Curious Epitaphs - Part 23
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Part 23

Unto the mournful fate of young JOHN MOORE, Who fell a victim to some villain's power; In Richmond Lane, near to Ask Hall, 'tis said, There was his life most cruelly betray'd.

Shot with a gun, by some abandon'd rake, Then knock'd o' th' head with a hedging stake, His soul, I trust, is with the blest above, There to enjoy eternal rest and love; Then let us pray his murderer to discover, That he to justice may be brought over.

The crime occurred in 1750, and the murderer was never discovered.

From a gravestone in Patcham was copied the following inscription:--

Sacred to the memory of DANIEL SCALES, who was unfortunately shot on Tuesday evening, Nov. 7, 1796.

Alas! swift flew the fated lead, Which pierced through the young man's head, He instant fell, resigned his breath, And closed his languid eyes on death.

And you who to this stone draw near, Oh! pray let fall the pitying tear, From this sad instance may we all Prepare to meet Jehovah's call.

The real story of Scales' death is given in Chambers's "Book of Days," and is as follows: Daniel Scales was a desperate smuggler, and one night he, with many more, was coming from Brighton heavily laden, when the Excise officers and soldiers fell in with them. The smugglers fled in all directions; a riding officer, as such persons were called, met this man, and called upon him to surrender his booty, which he refused to do. The officer knew that "he was too good a man for him, for they had tried it out before; so he shot Daniel through the head."

The following inscription copied from a monument at Darfield, near Barnsley, records a murder which occurred on the spot where the stone is placed:--

Sacred To the memory of THOMAS DEPLEDGE, Who was murdered at Darfield, On the 11th of October, 1841.

At midnight drear by this wayside A murdered man poor DEPLEDGE died, The guiltless victim of a blow Aimed to have brought another low, From men whom he had never harmed By hate and drunken pa.s.sions warmed.

Now learn to shun in youth's fresh spring The courses which to ruin bring.

A stone dated 1853, the Minster graveyard, Beverley, is placed to the memory of the victim of a railway carriage tragedy, and bears the following extraordinary inscription:--

Mysterious was my cause of Death In the Prime of Life I Fell; For days I Lived yet ne'er had breath The secret of my fate to tell.

Farewell my child and husband dear By cruel hands I leave you, Now that I'm dead, and sleeping here, My Murderer may deceive you, Though I am dead, yet I shall live, I must my Murderer meet, And then Evidence, shall give My cause of death complete.

Forgive my child and husband dear, That cruel Man of blood; He soon for murder must appear Before the Son of G.o.d.

Near the west end of Holy Trinity Church, Stalham, Norfolk, may be seen a gravestone bearing the following inscription:--

JAMES AMIES, 1831.

Here lies an honest independent man, Boast more ye great ones if ye can; I have been kicked by a bull and ram, Now let me lay contented as I am.

The following singular verse occurs upon a tombstone contiguous to the chancel door in Grindon churchyard, near Leek, Staffordshire:--

Farewell, dear friends; to follow me prepare; Also our loss we'd have you to beware, And your own business mind. Let us alone, For you have faults great plenty of your own.

Judge not of us, now We are in our Graves Lest ye be Judg'd and awfull Sentence have; For Backbiters, railers, thieves, and liars, Must torment have in Everlasting Fires.

On a stone in the north aisle of the church of St. Peter of Mancroft, Norwich, is the following pathetic inscription:--

SUSAN BROWNE, the last deceased of eleven children (the first ten interr'd before the northern porch) from their surviving parents, John and Susan his wife. She sought a city to come, and upon the 30th of August departed hence and found it.

A{o} aet. 19. Dm. 1686.

Here lies a single Flower scarcely blowne, Ten more, before the Northern Door are strowne, Pluckt from the self-same Stalke, only to be Transplanted to a better Nursery.

From Hedon, in Holderness, East Yorkshire, is the following:--

Here lyeth the body of WILLIAM STRUTTON, of Patrington, Buried the 18{th} of May 1734 Aged 97.

Who had, by his first wife, twenty-eight children, And by a second seventeen; Own father to forty-five Grand-father to eighty-six, Great Grand-father to ninety-seven, And Great, Great-Grand-father to twenty-three; In all two hundred and fifty-one.

In Laurence Lideard churchyard, says Pettigrew, is a similar one:--

The man that rests in this grave has had 8 wives, by whom he had 45 children, and 20 grand- children. He was born rich, lived and died poor, aged 94 years, July 30th, 1774.

Born at Bewdley in Worcestershire in 1650.

According to the epitaph of Ann Jennings at Wolstanton:--

Some have children--some have none-- Here lies the mother of twenty-one.

The following quaint epitaph in Dalry Cemetery commemorates John Robertson, a native of the United States, who died 29th September, 1860, aged 22:--

Oh, stranger! pause, and give one sigh For the sake of him who here doth lie Beneath this little mound of earth, Two thousand miles from land of birth.

The Rev. William Mason, the Hull poet, married in 1765 Mary Sherman, of Hull. Two years later she died of consumption at Bristol. In the Cathedral of that city is a monument containing the following lines by her husband:--

Take, holy earth! all that my soul holds dear: Take that best gift which heaven so lately gave: To Bristol's fount I bore with trembling care Her faded form; she bow'd to taste the wave, And died. Does youth, does beauty, read the line?

Does sympathetic fear their b.r.e.a.s.t.s alarm?

Speak, dead Maria! breathe a strain divine; Ev'n from the grave thou shalt have power to charm.

Bid them be chaste, be innocent, like thee; Bid them in duty's sphere as meekly move; And if so fair, from vanity as free; As firm in friendship, and as fond in love-- Tell them, though 'tis an awful thing to die, ('Twas e'en to thee) yet the dread path once trod, Heav'n lifts its everlasting portals high, And bids "the pure in heart behold their G.o.d."

How different is the sentiment of the foregoing to the following, said by Pettigrew and other compilers of collections of epitaphs to be inscribed on a monument in a c.u.mberland church, but as a matter of fact it does not exist on a memorial:--

Here lies the bodies Of THOMAS BOND and MARY his wife.

She was temperate, chaste, and charitable; BUT She was proud, peevish, and pa.s.sionate.

She was an affectionate wife, and a tender mother: BUT Her husband and child, whom she loved, Seldom saw her countenance without a disgusting frown, Whilst she received visitors, whom she despised, with an endearing smile.

Her behaviour was discreet towards strangers; BUT Independent in her family.

Abroad, her conduct was influenced by good breeding; BUT At home, by ill temper.

She was a professed enemy to flattery, And was seldom known to praise or commend; BUT The talents in which she princ.i.p.ally excelled, Were difference of opinion, and discovering flaws and imperfections.

She was an admirable economist, And, without prodigality, Dispensed plenty to every person in her family; BUT Would sacrifice their eyes to a farthing candle.

She sometimes made her husband happy with her good qualities; BUT Much more frequently miserable--with her many failings: Insomuch that in thirty years cohabitation he often lamented That maugre of all her virtues, He had not, in the whole, enjoyed two years of matrimonial comfort.

AT LENGTH Finding that she had lost the affections of her husband, As well as the regard of her neighbours, Family disputes having been divulged by servants, She died of vexation, July 20, 1768, Aged 48 years.

Her worn out husband survived her four months and two days, And departed this life, Nov. 28, 1768, In the 54th year of his age.

WILLIAM BOND, brother to the deceased, erected this stone, As a _weekly monitor_, to the surviving wives of this parish, That they may avoid the infamy Of having their memories handed to posterity With a PATCH WORK character.

In St. Peter's churchyard, Barton-on-Humber, there is a tombstone with the following strange inscription:--

Doom'd to receive half my soul held dear, The other half with grief, she left me here.

Ask not her name, for she was true and just; Once a fine woman, but now a heap of dust.

As may be inferred, no name is given; the date is 1777. A curious and romantic legend attaches to the epitaph. In the above year an unknown lady of great beauty, who is conjectured to have loved "not wisely, but too well," came to reside in the town. She was accompanied by a gentleman, who left her after making lavish arrangements for her comfort. She was proudly reserved in her manners, frequently took long solitary walks, and studiously avoided all intercourse. In giving birth to a child she died, and did not disclose her name or family connections. After her decease, the gentleman who came with her arrived, and was overwhelmed with grief at the intelligence which awaited him. He took the child away without unravelling the secret, having first ordered the stone to be erected, and delivered into the mason's hands the verse, which is at once a mystery and a memento. Such are the particulars gathered from "The Social History and Antiquities of Barton-on-Humber," by H. W. Ball, issued in 1856. Since the publication of Mr. Ball's book, we have received from him the following notes, which mar somewhat the romantic story as above related. We are informed that the person referred to in the epitaph was the wife of a man named Jonathan Burkitt, who came from the neighbourhood of Grantham. He had been _valet de chambre_ to some gentleman or n.o.bleman, who gave him a large sum of money on his marrying the lady. They came to reside at Barton, where she died in childbirth. Burkitt, after the death of his wife, left the town, taking the infant (a boy), who survived. In about three years he returned, and married a Miss Ostler, daughter of an apothecary at Barton. He there kept the "King's Head," a public-house at that time. The man got through about 2,000 between leaving Grantham and marrying his second wife.

On the north wall of the chancel of Southam Church is a slab to the memory of the Rev. Samuel Sands, who, being embarra.s.sed in consequence of his extensive liberality, committed suicide in his study (now the hall of the rectory). The peculiarity of the inscription, instead of suppressing inquiry, invariably raises curiosity respecting it:--

Near this place was deposited, on the 23rd April, 1815, the remains of S. S., 38 years rector of this parish.

From St. Margaret's, Lynn, on William Scrivenor, cook to the Corporation, who died in 1684, we have the following epitaph:--