"Why?" he demanded. "Why?"

She shook her head. "I couldn't begin to explain it to you: '

Sara turned and walked slowly back to the restaurant, her shoulders braced like those of a soldier who had been forced to ride into the heart of a battle.

Nik watched her go, then turned and walked in the opposite direction.

He had no idea for how long.

She was right. This time walking along the beach didn't soothe him.

It just made him feel lonely.

Chapter 9.

The office felt eerily quiet. Jennifer had taken the day off for a long-overdue outing with Kane and Katie. Today there was no constant stream of waitresses stopping by to look in on the baby or to exchange a few words with Jennifer. Rather than enjoy it, for some reason the silence made Sara feel restless.

She missed Jennifer. The woman was incredihly even tempered Unlike her brother, Sara thought with a smile. It was odd how you could know a person for only a few short days and feel as if you'd known them forever.

She felt that way about Jennifer. She had no idea how she felt about Nik, other than hopelessly confused. She opened another folder and started typing.

She knew Nik was standing there before she even turned around. She could feel him looking at her. She didn't even try to explore why she knew. She just did.

"Hi." She tossed the greeting in his direction without looking up from her work.

Feeling a little self-conscious that she had caught him staring at her, Nik walked into the office. "I came to see how you were doing."

Actually, that was stretching the truth a little. He had stopped by just to see her. Period.

Sara looked up just as he reached her desk. There was an interesting-looking blue streak running along the length of his ap.r.o.n.

She couldn't begin to guess as to its origin. Cooking was as much of a mystery to her as he was.

"Fine, although I miss Katie's chatter." She'd lost her place, and gave up for a moment. "I've gotten kind of used to it." q'She does grow on you: The silence hung awkwardly between them. Nik dragged his hand through his hair. "Well, if everything's all right.. "

He began to leave. He felt like an awkward teenager when he was around her. No, that wasn't right, he amended. Even as a teenager he had never felt this way. He'd been a high school jock who'd enjoyed a full and active social life. Conversations with the opposite s.e.x had never been a problem

Until now.

Sara seemed to knock out all the known parameters of his world as if they were only rotting pieces of wood. So why did he keep coming back for more?

Nik forced himself to stop in the doorway. "Isn't your father scheduled to be released soon? "

"Tomorrow: Her hand hovered over the keyboard as she -turned to look at him. " How did you know? " " " I was there when the doctor talked to you, remember? "

He crossed to her again and this time sat down in the chair next to the desk, making himself as comfortable as he could around her.

"What is that?" she finally asked, skimming her fingertip along the blue streak. Her hand came in contact with his thigh. Marginally, but it was enough to affect them both.

Nik shifted slightly, suddenly feeling restless. "Blueberry sauce.

Chris spilled some prying the lid off a jar. I had the misfortune of being caught in the cross fire." Nik shook his head. "He's got promise, but a long way to go." Not unlike he himself had been ten years ago, Nik supposed.

132 Chrcstmas Every Day qmas Every Day 133 "

W.

Leaning his elbows on the arms of the chair, he folded his :: He wondered if she had ever watched old movies as a hands together and studied her face. "Need any help bring- d. His father had been an old-movies buff who perioding him home?" When she raised her eyes to his face quiz- qy took Nik and his sisters to revivals and old film festizically , he added, " " Your father. " yals when they were growing up, as well as any musical that

An amused smile lifted the corners of her mouth. The eight have been playing within a fifty-mile radius. It made man never gave up, did he?

"I don't intend to sling him over fora well-rounded childhood.

my shoulder and carry him back to his house. " " A cla.s.sic Christmas movie. You should rent it someNik picked up a folder and pretended to thumb through time and watch. " He grinned, leaning forward. " How does it. The inventory list of last month's condiment order it feel "

" How does what feel? " She wished Jennifer was here to slipped out. A simple yes or no would work better in this , case, Sara." He bent over to pick up the list from the floor take the focus away from her. She wasn't doing well at all and then dropped it on the desk. "Preferably a yes." qspite her efforts to the contrary. He had completely up , , ended her not once but twice and she was having the worst

Nik stretched his long legs out. He had exactly ten time getting back on an even keel. minutes before he had to get back. Chris was about to attempt s Nik thought of all the times Sara had taken him on a ver making a souffle on his own. "He's probably weak. Get- ball game of hide-and-seek. To be confused when so meting your father out of the car into the house might not be one s talking as easy as it sounds." He paused. "Even for a woman who Not too terrific. can do everything."

She shrugged, looking for a way to save a shred of pride,

She didn't have to look at him to know there was a sar- of dignity, of sanity. Something. At this point she wasn't castic smile on his face.

Maybe she had been laying it on too sure of anything except that every time she was within spitthickly'I guess you think I deserve that. "

ting distance of Nik, she did. She spat and hissed like a cat

Nik rocked slightly in the chair, his eyes on hers. "Yes, I that was being cornered. Right about now she felt as if she do. " was standing on emotional quicksand.

She blew out a breath and decided to abandon the pre- She opened another folder and stared at the first page, not tense of being able to concentrate on anything while Nik was making sense of any of it. "It's not my fault if you can't only a foot away from her. " if I'm so irritating, why are you q upq q "Ditto." always here, volunteering to help me? "

Okay, maybe she had that coming to her. Sara sighed,

He liked the slight pink hue that rose to her cheeks when getting serious. "Really, why are you offering to help me? she became annoyed. No cosmetic could begin to approxi- This is going beyond merit badges and wings." mate the glow. She really wished he wouldn't try to help. Every time he

"Haven't you heard?" he asked mildly. "Some of us are helped, every time he kissed her, he wedged his way a little trying to earn our wings earlier these days. No waiting until farther into her life. And she knew she couldn't afford to the last minute or until Jimmy Stewart is about to leap off have him do that. Reflexively, she fought it. There was a the bridge." battle raging within her. Part of her qanted what he apparShe stared at him as if he had lost his mind. How did a q'"

ently was offering, but that part was being held prisoner by matinee idol from the fifties get into this discussion? " What a steely defense mechanism that was intended to keep her are you talking about?

" q. safe.

" " Maybe, just maybe, the reason might be, " he hypothesized , spreading his hands, " although G.o.d only knows why, that I like you, Saratoga Santangelo. " She winced.

She should never have filled out her full name on the employee form.

"If you really like me, you won't use that name."

"Why? I think it's unique. Like you" He grinned. "Saratoga. It suits you: '

She looked away. There was something about his eyes that held her captive. And she wanted to be free. "It reminds me of something I don't want to be reminded of."

He placed his hand over hers. "What?"

Sara extracted her hand, then laid both of them over the keyboard. But she didn't type. "If I talk about it, then I'll be reminded, right?

Nik shook his head. She was definitely in a cla.s.s by herself' For a woman who talks a lot, you're awfully closemouthed"