I couldn't sleep in there anymore. It wouldn't feel magical like it once did. My body went limp and rigid at the same time. My heart shut down completely. I didn't want to listen to him breathe in the dark. I didn't want to see his face first thing in the morning. If we were just two people screwing, then that's how we should act. "I'm staying in here. Good night, Crow."

He remained by the door, his hand resting on the doorknob. "I want to keep an eye on you."

"You don't need to." He even said it himself. If I died he'd be able to get over-because he didn't love me and liked it that way. The past nine months felt like a dream. It had to be a dream because I was the only one who remembered it. I thought I'd found the place where I belonged. I thought I was different-special. But he coldly reminded me I was just one of the many.

And I would always be.

He lingered in the entryway even though he didn't have anything else to say.

"I'm tired." That was my polite way of dismissing him. I wasn't even sure if I could sleep with him again before I left. All I would think about was the way I poured my heart out and he shut it down. "I'll see you in the morning." I adjusted myself on the bed and got comfortable under the sheets. I purposely turned away from him so I wouldn't have to look at him.

His feet didn't echo with his footsteps. He stood his ground and stared at me. I expected him to crawl into bed bedside me but he never did. Then I heard his feet hit the hardwood floor as he walked out. The click of the door sounded a moment later.

I wanted to cry but I refused to. Bones hurt me beyond repair but I got over that. Jacob betrayed me but I got over that. Cane beat me until I was black and blue but I got over that. But I would never get over this.

I got Cane's phone number from Lars, and when Crow was at work I gave him a call.

"Barsetti," he answered.

"I have a bone to pick with you, idiot."

He paused over the line. "Who the hell is this?"

"It's Pearl. You know, the woman you said your brother was in love with?"

"Uh...what's up?"

"You lied to me. You made me believe he actually loved me. And then when I told him how I felt he shut me down."

"He did?" he asked in shock. "What happened? You told him you loved him and he just stood there?"

"We were having sex."

"Yikes. That makes it worse."

"Anyway, he told he didn't love me and never would. So, thanks."

"He's full of shit. I know when my brother is full of it, and right now he's delusional."

"Doesn't matter. I just wanted to chew you out for throwing me under the bus."

"Whoa, hold on," he said. "I never told you to tell him you love him."

"But you certainly gave me a nudge."

He sighed into the phone. "What do you want me to say? You want me to talk to him?"

"God, no. I just wanted to give you a piece of my mind."

"Well, I don't care. I'm not good with these strange girl talks. I'm not even sure why we're still talking about it. Who cares if he didn't say it back? Move on."

If only it were that easy. "I want to take down Bones now. I want to get it over with so I can leave."

"Right now?" he asked incredulously. "Aren't you still injured?"

"No." My scars had finally healed weeks ago. "I'm ready to take this asshole down. Are you with me or what?"

"Of course I am-"

"Then talk to him." I hung up before Cane could get another word in.

Chapter Sixteen.

Crow I stared out my window and stared at the distant vineyards like I had so many times. I knew this land better than most people. It was in my blood, my heritage. Sometimes when I enjoyed the scenery it cleared my thoughts from the subjects that dragged me down.

The door to my office opened and Cane walked inside. I could tell by the way he barged in without checking in with my assistant. It clicked shut behind him. "Hard at work, huh?"

I turned in the chair and faced him, my temple already thudding with a headache. "I could say the same to you."

He helped himself to the chair in front of my desk. He slouched in the cushion and breathed a deep sigh like he was exhausted. "Wad up?"

My eyes automatically narrowed. "You tell me. You're the one paying me a visit."

"Well, I've been getting restless. When are we going to make a move on Bones?"

I hadn't thought about it. Button was on my mind. Last night, I didn't get any sleep without her. I used to hate sleeping with another person, but now I couldn't stand being alone. "I don't know. Button is still healing."

"She's fine. She looks good as new."

"But she's not mentally prepared."

"Well, she called me and asked when we're taking out Bones. So, I think she's ready."

She called him? Why didn't she speak to me instead of him? "Really?"

"Yep."

"What else did she say?"

"Nothing much." He took a look around my office, admiring my pictures and bookshelves. "Just that she said she loved you and you didn't say it back..."

I couldn't believe she told my brother that. They were mortal enemies and now they were gossiping girlfriends.

"Dude, what's up?"

"What do you mean what's up?"

"What the hell are you doing?" He tilted his head to the side and looked at me like I was a weirdo. "Why did you leave her hanging like that?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you." I didn't share private information with my brother. We weren't the kind of people that shared our feelings and thoughts. I preferred to keep them bottled up deep inside where no one would find them.

"Well, I'm having this conversation with you."

"Cane, stay out of it."

"I can't. According to the Barsetti code, I can't. You think I like talking about this stupid bullshit? No, it's not my cup of tea. Or should I say, it's not my glass of wine."

"Barsetti code?"

"Yeah. You're making a serious mistake that you'll regret. I can't let you do that without giving you some council first. You would do it for me."

"I don't need council on the matter." He was sticking his nose where it didn't belong, and I wasn't thrilled about it. Cane and I weren't the kind of brothers that talked about emotional bullshit. We hardly talked about Vanessa when she died.

"I think you do. She's pretty upset about it."

That wasn't surprising. It was the most awkward moment of my life. She stared at me and waited for me to repeat the words back to her. When they never came, her face contorted into one of heartbreak. "As she should be."

"No, you don't get it. She wants to leave as soon as possible."

I gathered that much.

"I'm not trying to be a pussy, but I know you love her. Just tell her."

"I don't love her."

"Come on, yes you do. It's so obvious-even to me."

My heart was frozen solid and my body was incapacitated. It couldn't handle another blow-another loss. "I don't."

"So when she leaves you're just going to let her go?" he asked incredulously.

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"Crow, she's not just some slut you're keeping around. Whatever you have with her goes beyond that. I don't understand why you're in denial about this. People fall in love and get married every day. Why is this so difficult for you to understand?"

"I'm not people."

"Last time I checked you were."

Definitely not. I was a beast of the dark.

"Look, she's going to leave as soon as this is finished. Are you really prepared to give her up?"

I couldn't imagine my life without that woman living in my house. Just getting any sleep without her was nearly impossible. The vineyards would never look quite the same. Eating dinner without her would never feel the same. After work I would come home to an empty house until I found another woman to whip and beat. The idea made me feel lonely. "If she wants to go, she can go."

"And you're okay with losing the love of your life?"

"I never said she was."

"But it's so goddamn obvious, man. What's the hold up?"

I knew he wasn't going to drop this anytime soon. "You and I aren't the type of men who can have a wife and a family."

"Why not?"

"Because of Mom, Dad, and Vanessa. One by one, we've been taken out. You think a woman you love would ever be safe? Our enemies would constantly look for a way to hurt us. A wife would be a perfect target."

"Not if we keep them safe."

"How did that go last time?" I snapped. "Vanessa is buried in the funeral home along with Mom and Dad. How many more bodies will we add?"

"Let me get this straight." He held up both hands, growing enthused. "The only reason why you're pushing her away is to protect her? So you do love her? You just can't risk telling her that?"

"Yes, I'm pushing her away to protect her. But no, I don't love her."

He narrowed his eyes. "Crow."

"I don't. I don't do love. I told her that from the beginning. It's not my fault she didn't believe me."

"I've seen you with her," he snapped. "Maybe you can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me."

"Cane, just drop it. I'm embarrassed we've had this conversation at all."

"I'm not. You're my brother and I want you to be happy. I think you need her in order to be happy."

I stared at my bookshelf, avoiding the determined look on his face. "I'll never be happy." It was a fate I accepted a long time ago. With Button, small jolts of joy erupted through my body at random times. She made me laugh and made me smile. But those feelings were only temporary. The depression would swallow me up again shortly afterward.

"Maybe you should stop being so dramatic and just give it a shot."

"Maybe you should shut your mouth."

"Look, I'm just trying to help. If you don't want to lose her you need to change gears. That's all I'm saying."

"I've already let her go." I would never return her feelings or give her the life she wanted. I would never keep her safe. My heart no longer worked and I was void of any emotion except violence. She deserved a man far better than me.

He sighed in defeat. "Alright. I had to give it a shot."

At least the conversation was over.