In vain th' indignant mayor harangued, A mighty chandler he!

While peas his h.o.a.ry head around They whistled pleasantly.

In vain he tenderly inquired, 'Mid many a wild "hurrah!"

"Of this what father dear would think, Of that what dear mamma?"

VII

In rushed a host of peelers, With a sergeant at the head, Jaggard to every kitchen known, Of missuses the dread.

In rushed that warlike mult.i.tude, Like bees from out their hive, With Fluffy of the squinting eye, And fighting No. 5.

VIII

Up sprang Inspector Fluffy, Up Sergeant Jaggard rose, And playfully with staff he tapped A gownsman on the nose.

As falls a thundersmitten oak, The valiant Jaggard fell, With a line above each ogle, And a "mouse" or two as well.

IX

But hark! the cry is "Sm.u.f.fkins!

And loud the gownsmen cheer, And lo! a stalwart Johnian Comes jostling from the rear: He eyed the flinching peelers, He aimed a deadly blow, Then quick before his fist went down Inspector, Marshal, Peelers, Town, While fiercer fought the joyful Gown, To see the claret flow.

X

They run, they run! to win the door The vanquished peelers flew; They left the sergeant's hat behind, And the lecturer's surtout: Now by our Lady Margaret, It was a goodly sight, To see that routed mult.i.tude Swept down the tide of flight.

XI

Then hurrah! for gallant Sm.u.f.fkins, For Cantabs one hurrah!

Like wolves in quest of prey they scent A peeler from afar.

Hurrah! for all who strove and bled For liberty and right, What time within the Guildhall Was fought the glorious fight.

ON THE ITALIAN PRIESTHOOD

This an adaptation of the following epigram, which appeared in Giuseppe Giusti's RACCOLTA DI PROVERBI TOSCANI (Firenze, 1853)

Con arte e con inganno si vive mezzo l'anno Con inganno e con arte si vive l'altra parte.

In knavish art and gathering gear They spend the one half of the year; In gathering gear and knavish art They somehow spend the other part.

SAMUEL BUTLER AND THE SIMEONITES

The following article, which originally appeared in the CAMBRIDGE MAGAZINE, 1 March, 1913, is by Mr. A. T. Bartholomew, of the University Library, Cambridge, who has most kindly allowed me to include it in the present volume. Mr. Bartholomew's discovery of Samuel Butler's parody of the Simeonite tract throws a most interesting light upon a curious pa.s.sage in THE WAY OF ALL FLESH, and it is a great pleasure to me to be able to give Butlerians the story of Mr. Bartholomew's "find" in his own words.

Readers of Samuel Butler's remarkable story The Way of All Flesh will probably recall his description of the Simeonites (chap.

xlvii), who still flourished at Cambridge when Ernest Pontifex was up at Emmanuel. Ernest went down in 1858; so did Butler.

Throughout the book the spiritual and intellectual life and development of Ernest are drawn from Butler's own experience.

"The one phase of spiritual activity which had any life in it during the time Ernest was at Cambridge was connected with the name of Simeon. There were still a good many Simeonites, or as they were more briefly called 'Sims,' in Ernest's time. Every college contained some of them, but their head-quarters were at Caius, whither they were attracted by Mr. Clayton, who was at that time senior tutor, and among the sizars of St. John's. Behind the then chapel of this last-named college was a 'labyrinth' (this was the name it bore) of dingy, tumble-down rooms," and here dwelt many Simeonites, "unprepossessing in feature, gait, and manners, unkempt and ill-dressed beyond what can be easily described. Destined most of them for the Church, the Simeonites held themselves to have received a very loud call to the ministry . . . They would be instant in season and out of season in imparting spiritual instruction to all whom they could persuade to listen to them. But the soil of the more prosperous undergraduates was not suitable for the seed they tried to sow. When they distributed tracts, dropping them at night into good men's letter boxes while they were asleep, their tracts got burnt, or met with even worse contumely." For Ernest Pontifex "they had a repellent attraction; he disliked them, but he could not bring himself to leave them alone. On one occasion he had gone so far as to parody one of the tracts they had sent round in the night, and to get a copy dropped into each of the leading Simeonites' boxes. The subject he had taken was 'Personal Cleanliness.'"

Some years ago I found among the Cambridge papers in the late Mr. J.

W. Clark's collection three printed pieces bearing on the subject.

The first is a genuine Simeonite tract; the other two are parodies.

All three are anonymous. At the top of the second parody is written "By S. Butler. March 31." It will be necessary to give a few quotations from the Simeonite utterance in order to bring out the full flavour of Butler's parody, which is given entire. Butler went up to St. John's in October, 1854; so at the time of writing this squib he was in his second term, and 18 years of age.

A.T.B.

I.--Extracts from the sheet dated "St. John's College, March 13th, 1855." In a ma.n.u.script note this is stated to be by Ynyr Lamb, of St. John's (B.A., 1862).

1. When a celebrated French king once showed the infidel philosopher Hume into his carriage, the latter at once leaped in, on which his majesty remarked: "That's the most accomplished man living."

It is impossible to presume enough on Divine grace; this kind of presumption is the characteristic of Heaven. . .

2. Religion is not an obedience to external forms or observances, but "a bold leap in the dark into the arms of an affectionate Father."

4. However Church Music may raise the devotional feelings, these bring a man not one iota nearer to Christ, neither is it acceptable in His sight.

13. The ONE thing needful is Faith: Faith = 0.25 (historical faith) + 0.75 (heart-belief, or a.s.surance, or justification) 1.25 peace; and peace=Ln Trust--care+joy^(n-r+1)

18. The Lord's church has been always peculiarly tried at different stages of history, and each era will have its peculiar glory in eternity. . . . At the present time the trial for the church is peculiar; never before, perhaps, were the insinuations of the adversary so plausible and artful--his ingenuity so subtle--himself so much an angel of light--experience has sharpened his wit--"WHILE MEN SLEPT the enemy sowed tares"--he is now the base hypocrite--he suits his blandishments to all--the Church is lulled in the arms of the monster, rolling the sweet morsel under her tongue . . .

II.--Samuel Butler's Parody

1. Beware! Beware! Beware! The enemy sowed tracts in the night, and the righteous men tremble.

2. There are only 10 good men in John's; I am one; reader, calculate your chance of salvation.

3. The genuine recipe for the leaven of the Pharisees is still extant, and runs as follows: --Self-deceit 0.33 + want of charity 0.5 + outward show 0.33, humbug infinity, insert Sim or not as required. Reader, let each one who would seem to be righteous take unto himself this leaven.

4. "The University Church is a place too much neglected by the young men up here." Thus said the learned Selwyn, {5} and he said well. How far better would it be if each man's own heart was a little University Church, the pericardium a little University churchyard, wherein are buried the l.u.s.t of the flesh, the pomps and vanities of this wicked world; the veins and arteries, little clergymen and bishops ministering therein; and the blood a stream of soberness, temperance and chast.i.ty perpetually flowing into it.

5. The deluge went before, misery followed after, in the middle came a Puseyite playing upon an organ. Reader, flee from him, for he playeth his own soul to d.a.m.nation.

6. Church music is as the wh.o.r.e of Babylon, or the ramping lion who sought whom he might devour; music in a church cannot be good, when St. Paul bade those who were merry to sing psalms. Music is but tinkling bra.s.s, and sounding cymbals, which is what St. Paul says he should himself be, were he without charity; he evidently then did not consider music desirable.

7. The most truly religious and only thoroughly good man in Cambridge is Clayton, {6} of Cams.