, “My oath is to be witness to history, and the path of others. And I am willing to follow General Guan on your journey down the path of virtue.”
Liao Hua was finished, but I wasn’t.
Xuan De, is my path really correct?