"By jingo! youngster, I can tell you, I speak from my own knowledge," he said, as he turned away to go forwards, "I had too much of it once when I was at the Cape before and it gave me the shakes next morning so badly that my teeth rattled like a horse's jaws when chewing a hammer!"

This expression amused me very much, for I had never heard previously of a horse indulging in that species of diet; so, I went up on the quarter-deck to take my watch with a broad smile on my face, which attracted Mr Jellaby's notice at once, as he had a keen relish for a joke.

"Hullo, youngster, you're grinning like a Cheshire cat eating green cheese!" he exclaimed. "I suppose you have heard the news, and that makes you so chirpy?"

This made me all agog in a moment, with the expectation of something very exciting coming, and I answered his question in the Irish fashion, by asking another with much eagerness.

"What news, sir? I haven't heard of any."

"Why, the redcoats belonging to the garrison at Cape Town are going to give a grand ball in our honour, and of course all the gunroom officers as well as the wardroom fellows will be invited," he replied. "I daresay they'll be able to spare you from your important duties aboard for the occasion, and I'll try to smuggle you off myself if I can. By Jove, it will be a splendid hop, for the Cape Town girls are chawming, they tell me!"

I was not old enough yet, however, for this encomium of his on the young ladies of the colony to be any inducement to me, and, to tell the truth, was a little disappointed at hearing what his wonderful news was, imagining it to have been something very different.

"Oh!" I said, without any improved enthusiasm, such as he doubtless expected. "Thank you, sir."

"Well you _are_ an ungrateful young cub!" he cried. "Catch me putting myself out of the way again to give you a treat! One would think from your glum look that I was going to bring you up on the quarter-deck before the captain, instead of offering to take you to the ball!"

I felt quite sorry at having hurt his feelings, he looked so chagrined; but, before I could say anything in excuse for the apathetic way in which I had received his intelligence, Mr Bitpin, who had overheard the conversation, came to my rescue.

"Nonsense, Jellaby!" he said. "What can a boy like that know about girls? Time enough for him to think of the petticoats when he's twenty years older; and then he'll be a fool if he runs after them as much as you do!"

"Ah, you're jealous, Bitpin, because you're not a lady's man!" retorted Mr Jellaby, recovering his good humour in a moment, as he always did, no matter how much he might be put out. "If you were as great a favourite with them as I am, you'd sing a different song, I know."

"As great a fiddlestick!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the other with infinite scorn, having the reputation of being as much of a woman-hater as Diogenes.

"If I was as big an a.s.s about those 'chawming girls' as you call them, I tell you what I would do--I'd go and hang myself!"

He said this so fervently, that, in spite of Mr Bitpin's burlesque of his manner of speaking, "Joe" fairly roared with laughter, in which the gunnery lieutenant, who had just come up from below to see about something deficient in one of the upper deck guns, which had been reported to him by Mr Triggs during the morning's inspection, joined with much gusto.

Their merriment so enraged Mr Bitpin that he went down to the wardroom in the most wrathful mood, declaring that they were a couple of idiots and that the service was going to the devil through the Admiralty neglecting the claims of their best officers and promoting a lot of empty-headed c.o.xcombs, who thought more of prancing about in a ballroom in patent leather pumps than of keeping their watch regularly and attending to their duties aboard ship!

Notwithstanding all adverse comments, however, Mr Jellaby's news of the forthcoming ball proved true, for I heard it confirmed at the captain's table the same evening.

Captain Farmer was in the habit of inviting his officers in turn to dinner three times a week, the commander being a regular guest and one of the lieutenants and mates, with a couple of midshipmen and naval cadets being generally present on each occasion; while the doctor and chaplain, as also the purser and marine officers, only came occasionally to these gatherings, the conversation mostly dealing with professional matters in which those belonging to the executive were mainly interested and the other branches not much concerned.

It was for this reason, I suppose, the captain did not invite these latter officers more often than he could help!

During the progress of the courses this evening, the talk, as usual, was on service topics; but when the cloth had been removed and the toast of "the Queen" honoured in the customary way, each of us youngsters being then allowed our one gla.s.s of wine to drink the health of Her Majesty, Captain Farmer introduced the subject of the garrison ball.

"I have here invitation cards for all of you, even including you, Master Vernon," he said, handing them round and pa.s.sing one over to me which was inscribed with my name in full; the "sojer officers," as Tommy called them, having managed through the purser or master-at-arms, or by some other means, to get hold of all our names correctly, both great and small. "So, gentlemen, we must try and make as brave a show as we can in return for the compliment, the affair really being given in our honour. We need only keep an anchor watch, so nearly all of you may be spared, I think, for the night. You'll have to settle it with the commander as to who shall remain on board."

This was soon settled, Mr Bitpin offering at once to do double duty for the nonce, as he did not care about dancing and besides wished leave for the two following days to go up country on a visit to a Caffre kraal; while Plumper, the fat mate, who had the toothache very badly, also volunteered to remain.

So did the master and purser and Mr McGilpin, the a.s.sistant-surgeon; the latter saying that he had no stomach for consorting with "the meeletary," they being "a maist f.e.c.kless set o' loons."

As for the middies and us cadets, we had to draw lots to decide who should go and who stop behind; but, at the last moment, the commander gave permission for us all to go, save Andrews, who had been impertinent to the first lieutenant in the afternoon and was ordered to remain in the ship.

I was not sorry I went, after all, for it was a jolly affair and I enjoyed myself mightily, especially at the supper table, where the redcoats shone to perfection; this opinion of mine being shared, I believe, by most of my fellow youngsters, who cared more for the grand tuck out they had than all the dancing in the world.

I noticed, though, that Mr Jellaby kept up his reputation as a lady's man, waltzing and flirting all the evening with an awfully fat Dutch frau, who was broader of beam than comported with her short stature, and whom the susceptible lieutenant subsequently described as "the most chawming woman" he had ever met in his life! "Joe" got awfully chaffed about her by all of his brother officers of the wardroom whose rank permitted them to take such a liberty with him; and, though we could take no share in their personal amenities, we youngsters grinned our approval of the various witty remarks and rejoinders that pa.s.sed to and fro on our way back aboard the following day--the ball having lasted till long after daybreak the next morning, and Simon's Bay being all astir, with plenty of "Simons," black and white, astir ash.o.r.e and afloat, as we rowed out to the ship, we having nearly outstayed our leave, the captain and commander preceding us aboard by a long spell.

We gave a return dance to the garrison folk and hospitable inhabitants generally the day before we sailed for the China Sea; when the old _Candahar_ was decked out so gaily with bunting and evergreens, with which we were lavishly supplied from the sh.o.r.e, that the riggers of Portsmouth Dockyard would not have known her.

Her upper deck was a perfect parterre of flowers and foliage, intertwined with the flags of all nations, and enclosed under an awning, which latter had a canvas screen all round to keep out the prying eyes of the bluejackets on the forecastle.

Going round with Mr Fortescue Jones, the a.s.sistant-paymaster, whom I had taken a liking to in consequence of his having served under Sir Charles Napier, Dad's old captain and my own personal patron, he noticed this screen and he told me another anecdote of the old admiral, to add to my list.

"His flagship, the _Duke of Wellington_, was lying off Kiel or Copenhagen, I forget which exactly, and the officers were about to give a similar entertainment to ourselves as an acknowledgment of the kind treatment they had received from the inhabitants of the place. Like ours, the ship was decorated throughout regardless of expense, everyone subscribing to the fund, and a screen similar to what we had was being put up when the admiral coming down from the p.o.o.p chanced to notice this.

"'Hullo!' he cried. 'What's that for?'

"'Why, sir,' explained the commander, 'it's to keep the men forrud from staring at the dancers.'

"'The deuce it is!' said the old fellow, taking an awful lot of snuff, Mr Jones remarked," as if I were not acquainted with this habit of the veteran sailor.

"'By whose orders was it rigged up?'

"'Orders, sir?' replied the commander, a bit nonplussed. 'By mine, sir.'

"'Then mine are for you to rig it down at once,' cried the admiral, in a mighty fume, walking up and down and waving his arms about like a windmill backwards and forwards from his waistcoat pocket to his nose.

'I won't have any screens fitted up on board my ship to keep out my sailors from seeing what they have as good a right to see and enjoy as any of those with whom they have fought and bled. No sailors, no ball, or I'm a Russian! You can put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr Commander!'"

"Did the ball come off, Mr Jones," I inquired of the narrator, "after all?"

"No," said he. "The fleet had to sail the very same day for which it was fixed. I believe old Charley arranged that it should be so, on purpose to pay out the commander, who had set his heart on it; for he was very hard on the men always, and the admiral could not stand that."

"He was a good friend, always, to the sailors?" I remarked. "I have heard my father say so."

"Rather! Why, he would do anything for them, regardless of his own comfort, and they in return would follow him anywhere, night or day, in the face of a thousand batteries. He was, indeed, like a father to them," continued the paymaster, who was fond of yarning about his old experiences with the admiral. "I recollect after the bombardment of Bomarsund and the capture of a lot of prizes up the Baltic, we put into Kiel again, and the men wanted to draw advances to have a spree ash.o.r.e, but the admiral told the purser to refuse them, and when they grumbled about it he gave them a 'dressing-down' from the p.o.o.p, having them all piped aft by the bosun for the purpose. 'Lads,' says he, 'I'll let you have ten shillings apiece, but not a farthing more to spend, now! I want you to save all your prize-money for your wives and sweethearts when you return to England, for I don't wish to have my eyes scratched out on Common Hard when I come out of the dockyard on landing, as I should, if I were fool enough to allow you to spend all your money out here instead of making you keep it, as I intend, till you get home!' He was a rare good old sort was the admiral, young Vernon!"

"So I should think," I replied, "from all I have heard."

But there our chat ended, the Cape people just beginning to come off to "cut their capers," as Master Larkyns remarked to me, making me a target as usual for one of his fearful puns.

Our dance was as great a success, I think, as the garrison ball, judging by the approving comments of our guests, who kept it up till the middle watch had well-nigh come to a close.

Mr Jellaby, I noticed, inconstant fellow that he was, payed attentions of the most marked character on this occasion, all the time the festivities lasted to a Cape damsel of the most slender figure, contrasting strongly with the stout lady who was his former flame and who had come off especially, so the wardroom officers said in their chaff, to renew her attack on the heart of the lieutenant.

Mr Jellaby, proved a recreant knight and the Dutch lady had to content herself with the cavalier-ship of the youngest and most diminutive cadet on board, my chum, little Tommy Mills!

But Tommy's gallant championship of the deserted fair one and the lieutenant's fresh flirtation had to terminate, like everything else in this world; and hardly had the last of our visitors quitted the ship than the hands were turned up to weigh anchor, the old _Candahar_ sailing soon after daybreak and shaping a course southwards to pick up the westerly trade winds of the "Roaring Forties."

With studding sails, upper and lower, on each side, we bowled along gaily, the wind right astern all the way some two thousand miles odd or so, until we fetched the meridian of the Island of Saint Paul in the middle of the great southern ocean; when, we hauled up to the north-east and steered for the Straits of Sunda, leading into the China Sea-- finally joining the admiral in command of the station at Singapore, where we cast anchor again in the outer roads one broiling morning in March, just four months from the date of our leaving home.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE.

"THE HEATHEN CHINEE."