DD c49 Complicated Feelings

Sorry, I seem to have drunk too much.

I thought Grandfather would be the only one in this morning, but Ryle and Dida were also in. Grandfather tends to be rather zealous sometimes, so the two being brought with him as escorts cant be helped.

Tanya, can you make sure these two get plenty of water?

Certainly.

Whilst directing a request to Tanya who had been standing at my side, I sit down in the seat opposite from Grandfather.

Grandfather, even if its you, drinking too much will be bad for your health. Shouldnt you lessen the amount of alcohol that you drink?

Kuh

Grandfather grimaced He does love alcohol after all.

And so, how much did you drink last night?

I was drinking with the guys from the Order and the Army. So. I may have had too much fun and decided it wasnt enough, so I took these two and went out drinking.

Geez..

The cause of this is that last decision. Since long ago, Grandfather would take the two out to drink, trying to teach them their limits, but the two would come back unconscious every time. Grandfather has taken a liking to the the two so he sometimes ends up forcing drink after drink on them.

Please excuse the interruption.

Oh. Tanya, what is it?

Rudeus-sama has come to pick up Sir Gazelle.

What!

Grandfather suddenly panicked. Since Grandfather rarely shows that side of him, I laughed.

Tell him Im not here.

But

As Tanya was thinking about how to pass that information to Rudeus, he appeared from behind her.

So Grandfather Ive heard that you drank a store dry again.

No, thats

How many times do I have to tell you to please restrain yourself? Youre a very influential person in this country. It may be peaceful now, but if you were suddenly attacked while you were unconscious, there will be nothing we can do. I beg for you to drink less outside!

Hearing Rudeus argument, it seemed like Grandfathers shoulders shrunk smaller and smaller. Rudeus is my mothers brothers son.. Basically hes my cousin, the head of household and heir to be of the Anderson House. Incidentally, Marquis Anderson says frequently that since hes weaker than Grandfather he doesnt want to be affiliated with the Order or the Army. Similarly, Rudeus isnt affiliated with either and is simply studying to be the successor. Though I dont know what hes studying in particular As one would expect, he is Grandfathers grandson. His athletic ability is similar to that of Ryle or Dida, and his physique is slender but well built.

Its been a long time, Rudi.

It has been a while, Iris. Ah, sorry. Although its a long-awaited reunion, we meet because of this kind of reason.

Im 2 years older than him, so we met during one year at the Academy. But since we were in different years, meeting him was difficult, and near the end I was also banished from the Academy.

Its fine. I was also telling Grandfather that he should drink less.

Is that so? Im thankful that Iris is telling Grandfather the same thing. Grandfather wont listen to what I say, but surely hed listen to you.

Surely thats not true. Oh, would you like to have some tea as well?

Id love to accept such a rare opportunity, but I have something to do afterwards. Alright then Grandfather, time to go home.

Ugh..

Grandfather, thank you for bringing Ryle and Dida home. You should also go home and rest your body.

Cant I stay here?

While creasing his eyebrows, Grandfather pleaded.

Whatre you saying? Were going home now.

Rudeus shot down Grandfathers plea. As I thought the conversation between them is amusing.

Iris, lets have a proper conversation next time.

With that, Rudeus pulled Grandfather out of the room. I thought to myself, where does Rudeus hide that sort of strength.

Like a tornado that passed, the surrounding got extremely quiet.

Tanya, could I get one more cup?

Certainly.

As I was planning to take a bit of a longer break, Berne walked into the room.

Could I perhaps join in too?

Of course. Sit over there.

Upon my words, my excellent maid, Tanya, places a cup of tea in front of Berne.

Its been a while since weve had a conversation like this.

The last time we met was when the Foundation Day party was held, and even then I didnt talk to him. I had my own duties to attend to while Berne was following father around doing work.

Yes that is right.

Berne nodded in affirmation, and drank some tea. The tea fit his palette and his expression relaxed.

I thought that youd be going back to your fief soon.

Yes. Ive already been away from my fief for a long time, its probably about time I should head back. So, how have you been, Berne?

.Ive learned a lot working under Father. I need to recover the time Ive been wasting up until now.

Its not like youve been playing around so I think its fine, isnt it? And since it is something unique like academy life, I dont think its too bad.

I reminisced my previous life. If I remember correctly, school life is one of the vital moments. You dont realize it until you enter the work force. You work with, study with, fight with people of the same ageYou sometimes have bitter moments, but in the end its enjoyable. In my opinion, the time when you finally understand the joys of youth is a bit after you finish your school life.

But Ive stolen that precious time from you.

?

I couldnt hear Berne as his voice got quieter. His facial expression changed so I understood it was about something bad.

Nee-san. I have something I need to apologize for.

I was thinking about what you were going to say, but what exactly are you apologizing for?

Even if I didnt ask what the reason was, I could see that he was talking about my banishment from the academy.

The banishment from the academy.

I asked the question anyways since I wanted to know his motive.

You dont need to apologize for that. It was my fault that I was stubborn. So it was my mistake, not yours.

You said that last time too. But I dont think what you said is correct. At that time I was moving solely based on wanting to be loved by her. Working off of just my emotions lead to where we are now.

So what you wanted to show me was that youre aiming for the position of Prime Minister, and this apology was to show your resolution for it?

I interpreted his apology as, I wont be swayed by my emotions anymore. He came to that understanding while working under Father most likely.

That is one reason, but its not only that.

What else is there?

When I was attracted to her, I moved on nothing else but emotion, similarly, I acted condescendingly to you who acted on her own emotions. You also have a heart of your own, and I failed to understand that your heart must have also been scarred. Knowing that, Id like to apologize as a family member.

.

I had no words regarding Bernes reason. I felt a bit cross that he noticed now, but I also felt a bit glad.

Ever since that ending, I couldnt see Berne as a family member. During that time, during that moment, Berne had chosen Yuri over me.

In my previous life, I thought that siding with the girl you liked was obvious, but at the time my self as Iris was yelling, Why Why! Why do you not understand. I just loved him so much. Even you Berne, why would you throw me aside?. I can understand my feelings more than I can understand myself. I sympathized with the yelling inside of me.

To be honest, I didnt care so much about Dorsen or Van because they were less involved. But I felt different towards Prince Edward and Berne. Since I was engaged to Edward, I felt attached to him. As for Berne, he was my precious family member. And so when the two sided with her, I felt shocked that I had been tossed away so easily. Furthermore I was disgraced even further by the two.

I was denounced in front of a great number of people. It was good that my memories of my previous life resurfaced then, but if that had not occurred I may have fallen into a state of panic. Then and there, I also swore that I would never fall in love again, and on top of that I would never fully trust people. I was even thrown away by someone I considered family. The event that turned me into who I am made it so that I couldnt simply forgive him.

The cold part of myself couldnt help but think Its too late now, but the other side of me wanted to forgive him.

I accept your apology; however, I cannot forgive you just yet.

If it was her If it was Yuri, would she have forgiven him right away? A useless thought surged through me.

That is enough for me.

With that, Berne took my apology as is.