Having made these dispositions, my lord, I proceeded to mislead the enemy as to our intentions, in suffering my servant to be taken with an intercepted despatch. This, being a prescription by Doctor Colles, would convey to the dean's mind the impression that I was still upon the sick list. This being done, and four canisters of Dartford gunpowder being procured on tick, our military chest being in a most deplorable condition, I waited for the moment of attack.

A heavy rain, accompanied with a frightful hurricane, prevailed during the entire day, rendering the march of the troops who came from the neighborhood of Merrion Square and Fitzwilliam Street, a service of considerable fatigue. The outlying pickets in College Green, being induced probably by the inclemency of the season, were rather tipsy on joining, and having engaged in a skirmish with old M'Calister, tying his red uniform over his head, the moment of attack was precipitated, and we moved to the trenches by half-past nine o'clock.

Nothing could be more orderly, nothing more perfect, than the march of the troops. As we approached the corner of the commons-hall, a skirmish on the rear apprised us that our intentions had become known; and I soon learned from my aide-de-camp, Bob Moore, that the attack was made by a strong column of the enemy, under the command of old Fitzgerald.

Perpendicular (as your lordship is aware he is styled by the army) came on in a determined manner, and before many minutes had elapsed had taken several prisoners, among others Tom Drummond,--Long Tom,--who, having fallen on all fours, was mistaken for a long eighteen. The success, however, was but momentary; Nesbitt's Brigade attacked them in flank, rescued the prisoners, extinguished the dean's lantern, and having beaten back the heavy porters, took Perpendicular himself prisoner.

An express from the left informed me that the attack upon the provost's house had proved equally successful; there wasn't a whole pane of gla.s.s in the front, and from a footman who deserted, it was learned that Mrs. Hutchinson was in hysterics.

While I was reading this despatch, a strong feeling of the line towards the right announced that something was taking place in that direction. Bob Moore, who rode by on Drummond's back, hurriedly informed me that Williams had put the lighted end of his cigar to one of the fuses, but the powder, being wet, did not explode notwithstanding his efforts to effect it. Upon this, I hastened to the front, where I found the individual in question kneeling upon the ground, and endeavoring, as far as punch would permit him, to kindle a flame at the portfire. Before I could interfere, the spark had caught; a loud, hissing noise followed; the different magazines successively became ignited, and at length the fire reached the great four-pound charge.

I cannot convey to your lordship, by any words of mine, an idea of this terrible explosion; the blazing splinters were hurled into the air, and fell in fiery ma.s.ses on every side from the park to King William; Ivey the bell-ringer, was precipitated from the scaffold beside the bell, and fell headlong into the mud beneath; the surrounding buildings trembled at the shock; the windows were shattered, and in fact a scene of perfect devastation ensued on all sides.

When the smoke cleared away, I rose from my rec.u.mbent position, and perceived with delight that not a vestige of the pump remained.

The old iron handle was imbedded in the wall of the dining-hall, and its round k.n.o.b stood out like the end of a queue.

Our loss was, of course, considerable; and ordering the wounded to the rear, I proceeded to make an orderly and regular retreat. At this time, however, the enemy had a.s.sembled in force. Two battalions of porters, led on by Dr. Dobbin, charged us on the flank; a heavy brigade poured down upon us from the battery, and but for the exertions of Harry Nesbitt, our communication with our reserves must have been cut off. Cecil Cavendish also came up; for although beaten in his great attack, the forces under his command had penetrated by the kitchen windows, and carried oil a considerable quant.i.ty of cold meat.

Concentrating the different corps, I made an echelon movement upon the chapel, to admit of the light division coming up. This they did in a few moments, informing me that they had left Perpendicular in the haha, which, as your lordship is aware, is a fosse of the very greenest and most stagnant nature. We now made good our retreat upon number "2," carrying our wounded with us. The plunder we also secured; but we kicked the prisoners, and suffered them to escape.

Thus terminated, my lord, one of the brightest achievements of the undergraduate career. I enclose a list of the wounded, as also an account of the various articles returned in the commissary-general's list.

Harry Nesbitt: severely wounded; no coat nor hat; a black-eye; left shoe missing.

Cecil Cavendish: face severely scratched; supposed to have received his wound in the attack upon the kitchen.

Tom Drummond: not recognizable by his friends; his features resembling a transparency disfigured by the smoke of the preceding night's illumination.

Bob Moore: slightly wounded.

I would beg particularly to recommend all these officers to your lordship's notice; indeed, the conduct of Moore, in kicking the dean's lantern out of the porter's hand, was marked by great prompt.i.tude and decision. This officer will present to H. R. H. the following trophies, taken from the enemy: The dean's cap and ta.s.sel; the key of his chambers; Dr. Dobbin's wig and bands; four porters' helmets, and a book on the cellar.

I have the honor to remain, my lord, etc.,

FRANCIS WEBBER.

G. O.

The commander-of-the-forces returns his thanks to the various officers and soldiers employed in the late a.s.sault, for their persevering gallantry and courage. The splendor of the achievement can only be equalled by the humanity and good conduct of the troops.

It only remains for him to add, that the less they say about the transaction, and the sooner they are severally confined to their beds with symptoms of contagious fever, the better.

Meanwhile, to concert upon the future measures of the campaign, the army will sup to-night at Morrison's.

Here ended this precious epistle, rendering one fact sufficiently evident,--that, however my worthy friend advanced in years, he had not grown in wisdom.

While ruminating upon the strange infatuation which could persuade a gifted and an able man to lavish upon dissipation and reckless absurdity the talents that must, if well directed, raise him to eminence and distinction, a few lines of a newspaper paragraph fell from the paper I was reading. It ran thus:--

LATE OUTRAGE IN TRINITY COLLEGE, DUBLIN.

We have great pleasure in stating that the serious disturbance which took place within the walls of our University a few evenings since, was in no wise attributable to the conduct of the students. A party of ill-disposed townspeople were, it would appear, the instigators and perpetrators of the outrage. That their object was the total destruction of our venerated University there can be but little doubt. Fortunately, however, they did not calculate upon the _esprit de corps_ of the students, a body of whom, under the direction of Mr.

Webber, successfully opposed the a.s.sailants, and finally drove them from the walls.

It is, we understand, the intention of the board to confer some mark of approbation upon Mr. Webber, who, independently of this, has strong claims upon their notice, his collegiate success pointing him out as the most extraordinary man of his day.

This, my dear Charley, will give you some faint conception of one of the most brilliant exploits of modern days. The bulletin, believe me, is not Napoleonized into any bombastic extravagance of success.

The tiling was splendid; from the brilliant firework of the old pump itself, to the figure of Perpendicular dripping with duckweed, like an insane river-G.o.d, it was unequalled. Our fellows behaved like trumps; and to do them justice, so did the enemy. But unfortunately, notwithstanding this, and the plausible paragraphs of the morning papers, I have been summoned before the board for Tuesday next.

Meanwhile I employ myself in throwing off a shower of small squibs for the journals, so that if the board deal not mercifully with me, I may meet with sympathy from the public. I have just despatched a little editorial bit for the "Times," calling, in terms of parental tenderness, upon the University to say--

"How long will the extraordinary excesses of a learned funct be suffered to disgrace college? Is Doctor ---- to be permitted to exhibit an example of more riotous insubordination than would be endured in an undergraduate? More on this subject hereafter."

"'Saunders' News-letter.'--Dr. Barret appeared at the head police-office, before Alderman Darley, to make oath that neither he nor Catty were concerned in the late outrage upon the pump." etc., etc.

Paragraphs like these are flying about in every provincial paper of the empire. People shake their heads when they speak of the University, and respectable females rather cross over by King William and the Bank than pa.s.s near its precincts.

Tuesday Evening.

Would you believe it, they've expelled me! Address your next letter as usual, for they haven't got rid of me yet.

Yours, F. W.

"So I shall find him in his old quarters," thought I, "and evidently not much altered since we parted." It was not without a feeling of (I trust pardonable) pride that I thought over my own career in the interval. My three years of campaigning life had given me some insight into the world, and some knowledge of myself, and conferred upon me a boon, of which I know not the equal,--that, while yet young, and upon the very threshold of life, I should have tasted the enthusiastic pleasures of a soldier's fortune, and braved the dangers and difficulties of a campaign at a time when, under other auspices, I might have wasted my years in unprofitable idleness or careless dissipation.

CHAPTER x.x.xIX.

LONDON.

Twelve hours after my arrival in England I entered London. I cannot attempt to record the sensations which thronged my mind as the din and tumult of that mighty city awoke me from a sound sleep I had fallen into in the corner of the chaise. The seemingly interminable lines of lamplight, the crash of carriages, the glare of the shops, the buzz of voices, made up a chaotic ma.s.s of sights and sounds, leaving my efforts at thought vain and fruitless.

Obedient to my instructions, I lost not a moment in my preparations to deliver my despatches. Having dressed myself in the full uniform of my corps, I drove to the Horse Guards. It was now nine o'clock, and I learned that his Royal Highness had gone to dinner at Carlton House. In a few words which I spoke with the aide-de-camp, I discovered that no information of the fall of Ciudad Rodrigo had yet reached England. The greatest anxiety prevailed as to the events of the Peninsula, from which no despatches had been received for several weeks past.

To Carlton House I accordingly bent my steps, without any precise determination how I should proceed when there, nor knowing how far etiquette might be an obstacle to the accomplishment of my mission. The news of which I was the bearer was, however, of too important a character to permit me to hesitate, and I presented myself to the aide-de-camp in waiting, simply stating that I was intrusted with important letters to his Royal Highness, the purport of which did not admit of delay.

"They have not gone to dinner yet," lisped out the aide-de-camp, "and if you would permit me to deliver the letters--"

"Mine are despatches," said I, somewhat proudly, and in no way disposed to cede to another the honor of personally delivering them into the hands of the duke.

"Then you had better present yourself at the levee to-morrow morning,"

replied he, carelessly, while he turned into one of the window recesses, and resumed the conversation with one of the gentlemen-in-waiting.

I stood for some moments uncertain and undecided; reluctant on the one part to relinquish my claim as the bearer of the despatches, and equally unwilling to defer their delivery till the following day.

Adopting the former alternative, I took my papers from my sabretasche, and was about to place them in the hands of the aide-de-camp, when the folding-doors at the end of the apartment suddenly flew open, and a large and handsome man with a high bald forehead entered hastily.