WRITTEN BY XAPHHJULY 6, 2016

Liu Bei POV

Honestly, I’ve always found it difficult to understand how Meng De and Ben Chu were able to stand out at such a young age and raise and command armies numbering tens of thousands.

I kept thinking about it the entire way back only to realise how foolish it was of me. Why am I applying common sense from the original history to this Three Kingdoms which is significantly different?

And so, I gave up trying to think about it after that.

Because my side was considered an outsider, our encampment was at a middle-outer region of Liyang. Just walking over from the canteen took close to an hour.

As I brought dinner back, I brought Xu You’s portion as well apart from my own portion.

“Here, Xu You.”

“Ah, thanks Imperial Uncle.” Xu You respectfully received her dinner and seemed a little shy.

It may be a bit strange but Xu You is currently in our encampment.

Xu You was pet.i.te but she had a good figure. Her hair was messy but she still wore an official hat and a hairpin on her head. She looked like she was asleep, and seemed exhausted and devoid of strength. Xu You doesn’t look old from her figure or looks but she said that she was already 25. She’s probably one of the oldest people I’ve met thus far.

“Umm,” Just then, Xu You set down her bowl, tidied her clothing and sat up before saying to me, “I am really thankful to Imperial Uncle. If it weren’t for Imperial Uncle, I would not have the good fortune of being able to eat today’s dinner.”

“Ah, it’s alright, you’re being too polite.” I smiled as I waved my hands, “You have your own troubles after all.”

That’s right, Xu You hasn’t eaten in days now.

I do go and get food everyday but the soldiers can’t seem to see me so they always just stand in front of me, Xu You had told me earlier before.

And it seems like she had just gone out to get dinne so I went with the flow of things and invited her here so that she could have dinner with us. By the way, Zi Long and Gong You have already eaten and are now doing their own things. They had offered to help me take dinner but it still feels weird to have others take care of me so I turned down their offer.

“But Xu You, even if your existence is a bit weak, it can’t be to the level where you can’t get food right. And even if so, you could have gotten help from your own guards.”

“… No, one’s own things must be done by oneself.” Xu You shook her head at my words, “When I was an official in Luoyang, times were tough and I got used to it then.”

“Un? Life in Luoyang was tough?”

“It was alright at first but after the previous Emperor (Ling of Han) a.s.sumed the throne, the eunuchs began to abuse their power and many officials were accused of corruption and locked away. To prevent such false allegations, we could only live austerely.”

“I never knew…”

“Of course, it doesn’t seem so bad once you get used to it.” At my surprise, she only smiled and began to devour the not-so-tasty food.

I began to feel respect for Xu You as I quietly looked at her.

In my impression, Xu You was only a traitor who leaked vital information. No matter how good of a strategist she was, the only thing that came to mind was that.

(TL: Xu You is supposed to be greedy and is the one who leaked the information about Wu Chao to Cao Cao.)

But it was clear that this Xu You here wasn’t like that.

“Hai…” Xu You sighed and set down her bowl.

“Un? What’s the matter?”

“No, nothing.” She shook her head weakly. She wanted to show that it was alright but her brows were still locked in a tight frown.

Have they really changed?

I remember hearing these words before, and if I’m not wrong, it was Xu You who said them. Her source of troubles was probably this.

“You said you were an official in Luoyang before?”

“Ah, un. It was Emperor Ling’s administration then, and I held a position in Court.” Xu You said as she took a sip of soup, “Back then Meng De had just been appointed Captain of the Cavalry and Ben Chu had been transferred to the capital from the north due to her prestige. We knew each other from then.”

Hou~ So they had that sort of history huh. I didn’t think they would know each other form so far back.

“That must have been quite a few years now.”

“Un, Meng De and Ben Chu were just 12-13 then but they already felt different from everyone else and were key characters that people in the Court paid attention to.”

As she spoke, respect appeared on Xu You’s face and in her eyes, I could see the recollections she was having.

“Looks like you really respect them huh.” I said, and she laughed.

“Un, I do.” Xu You nodded vigorously, “They hold a very special position in my heart. Though they are younger than me, I’ll never achieve the same stature that Meng De and Ben Chu already have.”

She stopped and closed her eyes as she said so, “But, I would very much like it if I could just walk beside them as equals once more.”

“As equals… Huh.” I felt despondent just repeating Xu You’s words. I didn’t fully understand what she meant by that but I did understand how she felt.

Ambition.

The lofty ambitions of both Meng De and Ben Chu are what makes Xu You feel she cannot match up to them.

“Then why did you join Ben Chu and not Meng De?” I regretted what I said almost immediately.

In history, Xu You eventually joined Cao Cao. If it turns out that, history progresses along this thread because of these words of mine, then wouldn’t it be unfair to Ben Chu?

Just as I was thinking about this, Xu You burst into laughter, “Kekeke…”

She went on for a while and only stopped after seeing my bewildered look, “Ah, sorry, sorry, I just thought of something Ben Chu always said to me.”

“Eh?”

“Ben Chu is always a little lacking compared to Meng De,” She smiled as she said so, “So Ben Chu will always say to me, ‘Zi Yuan, come prank Meng De with me! Let’s see if she can still be so brazen after that!'”

“Eh~”

“Very childish of her right? Though they were always fighting then, they supported each other in secret quite a bit.” Xu You was smiling just as before, but now her smile was beginning to be filled with warmth.

Thereafter, I chatted with Xu You about Meng De and Ben Chu and talked about how they helped and cared about each other. We chatted until the sky was completely dark and I stopped her when she looked tired and got her to rest for the night.

That night, I had a dream. In that dream, Meng De, Ben Chu and Xu You were talking and laughing as they walked side by side with no gap between them at all.