And oh! the Lad was Deathly Proud!

He never shook your Hand or Bowed, But merely smirked and nodded

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thus: How perfectly ridiculous!

Alas! That such Affected Tricks Should flourish in a Child of Six!

(For such was Young G.o.dolphin's age).

Just then, the Court required a Page, Whereat

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the Lord High Chamberlain (The Kindest and the Best of Men), He went good-naturedly and

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took A Perfectly Enormous Book Called _People Qualified to Be Attendant on His Majesty_, And murmured, as he scanned the list (To see that no one should be missed), "There's

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William Coutts has got the Flue,

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And Billy Higgs would never do,

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And Guy de Vere is far too young,

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And ... wasn't D'Alton's Father hung?

And as for Alexander Byng!-- ...

I think I know the kind of thing, A Churchman, cleanly, n.o.bly born, Come let us say G.o.dolphin Horne?"

But hardly had he said the word When Murmurs of Dissent were heard.

The King of Iceland's Eldest Son Said, "Thank you! I am taking none!"

The Aged d.u.c.h.ess of Athlone Remarked, in her sub-acid tone, "I doubt if He is what we need!"

With which the Bishops all agreed; And even Lady Mary Flood (_So_ Kind, and oh! so _really_ good) Said, "No! He wouldn't do at all, He'd make us feel a lot too small,"

The Chamberlain said, " ... Well, well, well!

No doubt you're right.... One cannot tell!"

He took his Gold and Diamond Pen And

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Scratched G.o.dolphin out again.

So now G.o.dolphin is the Boy Who blacks the Boots at the Savoy.

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ALGERNON,

_Who played with a Loaded Gun, and, on missing his Sister was reprimanded by his Father._

Young Algernon, the Doctor's Son, Was

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playing with a Loaded Gun.

He pointed it towards his sister, Aimed very carefully, but

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Missed her!

His Father, who was standing near,

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The Loud Explosion chanced to Hear,

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And reprimanded Algernon For playing with a Loaded Gun.

HILDEBRAND,

_Who was frightened by a Pa.s.sing Motor, and was brought to Reason._

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"Oh, Murder! What was that, Papa!"

"My child, It was a Motor-Car, A Most Ingenious Toy!

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Designed to Captivate and Charm Much rather than to rouse Alarm In any English Boy.

"What would your Great Grandfather who

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